Borne of Caution

Act 2: Interlude 5

After the solemn silence at the memorial, Lee takes everyone back to the Birch household for the night. After dinner, Corviknight and Octillery retreated into their balls to rest, leaving Ninetales, Grovyle, Shinx, and Sylveon to follow Lee and Nigel to the den, where the two men now talk.

The atmosphere within the Birch home is one that Sylveon is familiar with. Warmth, laughter, and merriment were hallmarks of the ranch where she spent most of her life, even if enjoyment of such things has eluded her for what seems like forever.

"No…" Lee leans forward with a grin.

"Oh yes." Nigel mirrors Lee's grin. "One of the few vending machines around that still takes coins, and he tries to put a washer on a string in it! You know what happened after that? A Porygon popped out, mad as a Beedrill and with a Tri-attack already charged! It's a good thing he was wearing dark pants, because I'm sure he wet himself!"

Both men laugh, though Nigel stifles his mirth to take a drink from the glass held in his hand.

Sylveon can hear it. There is a difference in her new trainer's voice. She twitches an ear from her place leaning against Lee's chair. It suddenly sounds as if there is true levity within his words, that he is happy, where he was weighed down before. Her ribbons twitch, and she longs to wrap them around Lee's hand to see if her guess is correct. Instead, she looks at Ninetales, who is lying across Lee's boots.

Despite having been with the team for a few days, it is clear Ninetales is the right-hand of Lee. The fox is a firestorm on four legs and…

…And the other piece of Lee, just as Lee is the other piece of her.

The fairy felt it the first time she and Lee made contact, the dull thrum of emotions not his own. Sylveon's thoughts immediately went to mental illness. Did this man suffer from BPD, or some form of schizophrenia? As far as she was concerned, it would be par for the course for a man.

No. Then she realized the emotions actually weren't his. They belonged to Ninetales.

Then she felt the constant undercurrent of love flowing between them, and she was gripped with a horrific jealousy. How dare they? How dare they flaunt her greatest desire in her face like that?!

For many years, she lived at the ranch with no illusions about what she was doing. She would pick a viable suitor, allow him to mate with her, then birth kits. She cared not if her one-night stand bothered to stay around. She was solely interested in mates who would give her the best kits.

Oh, her darling kits… Each one had grown up too fast. It was as though every litter would look at the world beyond the fence with wanderlust faster than the previous. Sylveon cherished every single one of her children, and set her standards for trainers looking to adopt as high as could be reasonable.

Then he came, and showed her that other forms of love exist.

Her thoughts had become murderous.

Sylveon cannot even think his name. Should she try, her stomach will fall to her paws, her heart will turn her rib cage inside out, and she'll be so sick she cannot even see straight.

She loves #&%$ more than anything.

She hates #&%$ more than anything.

How dare he show her a world she knew not, only to rip it away?! He should suffer! The woman who took him should suffer! They should all be crushed and broken in her grip!

How in the world could she be so foolish? How could she think that his petty platitudes, tender touch, that smile she would die to see just one more time were real?

Ever since that day, the only sensation she's felt throughout her body is cold. It's as if her blood was replaced with ice water, and it drives her mad. No amount of blankets or sunlight or nights spent before the fireplace makes it go away. So often she's been tempted to leap into the ranch fireplace if only to feel some new sensation.

She loves #&%$ more than anything.

She hates #&%$ more than anything.

Yet, if he came back, Sylveon would love him again in a heartbeat. Her chest is so tight she can barely breathe. Why did he leave her? Why did he do this to her?

The fairy shakes the homicidal impulses away. No. She shouldn't be focusing on him right now. Other things are afoot. Taking a deep breath, Sylveon turns her blue eyes up to Lee.

His smile seems unburdened.

His eyes seem… to smile?

His…

Sylveon gives up. Try as she might, the human face is an enigma. Instead, she looks down to the ribbon that she wrapped around his hand several hours prior.

Her ribbon is still quaking.

The things she felt in that scant moment are burned into her for better or worse. The instant they made contact, she felt everything.

Despair.

Loneliness.

Grief.

DespairLonelinessGriefDespairLonelinessGriefDespairLonelinessGrie –!

It was like the moment she learned that he abandoned her. The intensity was unspeakable, and she was rooted in place as the emotions of her new trainer ripped into her like razor claws, piercing her down to the bone.

So much was gone.

Everything was gone.

It was as if the world had come to an end.

