How-not to be an Olympian God!

Chapter 2 - Hermes, Messenger Of Olympus

Alex eventually woke up from what seemed like an eternity.

He opened his eyes, feeling unexpectedly refreshed, and looked around. He was sitting on a very large and ornamented bed and the surroundings were decorated in an antique and floral style, with overgrown flowers blossoming onto the walls of this large room.

Perceiving the unfamiliar scenery, only now has Alex realized that he collapsed in the middle of the day and woke up in a place that looks a bit, no, very different to his city downtown 60 sq-meter home.

A sense of paranoia filled him and he could not bring himself to appreciate the beautiful interiors before knowing where he was.

He might have been drugged and kidnapped, although Alex didn't really understand why he would be kidnapped as his family doesn't really have any money to pay ransom.

To be fair, for a kidnapping, the bed he woke up on was surprisingly comfortable and the surroundings were quite pleasant.

Alex stood up to investigate his whereabouts and, to his surprise, his body felt very light, as if he suddenly lost a few dozen pounds and his steps quick and nimble. He thus proceeded to approach to the large windows in front of his bed and look out to the exterior of this unknown place.

"wow...." He let out a gasp involuntarily as his eyes glowed, reflecting the beauty of the scene before him.

Alex could see snow-white mountain peaks as far as the eyes could go yet the snow couldn't hide the jagged rocks and chaotic terrain.

It was as if he was transported from an urbanized downtown to the remote Alps.

Strangely though, despite the snow outside, the inside of the building was warm and the flowers were blooming like it was April.

While he stood in a trance at the sight of the landscape , Alex heard the gates to the room open up and heard a voice behind him.

"Finally woke up heh?" The person spoke quickly, and with a rather playful voice, and although the voice was rather androgynous, it sounded rather manly.

Alex turned around to look at the stranger approaching him in steady and quiet steps, and the latter halted his steps upon noticing Alex's gaze, and gave him a sharp look.

The man was dressed rather skimpily, with a short purple toga concealing his private parts and wrapping around his shoulders.

He was rather short in stature, however, his lean muscles chiseled his body into a flesh sculpture similar to Michelangelo's statue David, and his face was similarly handsome with sharp and angled eyebrows.

His eyes were shaped like an eagle's and hosted a purple iris giving him a somewhat mischievous and mystical flair.

Despite being shorter than Alex, those eyes almost seemed to look down on him, although that feeling only lasted a few seconds, only to be replaced by a playfulness that seemed default to this person.

Most surprisingly though, the stranger had a pair of large wings enclosed on his back...

Although he was good-looking, the man would frankly look quite ridiculous in a crowd of people and at worst, be arrested for public indecency. Alex suddenly felt a chill in his back; the cosplay, the interior design, the surroundings....

'Was I kidnapped into a cold fetishist's home?' He pondered as cold sweat ran down his back.

The man seemed to sense his fear and looked at him even more playfully, giving Alex goosebumps as he stepped back in slow steps. Fortunately for him, though, a voice would ring out in the room and distract the man.

"Be serious, Hermes."

The voice was a bit low-pitched but the tone sounded like a woman's, though it was lacking any sort of emotion.

Seeing the stranger's attention distracted by the voice, Alex made a run for it, but the way to the door was occupied by the man so he ran for the window and jumped, hoping that the snow would cushion his fall.

Feeling the sharp and cold wind hitting his face, Alex felt relieved he had escaped but before he could even land, he felt a thin and long object halting his descent, so he looked down, only to see a silver staff floating in the air that was supporting his whole body.

The staff had a peculiar design but that was not as important as the shock Alex felt as the staff started rapidly ascending and he had to hold it tightly and close his eyes as not to fall.

5..10...20 seconds later...

The staff stopped moving and remained stationary.

Alex opened his eyes and regretted it immediately. Looking down he could see he was at last hundreds of meters up in the air and although the air felt a bit thin, he unexpectedly didn't have any difficulty breathing.

