Chapter 183: Chapter 183- Start From Scratch
Chapter 183: Chapter 183- Start From Scratch
Inhaling a very long breath, Sophie tried to calm down her racing heart. But, it only made her even more excited for some reason. Just being in this position, with his arms around her body was more than enough to send her flying, let alone when he gave her a smile like that. Her heart couldn't handle that overload.
Talon was completely oblivious to that fat and slowly put her down. "You can move, right?" He asked.
"Huh? Oh, y-yeah, I can…" She replied with a timid expression as she turned around and tried to pretend like nothing happened.
"Good. Well, I guess we should be done here." Talon looked around him as he declared.
"What? Shouldn't we check the nest first?"
"Yeah, we probably should. But, I'm sure we won't find any more rats there."
'Azure Flames are still burning somewhere which means rats are still dying. The chain reaction should be more than enough to take care of the rest of the monsters. But, for measures, we should check the nest.' He thought to himself before he started walking.
"Put your mask on, this might be the most disgusting part to do." He warned Sophie before he adjusted the gas mask on his face.
"Roger that!"
The duo continued walking through the dirty tunnels while trying their best to avoid all the nasty things in their way. The smell was already unbearable as it was so they didn't want to end up smelling like waste after leaving this place.
"How are we going to know where the nest is, though?" Sophie asked.
"I can still feel my Azure Flames burning. If we follow it, we would probably end up in the nest." He replied.
"Oh, Azure Flames? That's a very cool name." Sophie said. "The fact that they killed so many rats is even more terrifying."
"It's one of my strongest abilities. But, it could be as harmful to me as it could be to my target so I have to be careful when using it."
'Not that I really followed that rule. I almost killed myself multiple times using a variation of this flame.' Talon sighed.
"Oh, is that so…" Sophie murmured.
Then, she went completely silent. The only sound that penetrated the dark tunnels was the sound of their footsteps as they walked. The atmosphere was not tense but there was still some awkwardness that Sophie could feel between them.
Her lips pursed as she looked down. She didn't know what to do at that moment. Her mind which was usually very good at coming up with logical solutions to all kinds of situations refused to help at that moment. She wanted to go back to being normal with Talon and yet didn't know how.
But, she knew that it wasn't as easy as that. After 5 years of misunderstandings, Sophie felt that it wasn't going to be an easy task to fix this gap that was created between them.
'He is already becoming a great figure and he is still growing… Does that mean that we can finally be together without having to worry about the differences between us?'
In reality, Sophie had never realized that her presence in Talon's life harmed him that greatly. She was simply delighted to see him whenever she could and she never put much thought into what consequences her relationship could have on her beloved.
After all, in her eyes, Talon was the best human being she had ever met. She never wanted him to be someone great or some kind of important figure by any means, all she wanted was for him to remain the same. But, yesterday, she realized that she was simply being selfish.
'Talon isn't some kind of instrument I can tune to any wave I want. He is his own person… Why did I never realize that myself?'
The more she thought about it, the more she realized how badly mistaken she was. She was too drowned in their happy moments to notice that her partner wasn't doing well. While she rose to stardom and achieved new heights, he lived a life that many would consider to be unfortunate.
She did try to help him out of that life and bring him along with her. But, her father never allowed her to give him money or help him in any way.
'If he's a man, he should develop himself on his own. If you give him money, he will only learn how to use you for his own benefit.' He said to her again and again.
Since she was still unable to control her own money at the time, she could never defy her father's orders.
'I was completely blind to all of this… How did I not even notice? How can I be this stupid?' Clenching her fists tightly, Sophie felt her heart squeeze. 'I was the reason why our relationship ended… And I had the audacity to question him like that…'
"Sophie?" At that moment, a soothing voice woke her up from her own thoughts. Looking up with clouded eyes, she saw Talon staring at her confusedly. "Is everything ok?"
Seeing the concern in his eyes, she could only feel her heart squeezing even harder.
'I gave him so much pain without knowing… I'm a horrible person...'
"I'm sorry…" Looking down, she murmured.
"Huh? Sorry for what?"
"I'm sorry… I'm really sorry, Talon… I'm really sorry…" Tears welled up in her eyes. "I didn't know… I didn't realize the problem… I was completely blind… Please, forgive me…"
Talon frowned as he looked behind him before he approached her. "Hey, hey, what mistake?"
"If I was a little smarter… We wouldn't have ended up like that… I'm so stupid! So fucking foolish!"
Realizing what she was talking about, Talon blinked. 'Why did she suddenly remember that? She was fine a second ago.'
"Please, forgive me… Forgive me…"
Seeing Sophie crying silently, he could only feel bitter. She was never someone to cry that easily, and yet, he had made her cry twice in two days.
"I told you before, didn't I? It was never your mistake. I was just an insecure mess, if I was a little more confident, everything would've been well. Don't think that you have any fault in this." He said after a few seconds.
"But… I acted as if nothing happened… If I knew that it hurt you this much, I would've left acting long ago."
"No, I'm not worth it. That's your dream!" He shook his head.
"No, you are worth it. You're worth everything to me… For the past 5 years, I felt completely empty. My daily life was devoid of meaning and to be honest, I contemplated ending it all… I couldn't live without you…"
Hearing that, Talon's face darkened greatly.
"But, I couldn't bring myself to end my life… And I'm glad I didn't…" She smiled slightly as she shook her head. "Acting is my passion and I love doing it. But, you're one of the reasons why I love my life. Without you, it loses whatever taste it had."
"..."
"I know I was selfish and I did hurt you… But, I want to be even more selfish and request something from you now…"
"What is it?"
"Let's scratch everything and start again." Looking up, Sophie said. "Now I understand what I did wrong and I want to fix it. Of course, I won't force you to get back to me. But, I still want to try again, one last time... As friends, just like when we were still kids."
Her beautiful voice sounded far more hopeful than ever before. Talon could see all the emotions Sophie was feeling through her eyes. He knew that he couldn't refuse such a look even if he didn't want to. But, he still had one problem…
"I don't mind. But, I must warn you beforehand. Because of what might happen in the future… A relationship between us might not be possible…" He said as he looked away. "For many reasons, I will have to leave on my own for a while in the future. I don't know how long, but it might take months or even years. I don't want to make a promise and then break it."
'I have too many things I need to do…'
Sophie stared at him silently with an incomprehensible expression.
"But, I can promise that after everything is over… I will try to-"
"Shh, it's fine." At that moment, Sophie shook her head with a small smile on her face. "I know what you mean and I don't mind just being friends till you're finally ready to accept me."
"... Really?"
"Yes, as long as I'm beside you, I don't mind what relationship we have."
"..." Talon opened his mouth to speak only to close it again speechlessly. He could not find the words to describe how he felt at that moment. Even though he didn't give her any promises, Sophie still wanted to be with him.
'Do I even deserve all of this?' He asked himself before he shook his head. 'No, I don't need an answer to that. I will make sure to pay her back for accepting me even for all my flaws.'
A//N: Don't forget to support the book if you enjoyed reading ?