Bog Standard Isekai

Book 3. Chapter 36

Brin had to wonder why Oud’s Bog was considered a Bog town at all. Maybe once upon a time it had been like the others, a small hamlet snuggled tight against itself, huddling behind wooden walls to ward against a looming forest. Here, the forest was far away. By the time they reached the bottom of the hill, there was no sign of the forest at all. Every tree that wasn’t clearly decorational and owned by someone had been cut down to make way for farmland, suburbs, and then the city proper.

The city wasn’t huddled or crowded, either. Oud’s Bog spread out wherever it pleased in all directions, seeming to take for granted that it was safe here. The town walls were a mere formality; no one manned the gates and there was no real difference between the homes inside or outside of them.

The design of the houses were much the same as Hammon’s Bog, wood homes favoring thick beams and carven designs on the windowsills and doors. The key difference was the spacing, instead of townhomes built together, they’d often be single-family dwellings. If Brin had come here first, he probably would’ve liked it, but after living in Hammon’s Bog for so long, it felt uncomfortable, like a gap-toothed smile.

He used [Inspect] as much as he could, firing it off on everyone he saw. There were all kinds of Classes, but it surprised him how many people he saw who were still fairly low-level. Most people hung below level 25. You really did get better chances for levels out in the wild.

[Inspect] leveled up! 36 -> 37

Many people must've [Inspected] him right back.

[Hide Status] leveled up! 13 -> 14

The biggest difference, strange to say, was the road. They’d left the dirt paths far behind, this was a proper road made of perfect brick in tessellation patterns, an understated yet strangely compelling mark of high civilization. No one else seemed to pay it much mind, but Brin kept finding his eyes drifting back down to the road.

Davi and Myra, on the other hand, were bouncing on their heels. They both looked around excitedly, trying to look around the nearby houses and stepping forward too quickly before remembering they had to stay with the group and falling back again. Sion looked excited too, even though he’d obviously spent a lot more time in cities than the yokels from Hammon’s Bog.

“What do you want to do first?” asked Myra. “Shopping? We should take Brin to a real restaurant! Oh, and there are dancing halls.”

“I want to head over to the [Bard’s] Terrace. Oh, but food sounds good! And the shops,” said Davi.

“I must go with the caravan to set up camp, but I would gladly join you afterwards,” said Sion.

“We’re still going to camp?” asked Brin. “I figured we’d stay in an inn.”

Davi shook his head. “You could stay in an inn, but these guys bring their homes around with them. They’ll stay with their wagons just like they do when they visit us.”

Brin noticed that Davi hadn’t included himself in the inn group or the camp group. “Where will you be staying?”

Davi smiled uncomfortably. “Jeffrey says inns are for losers. We’ll stay in someone’s house.”

“Whose?”

“Don’t know yet. I have to get someone to invite me. He makes me do this in every town. It’s part of my, um, training… I guess. His rule number one is ‘a [Bard] never pays for anything.’”

Hogg had once told Brin that rule number one was “get a Class doing something you like to do.” Brin wondered how Davi was doing, honestly. He loved music, but there were clearly a lot of other things about the [Bard] life that still bothered him.

They got to an intersection, the first with some actual businesses. There was a public house on one corner and an inn on the other side. The caravan stopped.

In the front of the caravan, Zerif turned to the rest of them, clapping a few times to get everyone’s attention. “We’ll split up here, I think. I’ll be heading over to Baron Neves’ estate to deliver our prisoners and call his attention to the troubles on the road. Pio will continue on to set up camp, and Mumeli will take the injured to seek healers. For any of you who are parting ways with us here, please remember to check in with Pio to collect your pay. I don’t think there will be any who will forget, no?”

That brought a round of chuckles, and the groups started to go their separate ways.

“They won’t expect to see us until tonight. That means we are free to do as we wish until then,” said Sion.

“In that case, I think we should try the market first,” said Myra.

Brin nodded, “I really want to see what kind of–”

“Nope,” Hogg arrived and put a hand on Brin’s shoulder. “You’re coming with me. Grab your bag. Come on, hurry. You too, Marksi.”

“But–”

“I mean hurry! You can play with your little friends later, but we really need to move.

Confused, Brin grabbed his pack and followed Hogg, who broke into a run. Brin followed, and Marksi scampered along beside, still looking a bit tired.

