Florida Man in Magus World: Unleashing Liberty and Freedom

Chapter 123: Farm Alligator Diagnosed with Lung Cancer After Florida Man Teaches It to Smoke

Elixir of Bear Vitality (Fifth Grade)

This rare elixir was once highly sought after by aspiring martial artists in ancient times, particularly by aura masters. It enhances vitality, stamina, and longevity, which in turn boosts the quality of one's aura.

As an elixir, it is classified into nine grades, with the first being the lowest and the ninth being the highest. This particular elixir is of average quality, and the alchemist behind its creation could have done better.

Effects:

- Permanently increases stamina by 1.5%.

- Permanently increases vitality by 1.5%.

- Permanently increases aura density by 1.5%.

- Permanently increases lifespan by 5,000 years.

Note: Can only be consumed once per hour. Consuming additional elixirs of any kind within this time will not yield further results.

…

Felix felt a twinge of disappointment. After all the effort he put into making the elixir, he had expected more benefits. Still, the experience sparked an idea.

"What if I buy a mutated bear's heart from the system store and mass-produce these elixirs?" he thought, excitement bubbling within him.

With that plan in mind, Felix opened the system store and searched for both the elixir and the heart.

There was good news and bad news.

The good news: both items were available in the store.

The bad news: the Elixir of Bear Vitality (Fifth Grade) was priced at a hefty 7,500 years of lifespan. Meanwhile, the heart of a mutated bear was listed for 5,000 years, equal to the lifespan benefit the elixir provided.

Frustrated and disappointed, Felix scrolled through the store, hoping to find an alternative. That was when he noticed the review section beneath the elixir's listing. Curious, he clicked on it and began reading.

The elixir had a dismal 2.5-star rating out of five, which by Internet standards screamed "scam" or "trash." The first few reviews were brutal:

…

[One-Star Review]:

"Why buy this overpriced crap when you can easily make ninth-grade elixirs yourself? This is trash!"

[One-Star Review]:

"This is noob's trap. Save your lifespan and buy a Dim Philosopher Stone instead. Use that to convert any animal heart into a mutated bear's heart and make these elixirs yourself. Save yourself the trouble!"

[One-Star Review]:

"Never buy these elixirs at full price. Wait for the Black Friday events and snag them at 90% off!"

[One-Star Review]:

"This is a watered-down version of ninth-grade elixirs! If you buy this, you're an idiot!"

…

Felix couldn't help but laugh. The comments were harsh but undeniably helpful.

"Why didn't I check this earlier?" he thought, feeling a mix of amusement and regret. If only he had known about this review section before, he might have saved himself some time and effort.

Taking the reviewers' advice seriously, Felix quickly searched for the "Dim Philosopher Stone" in the system store. To his surprise, it was exactly as they described, and he wasn't disappointed.

The Dim Philosopher Stone was priced at 10,000 years of lifespan—a hefty amount, but its functions far exceeded its price tag. Although Felix's system couldn't fully identify the item, the review section provided all the information he needed.

…

[Five-Star Review]

"Must-buy item! Don't wait for any discount event, it's always out of stock during sales. Grab as many as you can while they're available!"

[Five-Star Review]

"I'm a sous chef in the Divine Dragon Star Sector. Ever since I got this, I can't imagine life without it! INFINITE A5 QUQU STEAK, HUZZAH!"

[Four-Star Review]

"Deduct one star because of its limited usage. I wish it has more charges. 100 usage isn't enough."

[Five-Star Review]

"10,000 years of lifespan is too cheap for what this baby can do. It can convert any material into another, duplicate items, and even restore lost limbs or fix a shattered dantian! Even if you're not into alchemy, sorcery, or crafting, keeping one of these in your pocket will never disappoint you. Buy one now and thank yourself later!"

[Five-Star Review]

"I'm a crusader from the Super Dreadnought Lady Audacity. When I was stranded on a heretic-infested planet, this stone kept my battlesuit and holy sword charged and helped me survive that nightmare. Absolutely worth every bit of lifespan."

…

Felix grinned as he read through the glowing reviews. The Dim Philosopher Stone was a true game-changer. At 10,000 years of lifespan, it came at a steep cost, but the possibilities it offered were limitless. This was the kind of item that could revolutionize his approach to survival and power.

However, his excitement was short-lived. Fantasizing about the future was fun, but reality quickly pulled him back. Last time he checked, Felix only had 1,222 years of lifespan in reserve—far from the 10,000 he needed. Even with the 5,000 years he would gain from the elixir, he was still short.

"Where am I supposed to get more lifespan?" Felix muttered under his breath, pacing in frustration.

