I Became a Sick Nobleman

Chapter 148: Stand firm again (2)

Chapter 148: Stand firm again (2)

***

Tyson led them to a small mountain located behind the mansion.

“This is the highest and quietest spot in Setiria. You should be able to see the whole of Setiria from here.”

With Hold’s assistance, Ruel climbed the mountain comfortably and sat on a rock, inhaling Breath as he looked down below.

Just as Tyson said, he could faintly see the mansion, the central area called Apor, and even the distant village of Sisel.

Ha…

Ruel let out a deep sigh and inhaled again.

The cold air filling his lungs didn’t feel so bad.

The snow, which had been falling until recently, showed no signs of stopping.

Tyson draped a blanket over Ruel and offered, “If you feel cold, just let me know.”

“I’m not cold. It feels warm.”

Even without a cup of cocoa in his hands, flames danced around Ruel, providing warmth.

Ruel looked at Leo running around to eat snow and the spirits talking with a new spirit, and called out to Tyson.

“Uncle.”

“Go ahead.”

“There’s something I haven’t told you for a while. A lot has happened today, but… can I share it with you?”

“I want to hear everything,” Tyson said.

Ruel poured out everything he hadn’t been able to tell Tyson— stories he heard from Jan and the truths he had learned today.

As Ruel conveyed his thoughts, he felt an inexplicable sense of relief wash over him. When he finished speaking, Tyson let out a deep sigh, his gaze fixed on the sky.

“Ruel.”

“Yes, Uncle?”

“I’m sorry.”

“…?”

“If I were a direct descendant, I wouldn’t have burdened you with this difficult task.”

“No, it’s not your fault. The one who deserves to be killed is already dead.” Ruel chuckled for a moment.

The first Setiria.

It seemed he should issue orders to dig up that bastard’s grave tomorrow.

If someone dared to say anything about disturbing the ancestors, he would have Cassion break that person’s fingers.

“Uncle, there are so many people who say they feel sorry for me. Please, you don’t have to apologize, Uncle.”

“Alright. I’ll try not to.”

“Uncle.”

“Go ahead.”

“Can I… admit that I’m struggling?”

Tyson clenched his fists upon hearing Ruel’s words. 

The child who rarely showed his emotions was expressing his difficulties, and it weighed heavily on Tyson’s heart.

“Can I… say that I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed?”

Seeing Ruel, who struggled to even voice that, filled Tyson with a deep sense of sorrow.

“Of course… you can say anything.” Tyson’s voice trembled.

The burdens on the child, who was already suffering, kept piling up.

Since Ruel asked him not to feel sorry, Tyson held back his own urge to express pity.

“I’m scared,” Ruel cautiously spoke while looking around Setiria. Then, he let out a bitter laugh— a smile tinged with deep sadness.

“I don’t know if I have the right to feel this way.”

“You have every right to feel that way; in fact, you should. You are Ruel before being the head of this family.”

“Uncle,” Ruel called Tyson quietly.

“Please forget everything I’m saying today. Just think of it as the foolish words of a child who hasn’t even gone through his coming-of-age ceremony yet.”

Before being the head of the family, he was just one person.

There were some things that should never be shown.

Just a little, but he had let a glimpse slip through.

Not wanting the mask covering his face to crack just yet, Ruel steadied his emotions once again.

“Ruel, right now, I’m not looking at you as the head of the family.”

Tyson’s words caused Ruel’s lips to tremble slightly.

“Yes, thank you.”

Ruel swallowed the emotions welling up in his throat and gazed at the snowflakes falling from the sky. The fear he experienced today, the weight of the burdens pressing down on his shoulders.

He had to forget all of it and become the head of the family. He hoped everything would be buried deep, deep within the snow. 

Ruel exhaled another long breath.

***

“Ruel-nim, it’s time to wake up and have breakfast…” Cassion halted as he opened the door and found the bed empty. He entered the room, curious about the situation, and discovered Ruel sitting at the desk.

“Perfect timing. Here, take this to Billo.” Ruel handed Cassion a neatly signed document.

Cassion almost unconsciously reached for the documents, surprised at how natural Ruel’s action was.