Hogg increased the pace, and Brin followed. It wasn’t near the limit of his ability, but it was still a mad dash through town. He wondered what the rules were for things like this. In a world of Classes and levels, there were bound to be people out there who could run faster than a horse. Was it really ok just to sprint through town like this? The roads weren’t too crowded at this time. In Hammon’s Bog he would say it was half past the first bell so most people would be working the first shift, but who knew how things worked here?

People stopped to stare at them, but Brin didn’t know if that was because they were running, or if it was because he had a cute rainbow dragonling by his side.

“Where are we going?”

“How fast can you make an Invisible Eye?” asked Hogg.

“Usually under a minute. Two, tops. Where are we going?”

Hogg darted down a side street, maybe to avoid a crowded street up ahead.

They ran down the alleyway, which twisted and turned like a maze, zigging left then zagging right. They followed what must be a perfect map of the area in Hogg’s head, because he chose the direction each time without an ounce of hesitation. They got to a dead end, and Hogg climbed up the sheer brick wall with ease and dropped down the other side.

Brin grit his teeth and charged forward, building a bit more speed. He wall-ran straight up, moving higher than he’d expected, given the added weight from his pack. He got his fingertips onto the top of the wall, and pulled himself over. Again, it was much easier than he expected. With his high [Strength], the weight of his body plus the backpack was basically nothing.

Dropping down the other side, he saw a nice row of flowers, a little fountain, and a few neatly trimmed bushes. They were in someone’s private garden. He saw Hogg already going over the wall on the opposite side.

Brin followed, and his nervousness about trespassing almost made him miss the handhold that got him over the other wall; he slipped and needed to grab again with his other hand. Somehow he managed, and thankfully the other side led back to a public street.

This area was clearly much nicer, with finely clothed people and beautiful, elegant storefronts, but he didn’t have time to gawk if he was going to keep up with Hogg, who was already darting through the crowd.

Brin ran after him, down the street.

After three more blocks, Hogg finally slowed down to a walk, giving Brin time to catch up.

“Catch your breath,” Hogg put on a pleasant expression, and seemed to saunter a little as he walked, as if he were on a pleasant stroll and he hadn’t run halfway across town. Brin almost would’ve called him a match for the upper-crust-looking people in this part of town except for the fact that he was in all black leathers… no, he wasn’t. He was wearing a nice cream overcoat, a tophat, and held a cane.

“What? You can do that?”

“Nifty, huh?” Hogg tapped his hat with his cane. “It even feels somewhat real now. We’re here.”

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Brin looked at the storefront that Hogg had been in such a hurry to get to, and he couldn't understand it. It was like a restaurant, but with little tables and big chairs. Some of them were reclining armchairs like Hogg had at home. The place looked rich, that was for sure. There were nice vases on little tables, potted plants, and artwork on the walls. [Inspect] told him that everything was masterwork quality, from the rugs on the floor to the delicate crystal chandeliers. [Inspect] even told him that the plants were tended to by a high-level [Gardener], in fact, everything told him more than his [Inspect] usually got. It was like it wanted him to look.

He finally read the sign on the door. “Adolno’s Tea Parlor”

“Tea? We raced across town for tea?”

Hogg was already handing his hat and cane to a greeter at the door. “My dear boy, it’s time I finally introduce you to the finer things in life. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Adolno’s Corroco Crisp. Or perhaps the Summer Dream?” Hogg had put on a bit of a posh accent.

Fine, he would play along, but Hogg had better explain himself soon. Brin had already used his regular accent, so he’d be playing the part of the philistine. He looked at the greeter and shook his head ruefully. “He’s always like this, you know. This morning he tried to get me to wear a hat. What would I need a hat for? So do you, like, only sell tea, or…?”

The greeter sneered at Brin in disgust and then turned back to Hogg. “The Summer Dream is excellent, or could I perhaps interest you in our new Mint Pistachio? We also have some juice we can warm up for those without any taste or refinement.”

“That sounds like just the thing!” said Hogg.

“This way, please,” said the greeter. To Brin’s surprise, even though he’d obviously already taken offense to Brin’s presence, he didn’t seem to mind Marksi at all, barely giving him more than a glance. He led them to a table with a pair of nice armchairs. Hogg took the one facing the street, so Brin had to take the one facing inside, which was too bad since he’d really have loved to watch the people walking by. Marksi climbed up into his lap.

