Grabbing Your Hand, Dragging you Away

Thirty-Eight

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Hearing the cold voice that belongs to Yuwen Rui, I should be loosening up, but in reality, I am instead growing increasingly alerted, only because of the strong smell of alcohol on him and his dazed speech.

Thinking up to here, I find it strange, why is it that when other people drink alcohol, their bodies carrying a stench of alcohol that makes people want to throw up, yet his is a strong yet pleasant smell of alcohol?

Could it be that this thing called alcohol is also a fan of good looks?

The person behind me does not stop his actions due to my silence, and instead, slowly uses the tip of his nose to rub against the back of neck, slowly, teasingly, accompanied by the warm and humid breathing. He lowly laughs and says: “Why aren’t you speaking?”

I maintain my posture, unmoving, quietly saying: “Cousin, you’ve been drinking?”

Yuwen Rui very clearly sounds “en”.

I speak again: “Cousin……is drunk?”

“Drunk?” He lowly mutters this word, then buries his head into my neck, sounding a muffled laugh, “That’s right ah, I’m drunk, tell me, what to do?”

What else can be done?

I secretly gnash my teeth, yet my lips are extremely obedient in say: “Cousin should return to your estate, tell someone to make a bowl of sobering up soup, then lie down and have good rest after drinking the soup. When you wake up tomorrow morning, all will be fine.”

“Mm?” Yuwen Rui’s voice suddenly sounds puzzled, “Ah-Lan, what are you saying?”

I patiently repeat, “Cousin should return to your estate, tell someone to make a bowl of sobering up soup, then lie down and have good rest after drinking the soup. And all will be fine when you wake up.”

“En……” Yuwen Rui nuzzling into me even stronger, “Didn’t hear it clearly, must really be drunk.”

I couldn’t hold back from twitching the corner of my lips, acting, he’s actually acting in front of me? How could I not have seen him fail to hear me before? I tell myself I must remain calm, and say: “Then, Cousin, I’ll help you to the chair.”

Yuwen Rui’s arms that were fastened around my waist, slowly wraps around my shoulders, then leans half his body onto me, “En.”

I say Yuwen Rui’s leaning on me, but in fact, it can be described as my entire person being wrapped into his embrace. With him weighing down on me, I walk forward step by step with difficulty, yet just as I was reaching the chair, I feel my foot get tripped by something, then after one spin, I fall to the ground, but feel no pain, because below me is a super meat cushion, classmate Yuwen Rui.

Yuwen Rui has both eyes tightly closed right now, I reach out to pat his face, “Cousin, wake up, don’t sleep.”

Yuwen Rui half opens his eyes, brown orbs carrying a hazy mist, lazily saying: “Look, Ah-Lan, who do you think I am, to be able to sleep just like that?” He furrows his brows, “I am only feeling a little unwell.”

I’m shocked upon hearing this, unwell? Don’t tell me he wants to vomit. I hurriedly say: “Quickly get up then.” Should he vomit in this position, then that truly is what we call ‘overwhelming’……

After saying that, I immediately push against his chest to get up, just that halfway there, my back is pressed down by someone, causing me to abruptly fall back. My nose was knocked sore, trying to get up again, and I was once again pressed back to his chest. I rub my nose then look at the blissful Yuwen Rui, “Cousin, the ground is cold.”

Not only does Yuwen Rui’s arms not loosen, it tightens a little more, those long and fine eyes reflecting a charming shine under the dim candlelight, “It’s fine, a little colder is just right to help sober up.”

“Will catch a cold tomorrow.” I attempt to remove his arm, “It’s better if you lie in bed for a bit, I’ll go call for someone.”

Yuwen Rui narrows his fox eyes, that handsome face giving rise to traces of gloom, “What, want to avoid me that much?”

No matter how dumb I can be, I am still aware that he is a little irregular tonight, I deeply shake my head inside, looks like this guy is indeed drunk. I say: “Cousin, let us get up first.”

Yuwen Rui’s hand that was originally hooked onto my waist suddenly moves up to presses against the back of my neck, bringing me to meet his bottomless eyes at a close and unavoidable distance. He half narrows his eyes and hooks up his thin lips, a bright shine boundlessly pouring out from his eyes, “Ah-Lan, why are always trying to escape, do you know that some people and some matters, you cannot escape from no matter what?”

