Demon Lord Shapeshifting System

Chapter 219 I Do Not Know

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By the time his wristwatch showed 3:33 am, Roland finally stood up from the elephant skin sofa and called out to the dark hallway with rainbow lights. 

"Harker! Mr. Ivanovich! Anyone!?"

But nobody responded. 

He gritted his teeth. He should go out there, but…

Since when had he been so hesitant? He was ready to do anything for the sake of his friend, but now, just thinking about what might await him at the end of the seemingly endless hallway made his hand clammy. He couldn't even take another step without a drop of sweat trickling down every time. 

He had always thought that he wasn't afraid of death.

But there were fates worse than death. He had almost suffered it himself. 

He was almost stuck in his own body with someone else taking control of it. Someone else replaced him. And it was so much more terrible than the pain of being slaughtered, or the pain of the endless slumber that would end him.

What if he put himself in that situation again?

He kicked at the poor furniture that was once a living, breathing animal. Or at least part of it. 

He will NOT be taxidermied in his own skin. 

Yet he can't just do nothing. Harker was out there, and.... 

"He's not the same anymore." Roland sat back down, hugging himself tightly. 

The Harker he once knew…. He's gone. He had changed. He met the enemies, allies, gained new aspirations, traits... personality. He remembered before how he said it was a good change for him. That he was no longer being stuck in his 'I just want to be normal' routine. 

Because normal doesn't truly exist. Normal was a concept that humans made in order to ostracize and make those different from them to be inferior. 

They would exile those who do not walk the same paths as them. Because the truth was that they were scared to admit that humanity was not just about them, that people weren't just those who wear the same face and share the same thoughts and beliefs.

The 'Other' had always been a threat.

But even though it was true... Even though Roland believed there was really no such thing as 'normal' beyond a human construct…. He was still afraid. 

Afraid of what his friend has become, and will become in the future. 

For the same thing may very well happen to him too.

"Roland?"

He looked up. That voice was familiar, the most familiar it had been for these past few…. Days? Weeks? Months?

He knew that voice. It was him, at least a sliver of him.

Roland was giggling like a child while his whole body shook. "H-Hello, Harker…. You're here…. You're here….."

Harker quickly went by his side. "Yes, I'm here now! I'm safe! What's wrong? Why are you… Are you alright?"

Roland didn't answer and just shook his head. He tried his best to stay calm, but his whole body felt like it was sinking.

It was like he was about to make a drop from a rollercoaster, but it never came. Only that constant twisting of his muscles and his innards as he anticipated for something that will never come, that wasn't really there. The fear that was beyond reason.

"I think I'm just…. Just…." He tried to calm his breathing. 

Harker furrowed his brows. Was he having a panic attack?

He had never seen Roland like this before, but he had experienced it a few times in his life. He placed his hand on his shoulder and continued talking to him in that calm tone. 

"Hey... Listen to me. You're alright. I'm alright. You're not alone, I'm—"

Roland suddenly softly whispered. "Can you just leave me for a while? B-But not here…. I…. I don't like it here.... I want to go home."

Harker doesn't feel disappointed. He wished he could have been able to help Roland get through it all. But he couldn't, and so the best he could do was to do as he said. 

"Of course. Do you want me to…. help you walk….."

Roland shook his head and tried to stand. But his whole body was still shivering, and he was drenched in sweat. Harker eventually had to sweep in and support him before he could collapse. 

His friend didn't try to be stubborn anymore, and let him half-carry, half-drag him out of that shady bar. They soon felt the fresh air of the outside on their face, that familiar breeze that gave them a bit of comfort in its familiarity. 

"I'll see you tomorrow. I got the clue but…. For now, I just want you to rest." Harker said as he gently set him down on the chair of the limousine. "I really just want you to be okay."

Roland barely gave a nod, and he continued to space out in that gut-twisting dread he was in. Harker closed the door with a sigh and drove him back home. He had the servants bring him to his room and call out for Dr. Rothstein for any help.

This had been a really long night. So many things had happened in just a single day, yet he also felt unsatisfied. He hadn't gotten any sleep but his mind was still uneasy. 

As he was giving directions to the people in the kitchen to bring Roland some water, he felt the sense that someone was watching him.

He turned around, and realized that all this time, he really was being watched. And it was a familiar face too.

Adam Fiero kept his eyes on him, with a level of distrust that Harker felt quite unwarranted. 

Sure, he knocked the guy out and pretended to be him. But he had a job now at Faust Residence, and he was probably doing okay, right? So what's with the glance...

"It's coming closer." He said all of a sudden, almost to himself. 

"What?" Harker asked. 

The large man just regarded him up and down, then shook his head. 

"When the Darkness claims you back into its embrace, don't take the Light with you. Don't forget who you were, though you must not also be stuck in the past. It's always there. Use it as your guide, though it deceives you."

Harker frowned at all these vague mumblings. Adam didn't seem to actually want him to listen, or at least he thought there was no point whether or not Harker was listening.

He went instead to join Dr. Evan Sonione, who was given some pills and instructions by Dr. Rothstein on how to deal with Roland's panic attack. The jittery scientist was a stark difference from this overly quiet and apathetic man, so they were truly a strange sight to see together.

Harker went on his way home, still feeling like his brain was so full it could explode. 

"I just don't know what's going on anymore. Maybe I never did."