Epic of Caterpillar

Chapter 1794 The Meaning Of The Cosmos

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"Sleep well, my beautiful child…"

"Mother will always be there for you~"

"Amidst this beautiful cosmos, what do you want to be?"

"Even if you want to be a little planet, or a star… Mama will always be with you~"

Hearing my mother's lullaby, I felt comforted even within this cold and endless space. The stars were my ceiling, and my mother's endless darkness were my bed.

This memory that would make someone so alienated, that would make someone feel fear… It brought so much comfort to me.

But why am I seeing this?

"Umbra, my beautiful child… I've done so many wrong things through my life… I often lament them so much. I know you don't understand what I'm talking… even so, I feel like talking to you, because I know that once you develop enough, you'll understand them."

"Muhh…"

My small self-spoke with a little baby-like voice, it was embarrassing.

…Wait, did she just said Umbra?!

Is that my actual real name?!

But why did she never… told it to me?

Maybe because she didn't wanted to offend me? Perhaps because I took a liking on my new name as Kireina…

But Umbra ain't bad at all, it is the name my beloved mother gave to me.

Geez, I'll have to reprimand her for keeping this name a secret.

"I used to be cold in the past." Sighed mother. "I used to have a child, one with The One. She was unstable, mixing the power of two Primordials into a new living being created a life with an unstable power. She needed care, and attention, but I was cold, I was… emotionless even. I didn't cared. I ended letting her go, and so did he as well."

"…"

"It was your big sister… Someone I always think about when I see your adorable little self, my dear Umbra. I always wonder where is she? What is she doing? It… It always makes me sad I couldn't amend things with her."

Mother…

"I've often attempted to call her through our connection, but I never get an answer from her, no matter how much I try to call her… It pains me to think she might be somewhere, lost and alone…"

Mother then glanced back at me.

"But my mistakes don't end there… There was also another child. Over time, with The One, we tried to make another, this time, after undergoing great changes, I thought I had emotions, that I could take care of a descendant well… Yet at the end, he was lost, I was careless…"

Mother's voice began to tremble, as if she was crying.

"I am such a bad mother… I've only brought sorrow and loneliness to my children… That's why… I… I don't want to lose you this time, dear Umbra. Mama will… will stay with you and won't let you go… no matter what."

My mother embraced me with her body, her eternal darkness was like a warm mantle.

"I love you, my dear child…"

"Uwah! Bahh… Babuh…"

However, my past self, ended acting very much like a baby, making tiny and cute noises.

"Fufufu, that's right… I guess I shouldn't be talking about these sorrowful things…" She sighed, caressing me with her darkness. "I just… I wanted to tell you about your siblings, Umbra. Because if one day… if one day you find them somewhere. I want you to… help them."

Her beautiful red eyes shone across her endlessly spiraling body.

"I hope that one day we can all gather together… Like a real family, and have… have a good time…"

Mother…

Damn it, and now look at me, having a beef against Genesis, the first child she ever had. If that stupid girl wasn't so stubborn though!

Ugh…

But I understand, mom.

I do…

Mother left behind a request, I cannot simply forget it and move forwards.

Genesis… she probably went through an awful lot, didn't she?

Well, I kind of did as well.

But still, all the beefs she has with me… I wonder how she feels now that I'm gone from there, that I am assumed dead?

Is Genesis relieved?

Or is she… sad?

Nah, there's no way she would be sad, right?

Yet… I want to go back there and confront her.

I want to tell her all these things mom wanted to tell her.

I want her to finally hear mother's apology.

She doesn't have to forgive her, no…

But at the very least, she should have the bare decency of listening to her, right?

"Babah… Mah…"

My little self, looking at mother, started to make sounds again.

"Heheh… What is it now, dear?"

"Mahh… Mam…"

"Mam? Huh?"

"Mammm…"

"Wait… Can you say it, Umbra? Can you say… can you say "mama"?"

"Mam…"

"Come on, you can do it! Say Mama!"

"Mammm… Mah!"

"Aww… Well, it's fine-"

"Mama!"

Once I said those words, mother smiled, as she hugged me and embraced me.

"Yeah, that's right… I am your mama." She said. "I'll always be…"

The vision slowly began to change, amidst my mother's embracing darkness.

I didn't wanted it to end, not at all.

I wanted to stay here… much, much longer.

But I knew this was merely a vision, perhaps a dream.

I know why it triggered as well.

This evolution… it is bringing me enlightenment through the Cosmic Attribute.

It is a special, amazing Attribute that merges all known Elements, even Chaos.

It encompasses… the very pillar of this Universe.

Perhaps of all Universes and Dimensions.

But to attain the enlightenment, I had to revisit and old memory, the memory I held the greatest connection with this element.

With the vast cosmos…

And of course, it was my childhood, those eons I spent growing slowly, bit by bit at the side of mother, which I ended forgetting when I was reincarnated in Genesis, only to regain them much later.

This is… the meaning of the Cosmos for me.

It means home, warmth, and the love of a mother.

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