Determined to make the most of what he had, Felix uncorked the elixir bottle and downed its contents in one swift gulp.

It tasted like sour blood, with a metallic aftertaste that lingered on his tongue. As soon as he swallowed, his body reacted.

His pupils dilated, his heart raced, and his veins seemed to buzz with newfound energy. It felt like pure adrenaline was coursing through his system. His muscles tightened, and a rush of heat flooded through him.

*DING*

<Your lifespan has increased by 5,000 years.>

<Your physical endurance and stamina have been permanently increased.>

<Your max mana capacity has increased by 300,000.>

Felix blinked as he processed the notifications. Not only had his vitality and stamina increased, but his overall energy and mana reserves had skyrocketed.

However, there was another side effect.

Felix looked down at himself and groaned as he realized that the elixir had also enhanced a more "primal" vitality. With a shake of his head, Felix suppressed the urge.

"Not the time," Felix muttered, looking up at the sky. The downpour still hadn't let up, and he wondered how long the storm would last.

As he sat there, an idea popped into his mind, an intrusive thought that he couldn't ignore.

What if he used this downtime to smoke another cigar? That had given him an easy 3,600 years of lifespan the last time. Maybe this was the perfect opportunity to cash in on a quick boost while hiding in the rain.

With a sly grin, Felix reached into his pocket, pulling out a fresh cigar.

But just as Felix cut the tip of the cigar and prepared to light it, he paused, glancing toward the spot where the dragon lay dormant. Another intrusive thought sparked his imagination.

"If a cigar could kill a human, could it kill a dragon too?" Felix muttered to himself, considering the possibility. The idea of tricking the dragon into smoking a cigar, just like when he used a system item to kill Joxonu, seemed brilliant in a twisted sort of way. He had already proven that these seemingly mundane items could have devastating effects on powerful foes when used creatively.

The thought excited him, but another more practical realization hit. Even if he did smoke the cigar, it wouldn't get him to the 10,000-year mark he needed. His lifespan would only total 9,822—178 years short. So close, but not close enough.

Felix furrowed his brow, frustrated by the numbers. "Where can I get the rest of it?"

Suddenly, his gaze drifted back to the dragon. A new, darker idea began to form. If he could somehow use the cigar to weaken or even kill the dragon, he could harvest its remains. A beast of that size surely held valuable resources, such as monster cores, elixir ingredients, and other rare materials that could potentially add to his lifespan or be sold for a fortune.

"I just need it to catch a whiff of the cigar. One sniff, and then I'll be running for my life until it takes effect," Felix muttered to himself, devising a plan. The ridiculousness of the idea made him chuckle, but in this strange world, absurd plans often worked.

If he could pull this off, not only would he secure the extra lifespan he needed for the Philosopher Stone, but he'd also have a treasure trove of materials from the dragon, such as alchemy resources that could boost his lifespan.

Sure, the dragon was a towering menace, but if he could get close enough, just close enough to light the cigar and let the smoke waft toward it. There was a slim chance this insane plan might actually work.

He clenched the cigar in his hand, heart pounding as he steeled himself. The rain poured harder, masking his footsteps, and the lingering tension of the storm added to the weight of the moment. With no time to waste, Felix took a deep breath, stood up, and began moving toward the dragon, the wet ground squelching beneath his feet.

His pulse raced with each step. The heavy rain had turned the ground into a mess of deep puddles, forcing Felix to move cautiously. Each footfall was slow, deliberate, as he navigated the muddy terrain. Despite the storm masking his presence, Felix couldn't shake the fear that the dragon might notice him.

Unbeknownst to him, the dragon had already been struck by lightning and was unconscious.

What should have been a quick 20-minute walk stretched into a grueling hour. The rain, combined with the slick, uneven ground, made every step a challenge. But eventually, Felix got close enough to see the dragon.

It was sprawled out on the ground, its massive body still. Its eyes were rolled back, tongue hanging out as it drooled and…

Was it snoring?

The dragon was asleep?

Felix blinked, dumbfounded. All this time he had been sneaking through the storm, the beast had been knocked out cold, completely unaware of his approach.

Felix grinned as he approached the dragon's enormous mouth. He needed dry conditions to light the cigar, so he began circulating his fire mana, focusing on creating a protective barrier.

As the orange aura emerged, rainwater sizzled and evaporated upon contact with the fiery gas. Within moments, his body and the cigar were completely dry.

With a flick, Felix lit the cigar and carefully stepped closer to the dragon's nose, aiming the burning tip at its massive nostrils.

But just as he prepared to carry out his plan, the dragon's eyes rolled down. Its fierce gaze locked onto Felix, and it swiftly pulled its tongue back into its mouth.

It was awake!