I Fell For My Nemesis

Chapter 82 - A Strange Sense Of Irony

Nox seemed reluctant to answer. She ended up doing a pose that reminded him a lot of Avery when she was upset and didn't want to talk. Though she normally did it against the couch instead of the edge of a roof.

  "I didn't when I started this. I thought I would be safe because I had already lost everything. I didn't expect to find anyone else I was afraid of losing but here I am." 

"Then why not stop and leave it to someone else? You were really keen on my retirement after I got hurt. Why not retire yourself?"

"There are always new heroes to replace people like you. No one else CAN replace me. This suit is one of a kind and it won't respond to anyone else. It has to be me. I have to see this through to the end even though I've wanted to quit more times than I can count after meeting him." 

"Who is he? Your boyfriend?" Christian pressed. 

If this baby wasn't the result of some one-night stand she had to be in some sort of relationship. When had she switched the target of her affection? Why had she left him alone after he retired if she liked him? Was he really going to be safe if she was involved with someone else or would she come after Avery eventually because she was possessive? He needed to know.

"Someone I thought I could get away with having something casual with before getting greedy. I thought any time with him was better than no time at all despite my situation being less than ideal. Before I knew it I was in too deep to get out," Nox said with a wry laugh. 

That sounded eerily familiar. Hadn't he been in the same situation back when he was a hero and thought he couldn't have Avery because of his side job? 

He had retired though. Nox hadn't. She was still deeply involved in trying to take down Nolan Hunsacher, who Christian was beginning to believe was serious bad news. Getting information from people who worked from him made her seem like much less of a conspiracy theorist. 

Christian frowned as a thought hit him. She hadn't answered his earlier question about whether or not the father of the baby knew she was out doing villain work tonight.

  "Nox…does he know?"

"Of course not. He would never accept me for who I am," Nox said with certainty. 

"And who are you?"

"An excellent question. Sometimes I wonder that myself. Am I who I was before Nolan Hunsacher took everything from me? Am I who I want to be when it's all over? Or am I nothing but a villain to be scorned for daring to ignore laws that allow people to get hurt?

"You were a hero; you would never understand. I have to help people too but I can't do it in the light like you did. All I want is to prevent anyone from suffering the way I've suffered. If I have to be a villain to stop a worse villain so be it.

"I don't know what I am aside from an idiot for letting myself believe I could be normal. I'm not normal. I haven't been normal since before all of this happened but I was so convinced everything would be okay if I kept at it. 

"It's not okay at all. The man I love would judge me the same way you do if he knew about me. Isn't that sad? He thinks I'm a lot better than I am. Someone as good as him could never accept someone like me and I knew it from the start but I didn't want to let him go. Maybe that's what makes me a villain more than anything."

Nox LOVED the father of her child? She had moved on so quickly? He didn't understand but was afraid to ask what was on his mind while they were on such a serious subject. 

Christian also felt guilty. He had judged her and they both knew it. Things were different than he had thought. If not for her methods she would be considered a hero. She was more antihero than villain, as Frostine had speculated. 

  "I'm not judging you. I didn't realize the depth of the situation before and I'm sorry about that," he said humbly. "Can you tell me what Hunsacher is doing exactly that you're trying to stop? It has something to do with that room in Hunsacher Inc. headquarters that you destroyed, doesn't it? All of the destruction you cause has to have a reason since you don't want anyone to get hurt."

Nox was skeptical but ended up telling him. In far greater detail than anything she had before. Hunsacher WAS evil!

She seemed somehow desperate to get that point across to him. That they weren't the bad guys. Why did she care so much about his opinion? Why would it matter if he thought badly of her?

He felt like he was missing something here. Something big. 

An insane thought came to him. One so insane he shouldn't even be entertaining it. If she cared about his opinion now…and she had cared about his opinion back then too…was it because she still had feelings for him? 

Nox said the father of her child was someone she thought she could have something casual with before she got greedy. Avery had told him she wasn't good girlfriend material and that since he wasn't good boyfriend material that they were a perfect match. 

She also had a crush on him-as-Mercury before she had one on him-as-Christian according to Angelo despite the fact that they had only interacted once. That hadn't made sense to him. 

But if she knew him better than that…if she interacted with him regularly… Hadn't Nox said she saved him because she thought he was funny? Vanessa said something about Avery finding someone she could have witty banter with in her maid of honor speech. And Nox had described their back-and-forth as flirting. 

No. It couldn't be!

Avery couldn't possibly be Nox. Though they did both speak Spanish. Speaking of Spanish…Angelo had been certain Christian would drop her like a hot potato because of differing political views. Being a hero versus being a villain was very different than politics but wasn't the basic premise similar? 

Nox seemed absolutely positive that the father of her child would reject her if he knew the truth. Why such certainty? If he loved her he should be able to accept her. Unless she thought he wouldn't because he already hadn't accepted her under other circumstances.

"If you aren't the bad guys why are you so convinced that the father of your child will reject you?" Christian asked, trying to probe further and see if his wild theory was correct.

"Because he thinks like you. He would never tolerate anything illegal no matter how well-intentioned. And I've lied to him a lot to keep my secret. He would never forgive me," Nox said sadly.

"You seem awfully positive about that."

"I can take anything but him leaving me. I can't risk it. He's the only thing that has made me truly happy since my world fell apart and if I lose him I'll fall apart all over again. What good will I be able to do for anyone then?"

Nox looked very vulnerable just then. She had pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. 

She had been giving off a strange sense of irony for most of this conversation. There were other times he had talked to either Nox or Avery where he had gotten that sense too. Always when certain topics came up. Like her dad. Or what she felt obligated to see through to the end. 

Hadn't some of those Nox break-ins coincided with times she was supposedly out of town? Why had he never put the pieces together before? 

And there was the fact that she had saved his life and found Liam to give him a blood transfusion. He had thought it was because of hacking but what if it was because she actually knew him? 

Avery had a strange reaction when she visited him in the hospital too. She had been crying her eyes out when she arrived and said she was so scared. He thought Liam must have phrased things badly but what if it was because she had seen him fall out of the sky? And because she was afraid her secret would get out due to her saving him? 

Nox said she couldn't afford to lose the man she loved. If that was why she had saved him it made a lot more sense than his previous theory. 

Avery being Nox made so much sense if he really thought about it. There was a lot he didn't understand but he wouldn't be able to find out if he didn't broach the subject.. He didn't want her to keep avoiding him because she was afraid.