Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Chapter 197 - Death (pt.1)

At the same time, Evin's watching of Endra's past. He was reaching the point where the vision ended the last time. Evan's death. At first Evin was confused, since Evan's life was exactly the same as what he saw before. The childhood trauma, the lover, the book, the gradual isolation, and the eventual death. 

But there was no way Lady Twelve Jokes would be wrong, so he convinced himself that this truly was Endra's past. 

'But if she truly was perfect, wouldn't she know that I already saw these memories?' 

There were some differences though. The biggest one was how Evin saw these visions. First, he could also choose how he saw the visions. In a big lump of information, or in a more scenic way. In the first case, information would simply flood into his mind and all he had to do was process them. It was interesting, though. He could hear stray thoughts in Evan's head, and sometimes even his feelings. 

This new feature helped him understand the isolated Evan's actions more clearly. The first time he saw it, he almost couldn't believe that he was seeing Endra's past. There was even a feeling of disgust at Evan's foolish decisions. 

In the second case, Evin would be put inside a specific scene and could live out Evan's memories. Previously, he was stuck inside Evan's mind and could only see everything going on around the boy, but this time he had his own body. 

He could move around, though not too far away from Endra; and he could touch things. This didn't have any effect on the vision's occurrences, though. Even if Evin grabbed a person, they'd only split into two, one real and one fake. Evin could only interact with the fake. The real one would keep on doing whatever they were doing originally.

Mostly, Evin took on the memories in its information form. It was quicker and it was easier as well. But sometimes, the scenic visions would appear forcefully. Now, he was in the scenic mode. He was inside the room Evan had just died, and was waiting for what was going to happen next.

'No way it just ends like that,' he was muttering to himself. 

Something did happen.

Evan, who was lying on the ground, rotting suddenly moved. It was wrong to say that he moved. He split into two. One Evan lay dead on the ground, while another emerged from inside the body.

Like Evin, the new one was confused. He looked around, got startled from his own dead body, rubbed at his eyes, perhaps wondering if he was having a dream. Eventually, the revived Evan stopped moving and could only stare at the body.

"I must be dreaming… I'll wake up in a few minutes and everything will be the same as always..." he muttered under his breath. 

The situation continued for five days, before finally, Evan seemingly accepted he had died. He didn't do it peacefully though. He thrashed everything in his house, screaming his regrets and the unlucky, almost shameful circumstances of his death.

"I should've gotten my guts spilled out by a robber!"

"Should've gotten smallpox and died at a deathbed!"

"Even slipping on thin ice and breaking my skull would've been great!"

"Anything other than dying like this!"

A few hours of raging later, the newborn ghost finally calmed down. But calmness was impossible. Soon enough, the mutterings resumed. 

Was the afterlife like this for everyone? Wasn't he supposed to fall in hell like all those people told him to? Was this hell? What did God want from him? 

Evan muttered and questioned endlessly. He started praying too. But he received no answers. There was no one to answer him, not even God. But who had the answers? 

Evan decided to find out himself. He would find out what was going on to him and why it was happening. 

With a clear motive, Evan functioned a bit better. He started thinking about his situation more seriously. He noticed that when he was raging at his death before, he could freely pick up some items and throw them around. But the mess Evan made was already gone, like nothing ever happened inside the room.

After a few experiments he concluded that he could touch and pick up things, an ethereal copy of it would be created and the original would stay in place. If the ghost let go of the ethereal copy, it would disappear soon after. Evan wondered what would happen if he touched another person? 

He resolved to go outside. He needed answers

But, he was stuck at the doorstep for a long time, his wavering heart refusing to let him move. He knew that for better or worse, the act would have a certain finality to it. Was he truly dead or not?

With great effort, he walked out of the doorsteps, and he was met with a beautiful sight of an empty street covered in a thin rug of snow. It was just after dawn, so most people had not left their houses. As the ghost walked on the snow, his footsteps would ruin the perfectly level ground… before they disappear promptly. 

Something about this discovery startled Evan greatly, and the man frantically ran around the area and rolled on the ground to leave at least some kind of impact. Alas, the footsteps of the dead could not be found on the snow-white street. 

Soon, others started appearing in the street. They took no notice of the ghost rolling on the ground and went on about their businesses. The previously level ground was now riddled with an array of footsteps. One of them phased through Evan, which left the spirit dazed with horror.

The certain realization started cementing itself inside Evan's head.

"I'm really dead, aren't I?" 

He muttered, laying on the now dirty snow in the middle of winter. He was barefoot, and was wearing nothing but a thin, sweaty garment.

He longed to feel the cold at least.