Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide to Reincarnating in Another World

Chapter 201 - 200 - Seasick

Chapter 201 - 200 - Seasick

"I...think...I'm going to be sick...," Groaned Fuo, her face pale.

"No surprise there, you've been sick pretty much nonstop for the past couple of weeks."

"Shut up...you-...," She began to retort, before trailing off as she covered her mouth with a nauseous expression, her face pale.

We had been at sea for two whole weeks now, heading northeast from the port to the north of the Goldlands. And Fuo had been seasick the whole time. Yeah, I really though it wouldn't take this long to get to Platinberg. It had been twenty-five days since we initially set off from the Rustlands, today was the 21st of August. I'd used my Eyes of Compulsion to get one of the fisherman to steer the boat we stole and take us to Platinberg.

It's too bad this was taking longer than anticipated. Well, I guess I was dumb to expect more from a wooden boat. It was fairly big, with a small cabin in the middle, so space wasn't really a problem, but it was tough not to feel impatient. It was pretty slow going, the wind was rarely in our favor, so we weren't able to utilize the sails to their fullest.

As for monsters, we hardly ran into any. From what I've read, as well as Lazarus's input, sea monsters prefer to attack aquatic mammals like dolphins and whales, and wouldn't attack humans very often. So far, we'd encountered less than one monster per day, having faced one Blade Octopus, two Sea Serpents, three Flying Stingrays, three Aqua Wyverns and two Devilsharks.

There are eight monster types that live in or by the sea, the three types that we hadn't encountered so far were Ripper Crabs, Lightning Jellyfish and Poison Eels. I couldn't really say if these monsters were strong or not, even after fighting them...since we couldn't afford to sustain any damage to the boat, I entered Vampire God Mode and took out any monsters the instant they appeared, and all of them died after taking a single hit, so yeah.

"Hey...are we...there yet?" Groaned Fuo, rolling on the deck of the boat while clutching her stomach.

"According to Lazarus, we're about eighty percent closer than we were when we first set sail."

"Heh, that sounded funny, when you just said 'we were when we', four Ws in a row...I think I'm starting to lose my mind," She chuckled, before wincing as another wave of nausea hit her.

Can't lie, I feel bad for her...but also, it was kinda funny...

"Yeah, that's called alliteration. Wait, can't you just ask Atticus how close we are? I mean, he can sense Vampires too, after all."

"Oh...he never mentioned that...now he's saying that he can't think straight since he feels my seasickness too..."

"Give him my condolences...I bet he's the first Vampire to ever get seasick."

She wasn't listening though, she was too busy puking over the side of the boat.

"Damn it...isn't there...a way...for us to...get there faster?"

Yeah, I wish...too bad this world didn't have engines or motorboats-...wait, hold on, what if I...?

"Hey, there's something I can try, it might be able to get us there faster...," I remarked, walking over to the back of the boat and entering Vampire God Mode.

Alright, I'll need my magic at its strongest for this to work. I extended my arms forward and widened the size of my palms using my Healing Factor, forming swirling masses of wind and water, before blasting them straight behind the boat with as much force as I could generate...

...yes, it's working, we're moving way faster! If this world doesn't have motors for boats, I'll just be the motor myself. I can only keep this up for a minute, but looking at the massive speed boost this was giving us in this form, this technique should generate some decent speed even in regular Vampire Mode, which I can maintain for ten minutes.

"Wha-!? H-hey, slow down...this is...too bumpy-...wait, no, d-don't slow down...but just...just get us there quickl-...!" Fuo yelled weakly, before trailing off as she emptied out her guts over the side of the boat again.

"What? Didn't quite catch that!" I responded, as I continued to blast wind and water out of my palms.

This is gonna take a fair bit of Mana, but considering the amount of distance that we could cover this way in a short time, it was going to be totally worth it. Alright, time for me to get to work...

...

...

Five hours later, thanks to my efforts, we finally hit the shore. Fuo was practically crying tears of joy, rolling about on the ground. Yeah, I think she really did lose her mind a bit, but to be fair, she was seasick for two weeks straight. Since we weren't going to be heading back the same way, I used my Eyes of Compulsion to command the guy who brought us here to head back, and once he gets back to the Goodlands, the effects of my Cross will fade.

"That was pretty hard on you, huh?" I remarked, tapping Fuo's shoulder as she lay on the sand with a blissful expression.

