A Bored Lich

Chapter 163 - The Paddle

"Are you the same Doevm that I know?" Thomas asked.

"Is that a problem?" Doevm asked, cocking his head to the side. 'What's the big deal about the Amphiboards? They are just artifacts I invented a long time ago because I didn't want to get mud in my robe as I went around this swamp and dissected the mutated creatures.'

"Usually you say..." Thomas made his face blank. His voice came out bland and raspy. "Guys cut it out or" He put on a wide grin. "Want to make a bet with powerstones?"

"Not this time," Doevm shrugged as he slowly shifted his weight from his backfoot, which was on dry soil, to the foot resting on the Amphiboard. The Amphiboard shook under the added weight but stabilized soon after. 'While I did make them, it's been centuries since I've been on one. Did I make such a clunky design, or did the mages modify it?' He put his feet shoulder width apart and bent low. When he was stable enough, he grabbed the paddle, slowly stood himself up, and stuck the paddle into the ground to keep himself from falling off.

"That's cheating!" He heard Thomas yell from behind him.

"This is how you are supposed to do it," Doevm countered, wishing he could turn around to see Thomas's dejected face. The paddle had a special end, which didn't sink in the swamps muddy ground or the bottom of its shallow water. 'It is a little harder as a heavy human but the motion is still the same.'

"I am certain that this is how you are supposed to ride this," Doevm insisted. "Just because I'm better than you guys at riding an Amphiboard doesn't mean…Hey wait!" Doevm's weight shifted forward as two hands pushed him off the Amphiboard. The paddle, his last hope for dry salvation, slipped out of his grip.

The disgusting water entered his mouth as he face planted in the swamps water. He got up, mud and moss clinging to him. He glared at Thomas, who was trying not to laugh. "You dare talk about cheating when you just shove me off like a filthy…cheater."

"Oh come on," Thomas said. "You were never one to go by the rules. As far back as I can remember, you bent the rules in any game we played, like when we…" He stopped and creased his brows. "When we…" he mumbled. "Arm wrestled? Did that happen?" He scratched the side of his head. "I just got a weird sense of déjà vu. But nonetheless, you used a paddle. That is absolutely cheating since neither Frey nor I used one. Isn't that right Frey?" Thomas crossed his arms as Frey nodded.

Doevm slogged back to relatively dry ground and lay his paddle back on the Amphiboard. "Elero, what do you say about this? Back me up against these jesters."

"I…um…think you should not have used a paddle." Elero stuttered. "That was a bit unfair since they did not know they should have used one. Please just call me Miss Mech if you don't mind."

'Crap,' Doevm thought. 'I forgot that she doesn't recognized me without my mask.' He got to shore and bowed. Frey and Thomas were throwing accusing looks his way. "I am sorry Miss Mech," Doevm dusted off his respectful commoner voice. However, that made her look away from him and turned Frey's and Thomas's looks into glares. 'I don't understand,' he thought. 'I committed an error and apologized for it. Why does it seem that the air got more awkward? I need a distraction.' He pulled back his foot and wrapped it in a bit of life essence.

"Hey," Frey said. "This isn't the time to fight."

"I know," Doevm said before he kicked the surface of the water, splashing both Thomas and Frey with a pillar of water. "I just wanted some revenge on two idiots. Now we're good. Get on the Amphiboard and try to stay on it this time." Doevm stepped back onto his Amphiboard without using the paddle. While it shook by a little, he remained balanced. "Like this. Now you have nothing to complain about but your own loss."

"Show off," Thomas huffed before stepping onto his own Amphiboard again. This time, he took each step slow, and the Amphiboard barely shook. "Relax your body," he mumbled to himself. "just like Jameson taught me. Space my feet equally distant apart from the center and shoulder width apart."

He put his feet on the board and crouched down, waiting for the shaking to go away before he stood up. He opened his eyes and, while he wobbled a little, he was almost as stable as Doevm. "See, that wasn't so hard. I could do it without the paddle too." He looked back at Frey. "Unlike him."

"Really?" Frey cocked an eyebrow. "It looked like you just went through an entire flashback before stepping onto that board. Meanwhile…" Frey stepped onto his own Amphiboard, and in a few moments, stood up as stable as both Doevm and Frey.

"Ok I guess it's a tie then." Thomas shrugged. "We all did two attempts and succeeded in the same amount of time."

"No," Frey said as he crossed his arms. "I took way less time than you. In addition, you had more time to think about how you should stand. I think I win."

Before Doevm could butt in, Elero piped up. "Actually," she said as she stepped onto her own Amphiboard like it was no different from solid ground. The Amphiboard barely shifted around. "I think I win this one." Frey's and Thomas's eyes went wide. "I think this makes me the Marsh queen," She gave a halfhearted smile as she placed some leaves on top of her head. Doevm, Frey, and Thomas burst out laughing, causing Thomas and Frey to lose balance and fall. "Ok maybe that joke was a little stale. I'm not used to jokes."

"That was probably the worst joke I've ever heard," Frey said as he got up. "and that's considering Doevm once tried to pun. But this competition would actually make you the swamp queen instead of the marsh queen. Marshes are just wetlands with a bunch of plants and small shrubs. Think of swamps like a wetland in a forest." He pointed out towards the many trees in the distance. "Also, I recognize the type of tree."

"Frey." Frey turned around to find that both Doevm and Thomas had gone pale. Their mouths were agape. "Is there something wrong with you? Is it going to snow tomorrow?"

"Shut up," Frey splashed them. "I always loved exploring, ever since I was a kid. My grandfather told me all about the various places he went. I just wanted to go but never got the chance until now, when I was forced to leave Gwen behind."

'Forced?' Doevm thought. "Then how come you didn't foam at the mouth when we got to the front lines? Oh wait," he smirked. "You were too busy pissing your p-" Doevm ducked as a paddle flew over his head. He remained crouched for a while, trying to keep the Amphiboard, which had just inadvertently rocked, stable. "But seriously, you never left your house on your own accord?" Doevm asked. "Even for a little bit?"

"Well," Frey scratched the back of his head. "I only ever got as far as the edge of the woods, where we later slew the lava boar. After that…I couldn't leave. I don't blame her for getting pricked. I just wish I could have been there. But that'll change in the future."

Doevm stepped off his Amphiboard and retrieved Frey's paddle for him. "And what do you plan to do for the rest of your life after we are done with the academy?"

"Go back to her of course," Frey said with a smile. "If she ever needs me, I'll be there."

Doevm frowned. "Did you plan on ever going away from the Virilit-" he stopped himself. "Exploring? It is what you want to do, right?"

Frey shook his head. "Even if I didn't have Gwen, I wouldn't want to spend my life exploring. I need a purpose, and she is it."

"You know that you're allowed to do what you want." Doevm insisted as he held out Frey's paddle. Frey pulled at the paddle but Doevm held tight onto it. "Are you sure about what you want?"

"I'm fine," Frey scowled as he yanked the paddle away. "Grandpa always said that I should be there for my family, and seeing as she is all I have left, I will be by her side. I don't want to leave her." As he turned away, he muttered. "Not after what happened to her the last time."

"Are both of you good?" Thomas asked, walking between them with a pale face and a nervous chuckle. "Come on. I know we are all a little antsy but we should keep calm before a battle. It is one of the few things I remember Jameson talking about."

"We're fine," Doevm and Frey both responded.