I'm Not Going to Be Bullied By a Girl

Chapter 62 – Amazing Detective Di RenJie

ED: Hey guys, going to leave this survey here (for a week or so) in case some people didn’t get a chance to fill it out. Also, just a quick update TL is back to uni, and I just graduated so I’m doing a lot of job searching currently (hmu if you got connections in CS lol). So the website updates and additions will be slower than I thought, I apologize. But other than that, chapters will still release on schedule. Enjoy the chapter!

I believe that it is unethical to peek at others’ secrets.

“Hey, your sister is always so cautious, was the diary unlocked?”

“Of course not! From primary school to middle school, every single diary that my sister has used had a lock, but the one she uses now has a password lock!”

I’ve never used those diaries, so I don’t understand the difference between a normal lock and a password lock.

“The lock that my sister uses only goes from 000 to 999, which makes a total of 1000 numbers! I was extremely patient. Everyday while my sister took a bath, I would secretly take her diary and try out 100 numbers. I would then dial it back to the original numbers to avoid my sister from finding out, it didn’t even take 2 weeks to crack the code!”

Shu Zhe was indeed smart, but I don’t think he was using it in the right place.

“Also I found out that my sister’s diary password is 813! It ‘s just the reverse of my birthday, March 18th! If I knew that earlier I would have saved so much time! It’s ridiculous!”

Shu Zhe spoke of his own peeking story as if he was Conan who just cracked a big case.

I don’t think it is ridiculous that your sister used the reverse of your birthday as the password. What’s ridiculous is you disappointing your sister.

“Hey, brother Ye Lin, do you want to know what my sister wrote in her diary?”

“I don’t want to know, and don’t tell me.”

I want to set some boundaries with this kid.

“No, listen! The diary mentioned you!”

“Me? Even if she wrote about me, it would be about how she finds me irritating, or can’t wait for me to die. Something along those lines?”

Shu Zhe’s expression signified “You’re so wrong”, but it made me really want to hit him.

“Brother Ye Lin, on Thursday, you had my sister’s photo stashed in your pocket. That was discovered by my sister, right?”

Indeed it happened, but I had already forgotten which day it occurred on.

“That was a misunderstanding. Someone else brought that photo to school. I only happened to pick it up. I would have dealt with it the minute I had time. As for your sister, I’m not...”

“Brother Ye Lin, don’t be shy! Everyone has an eye for beauty. Anyways, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with having my sister’s photo.”

Shu Zhe said while patting my arm as if to say it’s no big deal.

The class leader should not have told other students, otherwise it would have already been spread by Loud Mouth throughout the school. Shu Zhe probably knows because the class leader had written it down in her diary.

I’m a bit curious about how the class leader described the situation in her diary, but if I asked, I would feel like I am Shu Zhe’s partner in crime.

I drank a mouthful of mineral water to moisten my throat.

“Brother Ye Lin, I think my sister might like you.”

God damn you made me spray out the water! That was even creepier than the phrase “I hope you take my sister away”, that you said yesterday! How could Shu Sha ever like me! In our class, she is my complete opposite! It’s like the terrorists and counter-terrorists in Counter-Strike, the United States and the Soviet Union in Red Alert, or the the eternal struggle between order and chaos in DND!

I coughed for a while because I choked on the water. Shu Zhe looked at me slyly, as if I felt guilty about something.

“Cough, cough, kids shouldn’t spout nonsense, do you have any proof?”

“So far I don’t have any concrete evidence, but according to my analysis, my sister probably likes you, but she herself doesn’t even know.”

Shu Zhe wore the expression of a detective, but listening to what he said, I was actually relieved.

It turned out that it was only a child’s speculations. I thought there was conclusive proof or something. If Xiao Qin writes in a diary that she likes me, it will never be ambiguous, and people will never second guess. Maybe it will start with “I like Ye Lin classmate”, and then the rest of it will be “likelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelikelike”, that kind of horror film.

Seeing that I started to drink water without hesitation, Shu Zhe couldn’t sit still.

“Brother Ye Lin, listen to my analysis! My sister started writing in this diary on March 1st. Other than the classroom chores, it was written about me, such as how many meals I have eaten today... As if it was an animal observation diary...”

I couldn’t help but want to laugh, Shu Zhe was indeed being raised as an animal.

“Don’t laugh, that isn’t the point. The focus is on Thursday’s diary entry, there was a photo of my sister!”

“What photo?”

“The photo she confiscated from you! The corners were slightly bent. My sister probably put it there cause she wanted to flatten it!”

“What’s the problem even if she kept the photo? It’s a photo of herself anyways. She can put it wherever she wants, don’t make such a big deal out of it.”

I spoke as I rubbed Shu Zhe’s head as if I was an elder comforting a kid, “Kid, you’re still too inexperienced...”

Shu Zhe unhappily pushed my hand down.

“Stop messing around, brother Ye Lin, we’re having a serious discussion right now! About that photo, my sister used a lot of space in the diary. Although it was only describing what happened, she wrote a lot of details that would normally not be included. The handwriting was also messier than usual. She must have been hurried when she was writing, it wasn’t her usual calm and collected self.”

