Chapter 464: A Good Deed a Day, Sends the Guilt Away.
Chapter 464: A Good Deed a Day, Sends the Guilt Away.
Chapter 464: A Good Deed a Day, Sends the Guilt Away.
Quartz Regen.
I wrote that name into my party bracelets note function, using it as the title for Masters custom spell for me. A combination of [White Flames] and [Corrosive Fire] split into two magic circles to create a custom spell which utilizes both of my two empty vessels traits. Master really was ingenious, and the idea made sense now that he taught me about the multi-amplification mana circle method.
Still, his notes only really showed me how to mix the two flames into a single spell, but the creation and usage of it was still left in my hands. He didnt want me to stop thinking, after all. Haa, still, it would have saved me so much time if he did fill it out more.
I designed [Sun, Consume All] for my white flames and [Hydra] for my purple flames as the ultimate embodiment of those two fires; now what could I do if I combined them together using all the knowledge I had obtained over my nearly two years of fighting in Peolynca? Well, that was the question and the most important thing for me right now.
The mud tsunami issue only made me more aware of my weaknesses. I could fly as fast as a plane with my rocket boosters, and [Flash Fire] made that speed into a pseudo-teleportation skill. That was my top speed, but it was restricted by the fact I required a fire source for it to activate. A target, much like shadows for Saoris [Shadow Dash].
That was my answer but the question was how should I create it? What would its use be in my arsenal of spells? If I couldnt solve that question, then it wouldnt be worth making a new spell.
Enough for now
It was the morning after the funeral and I was inside my room, writing down some notes before I got too antsy about everything that happened. It really got me thinking about how song writing, spell creation, and just plain old Belzac habits really calmed me down during my new life.
Every time something emotionally challenging happened, my first instinct was to cope by going to my hobbies. Activities that were not related to my issues but would benefit me in the long run. Belzac habits was really just another way of saying training, really. Or studying poison or eating rocks I shivered a bit when I remembered eating rocks and having a stomach ache the next day, only to realize I was eating poison and spitting out molten rocks nearly every day now.
It was fun reminiscing, although I did wish these memories were more therapeutic, but life wasnt so easy. If my mind was so focused on having fun, then I wouldnt be tapping my feet as if I was in the middle of a sugar crash, I wouldnt be scratching my head as if I had hair lice, and I definitely wouldnt be having so much trouble being happy.
Depression Great. Maybe its time to actually think of that goth outfit.
In any case, now ready for the morning, I stood up and walked over to my sleeping mother to give her a kiss on her forehead. I then went over to Beth and woke her up, causing us to jump up from her sleeping bag, snapping her head around, almost as alarmed as if we were in a battle. She looked at me, lowering her tail in embarrassment.
[I-I apologize! I should have woken up earlier,] she said, sheepishly.
Dont worry, I didnt sleep long. I really couldn't.
Since Beth and Shay had been guarding Moms sleeping body whenever they could, I decided to just add a sleeping bag for the both of them in my room. I didnt have enough space to add a bed, and I wasnt willing to ruin my decorations by expanding the room, so this was the compromise. A bit rude, but I felt too lazy to do anything about it.
In any case, I walked out of my room with her and went to the bathroom, where I wondered if people might think it weird that I wasnt in the basilica at this point. Did I even want to go back? After being glared and insulted cause I was saving the lower city? Of course, I would, purely out of spite at this point which proved, I wasnt in the right mindset and shouldnt return now.
Lady Hestia, good morning! Haati greeted me as she was cleaning the bathroom and hot spring area. Morning bath or just morning necessities?
Necessities. Could you have our breakfast ready, please?
She stiffened up and gave me a thumbs up, swinging her tail around in an excited manner. Awesome! Priscilla is already working hard, so please dont take too long! Ill tell her to make it extra hearty! Oh, and if you want to take a break, we can always go back to Griffonpeak. I was too embarrassed and ashamed to recommend this really good eatery since its in the lower city, but if you want, we could go there.
I smiled, happy to see her being so comfortable around me now. It has been a while since I met and hired her as a maid, although she was originally just meant to be a waitress. With how little our restaurant has been open, however, having her become a real maid was the only way to keep paying her salary. Not to mention, Svenna and Tasianna had been training her since the start.