At that moment, Sylveon knew that she had found someone that understands what she felt that day as she was forced to endure the emotional surge. It was as if her nerves were dunked in acid.

Then something unbelievable happened. It all began to recede, and something else took its place.

Happiness.

Belonging.

Acceptance.

Love.

The last one nearly took Sylveon's breath away. From the corner of her eyes, she saw the rest of her new team huddle close, holding the wounded man who took her away from the ranch. Without even meaning to, she joined them. Despite the chill of the evening, just being against his leg filled her with warmth.

The fairy gulps, once more looking up at Lee, taking in his smile and listening to his voice as he strokes Shinx, who dozes in his lap.

That pain, that horrific pain, the same kind that still torments Sylveon… Does Lee carry it no longer?

Can one actually recover from such an ordeal? But… The loss of something he loved is what caused everything, isn't it? How did he do it? It doesn't seem possible.

Letting out a quiet breath, Sylveon lays her head upon her paws.

In her chest, something flickers, pushing away the perpetual cold that has plagued her, if only a little.

'Is that hope? What could I possibly have to hope for?' Sylveon wonders, swallowing bile that suddenly rises into her throat. 'How dare you do this to me, Lee Henson?'

Shinx isn't quite sure when things began to make sense. It was recently, but not too recently, and Papa's gentle fingers combing through the fur of her back make it difficult to focus.

It doesn't matter. What matters now is things are beginning to reveal themselves to her, beginning to connect together in a way she understands. All of the flashes and snippets of days past are beginning to line up in order, each one clear and vivid. Before they were like dreams, with no one seeming to relate to one another, but now she knows the difference between the dreams and her own memory, even if those dreams are too captured in her head. Armed with things like words and numbers, all her past experiences come into sharp focus.

There were the earliest ones, where she was her smallest and weakest. She was in a warm place, utterly secure, and everything before that was a stupor. She did not know where she was, as that was a place without sight or words, but she knew Mama was nearby, looking out for her. That knowledge was all Shinx needed. Time moved forward.

Mama would take Shinx far and wide. Some days, she would go ten ten ten ten steps or more, and as time went on, she would take less. The decrease was gradual.

Then Mama began to breathe wrong.

Mama's breath and heartbeat lulled Shinx in and out of a dreamless sleep as the place she resided began to grow small, so the disruption was immediately apparent. Unease filled her. She squirmed, pushing against the walls around her. The noises Mama made in reply were soothing, but it did little to ease her.

Mama would continue to breathe wrong, and it would get worse without getting better. Then Mama began to stumble a lot. The place where Shinx was would then be bumped and tossed around often, and Mama only got worse from there.

Then one day, after Mama and Shinx settled somewhere, after only ten tens and nine tens worth of steps. They came to a rest, and the steady heartbeat that had lulled her to sleep so many times fluttered…

And stopped.

For exactly seven and ten tens of Mama's regular heartbeats, Shinx was alone, and she knew it. Shinx's home then began to spasm, and her instincts screamed. Whatever is happening, it's not yet time! This is not right! Not right!

The entire world shifted.

Light!

Cold!

Noise!

The air was ice and drove needles into her lungs. The light was blinding, and it was all she could do to keep her eyes shut. The breeze howled in her ears, and agony shot through her skull. She tried to open her mouth and cry, but all that came out was a whisper.

Shinx has no idea how long she lay there, but the light of the sun eventually stopped battering her eyelids. Then she heard great thuds upon the ground, followed by a gasp.

'Oh my stars! What on Arceus' green earth happened here?!' said a voice. It was Leo who had found her.

Warm hands picked her up, and she was taken away.

'I don't know, Leo…' the voice of a woman said. Shinx remembers her. She said her name was Evelyn. 'If this Shinx lives through the next week, it'll be a miracle. Whatever you do, please don't get attached. Something tells me she will be joining her mother soon.'

No. No, Shinx doesn't want the thing that happened to Mama to happen to her! She won't go!

Over the next few days, Shinx would force herself to stand upon unsteady legs and finally see the world around her, all without Mama. The first thing she ever saw was Leo staring down at her in amazement.

Her chest hurt, and although she didn't know the word at the time, she was heartbroken.

'I went back to give that Luxio a proper burial, Eve,' Leo solemnly said into his glass rectangle one day. 'She was awful young and sickly, and I think her pregnancy did her in. She must've used the last bit of life she had left to make it to the edge of my property. She wanted somebody to find her cub.'

The words were confusing, but the tone was not… It only made Shinx's chest hurt more.

