Humanity's Greatest Mecha Warrior System

Chapter 564 564 I Can Do Dad Jokes Too

"These profit levels are incredible. We could fully refit a planet every year with the sort of income that is coming back to us from a deal like this since industrial equipment for farming, and mining is not on the restricted list.

As I'm sure you know, food crops are vital to the growth of a new colony, like the one we are working on developing here once the work of the Terraforming Array is finished. The Innu Tech Nomads that we met did an amazing job assisting us in the endeavor to produce them." Max gushed, doing his best to look overjoyed at the potential to sign the agreement.

"Alliance Legalese can be a bit tricky, but I can summarize the deal for you if you like? We have a draft copy here, verified by our own legal experts, which the Innu on your crew can verify are fully accredited lawyers of the Alliance, with all of the training and ethical standards expected of the largest group of Galaxies the universe has ever known.

"That would save us weeks with a translator if he would be willing to summarize the document for us." Max agreed, and the negotiator took out the modified data tablet before signing it with a graceful flourish.

"That is a secure and official data tablet. All modifications are fully logged and verifiable by any Alliance computer, including the Observers in orbit nearby. I have signed it here today, so as soon as you add your own, we can make it legally binding and have it verified to begin our agreement and get the finest of Alliance technology flowing your way."

"That would be incredible. The things we could gain from the Alliance would increase the living standards for our people to levels they have never seen." Max replied with a childish smile.

[Oh, you've got them now. They fully believe that you have a childlike intellect. Just watch. I bet he doesn't even read the agreement as he explains it.] The Illithid laughed.

His estimation was spot on. They didn't read a thing from the actual document, only gave a very glowing and very false report of what each clause meant. Over the course of the next ten minutes, the excitement on the faces of Nico and the Innu became impossible to hide, but the guests only thought it was a sign that they truly wanted this deal to go right.

"Humans are not an indecisive species. I will sign this now and have an observer verify the legitimacy of the documents." Max agreed, adding his signature to the document that he had verified still said what Nico and her partner wanted it to.

They had made no attempt to change it back, so Max felt confident in opening a link to the Observers vessel in orbit beside them.

The body of an unknown Valkia appeared in holographic form across from them at the table, and Max slid the document over to them.

"We need your assistance to verify that this document is legitimate, properly signed, and legally binding," Max informed the woman with a confident smile that made the Valkia flinch a little.

"Will humans never learn that baring your teeth at people is not a sign of friendliness among most species? But it isn't a problem for me to verify that tablet. I have already established the link and verified the time of the last edit and signing.

I just need to go through the body to ensure there are no improper clauses, as determined by Alliance law."

The Valkia went silent for a moment, then began to look shocked, then horrified, before she seemed to completely break and begin laughing hysterically.

"Tell me, gentlemen of Dillon Industries, did you verify the document that you provided for signature, or did you just assume that they would not try anything underhanded?" She finally managed to ask.

"We have provided the document. There was no reason to verify its validity." The negotiator stated confidently.

"Even when sitting across the table from a hostile Innu and a species with unknown capabilities?" She continued.

"The document was in a secure pouch. They had no contact with it. I am certain that none but the Commander and our representative have touched the secure tablet since it entered the vessel."

Now the Valkia almost looked confused, but she was already aware of the Innu's ability to hack without contact and wasn't nearly as foolish as these men.

"The last edit of this document was less than five minutes before signature, which is standard for most agreements, but the contents of this one are somewhat disturbing. Not to mention that they break dozens of Alliance laws on providing military support to non-member species, as well as violations of import laws, tax laws, and at least four sentient beings' rights violations in the section where you agreed to have your Dillon Industries workers produce unlimited amounts of product for sale at less than patent cost, with workers paid on a percentage of profit."

Now the man snatched the document back and began reading through it, going through the same gamut that the Valkia did, but with much more horror.

"There is a clause in there about payment of a penalty for early cancellation. Think of it as a welcoming gift from Humanity. Just a small prank on someone who greatly underestimated our ability to negotiate a deal or understand a legal document." Max informed him with a smile.

"As they are not members and can make a case that they didn't include any violations of Alliance law on their part in the document, we would like to have some words with your corporate team after this meeting.

The Alliance Councils hereby declare the agreement legally binding but invalid due to the highlighted clauses. No violations of the law were actually made at this point, but Dillon Industries will face a formal inquiry into why they would sign such a document." The Valkia announced.

"Now, would you like to start over with a proper trade agreement, or are we finished here?" Max asked the man across the table from him.

"How dare you reject our offer and attempt to humiliate us like that? Do you think that we are a joke? Someone you can insult without consequence? I will have you know that our CEO has a cousin on the Leadership Council of the Alliance. One word from me and your species will never become members." The man shouted, ignoring the hologram of the Valkia, that was shaking her head in awe at his idiocy.

"That sounded a lot like an admission of corruption on your Council to me. What do you say, observer?" The Illithid asked politely.

"We will investigate the matter. All accusations of corruption filed by an Illithid are required to be treated as serious matters due to their mind reading capabilities." She agreed.

"Illithid? This is a human vessel. We scanned it and found that there were no Illithid life forms on board." The Dillon Industries lawyer insisted.

"For the sake of security, the shielding of the interior of Terminus is designed to hide the presence of life from outside scanners. This is standard practice for all military vessels and one you would have realized if you had actually scanned the ship." The Illithid replied calmly.

"I will now require the members of Dillon Industries to return to your vessel and report immediately to the observation vessel for questioning. You may continue your negotiations later, and hopefully with a more competent start than this dismal showing. You have fifteen minutes to comply." The Valkia informed them, then cut the link.

"That was fun. We should do it again sometime. I will have Miss Rage and a security detail escort you back to your vessel as required by Alliance protocol."