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Chapter 66.2: If Only I Had Tried Harder Part 2
Chapter 66.2: If Only I Had Tried Harder Part 2
Chapter 66.2: If Only I Had Tried Harder Part 2
Lorraine flinched, her entire body trembling.
Then, as if she had come to a decision, she nodded slowly.
“Alright… I’ll take it… I-I’ll heal quickly anyway…”
“...”
I stared at her, a strange emptiness settling in my chest.
If this were any other day, I would have applauded her for being the heroine and all.
But today, it just felt… wrong.
Like I had actually become the villain.
And not in a cool, edgy way.
I let out a sigh and released Allen, letting him slump to the ground at Lorraine’s feet.
“I made sure to avoid any vital areas,” I said.
“What…?”
“He’ll be fine with a bit of your healing magic. There won’t even be any scars.”
“R-right…”
“Tell him something for me when he wakes up.”
I turned to leave, my steps unsteady.
Then, with a voice filled with a mixture of emotions I couldn’t even begin to unravel, I spoke.
“...Tell him to stay out of my sight for a while.”
The process, the result, the feeling…
This entire day had been a complete and utter shitshow.
***
As evening approached, the sky turned a dull gray.
I didn’t return to the dormitory, even though it was getting late.
I didn’t have a particular reason.
I just… wanted to be alone.
I found myself sitting on a bench in the park where Master’s funeral had been held.
“...”
I couldn’t feel my body.
Or maybe I just didn’t want to.
The heavy weight of exhaustion settled over me, a strange comfort in its emptiness.
I took a drag from the Deathweed cigarette I had lit, the acrid smoke curling from my lips.
My hand throbbed with a dull ache.
I looked down at my bruised knuckles, the sensation of hitting Allen’s face flashing before my eyes.
My arm trembled slightly as I rubbed my temples.
-Ding!
[Are you alright?]
The sudden mechanical sound startled me.
I didn’t answer the status window’s question.
Instead, I muttered, “What do you think?”
-Ding!
[What are you referring to?]
“What happened earlier… was I too harsh?”
-Ding!
[This system believes the situation to be too complex to make a judgment.]
“Yeah, well… I wasn’t really looking for an answer anyway.”
I ran a hand through my hair, a humorless laugh escaping my lips.
My vision blurred as I let out a shaky breath.
As I sat there, slumped over like a deflated balloon, the status window spoke up again.
-Ding!
[Your mental state appears to be unstable.]
“I told you, I’m fine.”
-Ding!
[You should be honest with your emotions. Avoiding them will only make things worse.]
“You really don’t know when to quit, do you…?”
I shook my head, a tired smile playing on my lips.
The status window continued to pester me, its relentless barrage of notifications wearing down my already frayed nerves.
Defeated, I finally gave in.
“Fine, fine… I’m not okay. Happy now? Just leave me alone.”
The words left my mouth before I could stop them, carried away by the wind.
I took a deep breath and continued, my voice barely above a whisper.
“The truth is… Allen’s words got to me.”
Because a part of me had started to believe them.
Could Master’s death really be my fault?
His death had been clearly foreshadowed in the original story.
When Allen was in his third year, he received news of Master’s passing from a close faculty member.
If the original story was anything to go by, Master should have been safe for at least another two years.
But…
“...the original story has changed. And Master is gone.”
And I was the one who changed it.
I still didn’t know what I had done wrong, but I knew that my actions had altered the course of the story.
“Maybe Allen’s right. Maybe Master really did die because of me.”
I thought I was doing my best.
But was it really enough?
Could I have saved him if I had tried harder?
-Ding!
[You have already saved hundreds of thousands of lives.]
[If you hadn’t protected the princess during the attack on the ball, the Empire would have fallen into chaos.]
[And during this field trip, you stopped the undead army and saved countless students.]
“I don’t know…” I mumbled, my voice hollow.
The status window’s words of comfort rang hollow in my ears.
A bitter smile touched my lips, tasting like ash from the Deathweed.
“I miss Master… He would have told me I was doing a good job.”
I stared out at the empty park, a familiar ache in my chest.
The sky had turned completely dark, the stars twinkling faintly above.
I felt like I was drowning in the silence, the weight of my grief pulling me under.
Just as I closed my eyes, ready to surrender to the darkness, I heard a voice.
“It’s not your fault, Raiden…!”
The sound of my name, spoken with such tenderness, startled me.
I looked up, my heart skipping a beat.
“Your Highness…?”
Standing before me, her eyes filled with tears, was Lucy.
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