After my morning routine, I went to the diner and had my breakfast, enjoying the moment of peace, although it felt pretty lonely as nobody was inside. Most everybody did return to Aureolis. While the fighting had ended, there was still much to do within the city, for example removing all that mud around the city.
Speaking about mud, I felt pretty speechless at how destructive it was. It was just mud, after all, and since our party never had encountered a strong mudmancer before, I never really thought of how powerful it was. I should have, since it was part of the four standard composite elements. Suffocation, trapping, pressurized beams like water, but what surprised me the most was how swift he was by moving underground, as if he was a land shark.
How do I beat that? I cant spread my Territory fast enough to catch somebody like that, similar to my fight with Vifi.
At the core of the issue was the number of people inside the city. I could go all out as I did against Vifi, but that required a space where I could do so without causing excessive collateral damage. The ends only justify the means up to a certain point; a line I had decided a long time ago.
[Symphonie des Feuergottes] and [Solar Beam] were still in the back of my arsenal, and if I hadnt been forced to fight in two battlefields at the same time, the damage the Warbringer could have done to the city would be less. Still, with [Draconian Sunlight Edge] and the set up I did, I still landed a pretty crippling blow to the guy. Could he recover in time? Even if he could, he shouldnt have the healing capabilities that Aurora had.
Whoever fought him next would not need my help to kill him. I wish I had the foresight of injecting some venom into him to hurt him even further. It probably wouldnt kill him if he was anywhere as sturdy as Vifi, but itd still help.
Then again, he hadnt even used his Original Sin ability yet, so that was in no way a deciding battle. If he had, the situation would have These demonkin are living rent free in my head.
Analyzing and reflecting on myself. How productive
I let out a deep sigh once I was done eating, before doing some breathing practices. The inhaled air refreshed my cells, creating a small warmth inside my chest that felt more comfortable than the heat emanating from my sun core. I then stared at the ceiling, closed my eyes before gripping my hands together.
Rage. That anger from yesterday had finally returned, darkening my mood as I couldnt think of anything else but to end this battle with the Prince of Envy. I wanted to destroy him so much that I couldnt keep myself restrained any longer.
Svena, is the cardinal awake? I asked, to which my maid frowned. She sighed before nodding.
He woke up last night after you retired, my lady. But then Saori injected him with one of your torpor venoms, so he should be asleep, but well Would you like us to bring him some food?
I nodded. I wasnt inhumane.
As she prepared his breakfast, I quickly returned to Aureolis and noted I was inside my room in the basilica, making me wonder what happened to Saori, only to notice Shay sitting next to my [Room] entrance. He was sleeping but the moment he noticed me, he woke up, slightly groggy. After I handed him some fulinoe tea and breakfast, I asked him how early it was.
[Before eighth bell, my lady.]
Morning sermon is over.
I grabbed the runes and the twins and I departed, seeking Thedore and Fleindia. Outside, though, I found it pretty hectic, as numerous grey-robes were readying wagons, filling them up with what looked like bedrolls, dried fish and meat, and healing potions. A few white-robes were ordering them around, with Fleindia seemingly being the leader.
As I approached them, Fleindia waved at me. We exchanged the usual pleasantries between priests before she answered what she was doing.
Ive received permission to begin the relief effort. Some of the knights managed to dig a few of the houses out, but there is still much to do. The tools were delivered yesterday, so we will create some temporary residentials today, she smiled, almost looking like she was about to ask me something. Are you all right? Saori did assure me you would appear, but I had my doubts. You seemed so defeated.
I scratched my neck, frowning a bit. I had my chance and I lost it after the fight and yesterday. Spent it like a kid. Now it is time to be an adult, which brings me to why Im here. Do you want to join the questioning?
She tilted her head. Questioning? Ah! I see I cant, I apologize. I already agreed to this and considering the situation, it would be better if I joined the effort and worked to uplift the peoples spirits. Lady Hestia, considering you were the person who saved them, I would love it if you would come.
We need information, I stated, plainly.
Fleindias smile vanished, turning into a poker face as she looked at me. She waited for a bit, looking back at her entourage, before shaking her head. The citizens have demanded for you.
It can wait, we need to ask the questions now. You should come with me as this concerns you just as much.
