I Fell For My Nemesis

Chapter 74 - What Good Would That Do?

As expected, Avery didn't have any issues with excuses in February because she had taken time off the month before. The problem was March. The month of the anniversary of her dad's death. 

The high from the wonderful Valentine's Day she spent with her husband wasn't enough to keep her spirits up for long with that looming over her. Four years. How had it been four whole years without him? Four years since she had gotten a hug from him. Four years since she had seen him smile. Four years since she had become Nox to fulfil his last wish. 

Christian noticed there was something off about her. How could he not when they were living together? This was the fourth weekend in a row she had something going on and she had been tired and almost depressed about it all. 

"Avery…I really don't want to pry but something is off about you. Can you talk to me about it? I can't help if I don't know what's going on. You've been so busy I've hardly seen you and when I do you seem miserable," he said as she flopped down exhaustedly on her way in after yet another mission. 

Thankfully, she had an excuse ready. "I'm sorry I've been busy. I told you before we even moved in together that there were things I have to do. They've just…piled up lately. And I seem miserable because the anniversary of my dad's death is in three days."

Christian was horrified. "I'm so sorry; I completely forgot!" 

"I didn't expect you to remember something you only saw once months ago. Angelo and I usually go together and his family joins later. Then we all get together for dinner and share our memories." 

"I see. Why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"It slipped my mind. Sorry. Guess all the busyness is getting to me," Avery said sheepishly. 

She really should have told him about the anniversary sooner. She just didn't want to think about it more than necessary. It was already on her mind near-constantly as she ran around doing Nox stuff more than usual. 

Christian sighed and put an arm around her shoulders. "You really need to be better about telling me things, Avery." 

"…I know."

Avery truly did know that but she also knew there were things she could never tell them. The lies were only piling higher. She could only hope that the reason behind them would end soon before he either caught on or thought she was having an affair or something equally ridiculous. 

She knew communication was important in a relationship because of all of the advice out there but also couldn't do anything about it. She was stuck. 

At least Christian let things go for the time being after finding out about one of the reasons behind her behavior of late. He was very supportive in the days leading up to the anniversary and the day of. 

They went to the cemetery together and Avery crouched down in front of her dad's grave, reaching out to trace the letters of his name on the headstone. A lump formed in her throat. "Hi, Dad."

There was so much she wished she could tell him. Her conflicted feelings from the last time she came here with Christian had intensified. 

Her dad loved her more than anything. She knew that. So why was she angry at him for leaving this all to her? Why was she so confused about his motives? He had been a good person who wanted to make the world a better place and stop a horrible man. 

But he also put a lot of pressure on his daughter. Why had he done it? Because she happened to catch him coming through the window in the suit one time and he didn't want to bother bringing anyone else in on the secret? Or because he actually wanted her to finish what he started specifically? 

Avery didn't know which would be worse. All of this happening by chance or her dad wanting to get her involved from the beginning. 

She had been a normal girl then. One free to do whatever she wanted rather than being bogged down with the heavy responsibility of saving the country from someone no one else perceived as a threat. 

She was so angry! Angry that Hunsacher killed the only parent she had. Angry that her dad left all of this to her. Angry that she couldn't be honest with the man she loved. And her anger couldn't compare to Angelo's. Sometimes she wondered if her best friend would tear the corrupt world down with his bare hands given the chance. 

Speaking of Angelo…where was he? He was usually here by now. 

Avery glanced a few rows over to where the Cruz grave was and saw him kneeling in front of it and pounding the ground. Yep. Definitely angrier than she was. 

He didn't seem to resent the job his father left him as much as she did hers if he even did at all. He was too furious with Hunsacher for taking his dad after the universe had already taken his mom. 

Honestly, she was tempted to pound the ground too. To scream "why did you leave all of this to me?" as she let out all of her rage about the stress that had been plaguing her since Christian came into her life because of the job he left her in charge of. 

But Avery couldn't do that because her husband was here comfortingly hugging her from behind. He didn't know anything about her pain but he still wanted to help without knowing it was impossible. 

How could he help when the reminder of his love was part of the problem? And he would never know. 

She couldn't say anything. She could only stare at the headstone as she stewed in her tortured thoughts. She had to keep her true thoughts to herself because she had an audience. If she wanted to yell her frustrations at the headstone it would have to be when she came alone. 

"I want to go talk to Angelo," Avery said after sitting there for an indeterminate amount of time. "Before the rest of the family gets here."

Christian nodded. "Alright. Do you want me to come with you?"

"He seems upset and I don't think he'd appreciate having someone he doesn't know that well see him break down. I should do this one on my own. I shouldn't be gone too long." 

She squeezed his hands and gave him her best attempt at a reassuring smile before heading over to where Angelo was still hunched over on the ground. She set down the flowers she had brought for Horatio before laying a comforting hand on Angelo's shoulder and speaking to him in Spanish. 

"I'm angry too. Go on and let out all of your frustration before everyone else gets here. They wouldn't understand."

Well, Jorge might. He knew what they were up to and why. But the rest of his aunts, uncles, and cousins weren't aware of the things they got up to in the name of revenge and helping others. 

"No one understands," Angelo spat. "My family is sad but they think it was a normal car accident. That it couldn't have been prevented. They don't understand that Papi and Tío Levi were STOLEN from us. And for what? The sake of keeping dirt they had on Nolan Hunsacher secret? They had to die for such an insignificant reason!" 

"I know," Avery said quietly. 

She had thought all of these things herself many times. She knew exactly how he was feeling right now. 

Cheated. They had both been cheated of having their fathers with them longer when they had already lost their mothers. They had both been thrust into roles they had never signed up for because they felt like they had to. They had both sworn not to let Nolan Hunsacher do the same thing to anybody else. 

Avery hugged him tightly as she sat down next to him. "I know, Angelo. Let it all out. I've got you."

"I can't! If I do that there's no coming back."

"So what? No one will blame you for that today. You don't have to be strong all the time. How about this? We both scream at the same time." 

Angelo looked at her blankly. "What good would that do?"

"I've heard it's cathartic. I could use a good scream right now too so let's go for it." 

"…won't your husband hear?"

"If he asks me about it I'll say it was your idea," Avery deadpanned. 

He glared at her but acquiesced. "Fine. Let's scream then. I don't think it will do anything but since you insist…"

Avery let go of him and counted down from three on her fingers before they both let out their most frustrated screams, startling some nearby pigeons. She didn't know about him but she felt a bit better after doing that even though her throat hurt now. In fact, she was tempted to do that again. 

"That actually helped.. I'm going to keep going," she said before going off on a long rant in Spanish, yelling and shaking her fist at the sky.