When they were alone, Hogg said, “Alright. So the nice thing about these places is that no one will mind if you linger a bit, or even if you fall asleep. Perfect place to forget about your body while you’re focusing on illusions. Now, in a couple of minutes, Zerif is going to walk right past this store. When he does, I want you to follow him with an Invisible Eye. My Visible Eyes aren’t going to cut it, not inside the Baron’s estate.”

“Oh,” said Brin. That’s why they’d had to hurry. Hogg had wanted to give Brin as much time as possible to get the Invisible Eye spell ready before Zerif got here.

“Yeah.”

“You know, it would’ve been easy to just tell me what we were doing,” said Brin.

“Not for me.”

“So why can’t– oh, are we safe to talk here?”

Brin felt sound magic surrounding them. Hogg said, “Now we are.”

“Why can’t you make invisible eyes with hard light?” asked Brin.

“I can’t seem to be able to make hard light on the spectrum of light that’s invisible to the human eye. I might crack it in time, but even then it wouldn’t be perfect. What your Invisible Eye does is bend light around itself, like for Self Invisibility. I can’t use hard light like that. Now you should get started.”

“Not before my tea gets here!” said Brin.

“It would be wasted on you. You have no taste.”

Brin sighed and leaned back in his chair. He closed his eyes, and started pulling together the Invisible Eye, working off the memory he’d stored in his glass ring.

He got it on the first try, and then placed it over the street, waiting for Zerif.

Inside [Directed Meditation], he couldn’t do much except sit and wait for the minutes to tick by. On the edge of awareness, he noticed a waiter come by with the tea, and a moment later he heard Marksi start to slurp it down.

Finally, Zerif appeared on the street, and Brin sent his eye after him. He was trailed by the captured bandits and a few guards with spears in hand, and the people on the street gave him a wide berth.

He walked directly, with purpose, but still too slowly for Brin’s liking. Still, there was nothing to do but focus on keeping the spell running and following his target.

Luckily, this place wasn’t too far away from the final destination. Down the street, across an absurdly long walkway to show off the Baron’s extravagant gardens, and they arrived at the estate. It was a stately white house, surrounded by a spike fence made of a shining silver metal. The design looked opulent and frilly, but the way that it gave nothing away to his [Inspect] made Brin think that it would be really difficult to climb.

[Guards], actual men with the Class, met Zerif outside and led away his prisoners. Zerif’s guards, actually [Merchants], took their cue to leave. Zerif entered the mansion alone.

They didn’t go far inside. A [Footman] led Zerif to a sitting room very near the entrance, where he waited for the Baron to arrive. The sitting room was a lot like the tea parlor Brin was in. Everything was very beautiful and well laid out, and [Inspect] gave too much information, clear that the owner of this place wanted you to look as well.

A maid served Zerif tea while he waited, which made Brin lick his lips. He didn’t really even like tea, but after a morning spent walking he was a little parched. And besides, was everyone going to get to drink tea today except for him?

Eventually, the Baron entered the sitting room. He had unconventionally straight and reddish hair, and was a large, portly man. Portly for Frenaria, which meant overweight but not obese, and had a friendly, informal attitude. At least with Zerif. Maybe they were friends? Or maybe Baron Neves was always like this.

Either way, he laughed off Zerif’s bow and pulled him into a hug, ordered rum instead of tea, and put his feet up on the tea table while they talked.

“So what’s this about you bringing bandits into my home?”

Zerif dabbed his suddenly damp forehead with a handkerchief. “Your lordship, I can assure you that I would never–”

“Oh, I know, forgive me a bit of teasing.”

“Of course, good one my lord. As I was saying, we captured this entire group on the road from Sudd’s Bog. We have reason to believe this was the very same group that attacked the hamlet previously this year.”

“Remind me, where was Sudd’s Bog again?” asked Neves.

“It’s nowhere, now, my lord.”

Baron Neves grinned. “So with this can I assume that this matter is closed?”

“Indeed, my lord, very astute. With these bandits captured, I believe we can call this an end to the entire ordeal. No more bandits will trouble your Boglands. The rapscallions have been brought to justice! As it were.”

“How’s your sister, by the way?”

Zerif sighed dramatically, but seemed relieved at the change of conversation. “The same as always, I’m afraid…”

After that, the conversation drifted to safer topics. They talked about their families, the weather, the price of grain. Brin waited through the entire conversation, but didn’t hear anything else noteworthy.