No. I understand we have all the reasons to rush, but we are Saintesses, our duty is also to the people. We are the Goddesss mortal representatives, and considering the deaths that happened, we need to do this! Together.
I am not a Saintess. Even this priestess role is getting tiresome, you know. In fact, this whole priestess stuff? I didnt even want it, Aurena placed it on me for no apparent reason despite how unqualified I am!
Hestia! Fleindia raised her voice. Dont try to undermine your own qualifications here! It doesnt matter how you received the role, because you act exactly how someone in my role should act. Who cares about the technicalities if all youve done is correct! You might not be a Saintess in title, but you kept calling your Idol role as a combination between Saint and Champion. You are a Saintess by your own admission!
I clicked my tongue, feeling funky in my head. I shouldnt have said all of that. Just brings all these undue expectations for me. Im just my own worst enemy here, so let me just say that
No! She interrupted me. No, I will not. I understand your grief all too well. That longing for somebody lost forever to Goddess Death is well known to me. If you are currently in this mindset, dont even think about doing an interrogation. I would rather you linger in your bed or inside the hotspring, simply healing like a patient. You are hurt. Not physically, but spiritually.
Shes right.
I jerked back when I suddenly felt somebodys hand touch my shoulder. When I calmed down and looked who it was, I noticed it was Neill, which made me chastise myself for being too jumpy. I looked around, noticing Tasianna was with her.
Morning, I said, but only the latter reciprocated my greeting. Neill, on the other hand, looked annoyed.
Everybody heard you. She shook her head, shaking her wild hair around. Saoris already handling it because of your damn mouth, so be grateful. Come on, lets go.
She then turned me around, pushing me forward. I asked her to stop, even putting some strength in to stop myself, but Neill began using her full force, literally grabbing me by the waist and pulling me up under her arms.
Youre listening to your elder scales today, brat. We have an entire city to help out, and Ellaine wont be able to do this alone as the sole earth mage from our group! She then threw me on one of the wagons, right on the coachman seat of the tools-reserved one. Was she thinking of me as a bulldozer or what? Fleindia, Ive changed my mind. Im coming with you.
Thank you! Fleindia smiled before returning to the other white-robes.
Neill told me she had some people to talk to before taking off, leaving Tasianna to guard me. She sat next to me, bowing to me before apologizing that she couldnt prepare my morning tea. I groaned, feeling a bit annoyed that nobody was listening to me.
Princess Fargryneill is only worried about you, my lady. Everybody is, Tasianna said.
I figured, but No, this is exactly how Neill would act. Uurgh, Im getting a headache already. I massaged my temples, causing Tasianna to giggle. Haaa, okay, good mindset. Good mentality. Where are the others? What did I miss?
Tasianna summarized the situation for me, beginning with the two announcements I had missed in the last two days. First, the Knight-Commander would be taking over most of the state managerial duties thanks to the Vicars injuries, while the five remaining cardinals took over the clerical parts.
There were some heated arguments yesterday concerning my role in everything, especially with some even complaining that I had done nothing, only for the Knight-Commander to vouch that I had personally fought the Warbringer. People doubted this statement, and since everybody who could speak up was at the funeral, my reputation just tanked once again.
I, honestly, couldnt care less about them. Admittedly, hearing from Fleindia the lower city citizens wanted to see me, though, was pretty heartwarming, assuring me my decision to help them over the priests was the correct choice. What did it matter if my clerical support was minimal if the populace knows what I did?
Furthermore, those who already supported me due to Fleindia, Theodore, or my own actions these past days didnt buy into any of the propaganda. They were also the ones helping the relief effort. This created a divide in the priesthoods ranks according to Tasianna, with the mood tensing up. The temporary shrine maidens and caretakers especially had personally spoken to the citizens about what happened, reporting thating multiple people testified seeing Crimson dragon, Champion Hestia, and holy Goddesss flames.
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Tatsuya and the others went ahead, while Asaka remained in the miracle room. The basilicas clinic. She was coerced into it by the clergy, which I must say was the product by her own actions. Her swift actions during the crisis led to many favoring her, despite being Goddess Ilsaphones Saintess.
