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Chapter 265.1
Chapter 265.1
Chapter 265: Absolutely perfect, providing exactly the same result, without wasting unnecessary effort, while being considerate of the environment and myself.
Day 65 – Morning, Souvenir Store, the Capital Outskirts Branch
Morning, the beginning defines everything! There is even a proverb ?If it starts well, it’s fine to slip away?! The time to inspire the staff, and unify team spirit by outlining the objectives!
?Today, today we are to warmly welcome the customers and graciously rip them off? Is the spirit I’d like you to have ripping and ripping into their wallets, doing your best at rip-off sales~? Sort of~??
Tight instructions to start the refreshing morning after the night of tender grappling! No, actually, the night was pretty tight too? It was pretty crazy? Those straps biting into the… Nevermind, it’s nothing? A morning star for a nice morning start… Hm? The name is morning-themed, but it actually ushers the night of eternal slumber, so let’s put it away? Alright, let’s ban wielding morning stars inside the store! Time to rightfully abuse my authority as a shop manager! Yup, let’s do this, otherwise, I’ll be in danger. I’ll need to have it replaced with a paper fan.
?You probably intended to give out instructions on what seems to be a morning assembly, but all of the supposed instructions have question marks attached? The instructions in question are very questionable, so in a way, that actually fits, but… These aren’t instructions anymore, no??
And yet, they were rejected. Even though I did my best to convey the main point in the short, yet pleasant to the ear form, it was rejected? I guess schoolgirls these days really do dislike complicated conversations.
The Geeks and Idiots must’ve discontinued their pirating business and had their debut as bandits, so there should be tons of new goods smuggled in by the Merchants Confederation, let’s crack down on it! We have to confiscate those goods and use them in the sales called distribution to the populace! It’s enough to rip off just the Kingdom, the Confederation, and the nobles. That’s what the gorgeous reception office with an extravagant tenfold charge rate is for.
?From today we are going to have an Soup kitchen squad as well, so things are about to get busy? Like, we’ll have to cook, and cook, and cooklike hell? I mean, the slums are sure to have lots of cute orphan girls, an encounter with a beautiful lady overseeing the orphanage is awaiting, or rather, calling me, or rather, since no one is coming to hand me an invitation, I’m going there on my own? Sort of? But if a middle-aged man is awaiting me there I’m burning the place without rationing anything? I mean, if a middle-aged man is in charge of the place, then even orphans are bound to be a bunch of middle-aged men, so let’s burn it!?
????There are no middle-aged men among orphans at the orphanage, so you can’t burn it! Even if the person in charge is a middle-aged man, he is a good middle-aged man, taking care of an orphanage, okay?????
We have no time for trickle-down economics, you know? For the ones on the bottom to get any resources, they’ll have to wait until the ones on top are full, okay? No one has that eternity to spare waiting until stuff reaches the bottom, and some of it even disappears along the way. Moverover, if the top sucks up stuff from the bottom in a straw-like effect, it won’t ever reach the very bottom.
Direct distribution has a lot of impractical points, but it’s certain. A true rip-off is impossible without securing the minimal living standards. I mean, if everyone is broke, then there is no one to reap money from? There is no such a thing as Win-Win in this world, you know? Resources are limited, once collected, they have to be appropriately distributed, if they won’t do that, then I can just rip them off and scatter the stuff myself, and if everyone becomes wealthy I can rip off everyone! This is my Forever Rich Man plan! And now, it looks like beautiful female orphanage managers will be included as a bonus? And cute orphan girls hold promising future prospects… Nutrition, nutrition is necessary! As a certain lewd person of old once said, ?Proper nutrition is essential to voluptuous forms?, nutrients have to be delivered!
?Here, the pass to the Capital and distribution permit provided by Terrysel-sama of the Second Division. Please confirm them yourself.?
For some reason, a certain trend can be observed, where everyone denies me an opportunity to lead negotiations? Things are going right according to the completely perfect flawless scenario, but there seems to be no opportunity for my ad-lib negotiations to shine?
?My acting ability should’ve been confirmed during the time when the Stalker Girl was investigating me, as my captivating and impactful performance captured the hearts of the audience, as I made not a single slip during that time, and yet I don’t get even a single line? Good grief, what a way to treat the one in possession of ability great enough to deserve the?W-What a terrifying child!?[1] line, the talent that was recognized all the way back in the childhood, earning me a major role of?Tree?on countless occasions, leading to me fully usurping the role until I graduated from the primary school? Wanna see it??
