Dungeon Defense (WN)

Chapter 252: Fastest Man in the World

Chapter 252: Fastest Man in the World

I took off the black mantle that was wrapped around my shoulders.

“…….”

The girl closed her eyes tightly. It looked like she was resigning herself to her fate. It seems she was misunderstanding something because I had taken off a layer of my clothes.

I held back my laugh as I approached her. I realized once more how blindingly beautiful the girl in front of me was once I was only a single step away from her. Well, it might have been blinding simply because her outer appearance was that of a young girl.

I took my pipe out of my mantle and put it into my pant pocket.

I carefully placed my mantle around her pale, naked body.

“……?”

Ivar Lodbrok cautiously opened her eyes. She looked up at me. Her eyes made it clear that my actions were completely unexpected. A casual smile appeared on my lips.

“It’d be troubling if I were to let a lady catch a cold.”

“……I was certain that Your Highness would covet this young girl’s body.”

“Hah? Why would I do something like that? I’m no louse.”

What a ridiculous assumption.

Ivar Lodbrok furrowed her brows once I gave her that response.

“My apologies, but don’t you prefer younger women, Your Highness? I was absolutely certain that that was the case after considering your relationship with Her Highness Barbatos and the young girl whom you have as your servant.”

“That is absolutely incorrect.”

Why is slander unregulated and allowed to run rampant in the world? I don’t get it.

“I prefer mature women. Even if that were my preference, I am not so foolish as to sexually harass the head of Keuncuska. Is this not obvious?”

“Mm. I see, so was the report incorrect?”

Ivar Lodbrok stroked her chin as if there were a beard there.

I gave her a puzzled look. It was then that she noticed what she was doing and stopped her hand. Ivar Lodbrok cleared her throat awkwardly as she wrapped the mantle around herself properly.

“Hm. It has been such a long time since I was in my main body that I have picked up some weird habits. Pardon me.”

It wasn’t only her body gestures, but the way she spoke was also no different from that of an old man. It was rather entertaining since it felt like I was watching a little girl trying to act like an adult.

“It is fine. All things considered, I bear the responsibility since I am the one who made you reveal yourself like this. Well, putting that aside. You really do not know how to treat a guest.”

I plopped myself down on the sofa next to me.

“You have yet to bring out even a single cup of wine! How do you expect me to get along with you like this?”

“Your Highness, did you truly come all the way here to have a drink with me?”

Ivar Lodbrok was staring right at me while holding the mantle with both of her hands. It seems she hasn’t fully grasped the situation yet.

“What about it? Did you think I wanted to meet with your true form in order to grab hold of your weakness? I’ve told you this several times already, but I only wish to get along with you.”

I grinned.

“I am looking forward to seeing what sort of luxurious wine the head of Keuncuska will bring out for her guest. Please don’t disappoint me. I’m looking forward to it a lot.”

Now then.

Let the games begin.

* * *

It’s a rather surprising fact, but I’ve never met a heroine from <Dungeon Attack>!

Of course, I’ve met a lot of female characters from the game. However, not a single one of them was a main heroine.

Mortifyingly, every last character that I had formed a relationship with was a part of the side that was hostile to the main protagonist……!

Laura de Farnese was affiliated with Brittany which was blatantly hostile to the protagonist.

Barbatos, Paimon, Sitri, and Gamigin were Demon Lords, so they were naturally impossible to romance.

I’ve conquered every route for the heroines that appeared in the game. I knew better than anyone else how to coquet with them. Regardless, this meant that I obviously didn’t know how to conquer the women who weren’t heroines!

I took a sip of wine and smiled bitterly.

‘Thanks to that, Barbatos, Paimon, and Sitri’s affections are all stuck at 50.’

Dungeon Attack was really a shitty game.

Every heroine had a type of ‘Affection Lock’. This was also a rather complex system, but if I were to summarize it, you have to complete a specific quest in order to go over the first cap of 50 affection and then the next cap of 99.

The prerequisite quest was different for each heroine. Players would have to go through all sorts of repetitive grinding in order to conquer certain heroines since the game gave almost no hints.

However, I know them all.

Trying to figure out the quests for the main heroines was so difficult that only a small number of guides even appeared on the forums. There were dozens of posts from people whining about wanting to see the H-scenes faster.

I know them all.

Not only were there a total of 72 major and minor heroines in total, but it was practically impossible to know how to conquer every single heroine since some of them had absurd conditions like, in the case of Imperial Princess Elizabeth, you had to beat Baal, the hidden boss, in order to go down her True Route.

Nevertheless, I know them all!

I’m the game fanatic who grinded like crazy just to see Elizabeth’s true ending.

“Haha, this alcohol has a special taste. As expected of Keuncuska.”

“I am relieved to hear that you like it.”

What is there to hide?

Ivar Lodbrok who was currently drinking high-quality wine in front of me……was naturally one of the heroines for whom I had memorized the Affection Lock sequence!

Ooh. O Goddess?.

It was impossible to not be moved. As a priest of the Goddess Artemis, I could only be grateful for the blessing and fortune that filled the world.

I have honestly been waiting for an opportunity like this. Seriously, the fact that I haven’t been able to have sex with any of the heroines after falling into my favorite game was the most ridiculous thing ever!

“Kuh. It’s been a long time since I’ve gotten drunk. Come on now. You should also have another glass!”

“Of course, Your Highness.”

The night was getting deeper.