Very soon, a burning sensation surged from below his abdomen.

He realized that he hadn’t brought those documents himself; someone else had delivered them. 

Someone in this mansion who could be easily swayed for a handful of gold coins.

“Ruel-nim.” Cassion’s tone was unusually harsh.

Leo, who sat right next to Ruel, perked up his ears and looked at Cassion. 

—This body warned him. Truly!

Ruel laughed out loud at the sight of Leo’s panicked expression, as if he was afraid Cassion wouldn’t make him a snack.

“Ruel-nim,” Cassion called his name again, and Ruel answered with a smile.

“Say.”

“Would you stop working if I broke Noah’s leg?”

It hadn’t even been a week since Ruel collapsed and woke up.

By now, he should be slightly better and able to move around looking for things to do.

Ruel raised the corner of his mouth.

A characteristic arrogant smile crept onto Ruel’s face.

“If you break Noah’s legs, then what? Will you move on to Hina’s legs next? And after that, how many of your subordinate’s will you need to break?”

That damned mouth of his.

Cassion frowned as he felt pain in his heart.

“…Wow, how terrifying. What curse did I utter to make your face contort in pain?” Ruel feigned shock, widening his eyes dramatically.

“Have you… slept?”

“Yeah.”

—You didn’t sleep.

Leo spoke simultaneously with Ruel but quickly lowered his ears under Ruel’s gaze.

—Ruel slept… a little. As much as this body’ two front paws, nay, one, and that’s not sleeping!

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll sleep later.”

Ruel got up from his seat and stumbled while trying to inhale Breath.

Cassion caught him, observing him quietly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Ruel was momentarily taken aback, but he swiftly masked his surprise and replied, “It’s just occasional dizziness.”

A hint of skepticism appeared in the corners of Cassion’s eyes. “Are you testing my patience right now? Or do you want to see Billo collapse from high blood pressure just so you can feel better?”

“Why Billo?”

“He’s someone who worries about you day and night. Do you really think he’d be happy to receive this document? He’s already anxious because of what happened recently.”

“Cassion, this was originally my task. I said I would handle it myself. Why are you behaving like this?”

Uncharacteristically, Ruel quickly grew irritated. 

His mind was already in disarray. He constantly felt guilt for suddenly collapsing. 

Had he not thought so carelessly about whether the Great Man could simply change his illness to something different, perhaps the situation would have been slightly different.

“I can handle this much,” Ruel’s voice gained strength. “Even in my current state, I can handle paperwork! Why do you always try to stop me from doing anything? Why do you keep insisting I stay still?”

But what more could he do? 

Resting quietly caused pain, and even with painkillers, it persisted. 

Breathing properly at night was a daily struggle. 

It felt as if the taste of blood lingered in his mouth with every breath.

Every day was torment for him. 

Yet, why were those who worried about him the ones suffering the most? 

It was becoming increasingly difficult for him to witness that sight. 

He understood logically that his tasks were being delegated to others, but he disliked it.

“Ruel-nim, please forgive my rudeness,” Cassion realized his mistake.

He should have noticed that Ruel was on edge.

He had carelessly poked an already distressed beehive.

Leo fidgeted uncomfortably, and Ruel wiped his face and composed himself.

“No… it’s just that my mind is in chaos. I spoke out of frustration. Just pretend you didn’t hear it.”

On the day he climbed the mountain with Tyson, he thought he had emptied everything out.

Yet many things still churned inside him, causing him to be irritable.

This shouldn’t happen.

“Cassion.”

Cassion remained silent but quietly looked at Ruel.

“…never mind.”

Cassion stopping him was part of his duty as a butler.

That wasn’t what frustrated Ruel.

He was simply frustrated that his body wasn’t cooperating with him today.

Cassion was about to withdraw, hesitatingly asking, “What about meals?”

“I should eat,” Ruel replied. 

He sat on the edge of the bed and let out a small laugh. 

Skipping a meal would only weaken his body further, making it harder to endure his illness.

Upon hearing Ruel’s response, Cassion blurted out, “Ruel-nim, today I will turn a blind eye and a deaf ear.”