Renee stayed with Asaka as her bodyguard, while all the members of the Sin Heir of Envy battle returned there to escort the injured knights back home. They had to act as if I didnt have an obvious teleportation method just so we didnt have to explain everything to those not in the know.
Speaking of the knights, I did take the time to heal them on the day of the funeral, even soothing those who were affected by Yaldaboath. It was sickening, honestly. These proud, albeit rude and abrasive, adults were all reduced to mere children once the Original Sin ability was activated. Aside from the torturous methods you could use with it, the envy demonkin could legitimately extract memories and information from a persons soul before killing them.
Some spoke about their broken youth romances, a minority exposed their familys shady dealings and how they wanted to atone by becoming knights, while a good number revealed their inner secrets. My emotions ranged from pity, to cringe, and sometimes even to disgust as I acted as an open ear to them, yet I couldnt be angry at them. Everybody had secrets and it was clear some never wanted their trauma or locked memories to resurface.
Like Yorshkas friend, that Kirstine woman. Yorshka had spoken to her so fondly, trying to make peace, but Kirstine just backstabbed Yorshka in return by calling her a beastman. Id felt angry on Yorshkas behalf back then, but when I heard how she pleaded for the life of her sister, it just made me understand the situation better. Yorshka said her parents died against Carmaniate while her sister was killed by beastmen How did all of that begin? It didnt matter, but I knew why she despised beastmen.
Similarly to when I told the people from Elyonda how not every beastmen was evil, I had to accept some simply had terrible experiences with beastmen that shaped their prejudices. Their children, parents, or siblings died against them during the war. It was life. It just made me wonder what was influencing Royce and his companions.
As I was thinking through all of this while chatting with Tasianna, I hadnt even realized the wagons were already moving. Being scatterbrained was something I very rarely did. I was making so many weird mistakes even with my parallel minds that I was starting to remember how similar I was feeling to when I woke up after the Griffonpeak battle. I was just feeling weird.
Aside from my own worries, I felt even more depressed when we entered the lower city and all I could see was brown. Mud, everywhere. It had flooded one portion of the city and, due to the sun beating down upon it this past day, it had hardened up, turning it stone hard. Even knocking on it made the same dull sound as hitting a rock.
Even after a day, they hadnt finished cleaning it up yet. Werent there earth and wind mages around? Why werent they doing anything? Were the people they got that weak they couldnt get rid of this stain? I didnt know, but thinking like this made me feel so harsh.
Revenge? I jerked my head up, looking to the side to see Neill had rejoined us and taken a seat. She pointed at her head.
I nodded. She saw through me.
I sighed. Been like this the entire morning. Cant stop thinking about it.
Even if you arent being motivated by anything else, you need to stop and think about the whole situation. Taking down some enemy wont solve every single problem. What if you had killed the Warbringer? You would still have to deal with this, so just think of it as a mandatory act, Neill said.
Tasianna nodded. Aside from that, revenge really shouldnt be your only thought, my lady. It never leads to anything good, am I not right?
Hearing her say that caused me to giggle, remembering too well how I used to lecture her on the same matter. She, for the good of her soul, gave up revenge when she reached the final step. She did not forgive the person, accepting that anger would only continue consuming her life if she gave in to killing Reajaen. There was even that illusion mage, Talon, who died to resolve his vengeance.
Letting those thoughts permeate through me as the wagon kept rocking up and down from traversing this uneven landscape, I couldnt help but keep thinking about the Prince of Envy. Am I stupid to want them to just come at us again? Avoid all this hiding and subterfuge and attack us again, despite everything that happened?
Neill shook her head. Wouldnt that be the best? The prey coming to the hunter is something all of us wish for, my little sister; it would make life so much easier, but I guess others enjoy the chase,Sis wrapped her arms around her back and looked to the clear, bright skyYou know, I overheard what you said to Saori and Melloxtressa. Loud, like most whelps.
Oh shut it! I blushed, showing her a self-deprecating smile. Go ahead and remind me of that. Embarrass me in front of everybody here. They arent beastmen but they still have good ears, you know.
Haha, still able to make a joke? She then ruffled my hair before tapping her unicorn horn against my left horn. With a fat grin, she continued. I know youre angry. Furious, filled with wrath, yet you have to control it. You made a mistake, but I dont need to tell you to learn to never do it again. We cant get ambushed like that again, you know? Akasht died, but we didnt, and at this moment we have to worry about the living.
