Heart of Darkness

Chapter 218 Unbreak my heart

Roxana never thoughts watching someone sleep would be so satisfying. After having the food challenge, she had insisted he should rest and he listened to her with a shake of his head. He had that smile where she knew it was because of something she did or said but she couldn’t understand why.

Roxana didn’t know how else to help him since he refused to see a physician. Even after the shaking ceased, he remained pale.

She watched him lay in bed, eyes closed, face relaxed. He must have been tired to fall asleep so fast.

‘But I like you that way.’ The words kept repeating in her head. What did he mean by that? Was he just admitting once again that he liked her just to push her away or was it different this time?

Was she really worried about this now instead of finding out what was wrong with him? Possession still seemed like the most sensible explanation. What else could it be? A spirit? What kind of spirit? Could spirits look like humans?

A ghost? She chuckled. What part would that explain?

Perhaps he was just a different kind of human. Maybe someone who could do certain things through miracles. Someone with special abilities, like healing. It was not impossible, right?

What about that aggressive behavior then? That was one thing she couldn’t imagine herself tolerating. It brought back bad memories. She touched her arm where he had grabbed her. It was still sore. She was glad his eyes were back to looking calm and kind.

Alexander slept for a good while. He appeared to have a peaceful sleep unlike the few other times she had watched him but after some time, he began to feel cold again. She warmed another blanket and put it on top of the first one.

How cold was he? Without a second thought, she touched his cheek with the back of her hand.

Oh, Lord! His skin felt like ice.

She crouched to see if he was even alive. “Your Majesty,” She whispered rubbing his cold skin gently.

He stirred and opened his slowly. Before she could remove her hand he placed his on top of hers, holding it against his cheek. “You are so warm.” He murmured.

“Why are you this cold?” This wasn’t normal.

“My body is tired,” he smiled faintly and with eyes still not fully open.

“Is there something I can do?” She asked.

“Don’t leave,” he said before falling asleep again.

‘Promise me, that you won’t give up on him.’ She recalled those words.

Even if he was the one pushing her away, he was afraid she would leave him. That was the case all of the time. She sighed, her heart breaking for him. She had no experience with heartbreak. She never gave her heart to anyone save her family and now her new family. She attempted to imagine the pain. How would she feel if fanny betrayed her? No matter how she tried to imagine it, she just couldn’t feel it. She couldn’t see him betraying her. He couldn’t. She knew him. She trusted him.

She looked at Alexander. He must have felt that way in the beginning. Unable to believe it. How could someone he knew, his own family betray him? She had seen so much hatred in his eyes before he collapsed. That must hurt no matter how much he hated them. They were still his parents.

And about the woman he loved. He said she didn’t belong to him. She wasn’t his to protect. She was still confused about that part.

Roxana shook her head, chasing those thoughts away. Perhaps she would know with time.

She sat near his bed, warming his cheek as he slept. His skin was unbelievably smooth, and his hair was so soft. She took her time to look closer. Even she didn’t have such long thick eyelashes. So dark against his pale skin.

Pale skin? And normally cold?

Pale skin, just like the other lords. Good looks, just like the other lords even if his beauty was on a different level. She paused. What was she trying to do through the comparison? Maybe, they were just from the same kindred.

All of them? If so, then that alone was suspicious.

She sighed and decided to forget it. Alexander was here and he wasn’t chasing her away. Yet. That should be her focus now.

Peter and Gary came to check on her during the shift. “You should get some rest. We will take over for a while.”

She shook her head. “I am fine. I would like to stay.”

They gave each other a certain look and then left. Ugh… she knew people would talk but she didn’t care right now.

Looking outside the window, she watched the sky turning bright. This time of the day always felt like the most quiet time. The most peaceful. And then the sun slowly began to rise. By this time, Roxana was slowly becoming tired. It was time to go home soon but she would have to stay. Keeping herself from falling asleep, she paced back and forth but once she sat down it took only a moment before sleep lured her into the darkness.

She had a good sleep. It was warm, soft, and comfortable and as she was waking up she just wanted to continue. She turned in bed sinking into the soft mattress and crawling under the thick warm blanket. The sheets were soft and smelled like… mint. Oh, she must be dreaming again and she didn’t want to wake up just yet. She hugged the blankets tighter. Yes. Warm, mint, and masculine. Just the way he liked it. But despite her attempts, she was waking up and soon she realized something wasn’t right. This wasn’t her bed.

