Chapter 1: GOODBYE!
Chapter 1: GOODBYE!
Chapter 1: GOODBYE!
The chime for lunch, that was the signal to start the bullying. Saeki came to push me around today as well.
Yo, Hidaka go buy me some juice.
Reddish hair, cross piece earrings, and a button up shirt open at the neck. Thats Saeki.
Hey, while youre at it get some for me too Hidaka.
This, is Kida, Saekis lackie. He doesnt have any piercings but he has an uncultured appearance similar to Saeki with orange dyed hair and a long neckline.
Around this time every day these two use me for their own convenience.
Sure, is it alright if its carbonated?
What am I saying, is it alright if its carbonated. I ask myself why Im being considerate of how they feel. Saying something like that is testimony to the fact that slavery has become ingrained into me. However, this is all just idle complaints, I dont actually say any of this out loud.
This is my every day.
Since the day I entered highschool, up until now, two years later, Ive been their slave. My pride wont allow me to admit that Im being bullied so, I act as though we are friends.
I make excuses claiming that Im not being forced. However, I cant lie to myself. Others in the class should have realized that Im being bullied.
Days pass by without meaning.
Saeki, are you bullying Hidaka again? Youre a highschool student, isnt it embarrassing to be pushing someone around like that?
Shes the class representative Kawachi.She has a strong sense of Justice. Her black hair was gathered into a bun behind her head and her eyes, gleaming with the light of Justice peaked out from behind red rimmed glasses. She had the appearance of a hypocrite.
What are you talking about? Hes just going to buy some juice for us? Hey Hidaka, were friends right?
Saeki is quite crafty, while frivolous hes capable of studying. What this means is he only hits your stomach, even if hes angry he wont hit you in the face. When buying the juice, you must pay for it yourself.
Yeah youre just misunderstanding, were really close friends. Kida chimed in.
You never thought of me as a friend even once. Of course its the same for Saeki but Kida is truly an idiot. Its the natural conclusion, Kids simply goes along with whatever Saeki does, he wouldnt think to bully me on his own.
There is nothing as bad as the subconscious.
Hidaka dont stay quiet, if they are bullying you speak up. If you dont neither I nor the teachers can help you.
The hypocrite, in search of favor attempts to come to my rescue.
Theyre not bullying me.
With a bitter smile Kawachi let out a loud sigh at my words.
Hidaka, is everything really ok?
I dont understand what youre asking me.
I left the classroom leaving behind those words. I could hear Saekis ridiculous laughter from the corridor, followed behind be Kita own stupid laugh. Whats so fun about putting down another human? No, the point is they find it fun. The bullying wont stop.
Perpetrator, victim, spectator, bystander.
In other words, when it comes to bullying there is no uninvolved party. Each one works together and as a result, I am bullied. At least, thats what I want to say but the reality is different.
Its ok if its fun, its ok as long as you can look down on others. Thats why Im not in front of the vending machine right now. Instead I came to the roof.
Most schools restrict roof access but the one I attend does not. Almost as if saying, if life gets difficult feel free to jump at anytime.
I probably shouldnt say things like that. I must be really weird or, maybe Im just crazy.
Im not the one whos crazy, its this world thats crazy.
Even if I say that, it changes nothing.
I can see the sky through the fence. Climbing to the other side I close my eyes and take in a deep breath. Inside the fence were various students eating lunch and talking with their friends.
Hey, look! Isnt that dangerous?
Shouldnt we call a teacher?
Thats right, Im about to kill myself after all. It got noisy as they rushed from the roof. I wonder what drives them, after all its the life of just one person. Even if you bring a teacher, Ill be free before they arrive.
The sky is always a beautiful gray color, the ground and asphalt too, always the same color. Just for today, I wanted it all to be a different color.
You understand right. Why Im Im going to jump.
Even though they cant hear me, I asked the question. But its too late, It would have been better to do it earlier. A lot earlier.
Well, goodbye everyone.
Leaning forward, I jumped and fell upside down. Its not that I wanted to die. I just didnt want to live. You probably wouldnt understand the difference.
Im falling now, soon Ill disappear. It will beas tho I never even existed. I could see the roof as I fell my back towards the ground. It felt as though my consciousness was slipping away.
At that time a bright light appeared. It filled up my vision blinding me. I became unable to think. The last thing I saw was a world full of white. Today, my life ended.
Hidaka Masamune is dead.