For example, have you spoken with Lord Amadeus yet, my lady? Tasianna asked, causing me to widen my eyes.
Oh Scheie!
In all my doom and gloom, I had actually forgotten about one of my friends here. Before I shot up, Tasianna asked me to not worry, stating he was fine. In fact, he was in the town helping with the relief effort with Bishop Rasheid. Sighing in relief, I fell back on my seat, feeling terrible at myself.
Neill, noticing this, looked at me with perplexion, unsure about herself. She then tapped my shoulder, trying to comfort me.
Im sorry I just wanted to tell you that you shouldnt feel like its entirely your fault for his death. After all, we all chose to help you. I might have told you that I was helping you because Im your older sister, but if you were actually insane, like our other siblings, I wouldnt have.
Then why?
I used the sister reason as an excuse. Half-truth, but I wasnt being earnest. You remember when you said, My friends mentioned how I looked extremely scary to others. Im worried That struck a nerve. Neill stroked her horn. I was jealous that you wanted others to see you in your dragon form, but that you were scared they would end up like the people around here. I didnt want anybody to see me in my kirin-dragon form at all, because I dont want anybody to flee in disgust or ridicule me.
I nodded, reminded about our first meeting in Elyonda. I guess I can understand that now.
I saw the fear in everybodys eyes when I first transformed inside the lower city. Sure, I earned their trust, but the first look they gave me remained in my memory. To us dragon sisters, we had to ascend a steep cliff to earn the humans trust and respect as dragonkin.
No, you dont, Sis rebuked. You dont understand the extent of it. Your issue is that you think of it like a public figure, that it would ruin your career. You dont hate your true form. I did, and I still do because I dont look like a dragon. Like you, like our siblings, like our father. Not even like my fellow kirins. I share similarities with all of you, but Im still fundamentally different in appearance from all of you. Its not special. It's worse than that.
My face twitched as I heard those heart-filled words from Sis, disappointed in myself for choosing the wrong words. I knew that. I should have. I knew Siss feelings but Thinking back about it, my fear really only appeared when it concerned being an idol. If I couldnt make humans feel comfortable around me, how was I supposed to work around them?
I didnt want people to associate Hestia Atsuko to a dragon, hiding my real identity up to Griffonpeak when Eshe died and when I understood I couldnt hold back against the enemy threatening the city. I never was afraid of turning into a dragon to fight, I was afraid of the possible dragonslayers and the ensuing reputation loss.
Sis continued. However, even if our reasons and true fears were different at the end of the day, I still felt happy being able to talk to you about it. Renee and I never went into such an in-depth talk, we mostly talked about issues with our countries and fighting. Thats why I chose you over her, even if I think Im closer to her than you.
Hearing that made me almost want to chuckle. I couldnt hide my smile.
Seeing me like this, Sis nodded, content. This is my choice of who I think needs me more; who I think can help me get over myself better. If you were just my sister, I would have just shown some sisterly love and we probably would have parted. My goal, as I said, has always been to make my name known to the world. Being here right now slows that down, because you are the one whose name will be known. You are Champion Hestia, a blessed. People know you more than they do me. Look.
She pointed at the clergy people and knights riding with us. They were gossiping about me, instead of Sis. All I could hear was Champion this and Lady Hestia that. They stared at me. Not to mention the countless citizens we drove by, cheering and thanking me for rescuing them or somebody they loved or knew.
You showed your dragon form to people, and that means they have you in mind. Your concerts bring you in the center of focus. Meanwhile, what do I do? Help out and train, nothing that I really want to do like do a rank A Quest. Sis, we both made it to rank A compared to so many others, but while you are doing something for Aurena, I am just your helper. People will remember me as such, too. Yet, I am fine with it because you are happy. It might sound cheesy, but you being happy makes me happy.
She sighed, looking exhausted. That is why it isnt your fault. Akasht was a warrior like the other saurians, and they knew exactly what they got themselves into. Kushlekzar told you thatI eavesdropped a lot, sorryand that giant did his best in his last moments to do what we all wanted. One of our objectives is done, now its time to find that things owner.
