Filthy Gamer in Narutoverse

Chapter 124: Moisturizing Dry Wounds

Chapter 124: Moisturizing Dry Wounds

"So? Is everyone damp, moist, and lubed?" Sakumo inquired with a smile as the trio of his young teammates just froze due to how inappropriate the dignified Elite Shinobi sounded only for him to add, "Because our mission is cut dry for us!"

"Either Suna or Iwa," Kai shrugged as Tsume looked at him, "I call Suna!"

"Is this really even a bet?" Minato inquired as Sakumo sighed, "Of course, it's Suma. My station for the missions related to that Village now feels unending. But it's not a mission as simple as you think..."

Kai gasped, "Don't tell me... we're trying to find some white-haired child in one of the Desert Tribes?"

"What?" Sakumo gaped in return, "No, we're being sent to broker peace with the village and are tasked with verifying the desires of Sunagakure."

Minato understood the mission and instantly felt heavy in his heart while Tsume blinked and questioned bluntly, "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means," Kai chuckled, "Team Sakumo is tasked to see if this is a trap or not. Hmm, just as well. No other team has two elites..." He looked at Sakumo and then at Kuromaru who kept wagging his large furry tail, "Cinnamon and Kuromaru, of course."

*Bark*

*Hiss*

Cinnamon's soft hiss could be heard from under his dark-grey sleeves.

Sakumo smiled and sighed softly as Kai checked his mission.

[S-Ranked Mission: A Sanded Alliance

Summary: Sunagakure has notified the village's upper echelons of their intentions of putting their bad blood in the past and forging a new future together. Confirm its validity and return alive.

Rewards: 60 SP

Failure: Death]

'Wow... simple enough.'

Team Sakumo left soon as their Team Leader chose their moment of safety closer to the village to relay more information about the high-profile individuals of Sunagakure, their skills in brewing poison that rivaled the greatest Iryo-Nin 'publicly' known Tsunade, and their craft in puppet arts which made them quite dangerous in their home territory.

Puppet Art was not some secret technology. From Chakra Strings to clasps and other trap devices that moved a puppet and made them dangerous were known to all other shinobi villages. The truth was that Sunagakure's unforgiving environment also provided unforgiving poison which just worked too well with the puppets a resource that other villages did not have. Not to mention the fact that other villages just couldn't branch out their resources devoted to puppet arts since they had their own projects while anyone interested in puppet arts in other villages simply never reached too high of a level to speak for the cause.

Kai did want to learn because crazily enough, this provided him with the second 100-level skill like [Study of Chakra Weapons] but without the necessary tools, Kai couldn't create a puppet and his clones were otherwise occupied despite him spamming them constantly... and that's why, knowing full well that each village would have their individual strong points that he would rather learn than not, Kai decided to keep true to his motto One step at a time.

He'll eventually get around to learning other village's skills... he made sure to work towards that when he created the [Chakra Origin Seal.]

Being neighboring countries with their borders shared, Land of Wind and Land of Fire had a good trading treaty despite their Shinobi Villages being anything but cordial. So, Sakumo and others adopted a disguise, rented a carriage, and started their travel. Of course, they did cover most of the distance before reaching one of the border towns protected under the name of the Daimyo and then took to the road.

Many shinobi teams used this route and snuck away from the teams of guards posted on the border under the administration of the Samurai. Of course, Sakumo being one of the most infamous shinobi of Suna knew better. Multiple scout teams from Konoha are stationed at the border at all times around the country but to retain the integrity of the mission, not even these individuals were told about Team Sakumo. While Sakumo and Kai knew how to restrain their chakra, Tsume and Minato did not which made Kai slap Minato's wrist, Kuromaru's back, and Tsume's ass with a chakra suppression seal the paper tag kind which they could remove at their own convenience.

Successfully entering the Land of Wind after going through inspection of the border guards and distributing purses of Ryo to the guards on both the side of the border since every country did decide to come together under the unification of corruption, Team Sakumo proceeded to the nearest trade town and switch their carriage from a horse to the one pulled by camels.

Once they left the said town which was more of a large storage unit with many traders conducting business with one another, Sakumo eased, "Well, I think three days to enter Land of Wind is a good enough time. Now that we've checked off most in the checklist for our disguise, how about resting in the Oasis Town of Spring?"

Knowing that his team would need more information, Sakumo smiled, "Well, there's a healthy chance that we might be killed so enjoying a town before that is never a bad option," As his team of 'youngling' who had their entire life deadpanned somewhat, the brown-haired middle-aged disguised shinobi revealed a light-hearted smile, "Oasis Town Spring is one of the wealthiest border towns and control a small network of 'oasis' which is just a channel of water commissioned by Wind Daimyo from Suna. Others may not be aware of it but the 'drought' in this town was because I killed all the stationed shinobis... really nice bazaars though."

"Sounds good, maybe I'll find some of the infamous poisonous herbs," Kai shrugged with a smile as Minato questioned, "Sakumo-san, I've been told that Iwagakure is isolating Sunagakure to grow themselves... is this call for the alliance because of that?"

