I Want to Slack Off at the Demon Bureau

Chapter 36: 036

Chapter 36

A moment later, Chu Zhishui came out of the restaurant. Her face was still flushed, and when she got in the car and saw Xin Yunmao's innocent expression, she had so many complaints but couldn't voice them.

If he were an ordinary person, she would have questioned his motives. Saying he couldn't respond to human emotions while constantly pulling these little moves - if that wasn't being a male flirt, what was it?

But he was just an empty-headed bamboo spirit - human logic couldn't be applied to him.

No, even for a supernatural being, he still seemed like a flirt.

Chu Zhishui quietly observed him, thinking his behavior was truly bizarre, almost as if he was deliberately playing hot and cold. Yet she also felt he might not be that calculating - perhaps it was just pure, innocent friendship, and she was the dark-minded human projecting ulterior motives onto his actions.

In the car, Xin Yunmao sat in the passenger seat but noticed the car hadn't started. He turned his head to find her staring intently at him, and asked puzzled: "What is it? What are you looking at?"

Chu Zhishui gave a light laugh: "Heh, nothing, just looking at you."

Just trying to figure out what's going on in that empty head of yours.

"..."

Xin Yunmao's eyebrows trembled slightly, his Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed, giving her a deep look before saying nothing. He controlled himself and turned away, seemingly gazing out the window, showing her his jade-like neck profile while inadvertently exposing his pink earlobe, which was especially noticeable against his pale skin.

Why are you blushing like a teapot!

You really look more and more like a spirit pretending to be pure and innocent!

Chu Zhishui felt even more annoyed and forced herself to say: "Let me clarify that I'm not particularly curious, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but why did you keep insisting you couldn't respond to human emotions back then?"

Although he no longer frequently had episodes now, when she first met him, he often put on an act of being pure as ice and jade, preferring death to submission.

Hearing the question, Xin Yunmao turned back to look at her, appearing to be in thought.

Chu Zhishui suddenly remembered something and quickly added: "If you're going to give some irritating narcissistic answer, you can keep your mouth shut now. Just pretend I never asked."

She had just eaten and didn't feel like getting physical.

"It's not just human emotions," Xin Yunmao pondered for a moment, giving a rare serious answer. "It applies to both humans and spirits."

Chu Zhishui was stunned: "Why?"

He confessed frankly: "Responding to such emotions would lead to troublesome things."

The car fell silent, neither of them speaking.

After thinking for a long while, Chu Zhishui took a deep breath and started the car, sighing: "Alright, let's head back."

Xin Yunmao: "Why did you suddenly ask about this?"

"Just felt there was a certain fragrance about you," Chu Zhishui said. "So I wanted to confirm something."

"What fragrance?"

"Tea fragrance."

"?"

Xin Yunmao turned away from her and secretly sniffed himself but didn't detect any unusual scent. Of course, he never thought he had any particular smell to begin with. Looking confused, he kept checking himself over and over, his cleanliness obsession acting up again.

Chu Zhishui was now too tired to analyze his behavior. She suspected he was trying to drag her down to his intelligence level and then defeat her with his rich experience. It was better not to overthink this, just let it be and go with the flow, rather than getting caught up in all these messy interactions.

As long as nothing was explicitly stated, it didn't exist.

There was no ambiguity or heart flutter - it was all pure revolutionary friendship. Thinking otherwise would seem vulgar and would taint the dustless, pure-as-ice divine lord.

After this mental adjustment, Chu Zhishui resumed her straightforward demeanor, even considering converting her friendship into maternal love instead.

At the Observation Bureau, Miao Li had been reporting regularly to the Economic Development Department lately, forced to accept the proposal of livestreaming to pay off his debt.

In reality, the black cat chief had repeatedly tried to refuse using official duties as an excuse, but after receiving several rounds of "smile education," he had no choice but to lower his cat head dejectedly. After all, while Xin Yunmao would only verbally mock him for being useless, Chu Zhishui might actually arrange for the cafeteria to serve plain rice (cat food).

The livestreaming schedule wasn't heavy, just twice a week, one hour each time. Now that the Bureau's official online store was open, customers could watch livestream replays and easily purchase various products.

Of course, the official store had very few items, currently only selling flavored ginger candy and scalp nourishing cream.

Miao Li had done several livestreams, usually with him wagging his tail in front while Chen Zhuhui explained off-camera, introducing the store's two products.

Chen Zhuhui's most frequent phrases were "The ginger candy is for human consumption, the nourishing cream is for human use, cats don't do well with ginger" and "Director Miao, please look at the camera," which kept the livestream running smoothly.

