Bog Standard Isekai

Book 4. Chapter 5

"First, you should change," Hogg said as they re-entered the black carriage.

“Do we have time for that?”

“I already sent a runner to tell the Wogans that we’ll be late. And we made up some time with Riposto. It went a lot quicker than I expected.”

“Seriously?” Brin didn’t feel like it had been quick at all; it had been two hours of grueling negotiation, and they weren’t even done. The contract had been signed, but there were still going to be dozens of meetings over the next few weeks to make sure it all went smoothly.

“I figured I’d have to make a big show of walking away once or twice but the second I mentioned the royal auditors he folded and it was fairly straightforward after that. Which is good, it gives you time to get changed. I don't think both of us wearing all black is going to send the right message."

"Why not? What's going on with the Wogans that's got you so worried?"

Jeeves clicked his tongue at the horses from the driver's seat, and the black carriage began to move down the road.

"Prinnashian [Merchants] have a reputation for being absolutely cutthroat. But if that's all it was, I would deal with them the same way I dealt with Fernand. No, the problem here is that Sion is your friend, and his uncle is probably going to want to extend that to me and him as well. This is supposed to be a friendly negotiation. I'm going to have to be... nice."

Brin laughed, but at the same time he understood that this was going to be an actual problem. "We're screwed."

Brin could probably use illusion magic to change the color of his pants, but he didn't know the exact spell for it right now, and also wasn't sure if he wanted to keep a directed thread running just for that during the entire length of the negotiations. Each one was only a small load, but they added up.

"Fine."

The carriage took them home, and Brin changed into dark purple pants and a red shirt, not really because he knew if they matched or not, but because the tailor paired them when he'd purchased the set. He kept the black overcoat with the rainbow Marksi on the back.

That reminded him to check on actual Marksi and found him sitting next to a campfire with Lurilan, still miles away from Blackcliff. They wouldn't be back in time tonight, which was too bad. Marksi was an effective diplomat all on his own.

Hogg, of course, met him outside wearing his usual black leathers. To his surprise, he announced that they were going on foot.

"Oh, thank Solia," said Brin. "I think I'll miss Jeeves, though. It was nice having you, Reginald. Don't be a stranger now."

"You know he's a construct of hard light, right? Like one of your Mirror Images?"

"Geez, say that out loud here in public, why don't you?" Brin griped, but he noticed that Hogg had at least silenced the area against eavesdroppers.

Rather than simply disappearing, Jeeves clutched his heart, and then spoke in a deeply resonant voice. "Ah, I see my purpose is fulfilled and that I am at an end. Woe is me!"

"Um. Bye now," Brin said.

"I think I'll miss you most of all, Master the Mistaken. Oh no. NO! It's happening. Death is upon me!" Jeeves’ skin and flesh exploded from his black bones in a spray of shadow that splattered all around the ground in every direction. His coal-black bones stepped forward, mouth open in agony, before finally collapsing to the ground, melting into the pool of shadow on the ground. Eventually that too disappeared, seeping into the cracks of the cobblestone.

Brin shook his head. "A little morbid, don't you think?"

Hogg grinned ghoulishly. "Face it, despite the fact that you know he's a fake, you felt a little bad for him just then, didn't you? You're going to be a little worried about this until you see him again, aren't you? Admit it, you are!"

"No!" Brin said, though Hogg obviously wasn't fooled. "Ok, wait, no, we need to talk about this. Why are you so comfortable with people knowing that you can make walking, talking clones? Your enemies are going to be expecting them now."

Hogg tapped his nose. "And they'll think the giveaway is the complete lack of color. They'll look for people wearing black. By revealing a little, I conceal a lot."

Brin folded his arms. "No, I'm not buying it. You've given away a key advantage with the Jeeves display."

"You're not seeing this the right way. I'm doing exactly what I've always done." Hogg shoved his hands in his coat pockets and stalked down the street. Brin followed.

With his [Traveler] Achievement, his movement speed was increased when out of combat, but it worked so smoothly and seamlessly that he hardly noticed it unless he was looking for it. The city just seemed to sail by a bit faster, each step covered more ground.

Hogg must've had Achievements like that as well, because Brin had to hurry to keep up with him.

Halfway to the Wogans' estate, Hogg said out of the blue, "I think I like the idea of people knowing what I can do."

"What do you mean?" asked Brin.