It was a declaration that he wouldn’t intervene at all for the day.

“Are you serious?” Ruel was slightly taken aback.

To some extent, he knew he had become like a car without brakes. Since Cassion had always been the one to restrain him, he might have felt an even stronger urge to step on the accelerator.

“Yes. Then I will take my leave first.” Cassion responded neatly, taking the documents and stepping outside. 

Sometimes, things needed to break for one to regain their senses. 

Cassion believed that this was the moment for Ruel. 

‘Since Hina is with him, it should be fine.’

***

“My Lord, are you going out?” One of the servants asked cautiously as he saw Ruel walking with a cane.

“Yes.”

“Are you going out alone, where is the butler?”

How many times had he heard that question already? It was because the lingering effects of his previous fall were still severe.

“I’m just going for a short walk nearby. Don’t worry about it.”

Ttak. Ttak.

The sound of Ruel’s cane echoed through the hallway, catching the attention of the servants, who turned to look at him in unison.

—Ruel, Ruel.

Ruel glanced at Leo, who matched his pace beside him.

—Everyone is looking at Ruel.

He knew that even without Leo saying it. 

At this point, it had become routine, and he had grown accustomed to it. 

Before opening the front gate, Ruel put on a hat and gloves, fully prepared for the outside.

“I’ll open it for you.”

Several servants who were cleaning near the front gate hurried over to open the door for him.

The snow swept in with the wind.

—Whoa! There’s a lot of snow piled up!

Leo, like a fish in water, scampered over and buried his head in the snowdrift.

Poof!

As Leo flailed his hind legs, Ruel approached and pulled him out.

—Hehehe! This body loves the snow!

Leo rolled in the snow and perked up his ears.

—Ah! It’s Aris!

“…Ruel-nim?”

Aris dismounted his horse and quickly ran towards Ruel as soon as he noticed Leo approaching him.

Other knights appeared behind Aris, as if they had just returned from training.

‘Oh my goodness…’

It was bad timing.

Ruel’s hand tightened on his cane.

“Where are you headed?”

He noticed Horen running up behind Aris.

“Ruel-nim! I don’t know where you’re going, but we’ll escort you,” Horen hurriedly saluted Ruel and spoke.

“It’s fine; you don’t have to follow me. Aris, you don’t need to come either. I’m just taking a quick stroll.”

“In this weather? It’s dangerous if you slip,” Aris pointed out the snow piled up everywhere, a look of concern on his face. Even Ruel found that argument rather unconvincing.

“Is Cassion going with you?”

At Aris’s question, Ruel shook his head.

“No.”

“I-I’ll go with you.”

Upon hearing that Cassion wouldn’t be joining, Aris panicked and raised his voice.

“It’s fine,” Ruel lightly declined and walked slowly.

Observing the knights approaching in a hurry, Ruel paused for a moment and glanced back.

“Don’t follow me. That’s an order,” Ruel commanded.

Horen and the knights hesitated, unsure whether to obey the order. However, Aris, undeterred, stepped forward to follow Ruel.

“I said not to follow me, Aris?”

“Have you forgotten my role?” 

Aris smiled innocently.

“The moment you step outside the mansion, my duty begins.”

“No matter what I do, you’re going to stop me.”

“Of course… isn’t that natural? I have the obligation to protect you, Ruel-nim.”

Ruel gestured toward the mountain behind the mansion.

“That land is mine too. So, this doesn’t count as outside the mansion.”

Aris looked at him, questioning the validity of such a flimsy argument. However, it wasn’t completely flimsy. After all, that land belonged to him.

“Let’s call it a day. Take a break.”

Ruel waved his hand dismissively.

“Ruel-nim,” Aris called out earnestly. Ruel furrowed his brow slightly and glanced at him. He couldn’t help but worry, remembering how Aris had cried for no apparent reason before.

“If you’re confident enough to quietly follow, then come along.”

“Yes, understood.” Finally, Aris relaxed his stern face.

Ruel felt a slight sense of unease, but he pretended not to notice and resumed walking.

Author's Thoughts

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