Panic rose to her throat. Where was she? With dread, she tried to open her eyes. Please, it couldn’t be. She couldn’t have gotten herself into his bed. No, please. That would be too embarrassing.

She peaked through one eye first and found Alexander seated in the chair near the bed where she sat when guarding him. He watched her with a smile. “Good morning.”

“No!” Like a child, she covered her head with the blanket. “I apologize, Your Majesty. I move a lot in my sleep and sometimes I walk in my sleep. I know it doesn’t sound believable but I promise I didn’t do it on purpose.”

He chuckled. “I can’t hear you.”

Oh, she wanted to cry. She was not so desperate to get into his bed. She was NOT like that.

“Are you not getting up?” He asked when she remained hiding.

“No. If you allow me I would like to stay here for the rest of the day.”

This time he laughed and then it became quiet. She wondered what was happening until she felt him tug at the blanket.

“Ah no, Your Majesty.” She panicked holding the blanket over her head but he grabbed her wrists and pulled it down her face.

She kept her eyes shut tightly at first but when nothing happened she opened them. He sat crouched near the bed, his face close to hers just like she did last night. Her face flushed red.

“You didn’t get into my bed. I brought you here.” He told her.

Her heart skipped. “Why?” She breathed.

“You kept me warm. I wanted to keep you warm too.” He explained.

Warm? His hands were still ice-cold around her wrists and he was just as pale as last night.

“Oh,” was all she managed to say.

Releasing her wrist, he removed a few strands of hair from her face, tucking them gently behind her ear. “Thank you for staying with me the whole night.”

His tone was serious and his eyes were almost sad. His fingers remained on her skin and despite the coldness, they were distracting her in a different way.

“So, what were you dreaming about?”

She blinked not sure what he meant.

“You held the blankets tightly and smiled to yourself.” He explained.

Yes, she remembered his scent and…

“Nothing!” She called her face fleshing all shades of red. She quickly sat up and he chuckled.

Standing up he came around the bed to stand where he could see her face. Why was he doing this to her?

“I am sure you had a nice dream.”

“I was just enjoying the comfortable bed, Your Majesty!” She bit off.

Did he know? Did she say something while asleep? Oh please God, no!

“Are you sure?” He asked.

She gazed up at him with eyes shooting daggers. He smirked. She definitely said something.

“Did I say…something?”

“Like what?” He raised a brow.

Shoving the blanket aside she got out of bed. “I am glad you recovered., Your Majesty.” She spoke fast and with a curt tone.  “Thank you for lending me your bed. I shall keep going now.” She bowed and tried to walk past him but he blocked her way.

“You shouldn’t leave the room like this. You look like you had a rough night. People will get the wrong idea.” He drawled.

Right. Her hair. She tried to adjust it with her hands but he grabbed her arms and suddenly began to lead her toward the dresser.

“Your Majesty, what are you doing?”

“Allow me to help you.” He said and sat her down.

“But…”

“I listened to you last night. Now is your turn to listen to me.”

Oh well. He could just order her without explaining. He picked up a brush from the dresser and as she adjusted herself and looked into the mirror. She nearly gasped.

She had a dreadful appearance. She didn’t have particularly good hair, to begin with. It was damaged. She tried to reach for it and fix it but he stopped her by holding her wrist. “Let me take care of it.”

“Do you even know how to do it?” She blurted and then bit her tongue.

He watched her through the mirror. “I might be spoiled but I can do more things than the average person.”

She looked at him skeptically but he appeared confident.

He began to gently untangle her hair and then brush it. He was focused and careful to not cause her any pain and she watched him curiously. Why was he suddenly like this? He was heartbroken and now… he couldn’t be accepting this fast. He couldn’t have changed his mind overnight.

“I’ll walk you home.” He spoke.

“No!”

“There is a lot of denying lately.” He was quick to point.

“I mean, you are still recovering. You should rest, Your Majesty.” She hurried to add.

He looked up, meeting her gaze in the mirror. “I would like to walk you home.” He changed his statement.

Oh well. That was one way to trap someone.

“Can I deny, Your Majesty?” She asked jokingly.

