Death, Devotion, Dissonance

Chapter 65 - Separately Keeping The Same Secret

Even if Evin knew that nothing the Voice said was concrete, he knew that it was a possibility. Did Leanne act fearfully towards him at first? Yes. Did she act weirdly during the day? She did. Was nothing but a child in her eyes? Most definitely.

'So, what would happen if I suddenly confess to her now?'

In normal circumstances, where Evin was just student of the academy in which Leanne taught, Leanne would refuse. After all, she was married and Evin was a child. The only instance when she would accept is if she was afraid of Evin. Of what he might do if she refused. The Voice said that eventually, love might bloom from the relationship, but Evin doubted it.

"Well, if there's nothing else to say, I'd better get home," Evin said, trying to keep his voice from straining.

Leanne looked back and shook herself out of her daze, "Alright. If you find yourself troubled by the Cosmics, don't hesitate to tell me all about it," she smiled and guided Evin out of the house. She never saw the conflict that occurred inside Evin.

Leanne offered to accompany Evin towards the dorm, but he refused and said his goodbyes. Evin felt the addicting clarity disappearing from his head and returned to his normal perspective. But it definitely wasn't as bad as the first time: his head only felt a bit muddled. Like the Voice said, maybe Evin's breadth knowledge was finally nearing the Voice's own.

He expected the Voice to say something during all this, maybe to apologize, or at least make excuses, but it remained silent.

As he walked, he tried his best to keep his head clear, but found it rather hard. He thought over the day's events, his first date with Leanne, the lunch with the nobles, the fight with Decatur, the interrogation of Rith and Abe, the dinner with Leanne and the following talk.

Each and every one of these events had one thing in common. Each and every one of these events ended up in the way the Voice wanted it to. Even if Evin's desired outcome happened, it felt like it happened only because the Voice also wanted it to happen, or it didn't care whether it happened or not. In fact, all the important events in Evin's life went according to how the Voice wanted it.

'Not anymore,' Evin decided.

…

From the next day, Evin went back to his usual schedule, but he was much more aware of the Voice. The Voice was acting as if nothing had happened the previous day, sometimes offering its insights on the subjects that Evin was learning, but mostly making a joke of someone else.

Things were peaceful inside Evin's head and he was willing to keep things that way. For now. Although he had decided to put his life back under his control, he figured that lashing out at the Voice, demanding respect and subservience wasn't the best of methods. If he learned one good thing from the Voice, it was to think carefully before acting if the situation allowed.

And after a night of thinking, Evin realized that he had become much too dependent on the Voice. It didn't just help him cast spells; it helped him remember the contents of classes, it even helped Evin speak to other people. So the first thing he needed to do was to wrest back some of the control he had over his life. To become independent.

He'd focus more on his classes himself, he'd try his best to pick the best words for certain situations and eventually, he'd learn to cast spells on the same level as the Voice. Until then, he'd still be nice and friendly to it. The only worry he was what would happen when the Voice refused to teach him about science. Evin was sure that it would figure out his stance on their association and he was fairly sure that it wouldn't like it.

So far, Evin learned many things from the Voice, but he knew that what he knew barely covered the full extent of its knowledge. But thankfully, he found what he believed was the perfect solution when he began his classes under the Cosmic.

Rith brought Evin to her new house and had him absorb the Shard of Therae – which was a powdery golden substance which Evin had to snort in – and as Evin felt its effects on his body, she started to explain how she was going to teach her class.

Rith put a pile of books written in Imperial in front of Evin and asked, "These books will teach you about Geometry, have you heard of the term?"

"No," Evin replied, but after Rith explained bits and pieces of it, he realized that it was a subject that the Voice had mentioned before. It also recognized it.

<Ah, geometry. Of course, that would be the path to creating portals and whatnot. Ask her about the Cosmics thoughts on the elements that build the world.>

Evin disliked being ordered around, but he hid it and asked, "I'd have thought that the Cosmics would learn to control a Space element, or something along those lines to use the World of Space."

Rith smiled and asked back, "From the condescending tone you take, I can see that you know the inefficiency of those 'elements' the humanoids love so much."

Evin gulped, wondering if he'd given up too much.

But Rith only shrugged and explained. "Don't worry about us revealing your secrets to the kingdom. We've been keeping it from them for the past 200 years. I know we had a pretty serious talk yesterday about you keeping your secrets to yourself, but it's not like I'm going to change what I teach you because of it. Eventually we'd realize we were separately keeping the same secret."

"How do you cast the spells of other Worlds?" Evin asked, trying to dig out more information from the Cosmic.

"Still don't trust me? Then you shouldn't find it unfair that I choose to not tell you," Rith shrugged. "My only duty is to teach you the World of Space and nothing more."

Evin understood that he'd acted rudely. "I'm sorry," he apologized, but he didn't say anything else.

<Ask her how you can earn her trust,> the Voice said.

Evin thought about the order and replied, <We'll ask her about how the Cosmics cast spells if we really need to. For now, let's focus on keeping good relations with her.>

<I guess that works as well,> the Voice replied, not really caring.

Evin felt happy he was able to deny the Voice's commands and relished the idea that he would do it many times in the future.

"No harm done. Let's just focus on geometry," Rith said and officially started her class.

Evin quickly realized that he enjoyed geometry. It was a rigid subject that dealt only in absolutes like math, but Evin enjoyed finding solutions and not having to think whether the answer is truly right or not, like he sometimes did in history or society.

Rith was a good teacher. She was always observant of her student and every time Evin found something he didn't understand, Rith would explain the current topic through other perspectives or used other terminologies. She would do this until Evin understood what he needed to and the two would move on.

At the end of the lesson, Rith told Evin to practice using the Space energies to create a mental map of his surroundings. Evin would need to think of himself as the center of a two-dimensional plane and think of every other object and person as different dots on it and always be aware of them. Apparently, the Space energies were going to help him with that. She explained that, eventually, the 2D plane would become 3D coordinate systems and Evin would learn how to be aware of shapes, heights, widths and movements of others.

And at that point, she would teach him how to create portals inside these 3D Systems.

"But don't try to create portals before that point," Rith finished her lesson with a warning. "I'm not afraid of you failing to create a portal, I'm afraid of you succeeding."