Fancy Me, Professor!

Chapter 176 - This Will Be The First

[This chapter is dedicated to Mday208 for the nice comments that he/she has been leaving in my stories for the month of June. Thank you so much for the support! I hope to continue reading your comments in the near future! :D]

***

Shu Xian went to school with a foolish grin on her face. She couldn't get it off her mind—the way Pan An was embracing her while she was cooking.

She went to the university first. Pan An said that he would have to stay behind for a while since he forgot to fix his documents needed for the day.

However, little did the birthday girl know that Pan An stayed behind to make a last minute call with her mother and sister, along with Shi Lian and Zhang Ren whom she added in the WeChat group. Wang Lei was also inside the chat, all of them already talking about the preparation.

"Hmm…"

Shu Xian wondered the moment she reached the classroom, noticing that it's almost 15 minutes before classes would start, yet two of her friends are not yet there.

"That's odd. If I arrive this late, usually, both of them are already here."

Remembering that she was cramming for her assignment, she put the first assignment inside of her notebook, the review about the two poems.

However, she remembered just now that she forgot to make her poetry assignment, making her sigh as she took this opportunity to do it before Pan An's class would start.

It's a homework they have in Creative Writing, a class that Shu Xian and Shi Lian commonly have before they have their lunch. With Zhang Ren not with them because he's a Math major, they only had two common classes with him.

As Shu Xian was making her poetry collection, she found it easier than doing the other homework last night.

Luckily, Shu Xian also had a compilation of her poems in her phone's notepad, using it as her homework as she wrote it in her Creative Writing Notebook that will be passed later on to the professor.

She put on her various Haiku Collection that she created months ago so that her homework would seem like she has put in effort on it when in fact, she reused what she created months ago during vacation.

***

I.         

Up in the mountains

Below the cherry blossom

Lies my love for you

II.         

My own innocence

Reflected in the river

Hiding the monster

III.         

My feelings contained

It rushes like the river

Finding its escape

IV.       

I raged at the sea

I found my serenity

Then it has calmed me

V.         

My thoughts are so loud

The silence is deafening

In this quiet night

VI.       

The time I said "hi"

You were under the white snow

Then you said goodbye

***

Shu Xian provided six of her haikus in the notebook. With her looking more into her notepad, she also saw a poem that she made before entitled, When the Lights are Gone, writing it down on her notebook as well.

***

When the lights are gone…

Paranoia hunts me.

When the lights are gone…

Fear engulfs me.

When the lights are gone…

Uneasiness irritates me.

When the lights are gone…

My emotions overwhelm me.

When the lights are gone…

Hope leaves me.

But deep down I know that when the lights are gone…

Someone is there to save me.

***

This was a poem that she made when she met Shi Lian. She was hopeless at first when it comes to her having no friends and then living alone the moment she ran away from her uncle.

But because of Shi Lian, she had provided her love and joy and company as a friend—a person who saved her when she was in her most desperate situation.

She's indeed lucky to have Shi Lian in her life.

Soon after, she saw one last poem that she wanted to add in her homework. It's a poem that she made the day she left her uncle's house—a poem that is very memorable in her heart.

***

Thoughts coming ceaselessly through the night

Staring blankly at the dim light

Noticing this one and only presence

Getting insane with this deafening silence

Having this chaotic state of mind

Makes peace arduous to find

Knowing that I have to make a decision

Gives me more frustration

I always feared the thought of being lonely

But I left in order to be happy

This is indeed heartbreaking

As it is, at the same time, liberating

***

As she finished writing the last two lines of the poem, Shu Xian's lips turned into a tight line, reflecting about it.

"This is indeed heartbreaking, as it is, at the same time, liberating," Shu Xian whispered to herself, a sigh coming afterward. "Wow… I was so young when I made these poems. The last poem was also the one I made when I was a teenager."

With Shu Xian now leaning her back on the rest of the chair, a small smile appeared on her face, commenting on the poems that she made.

"I was so creative before… why did I stop making these kinds of poems now? Was it because I started becoming busy and that with the things I'm doing and with studying, I don't have time to write anymore?"

With that in thought, Shu Xian smiled a bit, now looking at the blank page of her notebook. With her thinking of Pan An right here and then, she thought that maybe she could make a poem about him since it's been years that she hasn't created any poems.

She shoved her curiosity about her friends for a while. With her focusing on a poem that will be dedicated to Pan An, she let her hands write and her words flow, her heart racing in her chest as she has never dedicated a poem to a person she likes.

With her now starting to like someone, this will be the first—along with the thought of liking someone for the first time.