I am the Queen

Chapter 42 - 42

"Did you ever like me?"

This was the question weighing his heart for months. This was the question that made him anxious, feeling less of a man. This was the question for her appearing every time in his mind even though he was together with Sisley. This was the question that made him blame her for everything. Justifying his actions for betraying her. Comparing her every chances he got. Pointing at her character every time they were together. Ridiculing every little actions she took.

He was bitter.

He was angry.

He was sad.

He was . . . hurt.

Hurt since he truly liked her. Had given his attention and affection to her only to feel that his affection wasn't mutual.

Evangeline's icy countenance wavered and the coldness in her gaze cracked. Her eyes stung and moistened . . . or was it the effects of the light?

Her lips curved in a smile. This time, the smile didn't contain anything, it was purely . . . a smile. A sad smile –– from the bottom of her heart.

"I never would have said yes if there were no feelings involved."

". . ."

". . ."

Aghh . . . So that's how it was . . .

Daniel's eyes dropped. His eyelids grew heavy as he smiled sadly at himself. I . . .

. . . screwed up . . .

Raising his head, he stared at Evangeline, face serious. His expression, unwavering and remorseful.

"Evangeline . . . I'm sorry." With this, let us end our chapter together.

Evangeline didn't utter a word. Beneath her gaze held complicated emotions as she watched the man she once liked finally ending things between them. Her feelings were in a complete mess.

However . . . she was relieved.

Was it because she no longer had any resentment towards him or was it because she was relieved because he didn't hate her despite everything else?

She herself didn't know the answer.

. . .

. . .

After the heavy silence, Daniel grabbed something inside his pocket and handed it to Evangeline.

The light atmosphere brought by their reconciliation turned tense in an instant when Evangeline laid eyes on the thick brown envelope.

Her gaze reverted to its usual coldness, even more freezing than before as she asked in a soft voice laced in frozen ice dripped in scorn, "What is this?"

Daniel regretted his rash actions upon sensing the change in Evangeline's mood. But it was too late to back out now. "I heard you're in a tight spot . . . Let me help you."

His tone was soft and pleasing, yet Evangeline didn't hear any of that. She scoffed without any intention of taking the envelope.

"Looks like you believe the rumors."

Knitting his browse, Daniel sighed. Still, he didn't lose his patience. Though they broke up officially and now settled everything, he wanted to help her as a friend.

But he did regret his impulsive actions. He admitted that he was too thoughtless at handing the envelope just like that. He should have asked about it first before he acted.

Brushing his hand through his hair, he retracted his gaze from hers. For a time, he didn't know how to explain himself.

"It's not because I believe it . . . It's just that . . . I'm worried about you."

Evangeline dryly laughed with no humor.

"You speak that you don't believe the rumors, but the moment you brought out that envelope, isn't it proof enough that you already took a side?"

Contrary to expectations, Daniel didn't get angry. Instead, he stared at Evangeline, face and voice solemn.

"If you tell me that all of those are rumors, I will believe you one hundred percent . . . but you didn't. From the start, you didn't trust me enough to tell me anything. From the start, you didn't give your all in our relationship for reasons I don't know. How do you expect someone to understand if you don't explain? How do you expect someone to trust you if you don't talk? If you don't say anything, how do you expect me to understand? I can't read minds."

"I'm offering you my help not because I believe the rumors, I'm offering it because I'm worried about you." Daniel leaned closer to Evangeline, thinking of grabbing her hand. But he quickly eradicated the idea.

"Even though we've broken up, it didn't mean that I'll be heartless and turn to the other side knowing that you're in trouble. At least . . . from the one year that we have been together I . . ." For a moment, Daniel didn't know what he should say as he just stared at her.

". . ."

". . ."

When there was still no reaction from her, Daniel sighed. He leaned on his chair, looking at the racing droplets of water on the foggy window. His expression melancholic and a bit sad.

". . . I thought of you as a friend . . . ," he murmured when silence engulfed them.

Evangeline's eyelashes quivered. Without saying anything, she stood and walked towards the exit while Daniel said nothing more. He didn't even glance at her. He was fixated on the droplets of rain, but his mind was drifting.

Eric stood to his feet, and bowed. He expressed his gratitude for the meal and ran to Evangeline's side.

RUMBLE!

RUMBLE!

Raining sounds and thunder greeted Evangeline and Eric the moment they went out from the restaurant.

"Wait here. I'll go and get the raincoats." Without waiting for Evangeline's reply, Eric stormed the parking lot amidst the rain while Evangeline remained rooted on her spot.

She appeared calm and composed. However, her mind wondered to that point in time where the summer breeze blew past the open window of a half-empty classroom. Her eyes glint in forlorn as she remembered those blue eyes, like the sky was staring at her. His dimple smile that made her lips curved in a delightful smirk. His pleasing, friendly tone as he introduced himself as his ears blushed a faint red that made her lips trembled in a teasing grin.

You were the first man who was nice to me without judgment. Without prejudice. You are . . . kind.

Because you told me you like me, I assumed you'd understand even without me speaking my feelings.

Was I wrong?

Or is it your feelings wasn't deep to begin with?

She raised her head up to the dark grey clouds, and smiled bitterly at herself.

Am I not the same?

She then looked at the man who was hurrying to her with raincoats in hand.

Are you . . . are you also the same?

Did you misunderstand me too? Or is it . . . you simply didn't care?

"What's wrong?"

No . . .

"Come on, let's go while the rain isn't heavy yet."

Only you . . .

She held his raincoat, halting him as she stared straight into his bewildered silver eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Only you . . . I don't want you to misunderstand.