"Just what I said. Shoot. To think I could be this old and still have the System mess with my thinking. If the pitfall for [Illusionists] is defensiveness and being overly secretive, the danger of [Mages] is megalomania. I liked the way that those servants looked at us when we walked in with Jeeves by our side."

Brin didn't admit it out loud, but he'd kind of enjoyed that too.

Hogg shrugged. "Well, the cat’s out of the bag with shadow people. I'll try not to reveal any more power, though."

"Especially when they're tied to my secrets as well," said Brin.

"Nah. Why would I care about that?"

Brin glared at him and Hogg laughed. The old guy was definitely nervous if he was laughing this much.

When they arrived at the Wogan estate, it was the total opposite of what they’d seen at the Riposto place. Instead of carefully trimmed shrubs and symmetrical planning, the Wogan gardens were made in such a way as to appear natural, as if they’d just sprung up from the ground like that. And instead of coldness and intimidation, Glyn was standing at the gate himself with Sion by his side.

Standing together, it was hard for Brin to see the family resemblance. Sion was lean and fit, while Glyn wore rolls of fat like a badge of honor. Also, Glyn was completely bald. Actually, Pio was bald too, wasn't he? Was that a Prinnashian thing? Did Brin have to worry about that? He'd already been prematurely balding in his old life; it would be too cruel to have to deal with that in a completely new body.

When he saw them arrive, Glyn held his arms out wide. "Ah here they are! Welcome! Truly, what an honor it is to finally meet."

"I apologize for our tardiness," said Hogg. "I hope you weren't waiting long."

"Nonsense! Are you not even earlier than you told us you'd be? Only, I was so excited to see you that I could not help but wait at the gate. Come! Come inside and see my home. Only I hope you start to see it as yours! Brin and Sion have become such good friends. Like brothers! I hope that you and I will be great friends as well."

"I'd like that very much, sir," Hogg said awkwardly.

Glyn dropped his outraised arms and put forward a hand to shake. When Hogg clasped it, Glyn pulled him back into a hug.

"Now, come and be welcome to my humble dwelling." With one arm still over Hogg's shoulder, Glyn turned towards the mansion, and they began their walk across the gardens.

"The grounds are beautiful. Those trees are a particularly nice touch. Not often you see multi-stemmed shrubs grown to the size of oaks. Your [Gardener] must be a rare talent," said Hogg.

"Ah, this? It's the best I could do with the limited resources we have out here in this humble outpost. If only you could see my home in Prinnash!" said Glyn.

You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.

Hogg nodded. From the surface he looked perfectly amiable, but Brin knew him well enough that he wanted nothing more than to throw off Glyn's arm and start growling at everyone. "That's right, the Wogans are centered outside of Aberquay, if I'm not mistaken."

Glyn grinned in delight. "You are truly well-informed. Yes, indeed!"

"I think I might have walked past your outer buildings once or twice. Do I remember a special red flower that grew on all the walls there? Heart Flower? Heart something."

"Yes, yes!" Glyn said eagerly. "The Spice of Heart! You truly have been there if you remember that! If you see the rose bushes there, and then there. Those have been placed to be reminiscent of the flowers from my home. You Frenarians love your roses, do you not? I thought to keep the effect of my home while adapting to local sensibilities."

Despite how Glyn acted like he had to point out the roses or Hogg and company might miss them, they grew in enormous, luscious hillocks that stood twice as tall as Brin.

"They're nice," agreed Hogg.

"Aw, dear me. You hate them!" groaned Glyn.

"Not at all! I only thought it would be nice to see the Spice of Heart again," said Hogg.

"Say no more, my friend. If you do not like the roses, then they are gone." Glyn clapped his hands two times, and a veritable army of [Gardeners] sprung from the house and discreetly placed maintenance sheds to descend on the hills of roses. They descended upon them, chopping them down and tearing them out by the root.

The work went absurdly quickly, and Brin saw a level 50 [Gardener] among the others, wearing the same standard work uniform. He was starting to understand now why Hogg was so nervous. How high leveled must Wogan be, if he could have a [Gardener] like that on staff? And he wasn't even the leader of the family, just the head of a branch.

"Oh, you don't have to do that!" said Hogg.

"My friend, how could I do anything else?" replied Wogan.

The roses were removed and carted away, and then the [Gardeners] returned with wheelbarrows full of planters. The planters were filled with short stalks of green covered in very distinct red flowers, tipped with gold on the edge of the leaves. By the time that Brin and the others reached the house, the plot where the rosebushes had stood were nearly entirely covered with the new flowers.