From this high up, even the colossal mountain peaks he saw earlier looked insignificant but he knew not to get careless as a fall from this high up wouldn't get cushioned in the slightest by any amount of snow.

"Boo!" said a voice screaming as if to scare Alex, and it worked.

Alex jumped in fright and almost let go of the staff and fell to his death. He then turned around with spiteful eyes and even though he thought the floating staff would be the last of his surprises for today, he saw the man named Hermes floating in mid-air, with his pair of wings flapping gently. Alex felt his eyeballs almost pop out of his body like they do in children's cartoons.

"Hehehehehehe" Hermes was still laughing as he looked at me with those godd*mned mischievous eyes.

"Who are y-you? I-Is this a dream?" Alex kept stuttering as he spoke, and the 'Hermes', whoever he was, seemed to find that funny too. He must have low standards for humour if everything amused him this much.

" *Kuhum* I'm Hermes, messenger of Olympus, God of medicine, trade and shepherding, to list a few. I sent an 'email' to your realm earlier which you responded to. Do you remember?"

'Hermes' cleared his throat and tried to speak in a serious tone, producing a comedic effect as his eyes were still as mischievous as earlier.

Hermes was one of the more relevant gods inherited from the Greeks, and he was also often depicted as a god of lies and manipulation.

In response to his question, Alex fell into thought and remembered a thoroughly unnoteworthy event which in actuality, seemed to be much more related to his current predicament than he thought.

"Yes. So what? Are you trying to tell me I was recruited into the Greek world and the peak of Olympus by responding to that email?" Alex replied with a question of his own.

"Exactly. And it's not a 'dream' as you mortals call those. You were brought to Olympus from your realm to become a member of our pantheon, an esteemed god." Hermes calmly responded.

"Do you really 'recruit' gods through email? It doesn't seem to me that gods are as common as grass so it does strike off as weird." Alex said with an excited voice.

Although he was bit skeptical on whether this was a dream or not, his 23-year old starving for new experiences was already beating wildly at the possibility that he was really brought over to another world.

"It's quite a long story. My dear sister Athena and I found Ambrosia, which can turn mortals into deities and we decided not to tell father Zeus, Oops, I shouldn't have said that. We wanted to try this priceless Ambrosia to add another member to the family, as it has felt quite lonely recently and Athena found a tool which can transmit messages and objects to and from your realm so came to the conclusion that it would be best to bring over a mortal from that place to use Ambrosia on." Hermes then paused, rolled his eyes and resumed his speech.

"Aphrodite eavesdropped on us and joined in too, although I'd much prefer it if she didn't, as that moron is starving for sh*t to stir." Hermes calmly explained and used terminology Alex had trouble keeping up with.

It was just very overwhelming.

"But, from what I know from my world, isn't Zeus quite temperamental? What if he discovers your plan?" Alex responded with his most pressing question. In his world, while Greek mythology was just that, mythology, he has studied some of it in school before and knew that the King of Gods, Zeus, could be a very unpleasant figure.

" Bingo! That's a term I learned from your world. The plan is to pretend you are Athena's son from a dead mortal and a demi-god who was granted residence in Olympus. In addition, you aren't going to be meeting Father Zeus very often, he's a bit *Kuhum* prideful."

"I will try to make sense of what you are saying. But, could we go back down and discuss everything in the safety of the ground?" Although Alex was trying to maintain a conversation with Hermes, he couldn't keep his head from periodically tilting down and seeing the ground so far away, it's not good for the heart.

"Will do!" Said Hermes with the same playful tone as usual.

Alex felt the staff starting to descend and Hermes was following too, flapping his unrealistic pair of wings and descending.

Even if Alex was still unconvinced that he was fully awake and these happenings were not a dream, he couldn't help but hope that he stumbled upon something extraordinary.

*Small Disclaimer*

- If you see anything that you consider as a wrong adaptation of a Greek god, character or myth, it is probably done on purpose for plot reasons. Of course, I'm open to discussing it with you to explain further -