Chapter 68: Chapter 1, Episode 68
Chapter 68: Chapter 1, Episode 68
Chapter 68: Chapter 1, Episode 68
Translated by KaiesV
Edited by KaiesV
?Can I ask you one question??
?All right. I’ll answer anything.?
Countess Bauer bites her lip and nods. It’s not something I would answer with such determination, though.
?Why were you near the hearing room at that time? You had a reason, didn’t you??
I was taken to the hearing room after I was falsely accused. At first I thought it was just a wild guess, but then I thought maybe it was not. But then I thought,
?Ahh… That’s because when we went to the jewelry store, my sister brought out a broken piece of jewelry apart from Raul-sama’s necklace. She said it was because Priscilla-sama asked her to do so in secret. So I was wondering if the knight misunderstood that the jewelry was stolen from the Royal Princess’s palace…?
?Hmm.?
I struck up a phase and urged her to continue.
?Onee-sama told me it was a secret, but I didn’t want to keep my mouth shut if I didn’t want to cause misunderstandings… Besides, I don’t feel sorry for you being falsely accused. I thought that the kind Priscilla-sama would surely understand. That’s why I had to tell Raul-sama about this… And then…?
?I must have been the one lying on the ground covered in blood.?
With a gulp, Countess Bauer nodded her head.
?I see, thank you.?
I was convinced by her answer. The Countess Bauer, whom I had thought was a sassy little girl, is a kind girl with a sense of justice.
?I–I’m not doing this for you!?
And I didn’t expect it to be a tsundere, which I like. What a happy miscalculation.
?It was for Raul-sama’s sake, because Raul-sama could have been punished for the misunderstanding, that’s why…!?
I was trying not to hide my smirk, “Yeah, yeah, I know,” I said, and then Countess Bauer’s face turned bright red and she exclaimed,?No, I didn’t mean it!?The more she denied it in such a hurry, the more her scowl would only increase.
?What the hell…! A moment ago you looked like you were about to collapse…!?
?Even though Miss Bauer like that was sobbing herself dry, right??
When I say this back to her, she mumbles something in frustration, but I find myself completely back on track just as she said.
?Don’t change the subject! What I’m trying to say is that Raul-sama has never been unfaithful! You understood my explanation!?
That reminds me. I totally forgot about it, carelessly, carelessly.
?Oh, yeah. I understand you very well, but you know what??
I’m no Viscountess Bolellan, but?So What??was there. When Countess Bauer told me that the necklace was a gift from him to me, all I could think was,?So Neil’s prediction was correct? I thought my interpretation was pretty moderate, too, huh?? I was surprised.
?So, now that the misunderstanding is cleared up, you two will make up, right…??
I never understood a bit why she wanted Raul and I to?make up?so badly. I do think she is a good girl. But she would have been Raul’s most ardent fan. Normally, I think she would have been happier not to?make up?with me.
But to Countess Bower, who seemed unconvinced unless we?made up,?I decided to tell her about the incident at the soiree ten years ago, without concealment.
?Eh, no way…?
?Unfortunately, it’s true. So you understand that?making up?is not that simple, right??
?Eh, uhh… Then why didn’t you break off the engagement? Isn’t it because you love Raul-sama??
Like Viscountess Bolellan, Countess Bauer and the people who like to blow gossip must have thought that I was so attached to Raul that I would not agree to end the engagement.
I exhaled heavily and looked at Countess Bauer.
Unlike Viscountess Bolellan, I wondered if she would understand how I felt. I was beginning to get just a little curious.
?You know, the reason I didn’t break off the engagement was never because I had always had feelings for Raul.?
And Raul didn’t wish to continue the engagement because he has feelings for me.
?At first, it was just a way of saying, “Don’t be stupid. I am not a convenient toy. Don’t think you can do whatever you want to me.”?
When he decided that the condition of our continued engagement was?the time of marriage is when I feel like it,?I was breathing hard and said I would never nod my head.
But sometimes I wonder now if Raul was really waiting for me to beg him. If Raul had made an explanation, apologized, or shown good faith at that time, perhaps I would have forgiven him. Unfortunately, though, that never happened.
?One day, the Royal Princess came to visit me at the academy. What do you think she said to me??
?……An apology…??
?That’s usually how it works,?
“But it was not.” Thinking about it, if she wanted to apologize, she won’t choose to visit a school.
?Shs said,?I’m so glad you’ve become a lady-in-waiting, Marsha-san.?I was so surprised.?