Ivar Lodbrok and I were both getting drunker.

Both Demon Lords and vampires have very high tolerances against alcohol. Their regenerative powers prevent them from getting intoxicated. Because of this, a strange type of competitive spirit formed between us as we proceeded to fill our stomachs with alcohol as if we were drinking water.

Ivar Lodbrok probably thinks we’re simply drinking right now. We’ve been chatting for more than three hours and she had yet to lower her guard since she was wondering when I was going to reveal my true face.

‘Sorry, Ivar, but the game has already begun.’

I smiled contently in my mind.

The first hurdle to conquer Ivar Lodbrok, the vampire puppet master. There are 4 conditions standing in the way of this hurdle.

First condition – The player character and Ivar Lodbrok must be drinking ‘alone together’.

Second condition – More than ‘three hours’ must have passed in the game since the player character and Ivar Lodbrok started drinking together.

Third condition – At least ‘one year’ in the game must have passed since the player character met Ivar Lodbrok.

Fourth condition – The player character must hear a ‘certain story’ from Ivar Lodbrok.

Originally, your affection with a heroine had to be fairly high in order to have a drink with them alone. There’s no way that a man and a woman would be able to drink together late at night if they don’t have affection, right?

The problem is the fact that raising Ivar Lodbrok’s affection in itself is incredibly difficult. It’s apparent when you consider the fact that her affection hasn’t reached 20 even though I’ve known her for almost 3 years. You should be able to grasp how difficult this is.

However.

‘My prestige allows me to drink with the other party regardless of her affection.’

Should I call this a cheat? I was able to create a shortcut and accomplish something that was normally strictly restricted within the game system. How long a heroine drinks with you was also determined by their affection, but I was able to easily satisfy this condition as well.

‘Let’s satisfy the fourth and final condition.’

I pretended as if I were completely drunk as I proceeded to speak.

“I’m saying this since it’s just us two, but……kuku. Demon Lords are real fucking bastards. They’re assholes.”

“Your Highness?”

“I mean, you know as well, don’t you? Look. A long time has already passed since the 8th Crescent Alliance was wrapped up. Despite this, I’m still Rank 71 even though I probably made the biggest contributions……. Do you know what this means?”

Ivar Lodbrok closed her mouth tightly.

This was a politically sensitive issue and she was probably uncertain about whether I was actually drunk or not yet. I acted even drunker as I started to shout. I actually was a little drunk.

“Baal is fair? Even bullshit sounds fairer than that. I don’t know why, but he doesn’t want to raise my rank. Damn it. Be it Baal or anyone else, Demon Lords are all selfish and arrogant bastards in the end……!”

“…….”

Ivar Lodbrok carefully opened her mouth.

“Do not grieve too much. There are still people like Barbatos and Sitri, right?”

“Oh? You aren’t listening to me. I said that they’re all selfish and arrogant!”

I acted as if I were angry as I showed my left hand.

“Look. I don’t have two fingers, right? I lost them because Barbatos asked for them.”

“Pardon me?”

“It was something about wanting proof of love. She wanted to cherish a promise that proved that she was the most important person to me. My fingers were cut off for a selfish reason like that. I heard she turned them into a necklace and wears them around.”

I grabbed a bottle of wine and drank straight from it.

“Kuh. What can I do? Barbatos is no different from being my owner……. I can’t offend her. If she wants my fingers, my toes, or even my eye, I have no choice but to let her have them……. They’re all selfish. All of them…….”

“……Your Highness, you are exaggerating.”

A shadow cast over Ivar Lodbrok’s complexion.

I had a feeling the other party was slowly taking the bait.

“Exaggerating? Nonsense! If I could choose, then I wouldn’t have chosen to be born as a Demon Lord. Demon Lord! Realizing the ideals of demonkind my ass!”

I muttered.

“This race makes no sense. People should realize their ideals on their own……. That is what makes ideals meaningful. Demon Lords are a mistake from birth. They are like an error in this world……or whatever.”

“…….”

“Honestly, the only difference between demons and humans is the fact whether Demon Lords can read their emotions or not. That’s it……. In other words, if Demon Lords didn’t exist, then humans and demons are practically the same?.”

“Your Highness!”

Ivar Lodbrok shouted.

“If you say any more than that, then you will be going too far!”

“……Is that so? Have I gone too far?”

I smiled bitterly.

“But that is the truth. I personally do not know why Demon Lords exist……. We are simply politicians. We scheme, push people down, and incite the masses with our speeches like all other politicians……. That is all we do. And yet, I’m the one who has gone too far……?”

I dropped my head.

“But, aren’t Demon Lords the ones who truly have gone too far? A countless number of demons and monsters have lost their lives because of the nonsense prattled on by Demon Lords……. Ivar Lodbrok, even when I’m drunk, I can confidently say which side has gone too far…….very clearly……..”

A moment of silence went by. The two of us drank in silence.

How much time had passed, I wonder?

A voice came from where Ivar Lodbrok was sitting.

“……Your Highness, do you truly think that?”

Good.

I smiled broadly in my mind.

***

TL Note: Thanks for reading the chapter. Welp, next chapter will definitely be delayed. The day has finally come. My brother is getting married tomorrow. I’m already dreading it. I’m definitely happy for him, but I don’t like the idea of going there early and just standing around doing nothing for hours. I’ll try to suck it up, I guess.

In any case, I’ll see you guys after my brother’s wedding.