Ex-Husband's Regret

Chapter 104

Chapter 104

Something wrong with me

Ava

+15 BONUS

My brain cells were totally fried.

I’ve been sitting here since Calvin left about an hour ago. I asked him if Noah could stay the night

at his house today and he agreed.

I was still trying to grasp all that I learnt today. It was too much information all at once. I didn’t

know how to handle all of it.

My phone rings. For a second I think of ignoring, but decide against it. It might be an emergency.

I swipe the screen sightlessly. I put the gadget to my ear, but don’t say a thing. My mind was

completely blank so I wait for whoever was on the other side to speak.

“Ava” she breathes. “Thank God. Are you okay? Travis told me what happened today”

Immediately I recognize her voice. Letty.

“I’m not sure, honestly” I reply in a whisper.

I still didn’t understand how Emma could be so cruel to Calvin and Gunner. I know that she always

wanted to carry Rowan’s children, but to reject her own flesh and blood because he doesn’t have

Rowan’s DNA is downright malicious.

“Travis told me you’re the one that discovered the truth and exposed Emma’s lie”

Knowing how a parent’s rejection feels like, I completely understood Gunner’s pain. I took his pain

as my own because he r ded me so much of myself.

He didn’t choose Emma to be his mother, yet she hurt him as if he was nothing. That pissed me of

and broke my heart at the same time.

“Yes. It was just by coincidence I guess”

“How? How were you able to figure it out” she asks, her voice in disbelief.

I don’t know whether it’s from finding out that Emma has a son or it’s from her inability to

understand how I came by the truth.

“His smile” I breathe. “He’s smiled at me many times before, but there was this day it just hit me

7/6

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was young snapped in my head His smile was similar to hers

“Cal never said anything before?”

“Never but when I mentioned Emma’s name, he completely froze. That gave everything away.

Also the fact that he didn’t correct me”

It still seems so surreal. I can’t imagine my life without Noah so I don’t understand how Emma

was able to live like her son didn’t exist.

“Tell me everything” she insists and I proceed to tell her everything from how it started to how we

got here.

By the time I am done, I’m crying once again. I didn’t want to project my pain, but it was really

hard.

“I didn’t know where I was going until I was at Kate’s house” I tell her. I had stopped calling her

mother a few months ago. “I felt so angry on his behalf and mine. I wanted to do something for

him. Something no one did for me when I was little and they treated me with cruel disdain. I

wanted to stand up for him and call Emma out on her behavior”

It was something I’d prayed for when I was growing up. Other parents noticed how Kate and

James treated me, yet they said nothing. Hell, even Rowan’s parents kept quiet and followed their

friends‘ lead. No one stood up for me or what was right. So I decided to do it for Gunner.

“I understand you babe. No child should suffer through how your Kate and James treated you or

how Emma treated Gunner. You were right for exposing what a bitch she is” (1

I felt so relieved. There was this part of me that felt like maybe I shouldn’t have done it. Like I

could have handled it

r, but I was so angry that I couldn’t even think straight. I couldn’t help

it. All I thought about as I drove is; Like mother, like daughter 2I was about to say something when my doll bell rung.

“Someone’s at my door, Letty. I have to go”

I felt so tired and drained. Both emotionally and physically.

“Okay. We’ll talk tomorrow. I know it has been a tiring day for you”

We both say our goodnights and hang up. I consider ignoring the person on the door. Like I said, I

was tired. I didn’t want to see anyone.

2/6

I slowly use up and ge open the door

“Rowan, what are you doing here?” I ask in surpris

I am mitpitted to see him if I am being honest, I was expecting him to be by Emma’s side,

comforting her I’m shocked that he in here instead.

“Can I come in?” he asks instead of answering.

Something must be wrong with me because I step aside and let him in. He gives me a small smile

as he enters my house.

“Is Noah asleep?” he asks while taking off his cont

“Probably, though he’s not here. Today he’ll be sleeping over at Calvin’s”

I see anger flash in his eyes at his name. For a moment I think he’s going to start a fight over Cal,

but he literally forces himself to calm down. I almost clap for him at his show of control.

“Fuck. It’s crazy how today turned out.” He pauses. “How are you holding up?”

I know and I’ve seen some massive changes in him recently, but today it’s just sort of hitting me

hard. Before he wouldn’t have cared. In fact he would have lashed out at me for hurting Emma.

Could it honestly be possible that he has changed?