"Yeah...I'm never ever going on a boat ever again. My insides still hurt from heaving so much...why didn't you do that thing right from the start, we would have gotten here days ago!" She complained, glaring at me weakly.

"Well, first off, I didn't think it'd take this long to sail here to begin with, and second, I didn't think of it, I only came up with the idea like literally right before I actually tried it out. For your sake, it's a good thing it worked, huh?"

"Whatever...after we're done hunting the monster king in Platinberg, we're walking back, right? We're not going back by sea, right?" She asked me with a look of concern.

Wow, she just might be traumatized by the sea now...

"Yeah, we'll travel south from Platinberg, through the mountain range leading to Silvland. We'll go around Silvland till we're at the snowy area, and from there, it's home free, baby," I declared with a grin.

"Ew, don't call me baby."

"It's just a saying, chill. So, you ready to head out n-?"

"Of course not! I need to get some rest before we continue!" She snapped immediately.

Well, I had used a fair bit of my Mana with those water and wind jets, so I guess a bit of rest wouldn't hurt. After all, Platinberg was Vampire territory now, so we can't be too careful. I had no intention of fighting any of them, but if I came across one with a useful Cross, I might consume their life force...I wasn't going to go actively looking for one though, there were now less than two hundred Vampires left alive, so finding a specific target inside a whole nation would take way too long.

"Fine, let's rest up first. We do still have plenty of time, after all," I relented with a sigh, as I walked over to a palm-tree and sat down in it's shade.

This beach is warmer than the one near the Goldlands, it kinda reminded me of the Caribbean. I knocked on the tree firmly with the back of my fist, a couple of coconuts dropping down as I did. I caught them and cracked one open, gulping down the liquid inside.

Looks like Fuo had finally decided to find some shade too, she'd been laying out right under the sun this whole time. After looking around a bit, she decided to walk over to me, and sat down on the opposite side of the base of the tree, her back to me.

"Can I, um...have one?" She asked awkwardly, turning her head and staring at the coconuts I knocked down.

It's not like she couldn't get them herself, since she can fly and all, but I guess I'll keep quiet for once. There were dark circles under her eyes, she looked a bit thinner and she was pretty pale...yeah, the last two weeks definitely took a heavy toll on her, huh?

"Sure, help yourself. Mind making some ice?"

"No, I don't mind," she replied, forming a few ice cubes and dropping them into the open coconut I was holding.

This almost felt like a vacation...drinking chilled coconut milk under the shade on a beach...too bad I can't fully enjoy it. No matter how hard I try to distract myself, at the back of my mind, I just can't stop thinking about the whole imposter situation...I had no way of knowing what was going on back in the Rustlands, and worrying about it won't change that fact, but still...I just couldn't help but worry...

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Point-of-View: Shiro Blanc

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"Right, so the situation might be worse than I thought, we need to be more proactive. Right now, my imposter is in Platinberg, and if he consumes a significant amount of Vampire life force, he may become too powerful even for me. That's why I should go and ambush him before he gets back here, the rest of you should all stay here in case I lose or-."

"Not happening, we already decided that we won't let you do this alone!" Interrupted Rai immediately.

"That's right, you're not going after him by yourself," Nodded Persia in agreement.

These idiots are way too easy to play...they're proving to be some pretty useful tools for me to win this battle. After I sensed that Kuro was in Platinberg, I called over some of his friends. After that first fight by the Goblin cave, I saw to it that the news of the existence of my 'imposter' was spread throughout the Rustlands, and a few days after Kuro disappeared and I still couldn't see any sign of Fuo, I decided to take a gamble...

I told the others that I spoke to Atticus, as he might have some insight since, according to my bogus explanation on how the 'imposter' was created, this situation arose because of the Vampires. I then went on to say that he and Fuo had volunteered to spy on Kuro using a Stealth barrier, and did exactly that, despite my protests.

I put on a show of guilt and regret, saying stuff like 'I should have stopped them' and crap like that, and I think I did a pretty good acting job, the others didn't seem to doubt me for even a second. I then said that there were three possibilities, that Fuo was either dead, brainwashed by Kuro, or imprisoned by him.