When the livestreams first started, there weren't many viewers, mostly just customers repurchasing ginger candy and some of Fu Chengzhuo's fans.

[To be honest, I clicked in thinking this was selling pet supplies.]

[Only after buying did I realize the nourishing cream was for humans! Not for cats!]

[With fur everywhere at home, giving cats nourishment doesn't seem right, does it?]

There were few comments in the livestream, which greatly troubled Chen Zhuhui who was in charge of this work. She sighed softly and said helplessly: "The livestream data isn't doing well, it's still just the same people as before."

"That's normal, we don't have many products, the streaming time is short, and there's no promotion - these numbers are fine," Chu Zhishui consoled her.

Chen Zhuhui watched other livestreams and said dejectedly: "But those livestreams have so many people, and they're not even selling anything related to cats or dogs. As long as there's a small animal, the comments section becomes super active."

Chen Zhuhui hadn't graduated and entered society yet - this position at the Observation Bureau was her first internship. Given her good grades and diligence in school, she naturally harbored ambitious aspirations to make something of herself. The young girl hadn't yet developed the mindset of slacking off, and seriously studied web layout online, striving to make the pages perfect.

But life is just that unfair - while studying guarantees returns proportional to effort, work is full of variables, and effort and reward aren't necessarily equal.

Chu Zhishui had advised her twice, but Chen Zhuhui took her work seriously and always wanted to improve the situation.

In contrast, Director Miao was truly a seasoned office worker, coming and going on schedule, caring nothing about data metrics. Cats naturally have no heart, so he never worried about such things.

Every time the black cat came to the office to livestream, Jin Yu would find an excuse to slip away, leaving only two humans and two spirits in the room.

After watching the livestreams multiple times and learning about the mediocre results, Xin Yunmao showed an expression of having expected this all along. He moved closer to Chu Zhishui, watching other livestreams on her phone screen where puppies were enthusiastically bowing and kittens were chasing their own tails - all adorably silly performances.

These livestreams were filled with complimentary comments, with many praising how cute the cats and dogs were.

But the black cat was already grown, and he disliked acting silly or being clingy, so the effect wasn't as good.

"You've been in human form for so many years, yet you're less popular than an unenlightened cat." Xin Yunmao glanced at Miao Li with a meaningful expression and decisively said, "You're inadequate."

He had long seen through this cat's incompetence at everything. Occasionally he would affectedly act clingy, but compared to his fellow cats, he fell far short - it's just that the bureau had no other cats.

"What does this have to do with taking human form?" Miao Li had just finished livestreaming and changed back from his cat form to human form, hissing displeasedly, "Do you think bamboo tube rice made by you would smell better?"

The black cat chief wouldn't accept criticism about his work performance, feeling that fooling humans for an hour was already at the limit of his patience.

Xin Yunmao pointed at Chu Zhishui and said expressionlessly: "It would definitely smell better, ask her if you don't believe me."

Miao Li: "???"

Faced with Director Miao's shocked expression, Chu Zhishui immediately distanced herself from the situation, protesting: "Don't ask me, I've never used you to cook rice!"

Xin Yunmao hesitated: "But didn't you eat..."

Chu Zhishui stuffed a piece of ginger candy into his mouth, cutting off his nonsense, and warned him with a serious face: "Shut up."

Xin Yunmao looked quite unwilling, but after being fed a candy and sneaking a glance at her expression, he obediently fell silent and quietly ate the candy.

Miao Li said lazily: "I just can't be bothered to hook these people."

"You can just admit you lack ability, don't use laziness as an excuse," Xin Yunmao finished the candy and started confronting the black cat again, saying sharp, sarcastic words to provoke him.

"You don't understand. It's fun to tease people occasionally, but it gets annoying if you do it every day," Miao Li complained. "I don't want to act stupid to please them. They should be the ones pursuing me, following my moods - that's the true nature of felines."

Chen Zhuhui showed a complex expression, feeling something wasn't quite right.

Chu Zhishui covered her ears and said softly, "That's player cat talk. Children shouldn't listen to this."

Miao Li's eyes gleamed with sudden craftiness as he suggested, "How about this - let's do another livestream in a couple of days. I'll try to improve the results, but I have one condition."

Chu Zhishui asked, "What condition?"

"If things go well, I want to reduce the livestream frequency to once a week, one hour each time," Miao Li bargained.

"Deal," Chu Zhishui nodded readily. "As long as we get results, once or twice doesn't matter."

"It's a promise, meow."