?No, we don’t! Didn’t you find the role of?Tree? too much of a bother, leading to you causing afforestation of the gymnasium? Forget about perfectly acting the part, that was actually a tree, right? An actual very real tree, wasn’t it? As a result, there always was a tree standing right in the middle, be it Cinderella’s ball or the Little Mermaid sea, it was a real nuisance, you know? Why did you keep planting it year after year? Why did you think that no one caught on? That was so terrifying that you had people actually scared!?
The Capital’s first Flat Gaze, as expected, came from the Flat Gaze President. And looks like she knew that it was a tree. No, I mean, my acting ability is most certainly perfect, so I’d flawless act the part of the tree, if so, why not just use a real tree? Since the result would be the same, but without wasting my efforts and afforestation being a positive for ozone layer, a splendid substitute, great both for me and the environment, however, it seems they were dissatisfied with it?
But as expected of the Capital, it has buildings and style unlike that of the Frontier, there is even a sense of uniformity to it. But all of it is in stone. This city planning allows to easily create an army of stone golems with Earth Magic? That sounds pretty strong, but if it came to battle, homes would end up sort of walking away? Is that really alright? And if it happens when one of the local girls is taking a bath, Stone Golems would become Fan-Service Golems! Alright, let’s boot them up, but Fan-Service Golems? If I spot a golem that came with a middle-aged man bathing scene I’d burn it along with the capital? No need for reveals of that sort, okay? Wait, what you were actually thinking of revealing, old man! Alright, let’s burn it to cinders, leaving nothing but ashes.
?Heeey, Haruka-kun. Don’t start remodeling the Capital on your own, alright? Some sort of a pulse was going through the streets, what are you trying to do? Also, I have no idea what you are trying to do, but you were muttering ?Kya, you perv~?, so you are definitely getting a scolding later, okay? Why are you openly releasing your mana in the middle of enemy territory infiltration, seeking some sort of ?Kya, you perv~?? That’s GUILTY for you.?
Was I saying that out loud? But ?Kya, you perv~?should’ve been permitted nationally? But Creative Work Murderers (Busybody Aunties) were throwing a fuss in an attempt to save 2D girls, so perhaps ?Kya you perv~?got banned? If anything, I’d prefer if they focused on saving 3D or some other worlds? But well, even if they got summoned to another world, they’d probably throw a fit to ban offensive magic or swords for being dangerous, and then will get their heads chewed off by kobolds, which would be an instant?thank you for the treat?, so they might as well not bother coming? I mean, kobolds probably wouldn’t want to get involved with them either?
?We are about to step into the slums, the public order seems to be a problem here, so everyone… Watch out for Haruka-kun!?
???Okaay!???
Why am I the one they are watching out for because of the public order issues? I see, so they finally realized my virtuous qualities, and are paying close attention so no harm comes to me. Although I’d pocket the stuff back from the pickpockets without allowing them to steal anything, mug back the muggers, and cut down violent fellows before anything can happen, so being a perfectly safe and secure virtuous victim, I’m sure everything should be fine? Well, the only issue is that since it’s a slum, there isn’t much chance to profit. No, if it’s a cute female pickpocket then possibly? Those dexterous fingers sound very tempting! Alright, let’s invite some. And some Beautiful Female Robber-san and Beautiful Female Slasher-san too? They definitely would be worth stripping of all possessions! Regardless of them having anything of value or not. The slums might be a lot better than I initially thought.
[TL Notes:
[1] Not the first time this title comes up. Glass Mask (Japanese: ??????, Hepburn: Garasu no Kamen) is a Japanese sh?jo manga series written and illustrated by Suzue Miuchi. As of 2006, the collected volumes had sold 50 million copies in Japan, making it the second best-selling sh?jo manga ever. The title refers poetically to the mask of faces that actors wear – while expressing emotions that are not their own, the mask they wear (their acting) is as fragile as glass. If the actors are distracted, their mask will “break” and show on stage the actors’ true feelings. So since Haruka is talking about acting ability it once again came up. “What a terrifying child” is a meme spawned by this title. Refers to a pose of shock, with eyes drawn completely white, and usually with one’s index finger placed across the chin, sometimes drawn in monochrome like manga, accompanied by background effects like lightning or flash lines, used when a character has realized the terrifying capability of somebody. Nowadays, it is used mostly for comedic effect.