He Was Kind If I Stopped

Chapter 18

“It gives me great pleasure to know that you think of my half sister more like a sister than I do, Prince.”

Hazel smiled slightly. Perhaps because Sisef’s words were not different from before, they were digging a hole in her heart.

“So I guess It makes you want to care for the little sister.”

“She’s a little different from the perfect you.”

“I’m good on my own.”

Perhaps Sisef never knew but each of his words tore at Hazel’s heart.

He was her only friend until Lorette came to the palace.

“The heart you have for Lorette, I hope it will remain the same forever.”

Hazel managed to finish her sentence. Regardless of the feelings she had for him, she owed him.

It was Achilleon who had killed Sisef, but she was the very one who had caused the misunderstanding. Someone had left room for the Emperor (Achilleon) to accuse the Empress (Hazel) of wrongdoing.

“I do not wish to see our friendship broken, Hazel.”

Sisef’s voice was the softest it had ever been.

“We’ve been friends since the first time we met. That will never change.”

“Friends, my prince?”

A wry smile spread across Hazel’s lips. Even though she tried not to, it was difficult to suppress the emotions that kept welling up in her.

“I am the princess of Land, and you are the prince of the Demophos Empire.

“…….”

“This was before we’re Hazel and Sisef.”

Hazel tried hard to suppress the emotions that had been boiling in her chest earlier. It was all over. It was an emotion that had once again tried to crumble into a terrible mess.

She remembered the tragedy that had resulted from such a foolish mistake of madly clinging to what she could not have.

“I hope that in the future you will not visit me in such a rude manner. Now then…”

It was the moment Hazel turned around.

“I was worried.”

She heard a very gentle voice. At that moment, the hand that was grabbing her dress began to shake.

“…….”

Hazel stood frozen like a stone statue.

‘He was worried’, Sisef’s kind words had become a soft blade that stabbed her heart.

It was funny that his words could still have this effect on her.

There were times when she wanted to give her everything to that one word. She wanted to listen to whatever he wanted her to do. I never doubted that she wanted to be there for him.

But Hazel knew very well the cost of putting everything on the line for that simple word.

“When you didn’t show up for the welcome ceremony or the ball, I thought you were really sick. I’ve asked to visit you, but you’ve always refused.”

A troubled expression appeared on Sisef’s face.

“Why on earth would you do this? Please let me know if I hurt your feelings. I’ll fix it…”

“…….”

Hazel swallowed a deep breath inwardly. The supremely gentle tone in which he spoke to her, he meant it. It drove her even crazier.

Hazel opened her mouth, putting more pressure on her clenched fists.

“Make no mistake. What can you do wrong to me, the noble prince of the Empire.”

Hazel made an effort not to look back. In retrospect, she knew that if she did, it would be irreversible. So it was better to just stay like this.

“I really didn’t feel well. I didn’t want people to see me in pain. That was all.”

Even with Hazel’s explanation, Sisef still had doubts.

“You’re not avoiding me on purpose?”

He had a submissive temperament, but he could be relentlessly stubborn at times. When Hazel saw him in those moments, it was hard to believe that he and Achilleon were blood brothers, but it made sense.

And the fact that he was almost always right disturbed Hazel even more.

“I need to rest. Can you leave, please?”

Hazel’s voice sounded polite, but sharp. Even so, Sisef did not move an inch. In the end, it was Hazel who made the first move.

“If you wish to stay here a little longer, I’ll leave you to it.”

Hazel stepped towards the side door of the greenhouse.

“Hazel.”

As the sound of impatient footsteps approached, Hazel clenched her fists and stopped walking,

“…….”

Sisef came closer, his face unusually emotional.

“Don’t just keep avoiding it. Tell me if you’re angry.”

“It hurts…”

When Hazel whispered low, Sisef was surprised and hurriedly grabbed her arm.

“I’m sorry, are you hurting?”

His brown eyes flashed with panic. He could see that the skin on Hazel’s arm was red and swollen. But Hazel wasn’t surprised, as her exceptionally white skin rubbed and scraped easily.

“Thank you for your concern. Prince Sisef.”

