Falling in Love : I love you, Today and Forever

Chapter 241 - Different

"What?" Ivy asked perplexed. "Is there more to your story?"

"What do you think?" Joshua smirked at her stupefied face. Though the situation was different, he was actually enjoying her complete attention on him. He could see the care, worry and an unknown emotion which he presumed to be love in her eyes and his heart leaped in joy automatically. He was suddenly very happy, not because all the load he had on his heart was released, but because he had Ivy with him.

"What more do I have to listen to?" She pretended as though she was already bored but her actions spoke otherwise. Unknowingly she leaned in closer to him waiting for him to continue speaking, which Joshua noticed.

"After our so-called breakup, I started to work hard, harder than usual as I did not have to entertain her anymore, and now I have reached where I wanted to be. However,"

Ivy blinked when this word called however rolled out of his mouth. 

"She leaving me left a huge hole and I couldn't bring myself to into any serious relationship. I didn't want to go through the same heartbreak again. I know I am partly at fault because I did not give her the time as other couples. We did nothing while we were dating. So, I don't blame her much."

Though Joshua did not blame Amber, Ivy had different things in mind. She blamed her, cursed her, and kicked her butt in her mind for breaking down such a wonderful man. It was understandable that they could not spend time due to his workload. But at least she could have been supportive. They could have talked it over and found a solution that benefited both rather than her leaving him without giving any valid reasons. She was planning on even killing her for leaving him. But on second thought, she also wanted to reward her for leaving. If she didn't do so, Ivy would have never had the chance to get to know him and be with him.

She came out of her thoughts when she heard Joshua continue. "I felt that I was incompetent in a relationship and if I started dating again maybe I would hurt the girl in the process. So, I did not get involved with any women until now."

He stopped suddenly when he saw Ivy raise her eyebrows and he realized what he had said. Before she could point out the error, he corrected himself. "Other than sexually, of course. But nothing serious ever happened between us."

"Then, what is happening between us? Is this only a sexual attraction or anything more?" Ivy asked, her voice almost coming out as a whisper and Joshua did not have to be a genius, which he actually was, to guess that she was insecure. He could practically see the gears turning in her head and before her imagination ran wild he stopped her.

"No, Ivy. I agree that I don't love you, not yet. But I am attracted to you, not only sexually but in other ways too. I like you being around me. I like that you take care of me, cook for me. I like that when I am home, I have someone who will be there with me and that someone being you. I feel happy when I talk to you. I feel my worries just vanish just by seeing you. My heart yearns for in your absence and my soul connects to you."

"Is it true or am I hearing things?" Ivy said, unable to comprehend what she had just heard. Her brain was in a mush and all her thoughts were jumbled up. Though she was hearing the things she wanted to hear, she still assumed all of it to be her illusion, a beautiful dream which she never wanted to break.

Joshua chortled and squeezed her hands. "It's true. You are not dreaming. I agree that at first, I did not want to take this step. I tried to curb these feelings which I don't know when they started developing. Even after we kissed by the poolside, I was skeptical. I wanted to tell you the same things you told me. I wanted to ask you to forget about whatever happened. I had made up my mind. But when you spoke those words first, I realized how bitter they were. They were anything but pleasing to hear. I did not want to forget whatever transpired between us. I did not want to end this just like that. I could not accept that you wanted me to just leave it as it was."

Joshua leaned back and closed his eyes organizing his thoughts. It took him some time to calm down before he started speaking again. "It was then I realized what I wanted and it was you. If I did not take the step then, I knew I would lose something which is very precious and dear to me and it was not acceptable to me. So, I made a decision."

"And that decision was to kiss me?" Ivy blurted out with a pout, making Joshua chuckle again.

"No, to give this relationship a chance."

"What if you regret it in the future?"

"I won't. Because I trust you not to leave me and this time I will make sure to give you all the time in the world."

"Ahh," Ivy said as the realization hit her. "Is that why you were being clingy and touchy before? Is this your idea of giving time?"

"Yes. Do you like it? I know you do. I can see it in your eyes." Joshua gave her a devilish grin to her, which Ivy failed to notice. She had other things in mind. Her thoughts were stuck on what he had said.

"You don't even know if I want this, if I want to be with you and you trust me not to break your heart. Aren't you a little too overconfident? What if I don't want to be with you?"

Joshua started to panic listening to her. "What? Don't you like me? I thought you did. I assumed that you responded to the kiss because you had some feelings for me. Am I wrong? Don't tell me I am wrong. Please." Joshua begged and he got down on his knees. His eyes were anxious and he was ready to break down if she rejected him.

Seeing his dejected yet hopeful gaze, Ivy couldn't bring herself to lie or tease him about her feelings. She did not know when she started liking him but she did. However, she had been hesitant to approach him or even allow her feelings to grow. Now that she found out their feelings to be mutual, she was ecstatic. Her heart ached when she saw the man plead her to accept him and she hugged him tight immediately.

"When did I say I don't like you? I like you too. I thought you read my feelings like a book. Oh, how wrong was I?" Ivy whined while Joshua tightened the embrace.

"Thank God. You scared me."

"I am sorry."

They stayed like that in each other arms for some time before Ivy spoke first. "I think the food is getting cold. We need to eat."

"Yeah." 

"Before that, I need to speak to you about something."

"Sure. Tell me."

"I know that neither of us love each other right now. We have not reached that stage yet. So, let's try to understand each other first. Let's start from the beginning. Okay? We can take it slow before we..." She gestured both her forefingers back and forth between Joshua and her and he being intelligent understood what she wanted to convey immediately.

"Are you talking about sex?"

"Yeah," Ivy answered with a blush.

"How cute." Joshua smiled seeing her flustered. He wanted to kiss her again. But he had to give her a reply before that.

"Don't worry Ivy. I will not have sex with you until I am a hundred percent that both of us love each other. Okay? Are you comfortable now? Also, don't worry. I am a loyal man."

"Thank you so much." This was what Ivy wanted to hear and she was very much satisfied with his reply. 

"Now that we are done with the talking, come let's eat." Before Ivy could say anything, he lifted her from her chair and placed her on his lap again.

"What are you doing?" She squalled.

"What?" Joshua gave her an innocent look and kissed her cheek before he started eating again.

"We were supposed to take it slow."

"Yeah?"

"So leave me."

"We agreed not to have sex. Never did you tell me not to touch you or kiss you. It is not included in our agreement. Even if it was I won't stop kissing you or touching you. You can forget about it. So, stop crying and start eating. I can feed if you want." Joshua picked a forkful of noddles and held it in front of her mouth and coaxed her like a kid to open her mouth.

Ivy did not have any other choice than to do as he wished. She wondered what she had signed up for and how different would her life be from now on.