Dying is not winning. I will never accept that. He is gone, Neill, and I cant think of any positives beyond that. Even Eshes sacrifice still aches my heart, even if I knew she did it to defend people. They are both gone. Forever. If you suddenly died tomorrow, then thats it. The memories we made together would end just there and I cant take that factHuh?
As our argument was starting to get heated, a dome of wind was suddenly erected over us, silencing our voices to the people outside. We both looked around, flabbergasted, before we stopped at a smiling Tasianna.
Tasianna? We dont need to worry about
As I stare into the sky, I wonder what happened that day
It was bright, so bright, my dazzling dreams; It pains me, to think of them
I sealed my tears, sadness into a mask, how could I be so blind to theirs
Oh, by chance, I wish a second try, but now, that chance is gone.
Neill? My eyes widened. My sister was singing.
W-well, it was some sorta singing. Since I last asked her to sing for me in Elyonda, my sister hadnt made a single improvement on it at all. She was still off-tuned, she couldnt keep herself in rhythm, and if I wasnt the songs writer I wouldnt have recognized its melody at all. At least it seemed like she was giving it her all this time as it sounded less like her speaking voice.
It was jarring but I felt her emotions.
Instead, everything was changed
I could have cast my past into flames
But my memories remained, I couldnt fail; their hopes for me, I will hold to my heart!
Like a soaring star, I will fly
Through this darkness, my light will never fade
Even in the darkest hours, this smile will always stay
This promise etched to my eternal soul!
As if reality can break my wings
Defy all, keep your eyes on the prize
For this single chance in life, I will stand tall and proud
Let the world hear my voieezzzzze!
Krrrk! My entire body vibrated in pain. That shrill, blackboard scratching voice crack from Neill made me feel like I was on the other side of a [Draconic Roar].
Once she was done, she looked at me expectantly, awaiting an answer. My face twitched, unable to keep up a poker face.
You learned the song. You didnt read it. Yet, the pain was nothing compared to the meaning behind Neills action. You memorized the song, the melody, and mimicked how I usually sing it. Neill I-I thought you hated singing.
My sister shrugged, looking red before thanking Tasianna for the soundproof barrier. Once she was done massaging her temples she looked at me. Singing what I wanted to say is easier than finding the words to what I wanted to say.
My mouth quivered and I felt like I wanted to cry. Music is the art of touching the souls of thousands to empower and heal them. Thats my motto when it comes to my career. You you were terrible. Absolute horrendous and you should really get some singing lessons but, dammit.
Neill erupted in a boisterous laugh, hiding her flush before she pointed at Tasianna. Neither of us planned this. Kargryxmors oath. Yet, I understood what she wanted me to do. Saori immediately went to the cardinal, correctly guessing why you were here. You know why?
I thought her words through before I linked together everything those three had in common. One word.
Its because we are family, Sis said, prompting me to nod. Aurora arent your blood relativesaside from Saoribut you consider them yours because they guided you through everything. Maybe its different with Ellaine and Grimnir since they came a year after your birth, but I know you consider Saori and Tasianna part of it. They would do anything for you, and you would do the same for them.
You learned that long song just for me
She then turned around, crossing her arms. You can mourn and regret your decisions that led to Akashts death. Saori did too when we ate this morning. Everybody deserves some time to grieve, but what is important is that you dont fall into its pits. Learn from your mistakes, be less naive in the future, but dont let those unhealthy emotions and thoughts control you like they did me. Sloth, gluttony, lust, greed, wrath, envy, and pride; dont let a single one stifle your growth. Dont let your wrath cloud you before you continue your steps forward.
Dont skip a step, right. Right. Why was I born a dragon princess?
Connections.
That was why Aurena chose to reborn me as a dragon princess. It was to have a proper foundation to bring people towards me with songs. The dwarves, elves, dragonewts, levianewts, and dragons; bring them all together to help the humans rebuild Aurenas church by ridding the blight within it. I didnt have to personally rebuild it, as I could leave the rest to Fleindia and such. With that, my Divine Quest would be done. Except
Sadly, Saori, you are wrong. Cleansing Aureolis isnt the only goal. I have to remove the blight of her churchher religion. Even if Aureolis is rid of the demonkin, there will still be the Empire and the Holy Emperor of Mankind.
