Falling In Love With Him – Her First Love

Chapter 62 - Think Wisely

She heard the sole of his shoes whispering against the floor as he walked to her. She didn't open her eyes but felt him getting nearer to her. Hunter wiped her tears with the back his fingers. "I'm sorry, Love. I'm so sorry," he said, kissing her eyelids one after the other. She didn't have to say it out loud for him to know what she's feeling. He kissed her cheeks and whispered against her lips, "Tell me, how can I erase that bitter memory. What should I do? I'll do anything," he confessed, tone filled with utmost sincerity. 

Hera opened her eyes, her bottom lip jutting out in an angry pout while she tried to control her sobs. She violently pushed him away. "You can't undo what you already did," she said in her trembling voice. 

"Don't I know that? I know I can't undo it. I made a mistake, I admit.. Now, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to hang myself to death to prove my love to you?" Hunter yelled in frustration. 

He was angry and didn't want to do anything that he would regret later. So he walked backwards, taking a few steps away from Hera, keeping a safe distance.

"You're holding on to that one mistake I did. Why can't you forgive and forget? Since that day, not a single day goes by without you mentioning that mistake and accusing me. You keep saying that I hurt you. What about me? Have you ever thought about what I went through or what I'm feeling?" He asked, sounding utterly helpless. Hera silently slid down and sat on the floor. She pulled her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. 

Leaning against the wall, Hera watched him as he paced back and forth.

"Every time I try to reach out, you keep backing out. I've begged for your forgiveness and apologised countless times. I try mending our broken hearts, but you never acknowledge my efforts," Hunter said, and Hera's eyes widened in alarm when he stopped suddenly facing her. "You're hurting me too, Hera," he mumbled, and his voice quivered. It was almost inaudible, but she heard him. 

He crouched down to her level and sat on his heels before his knees hit the floor with an unenthusiastic slouch. Hera watched as he took her left hand and placed it on his chest. His palm covered over her hand, trapping it in place. "Trust me, your bitter words and your cruel actions, torture me no less than a death sentence," he admitted defeatedly. Hera's tears were threatening to spill out of her helpless, tired eyes once again. His voice sounded so hurt, and his heart skipped a beat a few times.

Hera couldn't ignore his heartbeats beneath her palm as it vibrated, reaching out to her own heart. She felt it every time it missed a beat.

"If only you could forgive me, Love, our lives would have been so much better," he said and lowered his head. Hera sensed all his emotions at once. He was angry, he was hurt and disappointed, and he sounded defeated too. She could read an unmistakable regret and longing as well.

Hera withdrew her hand from his chest. She couldn't help but share the same emotions he's going through. It was their truth. She couldn't deny it they have that effect on each other. They could read each other's emotions and feel each other's pain. 

"Bitter words, cruel actions, you say?" Hera forced the words out and paused for a second, looking at his face. All she could see was his long straight nose beneath the mop of his charcoal black hair as he still had his head bent, drilling holes into the floor with his eyes. 

She smiled sadly to herself before continuing, "Really, Hunter? You're one to talk. If my actions are torturing you so much, then why don't you leave me alone? Just get out of my life and let me live in peace. As you said, our lives will be so much better," Hera stated and swallowed hard as her throat constricted with pain. The more she tried to hold back her tears, the more it hurts to breathe. 

"Trust me, Hunter, we'll be better off without each other," she suggested, and Hunter lifted his head at that. Their eyes met in a staring contest. 

He shifted, changing his posture, sat with his knees drawn up, arms around knees. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down in his throat as he swallowed before he opened his mouth. He asked in a stiff, angry tone, "And, how many times should I repeat that whatever you're suggesting is never going to happen? Not in this lifetime anyway," he said. His tone was matter-of-fact, brooking no argument. Yet, Hera scoffed, looking away. 

"How many times had we talked, discussed, argued, and fought over this matter, Goddess? I was telling you this one last time, and you better save this in your memory." He paused for a second or two, to make sure she's listening before he said, "Only I get to decide what I want or what I don't want. Because it's my game, so my rules," he stressed. 

Pointing his finger at her to emphasise his words, Hunter further said, "You are," then dabbed that same finger into his chest and said, "Mine. You're mine, Hera. We're made for each other and meant to live together forever, and nothing's going to change this," he proclaimed. Hera widened her eyes, ready to disagree. He shook his head, silently warning her not to utter a word when she tried to speak. 

It only irked her more because it was her life too, and he was the only one allowed to choose and make decisions. How fair was that? 

"I love you, Hera Hunter and I know you care about me because you love me too. I'm very well aware of your feelings. You can't deny or hide it from me," he said, hand reaching out, fingers delicately touching the anklet in her left ankle. Hera averted her eyes and pulled her foot back immediately, avoiding his touch because she heard what he didn't say. She could tell he wanted to voice it out but decided not to. She didn't dare to look into his eyes, afraid that he might bring up that matter. 

"For how long are you going to punish me for that one mistake, Goddess? Just because of that one mistake, please don't ruin our lives. No matter how much you try, you can't suppress the love we have for each other. Let's stop hurting each other and pretending that it doesn't hurt us in return," he said, tone soft and voice pleading. Hera was stunned. He's not even giving her a chance to react or respond. He's going on and on, lecturing her about their love life. 

'Smart-ass thinks he knows everything. When did he write the thesis on love?' 

Hera thought in utter irritation.

"Today or tomorrow, you're going to end up being my partner for life because I'll never let you go. So why waste time? Think wisely. Please let go of that wretched past and move on. All I'm asking is for a chance. Let's give it a fresh start. I promise I'll make it right this time, and I'll make sure that you won't regret it," he finally stopped and waited, obviously expecting her to make a wise decision. 

Hera tried to grasp everything he said and silently thought about it, weighing her options. It's time for her to decide and choose. She sighed audibly and shook her head in a no, as a response to his expectant eyes. "Think wisely, you said?" she asked, and Hunter actually looked worried for a second before masking his emotions. She knew, he still loved her and him being afraid of her rejection made her smile inwardly. 

'That means, he still cares, right? Something is better than nothing.' 

He's right earlier when he said that they could read each other's feelings without being said out loud. Of course, Hera cared about him too, because he was not only her first love but also her best friend. They were each other's happiness. They grew up together, dreaming of building a future together. They'd shared their joys and sorrows. They were each others support system. 

And Hunter was Hera's everything. 

Hera kept her face blank and tried her best to hide her emotional turmoil and hoped that her face wouldn't give up any of her true feelings. 

"News flash, Hunter. It's my life, and it's definitely not your game. And, no one will play the game if the rules only apply to one team. I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game. So, from now on, I'll be the one making rules. My life and my rules, so let me play it my way," she demanded, though it came out as more of a request. Hunter narrowed his eyes, and the nerve in his jaw ticked.

Imitating his earlier actions, Hera shook her head, signalling him not to interfere until she's finished.