Brin glanced at Sion, who looked back with a pained smile. On the surface, it was an over-the-top display of the trademark Prinnashian friendliness, but really it was a tremendous show of strength. Glyn was doing exactly what Fernand had done. He was projecting strength to give himself the advantage for the upcoming negotiations; he was just a lot better at it than Fernand had been.

Glyn wasn't only saying "I am powerful." He was saying "I am effortlessly powerful, and you better choose your words carefully." Brin wondered if they really should have left Jeeves at home.

Inside the house, they found a great hall not too different from Fernand's, except that Glyn skipped the display of having all the servants line up for them. The mansion was actually built long rather than wide, so that when you walked through it, it was much bigger than it appeared from the inside. After the great hall, they went through a long, wide hallway with checkerboard floors and masterpiece paintings lining the walls.

Hogg was careful to compliment everything as they went along. Brin got the feeling that the compliments were less about sucking up to his host, and more to display his knowledge. Like the Spice of Heart flower, Hogg seemed to know a bit of everything about who the Wogans were and where they came from.

"That bench in the corner is Melting Cherry Wood, isn't it? Glorious!"

"Indeed it is, my friend. There isn't a more comfortable wood for sitting."

"This window isn't glass. Can that be a solid sheet of diamond?"

"Yes indeed. Good eye!" Glyn responded. Brin felt a little embarrassed that he hadn't noticed it first; his magic wasn't detecting that window at all.

"That vase! No, not a vase. That can't be a ritual urn from Theranor. It can't be smuggled, so it must have been awarded by the Hierophant himself."

"Yes, it was, though that happened in my grandfather's time." The vase in question looked like a granite stone with a hole drilled into it, though Value Sense told Brin it was priceless.

"The man on the horse in that painting. Do I detect a family resemblance!"

"You flatterer! But you are correct. That is my grandfather's grandfather. We were not always a house of [Merchants], you know."

The painting depicted a fierce battle, with men in armor on both sides. Glyn's great-great grandfather led a charge atop a white horse. The image was picture-quality perfect, but still had all the flair of creativity that came from a real [Artist].

Glyn accepted every compliment with grace, before finally pausing outside a door. Brin's Invisible Eye told him there was an office on the other side.

"You seem to me to be a man of refinement and impeccable taste," said Glyn.

"No, no, that's not–" Hogg began.

Brin jumped in. "You're right. He tries to hide it, but he is."

"I have a tea from Polissia, a special import, and I've been waiting for the right moment to try it. I fear to try it myself without someone on hand who can help me to appropriately appreciate it. I fear the master of the tea houses here in Blackcliff have not quite managed to impress me."

Hogg licked his lips, no doubt sensing a trap but being unable to turn away. "You're right about the tea houses here. Overpriced for barely adequate tea. Hardly better than tearing the leaves off trees as you walk along and boiling that."

"My thoughts exactly! Perhaps you could... Oh, but I forget myself. That's not why you're here. Come, we should discuss our arrangement."

Glyn opened the door to a plain, tidy office with a since sheet of paper on an otherwise empty desk.

The four of them filed in, with Hogg and Glyn facing each other across the desk, and Sion and Brin sitting together on the side.

"We should discuss our terms. Only what is there to discuss? You need ships. I have ships! I will take your cargo where you wish it to go and sell it for you anywhere in the world. You can depend on me, my friend. Your profits will be quite tidy, I guarantee it!"

"I don't doubt that at all; no, in fact I feel a little bad. We're talking about barely more than three thousand gold here. Is this even worth your time?"

"This sum is nothing to be embarrassed about! And do not worry! We Wogans care for the future, not for a one-and-done sale. I see this as the beginning of a long and fruitful relationship."

"I see. Good, that's really good to hear." Hogg was floundering, but Brin couldn't see a way to help. From the surface, everything looked perfectly cordial.

"I went to the liberty to draw up a contract. All very standard stuff. You can read it if you'd like–no, you should read it." The expression on Glyn's face made it very clear that he didn't actually expect Hogg to read it. Brin felt the pressure to sign quickly and get this over with, but it was subtle. He couldn’t tell if it was pushing against his Mental Resistance, or if that was actually how he really felt.

“Uncle, they should certainly read it, don’t you think?” said Sion.

“Of course! Did I not say they should?” said Glyn.

“Perhaps we might have a conversation about certain clauses…” Sion tried again.

“Surely such details are beneath their notice. Why bother these fine gentlemen with such triviality?” said Glyn.