I really think that Shu Zhe was putting his efforts in the wrong places. If you have this much free time, go and try solving some unresolved cases or something? It will at least be helping the government.

Shu Zhe didn’t feel what he was doing was worthless, and he was speaking with overwhelming excitement.

“Pay attention here! After my sister wrote a couple of paragraphs sloppily, the next paragraph suddenly became neat and polished. That paragraph only had one sentence, which was probably written after careful deliberations. She wrote: ‘I thought that Ye Lin was my biggest failure as class leader’.

What is so special about that? It’s obviously very normal! Maybe the class leader suddenly realised that Cao JingShen was the most disgusting person in our class, and I became her second most hated guy.

I told Shu Zhe what I thought, but he didn’t agree and told me to finish listening to his analysis.

“Brother Ye Lin, Thursday’s diary entry had more written. It was about when you bumped into my sister the night you saved me under that bridge.”

I trembled a bit. I beat up those hooligans, pissed everywhere, and then exposed my bottom half to her. Which parts did she record in her diary!

Then Shu Zhe said that he analyzed the situation and deduced that his sister had seen me based on the situation. As for the details of the meeting, there was nothing written in the diary.

There was just a line written after the part ‘I thought that Ye Lin was my biggest failure as class leader’. In big letters, it wrote, “He is really disgusting!!!!!”

Damn it, do you think that’s a sign she likes me? From which part did you see your sister say likes me! Obviously, she hates me!

Shu Zhe entered his Conan state again.

“Brother Ye Lin, don’t always analyze it literally, don’t underestimate the five exclamation marks behind this sentence. My sister has always opposed this ungrammatical use of punctuation marks. She even scolds me when I use too many exclamation points when I’m chatting with my parents on QQ. Furthermore, the font she used was nearly double its usual size. This is also something that has never happened before. I’m really wondering what happened between you two that night...”

Don’t ask anymore, youngster, this is not something you should know. An event such as me exposing my bottom half to a female classmate, let it be sealed away forever.

After Shu Zhe finished speaking about Thursday’s entry, he began talking about Friday’s entry, and right at the start he already started exaggerating:

“Brother Ye Lin, there’s a humongous secret behind Friday’s entry!!”

“I think you watched too much “Amazing Detective Di RenJie“? Where are all these secrets coming from?”

She already said I was disgusting in Thursday’s entry. We also had such a fierce conflict in the classroom on Friday. I don’t know how she will judge me in the diary.

She almost resigned on Friday, she must hate my guts, right? If the class leader had a death note instead of a diary, she would definitely write my name without the slightest hesitation. She would then proceed to write the cause of death as “hit by a large truck full of rebar, and just when he thinks it’s a miracle that he wasn’t hurt, he would be penetrated by the 1000 rebar that fell from the truck and turned him into a honeycomb”, probably something along those lines?

I suddenly remembered the gun that the class leader often mentioned, I felt uncomfortable from head to toe.

“Shu Zhe, just tell me, what was written on Friday? Was she preparing to snipe me?”

Shu Zhe grinned.

“Brother Ye Lin, there was nothing written in Friday’s entry, it was completely blank!”

I was so angry that I stood up and started to walk away.

“Hey, brother Ye Lin, don’t go!”

Shu Zhe chased me while continuing his analysis.

“My sister has never once missed a day in her diary! It’s weird that she only wrote the date without writing any content! The reason she didn’t write down the conflict she had with you on Friday was definitely because she regretted it and also wanted to forget about it! This shows that you hold a high place in her heart!”

“Shu Zhe, aren’t you just making this stuff up, maybe it just happened that her pen ran out of ink! Besides, the United States also has a high status in China, but only as an opponent. Or do you want to say that China also fell in love with the United States?”

I can’t help but think of the strange scenario of the Chinese and American military running to the United Nations to get a marriage certificate.

“Wrong!!”

The sudden increase in the volume of his voice made me look back at him.

“Brother Ye Lin, you have too less experience in love, so that’s why you don’t understand! It doesn’t matter if girls started out hating, or afraid of you. As long as the feelings of hate or fear are strong enough, it’s easy for it to turn into love!”

“Eh? Is that right?”

Girls really are strange creatures that I can’t comprehend. Men have only two choices when they come face to face with things they hate or fear, it’s either fight or flee.

“Brother Ye Lin, based on my love experience and my knowledge of my sister, regardless if she currently likes you or hates you, her heart’s already in a mess. If you’re willing to give it a push, then it’s our victory! ”

“What do you mean by ‘our’? It sounds like we’re going together to flirt with your sister...”

Seeing that I’m still not serious, Shu Zhe became extremely anxious.

“We’re a team! When you get my sister, it’s a win-win situation! When a girl starts dating, she’ll have to spend a lot of money on dressing up. If she increases her own allowance, then based on her fair personality, I will also get a raise!”

“Where is the win-win? Your the only one who’s benefiting from this! What am I getting?”