Bro, I'm not an Undead!

Chapter 545 Not Funny Anymore

"Hey, you see that woman with the pink hair?" one witness, a middle aged man, asked excitedly while scratching the arm of the woman beside him.

"Yes?"

"You know her Family?"

"Of course I do."

"Oh. Okay then," the man said disappointedly as he turned to the person on the other side, hoping that they didn't know anything about the Family the woman who was contending was from. If so, he could show his well of knowledge on the lives of people far beyond his reach!

Hmm, that sounded familiar.

On the platform, the man with the spear, Hocce, swished it all around him with complex, well-trained moves before pointing it at Maxim, the woman with the pink hair.

"You mind if I attack first, milady?" Hocce asked with a confident smirk.

Max denied him a response.

She merely faced him with her hands on her hips, bits of mana flowing from her body to show that she in fact, was ready to fight. She even puffed out her chest, but unfortunately...

Where the gods blessed once, they would not bless again, some may say.

"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Hocce said as he shot at Maxim, six point star shapes appearing wherever he set his feet on the platform with his rapid movements!

In the blink of an eye, he had covered the distance between himself and Maxim, his body becoming wrapped in a storm of bright mana!

'A speed type auxiliary technique...' Maxim noted as she lowered her centre of gravity and took a step forward to prepare for the coming attacks.

A series of deadly swings from the spear assaulted Maxim but she displayed an incredible level of flexibility, dodging the attacks that left little room for her to manoeuvre!

All she did was defend for the better part of seven minutes despite Hocce being fairly skilled and his attacks ferociously bombarding her nonstop!

"You're good!" Hocce complimented Maxim with a chuckle.

He suddenly swung his foot at an angle, a vicious kick blasting at Maxim from the side. As performed this, he pulled his spear back from its lateral stance.

Maxim's eyes shot open!

She leaned back to dodge Hocce's kick but then, the man spun with inertia from his kick before he thrusted hard with his spear while she was still in that vulnerable position from the dodge!

...!

Unfortunately for Hocce, Maxim wasn't as helpless as he had initially thought. The pink haired woman slid down to perform a clean split before she rolled away and stood, preparing for another exchange!

The man with his spear chuckled again.

"Impressive. You're quite flexible in your movements," he said as she swung his speed again.

The more cultured witnesses watching the match sagely nodded in agreement as that flex by Maxim left nothing more to be desired. Her thighs printed on the tight leather armour touching the white platform brought on a lot of satisfaction in all the right organs.

While this wasn't what Hocce was referring to, the witnesses didn't care.

"Allow me to respond in kind," Hocce added as his mana poured out voraciously from his body, its hue turning to a pale maroon before it formed a slim figure with long limbs that floated above, its size being thrice Hocce's own.

This figure had two large golden glows in its sockets and a stitched mouth, over its long limbed body cylindrical covers and numerous joints that made it look like an insect.

As soon as it appeared, Maxim's face hardened and she drew back.

A Genuine Incarnation.

A living type at that.

When this was paired with Hocce's spear, what would be the resul—

"Here it comes!" Hocce called as with a simplistic movement, he threw his spear up to the Incarnation and right after, he bolted in Maxim's direction!

The Incarnation caught the spear and with a shockingly fast movement, it cocked back, seeming to drew upon all its strength before it brutally flung the long weapon at Maxim!

By the time it had thrown the spear, Hocce was already halfway to Maxim's position and with his distance already grown too far with the short ranged Incarnation, it vanished after – but it had fulfilled its purpose!

The hurtling spear tore the air on its way to Maxim but...

Hocce grinned.

It was a Legendary grade weapon after all. Its durability and speed wasn't its only selling point!

The spear released a ringing noise as just before it reached its target who was already preparing to defend against it...

It vanished.

No..

Rather than vanishing, it was suddenly replaced by something else!

It was replaced by Maxim!

The spear and maximum switched places!

...!

"What?!" Maxim was caught off guard by this sudden change.

Now, Hocce was closer to her and she only had a few milliseconds to guard against his fierce attack which caused her to become indecisive for the briefest of moments.

While caught in a myriad of thoughts, Maxim didn't notice something else approaching her from behind and before she could react...

PTCH!

...!

Shockingly, a spear head penetrated her left shoulder from the back, causing her body to jerk forward from the force!

"Urgh!" Maxim screamed.

What?!

She hadn't thought that....

POW!

Hocce blasted his fist against Maxim's chest, knocking her back a great deal of distance before she tumbled on the ground, spilling blood from her mouth!

"That was easy," Hocce said with a breath.

Maxim grunted in pain as she hurried to get up, pulling the spear on her shoulder.

"Don't bother. That spear cannot be drawn when it has struck its target. It never misses and it never lets go," Hocce explained with a smirk. "This is the part where you quit the match. Given the fact that you don't use a weapon, I assume you're only good at hand to hand combat. Without healing your shoulder, there's no way you can fight me. Even if you summon your Incarnation, you'll lose."

Hocce was confident.

He wasn't from a traditional Family.

He and his friends, a local band of thieves, had taken advantage of the Premium Age Royale to register as a new Family and participate in the Royale in order to try for a chance at getting a spot in the EverSword House, much like everyone who was participating.