“No. I am only being polite.” He said with a satisfied look as he continued to comb her hair.

She understood now. He was having fun at her expense again. She had still not punched him for his previous games. Well, she couldn’t deny that she enjoyed someone who could keep up and even beat but it did infuriate her when she looked back.  All the time when she thought she was fooling him by dressing as a man, he had just laughed at her in his mind.

Cruel king. She should have known that the ones who deliver with a nice smile are the most cunning.

Once he was done with her hair, they went through the secret passage to get out. He shivered once they stood outside. She was close to scolding him but who cared. He had himself to blame.

“Isn’t the weather nice, Your Majesty? It is so warm.” She mocked enjoying the warm sun herself.

“It is,” he said but his voice betrayed him. He was cold. She could only enjoy his misery for a while and then she felt bad.

*******

Skender tried not to shiver and ignore the icy wind. It couldn’t be that cold since it was spring and Roxana was enjoying the sun that looked like her golden hair. God, only touching her hair had done something to him.

Last night she had warmed him. Made him fall into the most peaceful slumber he had in centuries and in the morning she had stirred desire in him. Watching her sleep in his bed was the most satisfying yet arousing thing. More satisfying would be to sleep next to her.

His demon stirred at his thoughts.

“You are stubborn.” She told him, speaking of insisting to take her home.

“And you are not?”

“Not as nearly as you are.”

“Well, I differ in opinion.”

“That is because you are stubborn.” She insisted.

“Are you not too brave to insult your king?”

She stiffened but then turned to him with a smile. “I know my king is too confident to be offended by such remark and too kind to punish.”

Oh lord save him.

‘She is too good.’ The destroyer noted.

She was. Saving herself with charm as expected.

‘Are you not going to say anything?’ The destroyer wondered.

He had been quietly enjoying but also complaining about his actions.

‘Really, a food competition? Are you really just going to put her in bed? Are you really…’ and so he went on and on in his head. He still had a lot of patience to learn. At least he was only complaining now and not fighting him and somehow once he calmed down he was able to rationalize with his help. He didn’t want to scare her either. She was already questioning his sudden change.

‘Why? Are you suddenly enjoying this?’

The destroyer decided not to answer but Skender didn’t need to hear it. He could feel him. They could feel each other.

Skender watched Roxana enjoying the walk in the sun. She was leading them to walk where the sun shone the most so he wouldn’t be cold.

“You enjoy walking.” He pointed

“Yes. I have been walking and running most of my life. I am sure I have more leg muscle than most men.”

He chuckled and then remembered her legs around his hips. She had strong limbs. A strong body that would be able to handle his. His body stiffened at the thought.

Cold and stiff. An unusual combination and not the most comfortable. When they neared her home, the strong ocean breeze made him shiver even more. They stood at the dock and she turned to him, concerned about his condition.

“Do you want to come inside for a while? To get some warmth.” She asked.

Those things wouldn’t help.

“Roxana.”

“Yes.”

His hand had already found hers and she frowned. “Oh, lord! You are so cold. I shouldn’t have let you come out. What is happening to you?” She rubbed his hand but he pulled her closer.

She looked up to meet his gaze.

“Roxana.” Her breath stilled. “You can’t warm the skin of a cold soul.”

She frowned. “Then how can I warm your soul?”

He stepped closer, his cold body seeking the warmth of hers. “It is already warming up. Your words, your laughter, your touch, and your care warms my soul.”

“It does?”

He caressed her face with the back of his hand. “Yes.”

“Then will you let me stay until you are completely warm?”

He smiled. “Only until then?”

“And after.”

His hand went to her chin and he lifted her head. He was done with the fun part. Now he was serious. He was giving his heart away once again. It was no game.

“It is forever Roxana. Being with me, becoming mine is never or forever. Once you decide and I make you mine, there is no going back. No changing mind. I will not let you go.” He shivered. “I will become forever yours and you will become forever mine.”

“It sounds like till death do us apart.” She said. “I like it.”

Maybe she wouldn’t after she found out he was a demon. He tried not to be too happy yet.

She placed her hand on his chest. “Don’t be afraid. I will take care of your heart. Love would warm your soul.” She smiled. “But we could still warm your body. We shouldn’t let you get sick.”

“Warming the body is not difficult.” He said wrapping his arms around her. “A kiss would solve it.”