Hogg looked torn, and Brin could see the problem. He'd been a fair match for Fernand with time, wealth, and extreme preparation, but there was no way he'd be able to win a contest of negotiation with someone like Glyn. He had to depend on the Wogan’s good will. Refusing to sign would undoubtedly and turning this into an unfriendly negotiation would give them a worse outcome overall.

"I don't think that will be necessary," said Hogg. "Let me just find a pen..."

Glyn's eyes glinted. He held up a pen. "There's one here."

Brin couldn’t sit by and let this happen. "Can I read it?"

"It's really nothing out of the ordinary," said Glyn.

"That's why I want to read it. This is nothing new for you or Hogg, but eventually I'll need to be able to understand this stuff," said Brin.

"Well, if you wish, I don't see why not..." said Glyn.

"I'm sure Master Wogan here has better things to do than sit here and help a complete novice understand a basic contract," said Hogg. He scrunched his face up in displeasure, but there was gratitude in his eyes.

"No, who is this Master Wogan? Are we not friends? Please, Brin, take all the time you need. I have nothing else planned for tonight. Indeed, I always have time to instruct the next generation."

He took Hogg’s seat facing across from Glyn and looked down at the paper. He made his eyes move across it, but didn't bother reading. With his Silent Voice, he asked Hogg, "Ok, run me through it. What am I looking at here?"

"It's a disaster," Hogg responded. "It's completely one-sided. With that, Wogan could take everything we have and give us nothing in return. Not to say he would actually do that. He'll be generous and probably give us more than we deserve, but it'll be an act of charity on his part; he won't have to give us a thin nickel. It leaves a sour taste in my mouth, but I think I've got to sign."

This was why Hogg had been so nervous about this meeting. As an [Illusionist], Hogg had always been able to act on his own terms and do business with whoever he wanted. He’d probably chosen Fernand because that’s how he liked to operate; a no holds barred slugging match where each side boldly stated their own case. A “friendly” negotiation like this was completely out of his comfort zone.

Brin winced and pushed the contract back towards the [Merchant]. “Are you doing ok, Glyn?”

Glyn sat up straight looking offended. “How could I be doing anything other than most excellently?”

“Sorry. That came out wrong. What I meant to ask was, do you maybe need some money?”

From the corner of his eye, he saw Hogg and Sion’s eyes bulge out, and Glyn’s jaw actually dropped.

Brin rushed to continue. “Don’t get me wrong! I’m not saying this to embarrass you. You’re among friends here! There’s nothing to be ashamed of. Even the best [Merchants] can fall on hard times once in a while and with the war against Arcaena and the conflict between Prinnash and Frenaria all sorts of things could’ve happened! All I’m saying is that maybe instead of a partnership, we can do something else to get you on your feet. Hogg and I will liquidate his inventory here in Blackcliff for a loss, and hopefully that will give you some breathing room until I can arrange for some real help. I know what I’ll do! I’ll write to Lumina. Would 50,000 pieces of gold be enough, do you think? You know what, I’ll ask for 100,000 and see what she says.”

Glyn tried to speak a couple times, making choking sounds and growing red in the face. “The… I don’t… the Wogan Mercantile Group does not require a bailout! I assure you, our finances are quite sound. I will throw open our records if you cannot believe my word!”

Brin flinched when Glyn slapped the table to emphasize his last point. He stood up at some point and now was looming over Brin. He sighed and visibly attempted to calm himself, pushed out his coattails as he sat back down.

“I’m sorry,” said Brin.

“No, no, the fault is mine,” said Glyn, though he clearly wanted Brin to keep apologizing.

“I said that I don’t really understand this stuff; clearly I was completely wrong. I’ve offended you.”

“Not so!” said Glyn. He tried his best at making a kindly smile. “Is there some part of the contract that you take issue with?”

Brin shrugged. “It’s just not what I was expecting, I guess.”

“Show me the offending paragraph, and we shall strike it away!” promised Glyn.

“How about this? I’ll write something up along the lines of what I was expecting, and you can correct it for me,” said Brin.

“Would you like me to bring in a [Solicitor] or [Scribe] to assist you?” asked Glyn.

“No need,” said Brin. “This won’t take long.”

Using Silent Voice, Hogg said to Brin, “No matter how good a contract you write up, he’ll find some way to get the upper hand. He might not be showing it, but he’s actually still kind of upset.”

Responding the same way, Brin said, “Give me the most one-sided, punitive contract you can think of. Trust me.”