I shake my head to push away those thoughts. I’m being absurd. He had nine years to change yet

he never did. It’s not possible for him to have a change of heart all of a sudden. 2

“I’m good” I say, then take a while to consider what I just said. “Scratch that. I’m definitely not

okay. I feel like I’ve been scraped raw”

He walks closer to me

pulls me in his arms. I feel his body heat. I feel him entirely. He is hard

in every place where I am soft.

I should be pushing him away, but for some reason I am not. My mind was completely empty and

numb from exhaustion. If I had been thinking clearly, I would have told him to leave.

“What can I do to ease your pain? I know this must be hard for you and not just because it

concerns Gunner”

My heart skips a bit. I’m shocked that he understands that not all of what I am feeling right now is

because of Gunner, but also because of my own pain.

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1 look at his feet, but he cups my cheek and makes me look at him.

“I don’t know, Rowan” I whisper.

He caresses my cheek softly. His fingers skimming over my cheek and neck. He then pushes a lock of my hair behind my ear.

His grey eyes clash with mine. He stares at me in a way that I used to dream about. He stares at

me like he wants. Like I am his world, which is impossible, right?

“I know of one way to distract you” he starts. “If I bend and take those pretty pink lips, will you let me?” he ask, as my heart begins to race.

I just stare at him.

‘Tell him no‘ I whisper to myself.

Say no, Ava. Push him away

I know I should, but I can’t think straight and my mouth won’t move to form the damn words.

His head descends as if in slow motion. Finally, his firm and soft lips touch mine.

Something must really be wrong with me because I slowly open my mouth and let him slip his

tongue in. I close my eyes at the fiery emotions that take over.

I feel him in every fiber as our mouths mold and our tongues dance together. My legs weaken and

I almost collapse to the floor, but his arm around my waist hold me up.

I always wondered what authors talked about when they said ‘earth shattering kiss‘. This was it.

My senses really hav the building because I grab the back of his head and deepen the kiss. It’s like I couldn’t get enough of him and I just wanted more. Even Ethan’s kisses didn’t feel this

way.

I get lost in his kiss as he devours my mouth. This was exactly what I always dreamed of. I always wanted Rowan to kiss me like he wanted me. This what I’d wanted from him every time he came home from work or left in the morning. This was what I wanted every time we made love. We

never got that though. Not because I didn’t try, but because he never wanted me.

“You tried being a descent fuck but you weren’t even good at it. Every time I was inside you, it’s Emma I wanted, it’s Emma I imagined beneath me. Every time I cummed, it’s her face I saw. You were nothing special, just easy and so I used you. I used you like the fucking slut you are” (2)

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The words he flung at me a couple of months ago hit my head like a wrecking ball. I wrench myself from his hands, as the words play over and over in my head. Tormenting me now, like they did when I first heard them from his mouth.

I was breathing hard as I stared at him.

“Ava?” he calls in confusion

“Every time I was inside you, it’s Emma I wanted, it’s Emma I imagined beneath me” I quote his words. “You were nothing special, just easy and so I used you like the fucking slut you are”

“Ava” he tries again, his voice barely above a whisper.

My tears start filling and obstructing my view of him.

his

“That’s what you said to me. You said I was nothing but an easy fuck and a place holder for your precious Emma”

Why the hell did it still hurt? Is it because he kissed me like he wanted me when in reality we know that he never cared for me?

“Listen to me, Ava. Please” he begs, but I don’t see him. The only thing I see is his face twisted into a mean glare as he shattered my heart with those words.

“Please leave, Rowan”

“No” he stands his ground. “Not until you listen to me”

I just wanted him to leave me alone. I just wanted to go to sleep and forget that we kissed.

“Fine then” I turn around and take my car keys.

“What are you doing? ne asks.

“If you won’t leave, then I will.”

I was just about to step into the hallway when his voice stops me.

“I’ll leave. It’s late and you shouldn’t be out by yourself”

I don’t say anything. Just wait for him to leave.

He starts to and I begin breathing relief. That stops when he steps next to me. Before I can do anything, he tips my chin up and places a gently kiss on my lips then on my forehead.

5/6

I glare at him.

+15 BONUS

Instead. he gives me a small smile before he quietly leaves. The moment I hear his car leave, I

lock my door and rush upstairs to my room.

After changing I get into my bed and will my tired mind to sleep. I still couldn’t believe that I

kissed Rowan. It felt so damn good and that’s what scares me.

It’s easy to give in to this new version of him, but I can’t because no matter what I can’t risk getting hurt by him again and we all know if there is something Rowan is good at, it’s hurting me.