A few days later, Miao Li arrived at the Economic Development Department on time for the livestream sale.

"This time it'll work for sure," Miao Li said cheerfully before finding a corner to transform into his original form - a soft black cat with white paws and gleaming golden eyes.

Chen Zhuhui set up the equipment and carefully observed the black cat. Something felt different, and she couldn't help but look again and again, hesitantly saying, "Mr. Miao seems to be in great form today."

Chu Zhishui, who hadn't been paying attention, looked over upon hearing this and indeed saw the black cat's sleek, glossy fur in the sunlight.

The black cat had snow-white paws but ink-black fur everywhere else. When it stood up, its figure was graceful and majestic. It lounged lazily on the desk, casually licking its paws, its fluffy tail swaying in the air, occasionally curling around the desk corner with natural flexibility.

Its ears would twitch occasionally, golden eyes sparkling.

It really looked like a beautiful large cat today.

Chu Zhishui kept staring at the black cat, feeling a sense of déjà vu but unable to recall when she had felt this way before.

"So cunning," Xin Yunmao noticed Miao Li's little trick. He crossed his arms and clicked his tongue, "You're being lazy again."

"Meow—" The black cat seemed to utterly disdain his words.

Xin Yunmao glanced aside and noticed Chu Zhishui staring intently at the black cat. He immediately frowned and poked her forehead, saying sourly, "Is it that fascinating?"

Her mind suddenly cleared.

The strange attraction dissipated like smoke.

Chu Zhishui came to her senses. Looking at the black cat sheriff again without the beauty filter, she explained, "No, it just feels familiar."

She felt she had experienced a similar atmosphere before, but not from Mr. Miao, though she couldn't quite remember when.

But Xin Yunmao wouldn't listen and instead grew sullen, blaming Miao Li: "You flirtatious cat."

Today's livestream showed improvement, with the black cat reaching new sales figures, though the overall data still wasn't particularly high.

Before Miao Li left, Chu Zhishui said regretfully, "Looks like Mr. Miao still needs to stream twice a week."

"Don't rush," Miao Li said leisurely. "If it doesn't work this time, it's not because I lack ability, but because Director Hu lacks ability. The responsibility should fall on the director."

Chu Zhishui: "?"

Chen Zhuhui would edit video clips after each livestream to post on their official blog and public account.

Chu Zhishui was in charge of overall business operations, Jin Yu handled paperwork, and Chen Zhuhui specifically managed publicity. Although these new platforms were largely barren, Chen Zhuhui still made time to maintain them.

The rise of the internet age made information extraordinarily abundant - no one ever knows which video will go viral next.

On a short video app, an edited compilation of cat videos went viral, with one beautiful black cat particularly catching attention.

In the video, countless adorable cat moments were edited together, but the casual and relaxed black cat was undoubtedly the most stunning, impossible for anyone to ignore.

It lay languidly on the desk, basking in soft sunlight, its fur distinct down to each strand, expressing an indescribable nobility. Even without deliberately trying to charm, when it raised its bright golden eyes, it still displayed endless allure.

[Being single for too long makes even a cat look handsome.]

[Kitty, hehe, let auntie give you a kiss.]

[Damn, why does it look so handsome!]

[Wuwuwu it's so cool, I can't believe I'm swooning over a cat, it's got that carefree young master vibe.]

[Has my disappointment in men really driven me to have improper thoughts about a male cat? No way.]

[It has white gloves! It's the Black Cat Sheriff!]

[So it's the sheriff, then there must be handcuffs and guns, forced restraint and bondage, *heavy breathing* I can't take it.]

[Thanks for helping with my period, kitty.]

[Which pet blogger owns this? I need to go virtually cuddle this handsome cat!]

[Couldn't find it.]

[I think I've seen it before, it's not from a pet blogger, it's from an online candy store.]

[Fu Chengzhuo, I'm sorry, I didn't cheat with another male celebrity, I cheated with a cat.]

[Don't worry Zhuo-zhuo! I'm just going to get my hair done at the cat's place tonight!]

The video's comment section was filled with swooning hearts, with countless people posting notices trying to find the original video of the black cat.

However, the Observation Bureau didn't have an account on the short video app. It took enthusiastic netizens following various leads to finally discover the modest shop with only two products. The inventory was small with decent sales, exuding an unpretentious simplicity that suggested no marketing budget.

The black cat only livestreamed twice a week, just one hour each time, unlike professional streamers.

Fortunately, Chen Zhuhui had been diligently recording the livestreams and compiling past videos on their official blog and public account, allowing the influx of netizens to catch up.