Chuckling in response, Sakumo questioned, "Did Jiraiya tell you that?" He traced his chin, "Well, it's not just Iwa hunting on Suna. It's true that Iwagakure suffered major losses during the second war but time and blood wait for no shinobi. If this alliance... turns out fine, I suppose we'll be having another war."

"Woah? Just like that?" Tsume barked a gasp as Sakumo shrugged, "Just like that."

"Hey, I've got one. What's one thing similar between a war and a failed marriage?" Kai grinned as his eyes brightened.

"What?" Tsume eagerly questioned while leaning forward as Kai chuckled, "Body count."

While Minato and Tsume looked a little confused, Sakumo touched his chin with an almost enlightened expression as he muttered, "You're... not wrong..."

"That or it can usually be avoided by bigger and heavier blows..." Kai completed.

---

"Heh, so? How do I look?" Tsume questioned with an off-white turban around her head, a red vest over the light, almost see-through full-sleeved white top, and a pair of baggy brown trousers. Kuromaru, too, wore a turban to prevent heatstroke if Kai didn't cool their surroundings often.

"Well... you fit right into it," Kai mused and nodded, "Yeah, looks good."

"I feel that this isn't a life-threatening mission at all..." Minato smiled but his eyes betrayed his nervousness. He was from the batch who killed to graduate and was the only remaining apprentice of Jiraiya but still with even Sakumo admitting their chances of death, Minato felt a little scared.

Noting his expression, Sakumo didn't assure the youth but spoke honestly instead, "If you do want to survive your missions... always fear the outcome. I know that's how I survive," he then looked at Kai, "You, on the other hand..."

"What? This was the best one I found in the bazaar," Kai pouted with a tiny red hat over his head as he looked uncaring of the heat and the dangers of the mission. His torso was covered only by a purple fabric sleeveless vest, a brown wrapping around his waist that extend to baggy off-white trousers.

If it wasn't for Minato and Sakumo on their camels who had dispelled their transformations, no one would have expected them to be shinobi. But then again, they were long within the scope of suspicion as they traveled closer and closer to Sunagakure.

"Nothing," Knowing well enough to let the other powerhouse of the team remain in his own tune than smother his strength and mannerism, Sakumo sighed and continued the way.

"So? Why haven't we been attacked yet?" Tsume questioned and this attracted Minato's attention, too.

"Because we're not close enough that they can assure our retreat negligibly... or they intend to honor their invitation," Sakumo replied, "Remember not to aggravate the elders Suna unnecessarily. Unlike our village's new policy about elders, Suna follows old customs and the elders possess quite a large portion of power. Not to mention... one of them is known to be one of the strongest Puppet masters of the village who happens to hate me."

They had heard about this for the umpteenth time...

Sakumo really did a number to families situated in Suna...

The team came to a stop as two lone figures formed out of the sand. Even if the team didn't see them form, they still stopped a minute ago as Kai did sense the stunning amount of chakra from the old man on the left.

The other man was bald and somewhat lenient looking if not for a tattoo of a green dragon on his head, one of whose claws were marked over his right eye as he wore a brown tunic without any overt shinobi attire and had his hands behind his back the entire time.

"Sand Clones," Kai whispered for Tsume more than Minato and Sakumo. A variation of Earth Clones that could break down into 'sand' but won't move with the wind or the dunes. Kai knew the technique, too, but sadly it never granted him a single SP... again, maybe another element's clones will? He'd look into it once freed of his current grind and duties.

Meanwhile, seeing the duo, Sakumo adopted a far more severe expression and remained silent yet this alerted others, and they watched the duo cautiously, too.

Noting the lack of response from the other side, the bald man smiled and spoke in a distinctly heavy voice, "With Iwagakure using every means in the book, I cannot trust the loyalty of the administration of the village with your arrival and the matters I hope to discuss with you. You may return to the Hokage with my sincerity."

As he said this, the tattooed man set a scroll on the dune, and then both of the men disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"That was..." Kai looked at Sakumo who took a deep breath, "The Second Kazekage and Ichibi's Jinchuriki..."

"Kai, check if there's any trap on the scroll," Sakumo ordered as he continued to keep a look around. With a hand seal, a shadow clone was brought to existence who appeared beside the clone and picked it up. From his hand emerged a seal to detect the contents of the scroll and after familiarizing himself with everything, he tossed it towards the original while dispelling itself.

Catching the clone and accepting the memories, Kai handed the scroll to Sakumo, "It contains a head. A sacrifice from their own ranks... or most likely a competitor that was growing too 'dangerous.'"

Sakumo accepted the scroll and nodded, "Looks like our mission has come to an end. Let's return."

'A vacation and the easiest 60 SP ever!' Kai cheered internally!

But then again, in his current state, most missions may as well be a vacation.

***

Alternate Title: Kaladin The Enemy of Dry Panties. {I know how it sounds in hindi... still going with it, lol.}

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A/N: At first, I had planned all this grand deliberation where Team Sakumo would enter Suna and have a confrontation with Chiyo, meat Sasori, and whatnot... but then I realized, a smart kazekage would not trust old begrudging elders when looking for an alliance based on his own merits with the enemies so I chose a much more anti-climatic manner that also served to keep the Kazekage mysterious... and maybe play at the plotline that he dies to assassins?

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