Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World

Chapter 311 Florida Man Swindles Half of Tourist's Fortune for Exclusive Service as a Human Shield against the Law

Chapter 311 Florida Man Swindles Half of Tourist's Fortune for Exclusive Service as a Human Shield against the Law

??Chapter 311 – Florida Man Swindles Half of Tourist's Fortune for Exclusive Service as a Human Shield against the Law

Tang San clenched his fist and lowered his head. He looked at the rusty ring necklace on his neck.

'What should I answer, master? I think they know.'

Kishin Douji let out a long sigh. His soul exited the ring and manifested in the real world.

A 3-meter-tall semi-transparent body of a red Oni stood before Leo. He crossed his arms and stared at everybody.

Leo also crossed his arms and stared at the mysterious expert. Again, he appraised the soul.

'Identify.'

DING

.

Name: Kishin Douji

Alias: Demon God

Race: Blood Oni

Age: 935,970

Cultivation Base: 7-River Karmic Sovereign

Thoughts: Suspicious, Hostile

System Note: This demon god was the longest reigning ancestor of the Blood Oni Race and the former strongest entity in the universe. His reign lasted until the transcended being "Sieg" unveiled the secrets of the Void Tree and the hidden applications of the Void Tree's fruits, aka the fate crystals. After the fate crystals spread in the universe, new karmic sovereigns and transcended beings emerged. They quickly overthrew his kingdom and his people were hunted down.

Kishin Douji realized that he couldn't survive alone in the new era. Thus, he surrendered his kingdom to the rising civilization – The Divine Elf Kingdom. He ended up becoming Eleanor Sydin's consort even though she was weaker than him. Because of Eleanor's mighty army and her protection, his Blood Oni Clan survived the hunt.

In exchange for his clan's survival, Kishin later bestowed his seed to Eleanor, who gave birth to the first princess – Esen Sydin IV.

After giving birth to the first successor, Eleanor abandoned Kishin Douji in favor of the new consort, Mao Miaomiao. At first, Kishin befriended Mao Miaomiao and ended up becoming sworn brothers. But later on, their relationship gradually deteriorated and small conflicts between the Oni Clan and Divine Elf Clan were more frequent. The tension turned into a cold war between the two races.

While preparing for a full-scale war, his clan was ambushed by Sieg. His physical body was destroyed, forcing his soul to flee from his home world. He eventually found the Yan Empire's planet and hid his soul inside an abandoned spatial ring. Then, he found Tang San and ended up using him.

.

Leo slightly shook his head in astonishment. Getting information from both sides revealed a lot of hidden backstories. However, it was a pity that the system didn't show other information regarding Eleanor's kingdom and Mao Miaomiao's intervention.

Sarcastically, Leo greeted Kishin Douji. "Hello, there, father-in-law."

Kishin Douji narrowed his eyes, "I don't remember having a son-in-law."

"You do. I married your daughter."

"I don't have a daughter."

"You do. Eleanor gave birth to your daughter, didn't she?"

"Her children are not mine."

"But she carries your blood. To be honest, I'm surprised as well. I didn't expect you to be her actual father."

"…"

Kishin Douji didn't understand why Leo called him 'Father-In-Law'. He treated it as a joke and changed the topic.

"I see that you're a transcended being. What do you want from this helpless Oni?"

Leo smirked, "I just don't like lurkers, so I call you out. If you want to live here in my domain, you need to make your presence known."

"Understandable," Kishin Douji agreed with this idea, but he hadn't trusted Leo yet. "What else do you need?"

"It's the other way around. What are you planning to do with that boy? Are you trying to raise his cultivation base to match yours? Then, will you take over his body like a cliché villain would?"

Tang San widened his eyes in shock and took a step back by reflex. On the other hand, Kishin Douji was enraged.

"Preposterous! A karmic sovereign like me can regenerate my fleshly body anytime! I don't need to steal a fleshly body like Eleanor or Mao Miaomiao!"

Leo snickered. He lowered his arms and fetched a blank spatial ring in his pocket. Then, he passed it to Kishin Douji.

"That old ring you are using is about to break apart. Use this one instead. Also, if possible, regenerate your fleshly body and stay outside. That way, I won't suspect you for doing something shady to that boy over there."

Kishin Douji snorted, "If I had enough energy, I would have done so ages ago! I need to fully recuperate first. Otherwise, a transcendent being stronger than you will detect my presence and come for my life. If that man appears, even you will be in trouble!"

Being reminded of another transcended being, Leo recalled Sieg and his fate crystal obsession. Fortunately, his sugar mom 'Priscilla' already helped him greatly. Leo believed that Sieg might have already been dead.

"Sorry to bring it to you, but I think THAT GUY you mentioned is already dead."

"WHAT!?" Kishin Douji was flabbergasted, "IMPOSSIBLE! HE IS THE LORD OF FATE STADIUM! HE CONTROLS ALL SYSTEMS USERS!"

"I think he ran into another transcended being by the name 'Priscilla'. I ran into him a while back, and she saved me. Since he has been quiet, I think he's dead."

"…"

Kishin Douji knew of this 'Priscilla' person. After all, she was one of many enemies who wanted him dead in the past.