[So it's an impoverished cat young master, fallen on hard times, forced to livestream to make money.]

[I'll buy candy! Buy cat treats for it!]

[Why did it change to streaming once a week? Let us see more of it!]

[Such a good and sensible kitty helping the family sell things, mwah mwah.]

"Oh my god, oh my god, there are so many new comments," Chen Zhuhui couldn't stop scrolling through her phone, exclaiming happily, "Even the store's nourishing cream sales have increased, now it's up to four or five thousand."

The ginger candy initially went viral as "Fu Chengzhuo's choice," but the scalp nourishing cream from the same store had always had mediocre sales, with peak livestream data of just 847. This was unavoidable - a cat's popularity couldn't compare to a male celebrity's.

However, since Miao Li was permanently stationed at the bureau, using him for promotion was convenient, and operations gradually became more stable. Fu Chengzhuo's first week of sales might have exploded, but subsequent data would gradually weaken. Now using the black cat to stabilize the customer base was a way to slow the decline in traffic.

Miao Li hadn't reached male celebrity status but quickly developed a celebrity attitude, decisively demanding to reduce livestreams to once a week.

Chu Zhishui looked at the netizens' praise for the black cat and couldn't help but sigh inwardly - humans were still naive and easily fooled.

Netizens thought the black cat was handsome and sophisticated, well-behaved and sensible, not knowing it was actually a greedy destructive cat who spent every day thinking about how to perfunctorily deal with humans.

Don't chase after cats, it will lead to misfortune.

Chu Zhishui kept watching the video over and over. After being poked on the forehead by Xin Yunmao, she couldn't figure it out anymore and asked, "Why did this video's data suddenly surge?"

Although netizens had occasionally praised the black cat before, they had never swarmed to watch like this.

"That thieving cat used one of Hu Chenrui's hairs," Xin Yunmao sneered. "His racial talent is attracting humans - he can amplify his own charm points."

Hu Chenrui was a fox spirit with inherent charm enhancement. It wasn't simple bewitchment but rather amplification of one's own merits and strengths, making it easier for others to notice their shining points. Sometimes, people can't explain why they're attracted - it's precisely that fleeting glimpse that makes them fall head over heels.

Jin Yu's expression became subtle: "Ah, did Mr. Miao go pick up Director Hu's hair? That does sound like something he would do."

Though it's unknown if Director Hu noticed losing a hair for no apparent reason.

"Then why don't we just invite Director Hu to livestream?" Chen Zhuhui wondered. "Is it because he's the director, so it's not appropriate?"

Chu Zhishui calmly replied, "Because if Director Hu reveals his true form, he might get taken away by the Forestry Bureau."

Having a black cat at the bureau could be explained, but having a fox would be harder to explain.

Chen Zhuhui: "?"

The scalp nourishing cream's sales were steadily improving, and the livestream sales work had gotten on track.

As summer vacation flew by, Chen Zhuhui's internship at the Bureau came to an end, and she needed to prepare for university enrollment. She had barely made it into Yinhai City University, entering a general studies program, but fortunately the university offered many scholarships and subsidies, which suited her situation well.

Due to the success of the livestream sales work, Chu Zhishui applied for an internship salary from the Bureau as compensation for Chen Zhuhui's summer work.

When Chen Zhuhui heard the news, she immediately waved her hands in refusal, saying, "No, no, no, I can't accept it. We agreed I was just repaying Sister Zhishui's red envelope."

"It's fine, let's keep things separate. This is an internship salary from the Bureau, it has nothing to do with me," Chu Zhishui said calmly. "Your major might make it difficult to find perfectly matching jobs in the future, so you'll need to build up your resume during school. You should get paid for future internships too, regardless of the amount. If they don't pay, it's probably not a legitimate company."

Unable to refuse further, Chen Zhuhui felt touched and said softly, "But everyone has been so kind to me. I've really enjoyed my summer here and wish I could keep working here."

She had spent the entire holiday at the Bureau, working in the Economic Development Department and occasionally visiting Grandpa Su at the tea garden. She was completely removed from worldly troubles and wouldn't be bothered by difficult relatives - it had been an absolutely wonderful time.

Chu Zhishui: "Oh no, worshipping your superiors and company is the beginning of tragedy. You're even thinking about living at work - you'd better not have such thoughts in the future."

Chen Zhuhui: "?"

Though not fully understanding, Chen Zhuhui smiled and said, "I'll keep managing the account after school starts. I'll send the content to Sister Zhishui after classes!"