When Zerif made his leave, Brin dismissed the Invisible Eye, and then told Hogg everything he’d heard, who just grunted and didn’t tell Brin what he thought about any of it.

A waiter came by with another cup of tea, and this time Brin snatched it up before Marksi could get at it. He also noticed some crumbs that could’ve been cookies.

“You could’ve saved me at least one!”

Marksi declined to look even a little bit sorry.

Brin sipped his tea and decided he had no idea how to tell if tea was any good or not. It tasted fine. He added a few teaspoons of sugar, and that made it better, but he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be getting out of this experience.

Hogg paid and they left.

Despite wanting to meet up with his friends, Hogg said they might as well check in with the inn. He brought him to a rather fancy hotel, but after the tea parlor and the Baron’s estate, Brin had already had his fill of being impressed by people’s furniture, so he tapped his foot in the lobby while Hogg talked to the staff.

It wasn’t as simple as checking into the hotel in his old world. First, Hogg had to prove his identity. Then he had to arrange payment, then he had to listen to ten minutes of flattery as the owner of the establishment came to greet their very rich guest.

When they were finally shown to their rooms, Brin wanted to drop off his bag and head straight back out, but the bellboy stopped him and practically insisted that he take a bath first. Brin had to admit that was a pretty good idea. It hadn’t really bothered him on the road, but here in enclosed spaces he was becoming painfully aware that he reeked.

The hotel room actually had a bathroom, with a sink and working toilet. After weeks on the road, that seemed like the most luxurious thing about this place, despite the fact that his bed looked like it was made for a princess. Eventually, though, he tore himself away from the beautiful, glorious commode and entered the bath that had been started for him, somehow still the perfect temperature. He had a good, long soak, with lots of smelling salts and bubbles. Not something he’d do for himself, but the stuff had already been in the water when he’d arrived and he had to admit he liked it.

When he was done, he had to wait in a bathrobe while his clothes were laundered. Since they were waiting anyway, Hogg had agreed to order some food up to the room. His clothes got back before the food did, so then they had to wait for that.

When it finally arrived, he was delighted to find what he’d describe as fried burritos, wrapped in paper. They were still piping hot, when he bit he tasted an explosion of flavorful, juicy meat and spices. The best part was that this was something they could eat on the go, so he could finally leave the room and go explore the town.

When they got out, the daylight had all but faded, leaving Brin wondering if they’d be better off just going back to their rooms and trying again tomorrow, but Hogg told him that he had something he wanted to see.

So once again, Brin followed Hogg through the city streets. Once again, Hogg refused to elaborate on where they were going or what they were doing. This time, Brin had the burrito to keep himself occupied, so he didn’t really care. It was delicious. He bet the person that made it had some kind of cooking Class.

He was licking the last of the juices off his fingers when they arrived at some kind of town square. Nearby, a [Crier] shouted the news. “The Ashelby and Cunha families announce their union in marriage! The Cunha orchards are now under Ashelby management from this day forward! That’s it for business, and now for Crime! The string of cutpurses on purple street have been ended thanks to a timely arrest by our own [Police Chief] Emson! No murders were reported last night, but one suicide! Thefts are down overall across the entire city from last quarter! No monster sightings or attacks have been reported from the forest. And if you’re just arriving, four bandits were captured in the Boglands! Three will be rehabilitated, and one was hanged!”

Brin looked up to see a stockade in the center of the street, where a man had been hanged. No, a boy. Without a hood, his eyes bulged out and his tongue stuck out and had turned black, but Brin still recognized him. It wasn’t Nye, who’d done all the talking. It was the one who’d always looked so timid and afraid. A [Butcher].

He wanted to be shocked or disgusted, but he felt a little too jaded for that. All he felt was clinical interest.

“I thought you said they wouldn’t hang Common Classers,” said Brin.

“He didn’t have a Common Class. He was hiding an evil Class behind the Common Class with the same name. A neat trick, but the only time I’ve ever heard of it working like that is with [Butcher]. I was wondering if the Baron’s [Interrogators] would pick up on it.”

Brin thought about it for a second. If the Baron’s [Interrogators] were that good, then they definitely would have picked up on the other thing that Zerif had lied about. The four they’d captured hadn’t been the entire bandit party; most had gotten away. Zerif had to have known he wouldn’t get away with that.

“Zerif and the Baron are working together to protect the bandits?”

Hogg licked his teeth. “Seems that way.”