It's really something, how much these people trust Kuro...so far, no one had even tried to analyze or poke holes in my story about how the 'imposter' was created. They didn't doubt me even for a second, and I was using that to my advantage to the fullest. Persia, Azyl, Rai, Key and Ekai were all insisting on tagging along, with plenty of others happy to volunteer if I asked. Selesa, Les, Gela and the three remaining Retribution Tier members, to be specific.

Those three were a bit of a surprise, but I had noticed that Rai was quite friendly towards Rion and Rex, and looking back at my original's memories, Azeria had looked pretty resigned to being executed before she found out that she and the other two weren't going to be killed, so I guess she's probably helping out since she's grateful to be alive, and Kuro assuring the higher ups that she isn't likely to be a threat was certainly a significant factor in that. Heh, but right now, she thinks she owes me that gratitude, not him.

Getting back to the matter at hand, Kuro's current presence in Platinberg was a major concern, if he shows up with more powerful Vampire Crosses, I'll lose my advantage...what's more, that thing he did before, making Goblins appear out of thin air...that had me even more concerned. Having gone through all his past memories, I could only draw one conclusion...he had consumed the life force of the Goblin King.

Lazarus had mentioned that the other monster kings are all currently in hiding, and he knows where each of them are, or at least, he's capable of sending where they are...taking that into consideration, the chances that Kuro would hunt them down and consume their life force in order to get stronger was pretty high.

I have no way to sense where the monster kings, so I can't do the same. Even worse, what if he uses his remaining King's Decrees to get the Vampires under his command? I don't have any King's Decrees to counter him if he does, he has both the remaining Decrees...but wait, he doesn't know that, and so long as the possibility that I have two Decrees as well is in his mind, he won't risk using him...I hope.

Anyway, because of these concerns, after I convinced not-God yesterday to give me the ability to sense Kuro's location and I sensed him in Platinberg, I decided that I had to make a move before it's too late. I'll ambush him along with his friends and allies, and then I'll kill him...that'll solidify my existence and soul in this world, and I'll be free to do as I please after that.

"Fine, I won't argue with you guys...you can come along, but make sure you keep your distance and only back me up, don't fight him directly," I sighed, as if I was reluctantly relenting.

"Sheesh, have some confidence in us, dude!" Exclaimed Rai, smacking me on the back with a grin.

Tch, he's so annoying, I'll definitely kill him once Kuro's dead and I no longer have to worry about the handicap he put on me.

"It's not that I don't have confidence in you guys, but let me ask you this...could you defeat me?"

"...yeah, probably not."

"Right, and my imposter will be fighting with full intent to kill, and as you saw when we faced him at the Goblin cave, he has an ability that I don't, he can somehow control Goblins...and he might have gotten even stronger. That's why I'd really prefer to do this myself, because I can't guarantee that I can protect anyone against him."

"I believe that you have a good point there...perhaps it would be best if only a few of us, those strong enough to hold their own against your level of power, come with you," Nodded Ekai in agreement.

Tch, that means less meatshields, my act backfired...but there's no way that I can argue against that, because Kuro would definitely agree to it, in fact, he'd likely still be apprehensive and insist on going alone.

"Yeah, good point...and if too many of us are there, we might end up getting in each other's way. I'd say a group of six or seven, at most, will be ideal," I replied, after pretending to think it over.

After some debating, we agreed on the team, myself, Persia, Azyl, Ekai, Rion, Rex, Azeria and Gela. We had initially settled on the first seven, but Gela insisted that she wanted to tag along too, justifying it by pointing out that she'd defeated Rex before. I decided to leave out Rai and Key, after all...they're weak, and could end up being liabilities...not to forget, I can't just blast through them if they get in my way, thanks to the annoying handicap Kuro placed on me.

"Oh, thank goodness, I don't have to tag along," Selesa sighed in relief.

"Actually, you're welcome to come, I don't think anyone will miss you if you die," I remarked...that's probably something Kuro might say to her, I don't think he likes her very much.

"Hey, not cool! You deserve a sandpaper dildo covered in acid up your pus-filled dickhole for that!" She retorted indignantly.

"Keep saying things like that and I just might agree with Shiro," Chimed in Les, giving her an exasperated glare.

"Wha-!? That's so mean, little bro!"

"Well, anyway...," I said, getting everyone's attention again, "I'll keep track of the imposter's movements, and I'll let you all know when-."

"Hey, let's think of something to call him, saying 'the imposter' everytime is too much of a mouthful," Interrupted Rai, before suggesting, "Ooh, I know...how about Kuro?"