She wanted Mama. Sometimes, she would stand by the door of the ranch house and cry ugly tears, hoping Mama would appear, but she never did. All that ever happened was Leo picking her up and shushing her. Then she tried using Leo's glass rectangle. It can let you talk to people who are far away, right? Maybe Mama can be summoned that way? On the rectangle, there were symbols that one would need to touch to make the rectangle do its thing. She tried every combination she'd ever seen Leo press, each one two and ten presses long, but she only ever heard confused humans on the other side.

'Sorry Eve!' Leo whisked the rectangle away from Shinx when he found out one afternoon. 'I have no idea how she guessed your number. I guess I'll put a lock on my phone.'

From thereon, Leo's rectangle needed four more presses at the start, but they were always the same, and Shinx learned them just as she learned the other presses. Leo then started guarding his rectangle with more jealousy.

Leo was good to her, but he had so many other babies that Shinx fell by the wayside. He fed her, cared for her, and looked out for her, but so many other pokemon needed his attention, too.

Two and three-ten times they would go from the ranch house to the market, and after watching some of her surrogate littermates disappear in the arms of a human, she understood what was happening.

Those pokemon were getting new parents! Oh, she liked Leo, but she wanted more!

Shinx never missed a chance to be front and center. She memorized exactly where to stand on the house porch to be the first in Leo's 'truck', and where to be in the market pen to be best seen.

She was small and weak, though, and thus overlooked. The hurt in her chest grew day by day.

Then Papa came, and her life changed forever.

The people of the market parted around him as he stepped forward to speak to Leo, with a Vulpix upon his shoulder that Shinx would later know as her new Mama.

When she met Papa's eyes, Shinx knew what it was like to be wanted.

When she was held in Papa's arms, Shinx knew what it was like to be loved.

When she was adopted by Papa, Shinx knew what it was like to belong.

He fed her, cared for her, made time for her, dedicated himself to her, and Shinx cannot ever love him enough. The hurt within her chest finally went away. She looked him in the eye and burned his face into her memory.

Then came Mama. Her new Mama.

Where Papa is soft, Mama is stern. She rules the team with no question, like a queen in a coat of gold that Shinx dares not disobey. Yet, Mama is not without her tender side. Her eyes are sharp and her words sharper, but cuddling in the safety and security of her tails is a privilege Shinx shares only with Papa.

Would her old Mama be angry? Upset?

'She must've used the last bit of life she had left to make it to the edge of my property. She wanted somebody to find her cub.'

No. No, Shinx doesn't think so… She's gone. She did all that a Mama can.

Shinx blinks her bleary, tear-filled eyes, going back to just a few hours ago.

Papa said the stone that Mama carved was a 'memorial'. She hasn't any idea what that word means, but it sounds like 'memory'. Is it something similar? Shinx couldn't read many of the big words on the rock, but two stuck out to her.

No more.

Is a memorial a thing to remember something that is gone?

She skips backwards once more, to a fateful, one-sided conversation.

'You weren't my first baby, you know? You're the third. You would have been the fourth if… things had worked out for the best.'

'Zefu and Suburi were like you, these little cubs I helped raise. I loved them like nothing else, but they aren't… around anymore, making you my last.'

Papa's eyes are filled with melancholy… No, that's too tame of an emotion. Shinx has no word for what she sees, but she dislikes it with all her being.

'You look just like them, and for a while, I wondered if I made the right choice by taking you, baby girl. Was I trying to fill the hole they have left behind? I don't know, but I do know I was worrying myself sick wondering if I would do a good job raising you, wondering if you'd get big and strong.'

Papa's big blues look down at her, and he smiles.

'I love you –'

"–Baby girl?"

The little electric-type awakens from her half-slumber with a start. Looking up, she sees Papa smiling down at her.

"Tired, are we?" Papa teases. "It is starting to get kinda late, so if you don't mind, Nigel – " Papa looks over to the scruffy man in the other chair, "– I think I'm going to get ready to turn in. My pokemon seem to agree."

On the floor, Mama lets out a sleepy huff.

"Sure thing, Lee," the scruffy man says with a smile. "Let me show you to the guest room."

Papa rises, taking Shinx into his arms as he does so, and she doesn't fight the sleep that wishes to overtake her.

Papa is the best, strongest Papa there is.

Shinx will be the best, strongest baby she can be.josei

Papa will never need another memorial for his babies, or anyone else. She will make sure of it.