Hazel said, pulling on her shawl to cover the red marks.

“Excuse me…”

Hazel turned again and tried to walk away, but Sisef caught her and wouldn’t let go.

“We met when we were twelve. After that, we were always together whenever I came to the palace. I came here to see you.”

Hazel’s exhaled, feeling heavy.

“…….”

“I’m sorry if that’s the last time I saw you.”

The longer his apology grew, the more sincere his words were, the more horrible Hazel’s mood became.

“I just don’t understand what you mean.”

Hazel tried to keep her composure. She didn’t want to be hurt again by her past after all this time.

“I broke my promise. Because Lorette collapsed from heatstroke.”

That was the last time Hazel saw him too. She remembered it clearly. On the day they decided to go on a picnic together, Sisef rushed to Lorette’s palace when he heard Lorette collapsed while taking a walk.

It was a sunny day, but the picnic was cancelled and all the food Hazel had painstakingly prepared for the day was thrown into the trash can.

Sisef went to apologize to Hazel then, as he did now. He rushed to Hazel’s side after he checked on Lorette, but he was already too late for the appointment.

“Didn’t the promise you made to me mean anything?”

“Lorette collapsed. I had no choice.”

“She has a court doctor! What difference does it make if you’re there?”

Sisef quietly added.

“…Yes, but she’s your sister. Hazel.”

Hazel could clearly see the disappointment that suddenly crept in in Sisef’s eyes at that moment.

It may have happened to Sisef during his last visit to the palace, but it had already been a long time for Hazel. Nevertheless, such vividness was strangely felt.

Of course, besides that, it wasn’t just once or twice that he had broken his promise to Hazel for Lorette. It had always been that way, and it would always be that way.

Sisef had a larger axis of concern tilted towards the woman he had just laid eyes on than the friendship that was made across the border.

“It’s only in the past. I didn’t know I still had it in my mind. I’m rather sorry. That day… I was very angry. I apologize. Prince.”

“…….”

Sisef looked at Hazel blankly. Hazel’s nonchalant tone made it seem like what she was upset about was just a lie.

“I think we have enough of a relationship that we don’t need to diminish its prestige. We’ve always been friends, Hazel.”

Hazel shook her head at the prince’s words.

“Not anymore.”

Hazel said with a smile on her face.

“We were inseparable in the past, but not now, aren’t we? We’re not children, we’re adults… Each of us has a country to protect. It means that even if we used to be comfortable with each other, it’s no longer possible.”

The moment he laid his eyes on Lorette, everything was over. She should have known that sooner. She was in denial, and then she remembered one day when it was shattered.

“Do you wish for me to disappear? I will rise to a higher position than you and look down on you.” (The talk of the past.)

Hazel was embraced by the emperor that day. She went into the emperor’s chamber and didn’t come out for ten days. No, she couldn’t get out. Achilleon didn’t let her leave.

Hazel didn’t care if she was broke like this. It didn’t matter if people around her made a fuss about her being a woman who sold her body, or what they said, it didn’t matter to a woman whose world was already falling apart.

She wanted to be left in their hearts after she was thoroughly destroyed. Ten days passed, and when she stepped outside, Hazel was announced as the Empress of the Empire. Everyone bowed and lowered their heads before her.

She was the woman who seduced the Emperor with her body and wore the Empress’ crown. That was Hazel. And in the end, she became the Empress who loved her brother-in-law and betrayed her husband.

Hazel stared at Sisef’s face.

“No more. Your friend is not here, Prince.”

With a more serene look in her eyes, Hazel declared.

“…….”

“Because I’ve decided to do that.”

“Hazel, this is not like you.”

Hazel wanted to ask, ‘Then what was I like?’, but she stifled the words that pinched the top of her throat. It didn’t do any good to vent her emotions carelessly.

“So please forget about all the rudeness. It was childish whining.”

Hazel stepped back slightly and greeted Sisef.

“Please leave now.”

Hazel caught him off guard and snatched the shawl from Sisef’s hand.

“Don’t do this to yourself in the future. Do not pick this up and kneel down in front of me.”

‘You have someone else to kneel to.’ Hazel swallowed her next words.