I Fell For My Nemesis

Chapter 112 - He Needed To Focus

Keith had never once thought of Frostine as a woman. She was far too intimidating for that. Plus she often treated him like he was an idiot, which was a major turn off. Who would be interested in someone like that?

She was capable (almost overly so), clever, and could hold her own in a fight. There were definitely less female heroes than male ones in New York City though he couldn't speak for elsewhere. Of all of them, she was definitely the least feminine. 

It had nothing to do with her looks. He couldn't see much of her face so he had no idea if she was a beauty or not but she had hair that went halfway down her back that was always tied in some sort of braid and had some curves despite being lean and toned like most heroes. She was about average height for a woman too. Maybe 5'6". Going off that alone she was plenty feminine. 

Her voice was somewhat monotone but it wasn't as if she sounded like a guy. It was more about the way she carried herself and commanded authority.

Frostine was not someone you wanted to mess with. She could freeze you solid with a glance and that was without using her powers. Which, Keith had to admit, were some of the strongest he had seen. They were versatile too. 

She was capable of using ice to propel herself in a way similar to how he did though it was much less messy. She could also create giant ice walls or towers, freeze people in their tracks, turn the ground to ice for an impressive distance, even freeze rivers or oceans. She couldn't melt things but she could make her own ice vanish when it was no longer needed. 

And that was only her powers. She was also frighteningly intelligent, efficient, and an expert fighter and acrobat. 

Keith couldn't help but wonder where Frostine had trained. Honestly, she was amazing. She used her powers to help her win most fights but he had seen her in hand-to-hand combat before as well with Inferno when he kept melting her ice. He would never admit it but he had admired her prowess since before he had even become a hero.

She had been at this much longer than he had. Nearly ten years according to the news. Was she thinking about retiring too? She never mentioned it but she had to be in her late twenties  by now.

"Have you ever considered retiring?" he asked suddenly. 

Frostine momentarily stopped eating her macaroni cone to eye him curiously. "No. Why do you ask?"

"I was just curious. I won't be doing this for much longer and in the meantime I'm going to have to cut back so I can do what I need to prepare for a real career. You've been at this longer than I have so…"

"Oh. I don't think so. I don't know what I'd do with myself if I wasn't a hero."

Keith hadn't expected that but he supposed he should have. She didn't seem to have time for a social life considering how often she was patrolling the streets. He had thought they were similar in that way before.

"What about working toward a career?"

Frostine swallowed another bite before answering. "I already have one and I'm perfectly satisfied with it." 

"For real? You have a career, not just a job? Is that even possible being a hero?" Keith asked incredulously. "I've never been able to hold a job for long managing this on the side."

"It's quite possible. I'm not the only one who has done it. It's all about time management and knowing your limits. I never jumped in when I knew I would be cutting it close to a commitment I had elsewhere." 

"…what if they really needed you?"

"Someone else always comes eventually. We're very replaceable, Delta," Frostine said matter-of-factly. 

She finished off her macaroni cone and he was left in a daze. She wasn't wrong…but did she have to phrase it like that? New heroes popped up all the time. There was always someone willing to jump into the fray when things went wrong. First responders too. 

The world didn't need Frostine specifically. It needed someone like her who was willing to get the job done. And she didn't seem bothered by it at all. 

It didn't need him either but that definitely bothered him. One of the main reasons he had become a hero in the first place was because he wanted to be seen. Liked. Appreciated. He wanted to help too but couldn't deny that the popularity factor was a big part of it. He craved validation from outside sources but it never seemed to be enough. 

"And that doesn't bother you?" Keith blurted. 

Frostine shook her head. "No. I know that any difference I make could be made by someone else. I just want to help when I can."

That was perhaps the most altruistic thing he had ever heard her say. Or anyone, really. She worked all day then spent all of her free time trying to help other people. She wasn't in it for the popularity at all. 

Keith had already suspected this to some extent because of how she didn't seem to care about having a positive public image. She was too brusque and cold. She seemed not to care because she DIDN'T care. No wonder they had always clashed. 

What mattered to him didn't matter to her at all. Of course she would come off as judgy and a know-it-all in that situation!

Suddenly, he felt ashamed of himself. He had not only misjudged her but gone about hero work the wrong way. Whatever his motives were, he was still helping people though! That had to count for something, right? 

"Do you think everyone is replaceable or just heroes?" Keith asked curiously. 

Frostine shrugged. "A person's value is their own to decide. Seeking it from external sources never ends well from what I've seen." 

She may as well have slapped him. This was exactly why she often rubbed him the wrong way. She managed to hit him right where it hurt without even realizing it. 

How could he possibly decide his own value when no one had ever truly wanted him? If he had to assign a value to himself, it would be worthless. Was that healthy? Probably not but it was all he had. 

It hit him in that moment what his problem with Frostine was. It seemed like she was always trying to pick him apart like his old therapist back when he was in foster care. Did she work in the mental health field? Because that would explain a lot. 

She wasn't trying to be a know-it-all. It might be what she was used to because of her work. 

But Joss was a therapist and she wasn't like that. At least as far as he had seen. They really hadn't talked all that much. 

Keith wasn't a huge fan of therapists but she didn't seem like she was psychoanalyzing him when they were together. Maybe it was because she was off the clock then and she knew how to separate her work from the rest of her life. 

He didn't know what he was supposed to think about any of this but didn't have time to respond because there were sirens in the distance and Frostine was already beckoning him to follow.

Right. He needed to focus. He was in hero mode right now; he couldn't let himself become distracted. 

At the end of the night when Keith returned to his apartment and got to work cleaning so his roommates would get off his back those thoughts crept back in. Frostine was different than he had thought she was all this time. 

Half the time she drove him crazy but she wasn't really all that bad, was she? She was a lot better a person than he was. His thinking she was a know-it-all was really him projecting because he didn't like feeling guilty about the things she said. 

She had a real knack for seeing through to the heart of the matter and saying uncomfortable truths. It had been easy to brush her off as being the problem all this time when really it was mostly him. 

He wasn't all that great. The one thing he was good at was being a hero and he did it mostly for external validation. 

Heck, he patterned his Delta persona after Mercury because of how popular he was! He didn't think anyone would be reassured by the natural silliness of Keith Savage. 

He was never enough for anyone. So how could he possibly be enough for himself? 

Unbidden, the memory of Joss's smile as she said it was nice to have a friend popped into his head. Maybe there was one person he was enough for without purposely twisting himself into a pretzel.. He could hardly wait until Tuesday to see her again for more than a few minutes at a time.