I could only laugh dryly now. When I asked her about it, she told me that Raul had recommended me.
?I couldn’t help but say no, I can’t do it because I’m going to be Myra-sama’s lady-in-waiting.?
.
The truth is that I had my doubts about becoming Myra-sama’s lady-in-waiting, even though she had asked me first. But for some reason, I remember thinking strongly at the time,?I have to run away.?
?I’m sure the Princess wanted to make me her lady-in-waiting so that she could pretend that the evening of that soiree never happened. She really made me look like a fool. I can’t believe she would take advantage of someone so easily.?
?That…!?
“I don’t want to believe it.” Countess Bauer likes them, so it’s even harder to believe. But the fact is that what actually happened at the soirée is a fact that only those close to me know.
?I was shocked. But then I thought. If they’re going to use me, I’m going to use them.?
?…Eh??
“What do you mean?” Asked Countess Bauer.
?I started serving at the royal court when Myra-sama was only nine years old. There was no one who would take Myra-sama’s side. His Majesty, who was the Crown Prince at the time, was at a loss as to how to treat his younger bride, and his subjects thought she was a child and underestimated her. The pressure of being the crown princess was the only thing weighing heavily on the nine-year-old Myra-sama. Living in a palace filled with malice and without allies is more difficult than one can imagine.?
Myra-sama was getting more and more exhausted by the day, and I was so frustrated that there was nothing I could do to help her. I was desperate to protect her and reduce her burden as much as possible.
?I wanted to divert as much malice as possible away from Myra-sama. So I used my engagement to Raul for that purpose.?
It was also convenient that they were popularly regarded as?tragic lovers.?
?I could gather ill will towards me pretty easily.?
It was as if one could hear the licking of tongues of beasts that had found new prey.
?I used Raul for Myra-sama. And Raul used me for Her Highness. We are very much alike.?
But there was one crucial difference. I sacrificed myself, but Raul sacrificed me, not himself. Raul has no regrets for that.
?But that said, was it really necessary to spend ten long years??
Countess Bauer’s line made me smile to myself.
?Yes. You’re right about that…?
What I have in my heart is regret.
?I realized a long time ago that there was no longer any need for such a thing. Even if he doesn’t want to turn against me, Myra-sama is already able to stand firm as the Queen of the Gran Kingdom.?
I was thinking of Rio’s words,?It’s my fault.?If I had taken the decision to break off my engagement with Raul earlier, the maid lady I left in that half-basement might not have suffered so badly. Perhaps I have made more women unhappy than I know.
Just thinking about it makes me feel like my heart is about to give out.
?I could have broken off the engagement earlier. But, yes. This time I started using Raul not for Myra-sama, but for me.?
I despise Raul as a cowardly and cunning man, but in retrospect, what a coward and petty I really am.
?…I got scared. If I broke off the engagement, wouldn’t I now have a new fiancée? If that man dumps me again, if that man betrays me as unnecessary…?
Not everyone is as unfaithful as Raul, though. In fact, some people, like His Majesty and Douglas-sama, are single-mindedly devoted to their wives.
?You must have been surprised to find that the most hated lady-in-waiting at the Queen’s palace is such a coward.?
Countess Bauer was listening to me with a mysterious look on her face, and I dared to speak in a cheerful tone. I thought I might have spoken a little too much.
Countess Bauer shook her head, biting her lip.
?It was Raul-sama who made you think that, wasn’t it…?
?That’s a little different. He’s just a trigger. The point is, I am just not sure of myself.?
I heard a gagging, sniffling sound. I didn’t mean to, but I made her cry.
?…But you’re right. I certainly can’t trust Raul once he’s betrayed me. That’s why I can’t?make up?with him. I hope that makes a little more sense.?
Countess Bauer gave a small nod and said,?I’m sorry.?
I took the Countess Bauer’s hand, which remained prone, and urged her to stand up. I pulled her hand and led her to the balcony.
The sun was well into the evening when I realized how much time we had spent talking.
?…I’m sorry I made you cry. And thanks for listening.?
When I told her this, Countess Bauer turned her head and shook her head silently, and then I heard a loud sniffing sound.
I held her hand as I took it and just quietly closed my eyes and felt the wind outside.
How long had I been doing that?
?Hey…??
?Nhn? What??
Countess Bauer asks me unexpectedly, and I open my eyes to let her into my vision.
?……Couldn’t you have found someone else you liked??
I answered her genuine question with a smile. How she took that, I do not know.