Code Zulu Alpha: Nerd in the Apocalypse!

Chapter 1082: Breathing Fiasco

Much to my shock, I thought we obliterated every single fucking thing in our path but it seemed like one made it out alive.

James "#1" Chu screamed for dear life, "GET IT OFF ME! GET IT OFF ME—"

Ruben Padilla reacted faster than James "#2" Tiu, "JUST HOLD IT DOWN— HOLD UP, ITS HEAD'S ALREADY GONE!"

#2 cut in again as he let go of the carcass holding onto #1's arms, "D-DON'T MOVE! I-I'LL CHOP ITS ARMS OFF—"

But yeah, Tatiana arrived at the last second by swinging down at the ruptured roadkill and chopping off all its limbs from its torso:

"TOO FUCKING SLOW! DON'T FUCKING ANNOUNCE YOUR MOVES ALRIGHT?!"

"I—"

"T-THANK YOU! F-FUCK! I-IF IT WEREN'T FOR THESE GLOVES AND YOU—"

"STOP YAPPING AND CONTINUE MOVING THE BODIES!"

"HUH?! WHAT IF—"

Ruben cut in, "Y-YES, MA'AM!"

But #1 still had something to say, "I-IT'S STILL MOVING! I-IT'S BREATHING!"

"NO THE FUCK IT'S NOT—"

"IT IS! LOOK!"

"BUT IT'S A GUY— HOLY FUCK IT'S BREATHING!"

Even I was getting curious but ultimately distracted from all that shouting so I shouted back to get to the task at hand:

"JUST PULL IT ASIDE— AWAY FROM THE REST OF THEM AND SOMEONE WATCH OVER IT! WE'RE LOSING SPACE HERE!"

"R-ROGER!/ YES, SIR!/ WE'RE SORRY, SIR!"

With that said, my curiosity was getting the better of me so I pulled out my TX22 and used my katana with one hand as my kill count increased exponentially. And even Quinn tried to do the same with her Deagle, it only holds a few bullets and she didn't have a lot of mags to go through a hundred or so deadheads for it to make a particular dent other than her handheld weapon.

But yeah, as soon as I ran out of bullets, I used a deadhead as a temporary scabbard for my blade as I pulled out a fresh mag from my chest rig. After that, I switched it with the spent one before I bumped the slide release and pulled my blade out of its flesh sheath and went to town once again.

As I raised my left hand forward with a small bend for the recoil—even if its just a .22—I quickly acquired my targets and squeezed the trigger with the padding of my fingers all the while holding my gun with a tight grip.

And with each random deadhead kissing the pavement with its face, I was already acquiring another target right until I ran out of bullets once more.

I would've stabbed another deadhead to use as a sword sheath but I only had a couple of mags available on hand with this particular gun, so I quickly holstered it and switched to my Maxim 9.

However, I only used one full mag before holstering it and using my katana with both hands because as much as I would've loved to dissect the "breathing" torso behind my back, conserving a bit more bullets was my priority.

Granted I already wasted a bit more to save some time but it was one way to cope—albeit slightly—rather than having the thought of hurrying up fill my mind.

I then shouted at the top of my lungs:

"IS IT STILL MOVING?!"

#1's voice echoed, "Y-YES, SIR!"

"DID YOU TRY OPENING ITS STOMACH OR CHECKING IF IT'S REALLY A DUDE?!"

"AH— ONE SEC, SIR! WILL DO! WILL DO!"

"..."

"..."

"SO?!"

"AH— FUCK!"

"WHAT IS IT NOW?!"

"ITS CROTCH IS ALSO BITTEN OFF! BLEGHH!!!"

"NOW'S NOT THE TIME TO PRACTICE DEATH METAL!!!"

"I-I'M NOT! I-IT'S JUST— UGHH! FUCK! THAT'S SO GNARLY!"

"IS IT A DUDE OR NOT?!"

"I ALREADY SAID THAT ITS CROTCH IS—"

"CHECK ITS TITS!"

"IT'S FLAT!"

"ADAM'S APPLE?!"

"ALSO BLOWN OFF!"

"FUCK!"

"DON'T WE HAVE ONE LESS RIB THAN THE GIRLS?!"

"DIFFERENT ADAM, ASSHOLE! THAT'S ONLY LIMITED EDITION! WE ALL HAVE THE SAME NUMBER OF RIBS!"

"THEN WHAT CAN I DO?!"

"CARVE ITS ASS AND CHECK IF IT HAS A PROSTATE—"

"FUCK NO! I'M NOT DOING THAT!"

"THAT'S AN ORDER, YOU FUCK!"

"I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!"

"BUT DID YOU CUT OPEN ITS BELLY—"

"AH, FUCK! I FORGOT!"

"YOU FUCKING— I'MMA D.A. YOU AFTER THIS!"

"SURE! ANYTHING BESIDES— WOAAAHHHH!!!"

"WHAT IS IT NOW?!"

"I-IT HAS FUCKING TWINS! TWINS! UGH— THE SMELL!"

"THEN PROBLEM SOLVED! KILL IT!"

"WHAT?!"

"YOU KNOW THEY'RE DEAD, RIGHT?!"

"AH— SHIT! FUCK! I'M SORRY! *POP* *POP* *POP*"

At that point, there was another— no, there were two problems solved and it gave me a slight peace of mind to our current situation.

I held my blade tightly with both hands once again as I advanced further than Quinn who almost caught up to my total kill count this morning, but I was still a tad slower because I had to bisect a few non-conforming looking deadheads horizontally so we could avoid another "breathing" fiasco.

But yeah, we could already see where the "split" was, between me and Artem's team, and it didn't take long before we were burning several piles of the undead at the same time.

Additionally, I thoroughly checked #1's arms and the rest of his fucking body for any scratches and whatnot—that made him deathly pale—but luckily enough, the thick gloves he wore that were almost up to his shoulders protected him.

"A-Am I okay?!"

I rolled my eyes, "Physically? Sure. Mentally? A little questionable."

"I-It just caught me off-guard, okay?! I thought I was gonna die!"

"Sure, sure… Our next training session will be a tad interesting for all of ya…"

Ruben cut in with a glint in his eye, "W-What is it?!"

Tatiana and I never looked like antagonists who actually kills the MC in a book:

"You'll see./ Don't tease them, you fucks just hadn't had enough life-or-death experiences. We're gonna remedy that."

"Ah, fuck…"

But yeah, even though we were in a "short rest" phase of this expedition, it was obvious that stragglers were still popping up here and there so while I tasked some of us to go over the belongings of the undead or pick up casings, some of us were watching with their rifles at the ready.