I calmly smile, eyes not evading his, “What is Cousin saying, escape? Not escape? What’s it got to do with me?”

“See see see see.” The smile at Yuwen Rui’s lips grows wider, making his handsome face look more charming, yet the coldness lining his eyes freezes up more. “What’s it got to do with you? That’s right, what can this be considered in your eyes, who are you – An Ke Lan, who is able to enter your eyes. You – even more so than those monks and nuns – view the materialistic world lightly, show no care towards mortal men and vulgar people, isn’t that right?”

“Cousin’s words are right.” I play along with his words in response, “Ah-Lan is small minded, only concerned about myself.”

“Only concerned about yourself?” Yuwen Rui meaningfully says: “I just don’t believe this set up of yours, you think you can still avoid everything without any strings attached now?” He gently touches my cheek, the smile at his lips wilful and devilish, “I shared so many secrets with you, you, think you can avoid it?”

His right hand slowly caressing my waist, thin lips tenderly coming contact with the corner of mine, “That day, you were outside the doors, no?”

I tightly purse my lips, not saying a word, which day the ‘that day’ he speaks of is, we, know very well.

“Why aren’t you saying anything? Say yes? Or perhaps deny?” His tone is so gentle, his handsome face carrying a smile, yet it gives people the chills without reason, “Want me to say it for you? Say you were stood outside the doors that day, listening to my mother telling me, I – Yuwen Rui – am basically not General Yuwen’s son.” Gigantic waves appears to have been set off in his eyes, saying word by word as he looks at me: “I – Yuwen Rui – am only a mongrel, one that was born from an illicit affair she had in a moment of silliness – a mongrel, one that she despises yet couldn’t bear to abort – a mon-, -grel.”

My heart abruptly shrinks, both hands tightly clenched. I don’t know how to face such a Yuwen Rui, I……don’t understand.

“Ah-Lan, what kind of expression is that?” Yuwen Rui suddenly chuckles, his fingertip gently touching my brow, “Sympathy? Or perhaps pity? Why would you sympathise with me? Why would you pity me?” His mood instantly turns to one of rage, roughly pressing my face, both our noses tightly pushed against each other, “What right do you have to sympathise, what right do you have to pity, you are also just a fool that was neglected by others, you are also just a daughter your Father Emperor doesn’t see in his eyes, what right do you have to sympathise?! What right do you have to not care about anything at all?! What right do you have-“

“Based on the right that even you look down on yourself.” I speak up and cut off his words, tone filled with ridicule and cold arrogance, “Yuwen Rui, I sympathise with you, I pity you, only because you look down on yourself.”

After my words were said, an air of danger instantly spreads in the atmosphere, Yuwen Rui evilly looks at me, slowly saying: “What did you say?”

I coldly laugh as I say: “What did I say? What I said is nothing more than what I had thought all along.” My eyes that were looking at him is not at all timid, bursting out in laughter, “Eldest Gentleman of the Yuwen Clan? Royal Official of the Capital appointed with his majesty’s imperial seal? But is actually just a fake brat.”

I do not care for his increasingly cold expression as I continue saying: “Turns out General Madam and General’s affections were all fake, turns out General Madam couldn’t stand the loneliness and left the walls, turns out the son General had doted on for twenty years is someone else’s seed, turns out General Madam’s estrangement towards her son is because this child, was essentially born against her will.”

I lowly laugh, calmly saying: “Then everything that you – Yuwen Rui had done, what was it all for?”

Yuwen Rui grips onto my wrist, that handsome face coated in cold darkness.

I ignore the pain in my hand as I continue: “You have been more talented than others since young, you have been well versed in military strategy since young, you rescued General Yuwen from Father Emperor’s schemes, you reorganised the troops and re-established the might of the army, you brought the Yuwen Estate to once again ascend to the peak. Your power in the imperial court has expanded, even more so now, the court is filled with people standing in your faction, you can be said to cover the sky with a single hand, even Father Emperor holds you in awe and reverence. But look at everything you have done, it is nothing more than proving your own outstanding worth, you want to prove that even if you’re not Yuwen Yi’s biological son, you are still so outstanding.” I stop, reaching out to cover his pair of eyes, “Or perhaps……you are wanting to prove, you are Yuwen Yi’s son, because, you are so outstanding.”

