Author's Reincarnation in a Fantasy Setting

Chapter 247 Sharper Than Any Blade, Painful Than Any Wound

After that I went and joined the others to have dinner, leaving Req behind in my room. I'd told her to turn back into the sword but I didn't really know if she did that or not. But well, it was fine as long as she doesn't get seen by anyone.

"Oh, I know. Why don't the two of you go and visit the markets tomorrow?" Ainge suggested. We'd just finished eating and were having a little chatter before leaving for our beds.

"Yes, it's not like anything has changed but a few new shops have been opened which you might find to your liking," Ron added.

"Hmm, I get the idea. But I don't really have anything I want to buy, so it'll just be a waste of time and money," I said.

I already had everything I needed, and the idea of buying something just for the sake of it was strange to me. Even more so when I was practicing to limit my expenses as I knew what the conditions will be once the calamity strikes.

"Come on, don't be such a killjoy," Anya said; obvious, not in an offensive tone. "I was thinking about doing some shopping too."

"But I don't—"

"You say you don't have anything you want to buy, when in reality you have only a few pair of winter clothes."

"What do you mean? I have three sets, any more than that will be nothing but wastage."

As I said that, there was an awkward moment of quiet as all of them stared at me for a good minute.

"…"

"Okay, it's decided. You two are going for shopping tomorrow,' Ainge declared.

"I agree with that," Ron said.

"Wait for a second, no one said I was okay with—"

"You don't get a say in that, Zero," Anya asserted.

[I'm on their side too. You are going to buy some winter wear tomorrow.]

***

Dinner was done along with everything else for today and I was walking down the hallway with my hands in my pocket when I passed an opening in the air which was connected with the garden.

The night had fell, and the moon was bright in the sky thus I decided to stop and take a look.

I stepped out in the grass, and was welcomed by the cold breeze of the night. I walked a bit more and soon stopped before a wooden log that was lying horizontally on the ground. This was the place where I'd told Anya about my reincarnation.

It was quiet hard to do that, but I didn't want to manipulate and deceive my family anymore. So I told her everything. It was not as if she'd cornered me by questioning me like that, telling her was my own choice.

I would've even told Ainge or Ron if they had asked me…I'll be more than willing to tell them even now if they ask for it.

'After all, I don't want things to end up like they did previously.'

Some bad memories came rushing back. It wouldn't have happened under normal circumstances, as I always keep those memories locked up in a lone corner of my heart and mind.

But the dream I saw had opened up many old wounds.

I sat on the log and looked up at the moon. I was trying not to think about it, but the more I tried, the more I failed.

There was a sudden feeling of intense pain rising up in my chest, as if someone was stabbing me with a sword again and again and again.

I was not having a heart attack, it was guilt. Plain guilt. But it was sharper than any blade, painful than any wound. However the worst thing about it was that it could not be cured.

The most I could do was cherish this new life I got and try to take things in a different direction, but that was about it. No matter how much 'right' I did in this life, what I'd done in the past would not change.

It was like a curse, a result of my actions. And I had no choice but to accept it.

After all, even if I wanted to I couldn't survive in this world if I tried to do everything in the 'good' and 'honest' way. Only Leon could do that. He had the world revolving around him, he had a system, he had a plot armor.

"I wonder if this internal conflict of mine would one day become the reason for my fall," I mumbled as I stood up and left for my room.

***

The next day I woke up rather late. Sun was shining proudly in the sky by the time I walked out of my room.

After taking a bath and changing in a fresh set of clothes, I was headed toward the main hall.

Ron was sitting on his usual couch and reading a newspaper, I shifted my gaze and saw that Anya was also there.

She looked quiet different. At first I wasn't able to figure it out as my mind was still in the process of waking up, but then I noticed the difference in her dressing. Today, she wore more fashionable clothes.

'Ah, I remember now. We had to go for shopping today.'

"Good morning," she and Ron greeted me as I made my way toward.

"Good morning, I'd like to say. But I guess it's pretty late for that," I said and sat beside.

"So, are you still keen on taking me for shopping?" I asked, trying my chances for the last time.

"Of course—"

"Zero, someone's here to met you," Ainge said, interrupting Anya as she entered the hall. "I told them to come inside but they preferred to stay outside."

"I'll see," I replied as I stood up and took the hallway which led to the main door.

As I approached the door, I saw a girl standing at the doorstep. She had sleek long hair, which were dyed in a bright red.