As the Bureau's online store operated normally, the company account gradually filled up, though Chu Zhishui hadn't added performance bonuses yet, planning to save them for year-end and cultural achievement awards. If any major situations arose, at least they would have some working capital, plus Old Bai's newly developed ginseng foot soak powder needed startup funds.

Jin Yu, whose income had increased, became more enthusiastic about work and exclaimed excitedly, "If we keep developing like this, will our salaries keep going up? Could we reach 50,000, 100,000, or even a million?"

"You're quite the dreamer! We can't pay that much, there will always be a limit," Chu Zhishui laughed. "But we can save the extra money to give out other things, like holiday gifts or work benefits, maybe even birthday cake vouchers."

This was why many people valued stable work units - they gave out many items during holidays, had minimal impact during illness or pregnancy, and in case of serious illness or disaster, there was major medical coverage, with the work unit providing a safety net. However, supernatural beings rarely got sick, so the Observation Bureau had low expenses in this area.

The Yinhai Bureau spent their extra money on building new buildings and cafeterias. Having seen their prosperity and luxury, Chu Zhishui had a small dream of her own - could they possibly replace their office building in her lifetime? At least install proper elevators?

Reminded by Jin Yu, Chu Zhishui suddenly thought of something and suggested, "Right, there aren't any holidays coming up, but we could discuss with Director Hong about giving small gifts for staff birthdays. When are your birthdays?"

Building new offices for the Observation Bureau was too distant a goal, but giving birthday gifts was easy and could show the unit's care for its employees.

Hong Ximing was the head of the Personnel and Administration Department and should be in charge of such matters.

Jin Yu asked curiously, "How should we calculate birthdays?"

"The day you were born?"

"If we count from before I took human form, I can't remember clearly. I was in a hazy state then, without full consciousness, just a little fish," Jin Yu said innocently. "It was the day I took human form when I heard the name given to me by heaven and earth, and became Jin Yu. Does that count as a birthday?"

Chu Zhishui nodded: "I think it does."

Jin Yu answered, "Then it's the fifth day after the Mid-Autumn Festival."

"That's nice," Chu Zhishui turned to ask Xin Yunmao, "When's your birthday?"

Xin Yunmao's eyelashes trembled as he asked, puzzled, "Birthday?"

"Yes, which day did you take human form? We could celebrate it."

Hearing this, Xin Yunmao suddenly fell silent. His eyes were like a deep pond on an overcast day, without a ripple, as he said softly, "The day I took human form isn't worth celebrating."

When he transformed from a spirit bamboo into a human, it was the moment he became deified. Soon after, war came, and the once peaceful land was drenched in blood, even polluting the name given to him by heaven and earth.

He burned black in the raging dragon flames, and after the Dragon God's defeat, there was only endless emptiness.

He didn't feel that becoming human was a happy event; life after deification seemed worse than before. Other supernatural beings probably also felt that day shouldn't be celebrated.

Chu Zhishui paused: "Who says so?"

Xin Yunmao: "I say so."

She replied irritably, "Oh, so it's just you saying it. I thought it was Lu Xun's profound insight, or some court's golden rule."

"??"

Xin Yunmao was stumped. He glared at her, seemingly indignant and somewhat resentful.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Just tell me the date," Chu Zhishui deliberately put on a stern face, rarely pulling rank, "When a leader asks something, just answer it, don't freestyle. Have you no common sense?"

After thinking for a moment, as if recalling the date, Xin Yunmao answered honestly, "The day after the Awakening of Insects."

When spring thunder sounds, all things grow. The Awakening of Insects is a beautiful time for all things to grow.

Chu Zhishui pondered: "Oh, that's already passed this year, so your gift will have to wait until next year."

Unfortunately, Xin Yunmao had missed the Bureau's wealthy days, as this year's Awakening of Insects was long gone.

Xin Yunmao: "When's your birthday?"

"November 7th," Chu Zhishui said, "It's different from how you all express dates."

Supernatural beings seemed to prefer using the lunar calendar, and generally didn't include years.

"That's the Beginning of Winter," Xin Yunmao calculated based on her age, adding, "The first solar term of winter."

"Oh, is it?"

The Awakening of Insects was when all things awakened, while the Beginning of Winter was when all things went into hibernation.

Their birthdays corresponded to solar terms.

Xin Yunmao automatically ignored that his was the day after the Awakening of Insects, nodding with increasing satisfaction, marveling at his good eye for choosing a believer, as even their birth dates were so coincidentally matched - it was truly remarkable.

Thinking about it this way, both days were indeed worth celebrating, and should be celebrated by all under heaven.