Headed by a Snake

Chapter 947 Too Much

?Poop-leaf was dead.

To Barza Keith... the Lone Shadowdark, it had become an in-consolable, in-conceivable fact.

He wasn't even sure if those were real words-- but that was the best way to describe what his heart felt!!

Only the strongest beings could turn into leaves and pull people outside of their bodies-- obviously.

Since the naked green guy beat off poop-leaf... that meant they were really, FREAKIN' strong!

Lone felt sweat start to drip down from his forehead.

Because he wasn't thinking straight, he'd said some really messed-up things!

It wasn't too late for him to take it back, though!

"I mean... I'm not saying you're wrong, uh... Sir," Lone bowed his head, "I mean to say... you're incorrect."

Did that work?

A slow, embarrassed smile crossed Lone's face.

That had to work!

The green guy didn't look too happy, though...

--but maybe he was like Boss Tycon? Maybe underneath that unmoving, eternally-annoyed face, he had... a heart of gold?

"All that's left of thy divinity runs red upon the dirt," The green person spat. "And still... you *dare* speak with such irreverence."

"Psh," Lone rolled his eyes. "And all that's left of THOU'ST divinity got SWALLOWED by thy MOM!!"

He chuckled to himself, then looked from side to side.

But none of his teammates were around, though.

...Dragan would have really liked that joke.

Tres Leches would have at least held his paw out for it.

The green person held his hand forward... but, since he was far away, he probably wasn't offering a high-five.

Lone felt the tiny hairs on the back of his neck stand up. The green guy was probably going to attack.

Was he a mage? He wasn't holding a weapon.

He was probably a mage.

"Die," He said.

The vines at Lone's feet came to life, whipping around and wrapping around his legs and torso.

"What the-- WHAT! DUDE! YOU CAN'T DO THIS!!"

"I am the TREE GOD and this is MY FOREST!! There is NOTHING I CANNOT DO!!"

Lone's eyes widened.

He was fighting the TREE GOD?! That sounded really strong!!

But... it looked like the Tree God wasn't using his strongest attacks-- which made sense. It would be embarrassing for a god to go all out against a regular human.

Lone sighed in relief as he realized the thorns on the vines weren't sharp enough to prick his skin. The last thing he wanted was to add his own blood to the pool he was standing in.

Flexing his muscles to create some space, he slipped his arms free and tore the prickly vines apart with pure, MANLY-MAN STRENGTH!

More veins were bulging out of his forearms than he remembered. It was crazy! At his level, it was super-hard to lose body fat.

...He had some questions about how or why he'd changed so much, but he doubted the Tree God could answer them.

"Y-you... how?" The Tree God muttered, "How could... a mere mortal..."

"Simple," Lone grinned. "I BE SWOL AS F*CK, YO!!! Take this! ?WindSTORMMM?!!"

As he crossed his arms in front of him, a blast of razor-sharp winds cut the dancing vines into pieces.

Lone then shot his palms forward, hitting the Tree God with a concentrated wind tunnel.

"C-cease thy actions AT ONCE, human! Your-- thy PITIFUL mortal frame cannot handle a spell of such caliber!!!"

"Hah! Yeah, right, I could do this all--"

Suddenly, lightning bolts of pain traveled up Lone's arms and electrocuted his chest. Soon, it felt like something evil had burrowed inside all his muscles-- trying to rip and tear everything apart.

Lone grit his teeth, trying to stay conscious despite the pain. Blood pooled in his throat and started to drip down his mouth.

? How many generations has it been, brother and sister? Since when has a human shown such bravery in the face of adversity? ?

...Lone thought he heard a girl's voice.

She sounded pretty.

Had he died? Even without permission?

That... that was f*cked up.

...He heard that there were pretty girls in heaven, though.

...Not like the angels he fought a couple of years ago-- but *actually* pretty girls.

The pain stopped... and it felt like... someone was hugging him? A cool, comfortable feeling washed over his body.

"Fear not, Lord Ranger," Someone whispered into his ear... "The Goddess of Love will aid thee in thy plight."

"C-Coraline?" Lone frowned, "I... I can explain."

"I'm only temporarily taking the form of your one true love, Mister Shadowdark," Coraline (Not-Coraline?) winked as she let him go. "You still have to apologize to her properly, after this."

Lone coughed into a closed fist as he turned away.

Maybe he wasn't dead, after all. He could clearly feel a burning sensation in his face.

It was like... he was blushing? But more likely, it was a side-effect of Coraline/Not-Coraline stabilizing his mana.

Wait, did she say she was a goddess?

Or... was... his girlfriend actually a goddess in disguise? Was this some kind of prank?

Lone's train of thought was cut off when a mana-empowered yell made the earth shake. Branches started to fall and some trees even started to topple.

"I am the GOD. OF. THIS. FOREST!!"

A clump of rocks and dirt exploded, revealing the battered form of the Tree God. He was scraped, bruised, and covered in a yellowish liquid... which might've been blood?

It looked gross.

It looked like ?Windstorm? was super-effective against that guy.

It also looked it really, really pissed him off.

"Insignificant ELF SCUM," He snarled. "You... DARE... TRESPASS, HERE?!??!?"

"What can I say?" Not-Coraline shrugged, "A certain Miss Heartsong has desperately prayed for her lover's safety every sun. What kind of goddess would turn a blind eye to that level of devotion?"

...Lone *really* wanted to ask how mad Real-Coraline was... but he was pretty sure he already knew the answer.

"Now, Lone," Not-Coraline whispered... in a deep... inconceivably sexy voice.

Lone bit his upper lip, "Y-yeah?"

She... smelled really, really nice.

"Go get 'em, Tiger."

Lone gulped, "Oh. OhH... Okay~"

He put his arms forward... and used mana to draw... the first few spell-circles that came to mind.

"Um... ?Hell Soul Augment?? ?Twin Spell?, ?Maximum Velocity?... ?Summon Spirit: Black Death Butterflies?."

"Wh-whoa," Coraline gasped. "That's... really cool."

Lone felt a surge of joy in his heart.

In Turrim Orientem, he'd practiced magic for what felt like tens of years. It was boring. It was tiresome. Every waking moment, he missed his friends, his girlfriend... and the light of the sun.

But... hearing Coraline compliment him... made him happier than he ever remembered being.

"Hah... haha... Oh... oh no," She giggled awkwardly. "That's too much mana to stabilize-- even for me."

Lone furrowed his brows.

"Eh?"