I laugh, wilful and ridiculing, “But Yuwen Rui, you remember, even if you are more outstanding and remarkable, you are still not his son. It is exactly as you said, you are a mongrel.”

Only because, you called yourself a ‘mongrel’.

Only because of you, yourself.

After hearing these words, the stillness in Yuwen Rui’s eyes is like the calm sea before the storm, hiding countless danger and uncertainties. He suddenly grips onto me forcefully, making me cry out in pain, then overturns and puts me under the pressure of his body, lowly asking: “You finished talking?”

I move around, wanting to free my hands, “What else you want to hear? Let go!”

(Author speaking: the following content is that Ah-Rui does not say anything nor does he let go, coldly smooching Ah-Lan and so on and so on, relatively domineering, rough, breathless, etcetera etcetera, well KISS is just something like this, may you dear readers fantasise it yourselves.)

I put all my effort into avoiding his mouth, just as I reach out wanting to push him, my wrists were seized, followed by my body being unable to move under his suppression, unable to resist. (Author speaking: Ah-Rui made the move of retreating to advance, once again attacking Ah-Lan with his lips, smooch ah, smooch ah, Ah-Lan could not even get the chance to speak out in protest, the noises sounding in particularly crisp amongst the dark night ah hahahaha, the tragic scene, pretty much went like this, may you dear readers make do with this.)

(Author speaking: the two people are stuck together, inseparable ah, very tightly ah, Ah-Lan avoid whilst Ah-Rui responsively chases after her ah, then it was a matter of you chase I run, Ah-Rui is very on edge ahhh, Ah-Lan wants to kick him away but one carelessness and she feels Ah-Rui’s impulsiveness, giving her a fright, hence quietly giving up her resistance.)

Elder Struggle, Elder Impulse (name-callings, the elder part comes from [Elder] Cousin), impulse is a demon ah, demon!

Yuwen Rui vaguely laughs, gradually slowing down his advances. He leaves my lips and looks at me with ghostly eyes, “Why aren’t you continuing to resist?”

I say with a serious face: “Cousin, don’t mind the words I just said, I just want to say, who you are doesn’t matter, as long as you’re Yuwen Rui.” With this, his anger should also take a break, then hurriedly, let us get up now.

Yuwen Rui’s long and slender finger wipes away the crystal clear, suspicious substance next to his lips, elegantly narrowing his eyes as he says to me: “Just now, was you not filled with dominance, was you not very carefree with your scolding, why don’t you continue to scold now?”

“Cousin, I just couldn’t stand the sight of you being so negative.” I say with unusual sincerity.

“Admitting wrong?” He wickedly raise his brows, “Ah-Lan, it’s too late.”

(Author speaking: Ah-Rui, as though he hadn’t chewed a bone for several hundred years, he smooches and smooches there, smooching to the point that Ah-Lan wanted to smack him to his death. And then in this silent night, Ah-Rui has finally revealed his mensao (one who is quiet on the outside but is actually suppressing the deep thoughts, passion, or wild side within) in full force, that’s why we say ah, men truly cannot be trusted ah, *face full of tears*, I’m speaking nonsense)

“Yuwen Rui, you stop right now!” I truly am powerless against this type of ambiguous yet aggressive kiss, only able to make attempts of twisting my neck, shaking around, but even then I cannot escape his lips.

Yuwen Rui suddenly bites down hard, then raises his head with rough and short breaths, those eyes that are usually cold now filled with thick layers of affection.

I can see his chest rapidly rise and fall, seeming to suppressing his own intense feelings, I shake my head at him, “You’re drunk.”

A touch of a smile surfaces on his handsome face, yet it gives people the feeling of incomparable loneliness and fragility. He rubs his forehead against my face, calmly saying: “I only want her to love me a little, but she instead says I am not even a child she wanted.”

His thin lips hooks up into a nice looking curve, long and fine fox eyes calm yet empty. His quietly speaks, his voice very faint, “Ah-Lan, she doesn’t love me, then, can you love me?”

I instantly go blank when I hear this.

Love……him?

I lower my eyes, bitterly thinking, it’s not that I can’t, but I……don’t dare to.

I don’t dare to deeply love you, Yuwen Rui.