Only after that would I be able to travel the world and be slothful. Only then could I live how I want What kinda deal did I get myself into? I underestimated the scale, just as Neill said.
In addition, the rest of Aurora must become stronger as well. They may continue to go down their current road or they may ask for the help of my elders. Oh, Aurena I havent gotten to talk to you in so long and Ive forgotten your words to me. Your tips. Saori received Ednas help while Grimnir got Chihiro. I couldnt forget Master with Xohulotel and Asaka with Ilsaphone and what she was doing right now.
Akashts death was my fault. That was something I believed wholeheartedly, since as the leader who brought everybody along, I had to take responsibilities. What sorta friend wouldnt? I wanted to enact revenge for him but Neill was right that all I could think of was to get everything over with. Did the clergy around me really fear me cause of my personality or cause of the actions I did the day before?
I stormed into the Vicars room without any notice, punching and kicking him all while forgetting to establish a [Air Shield] to block his cries. The Commander attempted to stop the rumors, but people heard me. I devastated his room and bathroom, destroying what I could with his face.
Their fear was a consequence of me losing my cool. What were they thinking now? It felt so hard to smile, so I could understand why everybody wanted to avoid me.
I cant stop thinking about it, but I will try. I concluded from reflecting on my actions and the words of everybody. Im sorry, Sis.
Im not telling you to stop. Its just like when you had issues with your gluttony; his death triggered your sloth and gluttony and made you want to give up. The safety cushion that is our slothto find contentment with ourselves to allow us to be happyfailed because you couldnt stop. You have to move forward; you told yourself that! That is when sloth will fail and your [Battle Frenzy] will take hold of you.
To become slothful is to suppress the urge to fight, to realize that the world is more than just conflict. In the face of our unbridled rage, it is to remind ourselves that our happiness can be lost if we neglect our own well-being. Now I was remembering what Kramps told me when he taught me how to control my [Battle Frenzy]. My fear for my friends led into my gluttony.
I remembered. My gluttonywhat I needed to survivewere relationships with others. That was why Akashts and Eshes death felt so impactful since I lost the chance to continue them. Mother being asleep is stealing that chance as well.
I finally understood. Sloth and gluttony.
I took a deep breath, calming myself and thinking about Kramps and Neill, reminding myself of what they told me. I stepped back from the issues on hand and looked at the situation with a birds eye view, before telling myself to look at the silhouettes in the distance. My friends, my family, and my allies. Everybody who was here to help me.
My actions had consequences and it couldnt be taken back. Yet, if I gave up now and walked off the path to success, I would only make everything worse. To fear and to be paranoid of the losses would only ensure that I would lose them. A self-fulfilling choice.
Im sorry, I repeated.
Come on, no need to say it again. She then patted me on the back, prompting Tasianna to open the [Air Shield]. Actions speak louder than words. Lets start with this mess.
I obeyed and the relief effort began. After we reached the camp, I greeted everybody, looking about to see if Amadeus was around. As Tasianna said, he was there and my heart calmed down enough for me to feel pumped up. I wanted to help!
Leaving the clinic to others, I joined Ellaine and Nishio as we started cleaning everything up using our earth magic. Adding in some magmakinesis with everything, we managed to clean up a good portion of the city but required a second day to get rid of the rest. In addition, mages from inside Aureolis had also arrived, so the reconstruction work began on the same day.
On the third day, the city was starting to return to normalcy, as the streets were cleaned of all mud, the paving was rebuilt quickly with magic, and architects coordinated everything. If this was Earth, it probably would have required two months to reach the housing stage. Magic was just incredible.
Magic was it a newfound love for it or was I reminded of how beautiful it was? Spells that were destroyed were plentiful, but being able to use all those aggressive spells to create was so much more satisfying. Being responsible for making others happy was the best.
I felt proud about myself. Two days had passed and the thought of fighting hadnt crossed my mind, but it also helped that the shadow pack we're constantly looking out for any enemies. In fact, we managed to capture two and hand them over to the Knight-Commander.
Yet, all of this had to end sadly, as the time had come. In the three days Saori took care of the cardinal, she finally managed to help him through the torture our enemies caused him. At least, enough to function. In addition, Yorshka returned with Royce and his knights.