HEX: Aspect Of The Void

Chapter 113 - A Primordial's Despair

"What do you think about our existence?" 

I once put forward this question to my siblings. It was just a regard day in the Heavenly Realm, a place we built to inhabit. The question was on my mind for quite some time, so I asked them, hoping they could give me a satisfactory answer.

"I'm not quite sure I understand your question, brother" Leviathan spoke up in a semi-curious tone.

"I mean, we Primordials... Where do we come from?" I emphasized.

They all looked at me strangely. Even Leviathan, the smartest and oldest of them gave me a blank expression.

"Didn't we exist before anything else? It's unnecessary to ask such a question, isn't it? We existed before everything else. There can be no reason for it" Leviathan answered.

The rest of my siblings joined him in agreement, but I wasn't satisfied with that answer.

"What about you big brother? Where do you think we come from?" Sol, the youngest of us asked me.

I opened my mouth to speak, but I didn't know how to describe the turmoil within me. How was I to tell them my theory? Would they even believe me, or simply look at me as if U had finally gone mad, though concepts such as madness had not been created at that time.

"Is it not possible that we came from something, somewhere? It's a rule that something can not exist without something. There can not be anything without a prior thing. You said do yourself, Leviathan..." I began.

Leviathan appeared conflicted by my words and looked away from me awkwardly.

"I was the first to exist in this plane, and do you know what I saw? Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Doesn't that mean that everything we know, even we came from nothing... Doesn't that mean we were birthed by some sort of existence other than us?" I said to them.

They all maintained silence as they watched me express my absurd thoughts. Clearly, they couldn't relate to my theory, but their next reaction shocked me.

"Hahaha hahaha"

They all laughed at my words, as though I was joking with them. This matter bothered me a lot, yet they did not even take it seriously. The thought that we, the ones considered the most powerful and oldest existence in the world were actually brought into existence by someone or something else, wouldn't that mean such an existence surpassed ours? If that was the case, then just what are we Primordials? What are the gods?

"Brother, I think you are overthinking it. If we are to follow your line of thought, wouldn't that mean that the being who supposedly brought us forth was also brought forth by another higher being who was also brought forth by another... Do you see? The chain would never end! Despite what the rule of this world states, that for something to exist, it must be caused by something else, we are exceptions to them. After all, we existed before the world was made, weren't we?" Leviathan said with a smile.

I had no choice but to agree with his words, they made a lot of sense after all. However... They didn't make complete sense.

"What about the gods?" I asked.

Leviathan's smile faded as I said this.

"What about them?" He asked.

"How do they exist? Clearly, we didn't make them! Anytime we use our Aspects to make something of relevance in this world, a god appears. The god then possesses divine authority over that thing, subject only to us. Don't you all find that to be strange?" I asked.

"Strange... How so?" 

"Think about it! Where do they come from? If what you say is right, and we existed before the world, making us none subject to the rule of nonexistence without cause, what about the gods? They continue to spring into existence after making the world. We are not the ones responsible for their creation, so who is?" I questioned.

Leviathan went into deep thought at my question. The other Primordials couldn't answer as well. Finally, Sol raised his hands to say something. We all turned out attention to him as he spoke.

"What if the gods were made according to the wills of our Aspects? Maybe we unconsciously made them by creating concepts that they not govern?" 

I was surprised to hear this. What he said also made a lot of sense. The other Primordials hailed Sol for bringing up his theory, and they all accepted it very easily. Gilga even teased Sol, saying it was unlike him to give an answer that was so smart.

Everyone burst into laugher due to Gilga's comments and Sol whined about it. Everyone laughed even more, everyone except me.

Is it only me? Am I the only one who thinks this is strange? To question my existence, the existence of my siblings, of the gods... Was it strange to do so?

This was what prompted me to start creating Treasures. The obsession with making something, to find out the answer that lies in creation, to fill the empty void within me I created. Even though it was against the nature of my Aspect, I kept on making and making, hoping to find the answer to my questions one day.

The answer came to me after we executed the humanity project.

As I watched the feeble creatures, the humans, I had an epiphany. I saw them become the dominant species on their planet, I saw them build, I saw them procreate... It all felt so... So similar to what was going on in my world.

The Primordials made their planet, among countless other planets, among countless other worlds... Yet, they didn't know anything beyond the little sphere they called their world. They were under our direct control, yet they didn't seem to be aware of that fact. They worshipped us, and we're vaguely aware of our existence, but they all followed the program given to them by their creators. There was no way they could defy the codes installed within them as they were made.

The thought came to me...

"Are we the same?!"

Was it possible that this giant world we made our own and reigned supreme over was just a little sphere in the eyes Of a much larger, much more supreme being... If they, the humans were subject to the gods, who were subject to us Primordials... Are we subject to a higher being? If that was the case, what would such a being be?

It would be none other than THE #$%&@

Realizing this, I fell into deep agony and found myself hating every moment as it passed. The feeling of being under the control and manipulation of someone made me lose all sense of meaning in my life.

"Who am I? Are these thoughts even mine? Just how much of everything is real?" Questions upon questions flooded through me, and even answering those questions were beyond me.

It was then I came to realize the true meaning of despair, and the moment I finally found my answer, I made a vow to myself never to waver. No matter what... I will destroy THE WORLD!

______________________________

"Let's try making gods" I suggested one day.

After reaching my answer, I had to spring into action... Test out every variable to be able to understand the mechanics of our existence.

"What's with this out of nowhere again?" Leviathan asked.

"Hehehehe, Big Brother Hexarion is always like this" Sol laughed.

"Just listen to me first" I pleaded with them.

"You once said that we might have unconsciously made the gods, right, Sol?"

"Ah, you still remember that? How embarrassing…" Sol laughed awkwardly.

Of course, I did. His words never left me, none of their words did.

"If that's true, shouldn't we be able to make the gods consciously?" I said.

They were all stunned by my proposal. Every one of the Primordials was creative, making things and bringing up ideas that even amazed me countless times, yet why did none of them ever think of this?

"I mean, that could actually work…" Leviathan said thoughtfully, though I sensed a form of hesitation in his voice for some reason.

"Why not? Since Big Brother said we should let's give it a shot!" Sol let out energetically.

"Well, I'm always up for some creating, anytime!" Gilga grinned confidently.

The other Primordials agreed

I smiled as I watched them agree to my idea. Finally, they were listening. I had to see if it was possible. Maybe, just maybe…

We tried the project for thousands of centuries… millennia, yet nothing bore fruit. It became painfully obvious to me that we couldn't do it! We couldn't make a god!

"Why? No matter what we try… Why isn't it working?" Gilga said in frustration.

What baffled us the most was that while we still tried to make gods, other gods kept being born. Since they existed based on concepts caused by us, strange gods began to appear.

Koalemos, the god of stupidity and failure

Eris, the goddess of discord

Atë, the god of mistakes.

This served only to frustrate my siblings further. For the first time, we found something that we, the omnipotent and supreme ones couldn't do… Make a fully functional and legitimate god.

My siblings were frustrated, but I? I was finally able to confirm my suspicion….

"I knew it after all… We are not the most powerful beings in existence… They are actually the… @&#%$!"