When Kishin Douji was the sole overlord of the universe, Priscilla was just a roaming monster that wasn't worth his attention. But when Priscilla managed to collect seven entity fate crystals, she gathered all her kin and established the Phoenix Clan. Afterward, her clan stood toe-to-toe with Sieg's Fate Stadium Army.

Realizing how big Leo's backer was, Kishin Douji ceased his ill thoughts. He grudgingly lowered his head.

"Then, please allow me to stay here and recuperate. When I'm fully recovered, I'll leave this place."

Leo brightly smiled and opened his palm. His ugly smile resurfaced.

"Of course, you can stay here, but you have to pay for the Nom-Nom Tax."

"…Nom-Nom Tax?" Kishin Douji was confused.

"Ah, please excuse the jargon. I mean you must give something equivalent in exchange for the trouble. I won't ask much. I just need 50% of your total life force… or lifespan."

"…What?"

Leo snapped his fingers and summoned the good-old lifespan status menu for Kishin Douji to see.

.

Name: Kishin Douji

Age: 935,970

Lifespan: 2,110,290,312 Years

.

Upon seeing the lifespan of Kishin Douji, Leo was impressed. As for Tang San, he gawked at the unbelievable status screen in front of his master.

"Wow, two billion years to live?! That's a lot of time to cultivate!" Tang San counted his fingers, imagining himself with that amount of time. He wondered what he would do in the next one billion years.

As for Kishin Douji, he didn't think much of his lifespan. After all, he was also a system user, and he could easily accumulate them back in a few years.

"Fine. A billion years of my lifespan for your protection, right?"

"Indeed. You're quick to understand."

"I'll pay. But make sure that nobody comes after me. If someone were to come here and pursue me, it's your job to fend off the invaders. I won't be doing anything or contributing anything to your cause."

"Fine by me."

Kishin Douji grumbled and regenerated his fleshly body. His semi-transparent body turned red while his face looked more savage. However, as he manifested his body from nothingness, there was nothing to hide his naked body.

The appearance of a giant red Oni with a huge asset surprised the elves, who hadn't entered their new workplace yet.

"Red Oni?!"

"Why is an Oni savage here?!"

"Dammit. I thought those losers were extinct. It appears that one of them survived."

"Yeah, that's terrible. I wish Lady Eleanor or that perverted eyeball Sieg killed them all. They're unnecessary."

The comments of the elves annoyed Kishin, but he got used to it. He bit the tip of his tongue and spat out his blood. The droplet of blood expanded and transformed into gold samurai armor, covering his skin from head to toe.

The gold samurai crossed his arms and stared at Leo again.

"How do I pay?"

Leo shrugged and fiddled with his system. A few seconds later, the system screen in front of Kishin Douji prompted him with a message.

DING

<Will you pay 50% of your lifespan in exchange for Florida Man's protection?>

Kishin snorted, "Yes!"

DING

CHA-CHING

His lifespan was halved. Meanwhile, Leo received a different message.

<You have collected a total of 1,055,145,156 years of lifespan.>

<Your total lifespan has exceeded 2,147,483,647 years. The excess will be stored in the system bank.>

<Your current bank balance is 1,913,040,276 years.>

Leo grinned, proud of his achievement so far. At this rate, he might be able to purchase and fully upgrade a colony to expand his domain's resident limit.

After paying Leo, Kishin Douji turned around and glanced at his disciple. As Tang San was no longer useful to him, he decisively made a declaration.

"Tang San. From now on, you're no longer my disciple. You can do whatever you want from now on."

"W-Wait, what?!" Tang San was shocked. "But why, master?! What did I do wrong? Why are you expelling me?"

"I don't need to hide anymore, so I don't need you as my eyes and ears."

"But I haven't mastered your cultivation method yet!"

"That's none of my business."

Ruthlessly, Kishin Douji cast Tang San aside and walked away. He left the shopping complex through the main gate and shocked the local people outside.

.

Tang San was speechless. He gazed at his departing ex-mentor in confusion.

Emotions overwhelmed him. He thought that Kishin Douji was a sincere and helpful master. But in reality, he was being used.

"In the end, there's nobody for me to trust but myself." Tang San lamented.

Meowmeow who had been silent during the whole interaction patted Tang San's shoulder.

"You're right. You can't trust anybody but yourself. Also, if I may borrow my master's words, there's a saying: There's no free meal in this world. So yeah, he helped you for a reason. Without a benefit, why should he help you in the first place?"

"…"

Tang San slowly nodded. He looked back at the golem in wary.

"So, will you use me as well?"

Meowmeow giggled, "You're right, but you're also wrong."

"Huh?"

Leo coughed and interrupted their conversation before things escalated for the worse. He elaborated.

"In this place, we make it clear what our relationship is. I'm a vendor, and you're a customer. You want something from me, and I'm willing to exchange it for some of your lifespan. Whatever you wish, I'll procure it for you as long as you have enough lifespan to pay."

lightsn?v?l "Eh?"

"Let me explain how my domain works…"

Leo laughed as he slowly explained what his business scheme was.