Wha-...no, wait, it's just a coincidence, he only went with that because it's the opposite of Shiro, calm down. I subtly glanced around to see if anyone else reacted, especially Persia...nope, no reactions to be concerned about...good, it doesn't look like that triggered anything. Looks like not-God really hadn't made any mistakes besides failing to alter Atticus's memories.

"I really couldn't care less, call him whatever you want," I shrugged indifferently, "As I was saying, I'll keep constant track of his movements. He's in Platinberg right now, and we'll plan and make our move depending on where he goes from there. Once he's on the move again, I'll let you guys know."

"Yeah, you better! Don't decide to exclude us after all at the last minute and sneak off to fight him yourself," Warned Persia with a frown.

Oh, you don't have to worry about that...

"Well...I'll try not to," I replied, averting my gaze and putting on a sheepish smile.

Either my acting is Oscar-worthy, or these people are all super gullible.

"This is pretty exciting, it's totes gonna be a lit fight! I bet we'll never see anything like it ever again!" Grinned Rion in a carefree tone.

"It hasn't even happened yet, and it could end up being an anticlimactic fight," Pointed out Azeria.

"You sure like to rain on my parade, don't you, Azzy?"

"I'm just pointing out facts."

"You guys should just fuck already," Chimed in Rex with a roll of his eyes, "Get a room."

"I'll melt your face off," She growled threateningly in response, reaching for the floor.

"Hey, could you maybe not make lava out of my apartment just to emphasize a threat?" I inquired, grabbing her wrist before she could start melting it.

What a pain, all these people are so annoying, pretending to like them was so tiring and irritating, I hate having to constantly put on an act like this...it took me a while, but I eventually got them to all leave. I can't let myself get too frustrated with having to act like Kuro would, because if I blow my cover and make them suspicious, it's all over.

Just be patient, it shouldn't be too much longer until I can kill him, and once I've taken care of that, I won't have to keep up this act anymore...hm, what's this? Looks like one of them had forgotten and left something here, there was a bag on the couch.

I walked over to it curiously and peered in...there was something inside, it looked like a...blade handle, maybe? I took it out to have a better look, and almost dropped it in surprise...it was a dildo. No doubt who this belongs though...well, whatever, I'll just throw it in the trash-...suddenly, my door swung open, and Selesa stood there, her eyes locked onto my hand.

"Huh, so I guessed right...is this yours?" I inquired, pointing it at her.

"Well, uh...yeah," She replied with a sheepish grin, walking over, "So...can I have it back?"

"I mean, it's not like I have any use for it, so-."

"Ooh, or maybe you wanna use it on me?" She suggested seductively.

Huh...she may be the biggest pervert in the world, but that aside, she's pretty hot. I don't think I have a reason to refuse...

"Yeah, sure...why not?"

"Right, I'll get going-...wait, did I hear that right? Did you just-...mfph," She began, before trailing off with a stifled moan as I pulled her close and kissing her, my hand going between her legs.

"Oh, did you say you were going? In that case, never m-," I started to say teasingly, before she cut me off by pouncing on me, pushing me onto the couch and straddling me.

"No way I'm leaving, I've been wanting this for ages!" She declared with a lick of her lips, before moving lower and pulling down my trousers, opening her mouth and sticking out her tongue...

Mm...why didn't I do this sooner? She really knows what she's doing, that fool Kuro really missed out. I then stood up and roughly turned her around, tearing off her skirt and panties as I grabbed her tail tight and pulled, eliciting a gasp and moan from her lips, as I reached forward with my other hand and cupped one of her boobs in my hand.

"Wh-what are you waiting for...hurry up and...put it-."

"Oh? If you want it so bad, why don't you beg for it?" I responded tauntingly, before leaning forward and whispering into her ear, "By the way, tell anyone about this...and I'll kill you."

"W-wow, you really like to play rough, huh? Mm, I'm begging you..."

"That's more like it," I replied with a smirk, before giving her what she wanted with a bit of force, a shiver running down her body as she moaned.

This is just a small taste of what I'm in for after I kill Kuro, all his friends will be at my mercy. Alternatively, revealing that I'm the imposter after he's dead might be fun too...yeah, I wonder what kind of expressions they'll all make when they realize that they helped me, an imposter, kill their friend? Now, there's something to look forward to...

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