He didn't know the circles of traditional Families or their abilities as he and his comrades did not have a reliable information network but he was sure for this first round, he had been pitted against someone from the weaker tier of Families.

This should be a good showing for their Family even if he was relying on a Legendary grade tool.

Maxim struggled to breathe and gripped the spear from where it protruded from her shoulder, attempting to pull it out again only to find that truly, this would not work.

It didn't budge.

"I already told you. It's impossible to pull it out," Hocce said while shaking his head and walking towards Maxim. "And here I was even nice enough to spare your pretty face and strike at the one unimpressive aspect about you."

...

With Hocce's voice ringing out through the barrier, many grimaced at his words while for some more knowledgeable witnesses and contenders, the man in the crowd who had been trying to sell himself as an expert on the lore about the Families included, shook.

Maxim stopped struggling.

She stopped quivering in pain.

She turned her gaze from the spear and faced Hocce, her eyes turning cold.

"Unimpressive, huh?" she said as her lips twitched.

This fucker was talking about her chest!

Her flat chest!

He dared to desecrate the memory, no, the history behind this flat chest!

Maxim gripped the spear tight, her mana blasting out in tremendous waves as it wrapped around it.

"I was looking for reasons to take someone like you seriously. Reasons to take this match seriously. Reasons to not kill some pathetic asshole like you who relies on weapons to attack..." Maxim said as her purple eyes gleamed dangerously.

Hocce's face turned pale, his eyes shaking as he took a step back.

The chill he felt from being glared at by those furious eyes made his snark turn tail.

'What is she talking about?' he thought while gulping down saliva.

What was going on?!

His spear didn't just stick in its opponent, it would progressively weaken them too!

It was a high tier Legendary grade weapon!

Someone in the stands was answering this question right now, telling someone who was not entirely interested the simple history behind the Flatbed Family.

"The legends say that the Flatbed Family was founded by a great matriarch from millenia ago who gazed intently at a flat sheet of paper for a whole century, her focus being so immense that she herself became flat! Literally! Can you believe that?! They say following the enlightenment she received thereafter, she could morph between flat and otherwise at will along with showing a series of other abilities!" the man exclaimed, spewing this information to no one in particular.

"I heard that all her descendants afterwards, as long as they were female, were born with flat chests! Maybe it was the price to pay for the power this matriarch earned? No one knows but given that we have a real life example before us, I don't think anyone has reason enough to doubt this!"

As a clamour exploded from the seats around, the spear Maxim gripped, its body devoured by her mana, suddenly shook from within her flesh, stretching her flesh!

Then with a seamless yet illogical transition, the spear came out of her body but it's form.... it became flat!

It seemed to be framed in a very thin glass, like an art exhibit of some kind!

Maxim breathed out, and flexed her shoulder with a straight face, as if the pain didn't bother her at all.

Her murderous visage then turned to Hocce as she dropped the flat spear which fell on the platform with a crisp slap!

"What the hell, man?!" Hocce gritted his teeth as he summoned his Genuine Incarnation which hovered over him. His gaze locked on his spear with a tragic feeling of loss and it was clear that he hoped that by some miracle, it would return to its original form.

'That's a Legendary grade item! How can she so easily...' Hocce wore an ugly expression.

Maxim saw where the man's focus was and scoffed, raising her leg and stomping on the flattened spear!

PWA!

Shockingly, the spear, in this flattened state shattered into pieces and the horror that registered on Hocce's face made it known that he understood that his weapon was also completely destroyed!

While the former thief was still mourning over losing his weapon, Maxim dashed towards him with insane speed many folds faster than what she had displayed before!

Was she holding back before?!

Had she seriously been looking for a reason to take him seriously?!

Hocce growled and had his Incarnation rush forward a short distance from him to intercept Maxim!

He had to stop her!

He didn't want to risk facing this crazy woman himself!

"You think my chest is flat, huh?! It's funny to you, isn't it?! It's funny isn't it?!" Maxim exclaimed each question with frightening emphasis, each sentence breaking Hocce's will.

To his and everyone's shock, Maxim's mana covered hand met with the maroon Incarnation's fist and...

PWAA!

The manifestation of Hocce's Perfect Aura was also turned flat, its image falling to the platform in a thin glass casing!

Even Incarnations were not safe?!

But they were supposed to...

Hocce paled but it did him no good!

He tried to recall his Incarnation but the energy was.... stuck in that form, trapped in the thin casing!

This technique...!

Less than a split second later, a scowling Maxim had her hand on Hocce's chest, a sadistic smile over her mad visage as she activated her technique for the third time.

"Not so funny now, is it?" she said with a satisfied breath, a bright light consuming the space for a moment before another art exhibit fell to the ground!

"ANSWER ME, ASSHOLE! IT'S NOT SO FUNNY NOW IS IT?! HUH?! HUH?! IS IT?!" Maxim yelled with grin as she raised her foot and stomped on Hocce's flat figure!

PWAA! PWAAA! SQUELCH!

Hocce's body shattered and with this came a mix of blood and glass!

The man could be seen frozen with a shocked face but he was unable to react to the mutilation of his body by Maxim who didn't stop stomping until all that remained where nail sized bits of glass and a whole lot of blood n' stuff...

----

[Ding!]

[Mashu_Berusutora has donated grandly to the novel!]

[+2 chapters above the daily quota as at 04/01/23]