I’ll Quit as The Empress

Chapter 5: Vivid Dream

Evelyn had a heavenly day for a couple of days.

Since childhood, for the first time, Miriam had taken care of Evelyn herself, and since she was hungry for love, every moment of this life was precious to her.

“Mother, I’m sorry.”

“Yes. Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Miriam looked sweetly at her daughter, but soon she placed a warm water bag in Evelyn ‘s bed.

“Well the child would be surprised to hear the King’s nagging. Your father is really worried, and that’s his nature.”

“But he’s kind.”

Evelyn was smiling. When she was young, it was hard for her father to say hateful things every time. But after living in a completely desolate place, she knew that the temperature of the human body was warm.

Evelyn was a loved one here, even though her father had a different way of expressing his love.

“Do you understand your parents’ heart now ?”

Miriam said deliberately, teasing Evelyn.

“I’ll be good for now on.”

The fine lines around Miriam’s eyes were bent finely.

“We didn’t know that you were living so miserable. If you didn’t come back here, I would have lost you forever. It’s a sorrow that no parent wants to experience. So, I ‘m glad you’ve come back well.”

Evelyn was unable to smile.

“His Majesty will somehow find a way. He’s a man of great consideration and thorough enough to deal with it. And our family can live happily in this little kingdom. It’s a gift from him and a way for this child.”

“I’m a mother, but I’m still spoiled by my parents.”

“It’s rewarding to have such a child. You’ll find out someday.”

Miriam held Evelyn ‘s hand affectionately.

“We would never have sent you to the Imperial Family if we knew that you would be so unhappy.”

“I know, …. You’re not like that.”

If her parents had sent Evelyn out of greed, they would not have quickly agreed to her decision to divorce and come back. In fact, Evelyn was able to divorce because King Arthur himself had negotiated directly with the Vatican.

After receiving Evelyn’s request, The King just grumbled without asking any further and headed straight to meet the Pope. He was such a father.

“His Majesty will find a way, so now, just think about having a healthy baby.”

“Yes.”

Evelyn began to doze, feeling the warmth of her loving mother. Her belly was quite big. The lawmaker who was secretly summoned said there wasn’t much time left for the childbirth. She might have met her child soon, and Evelyn was thrilled by the facts alone.

****

That day, Evelyn dreamed of going back to the garden.

The way of finding her husband, Fabian, under the white moonlight, was so vivid, even in her dreams. From the sweet fragrance of the Golden Wood tree in the Imperial Secret Garden to the side of the picturesque Fabian shining in the moonlight.

‘Do you think that’s a place for such a people?’

Evelyn, who said she would quit the Empress, had a hard time with her only husband. And Fabian, who was a perfect man in every way, wouldn’t have been able to understand Evelyn’s pain.

Even if he knew what was bothering Evelyn, it would just have been a pathetic grunt to him.

‘You’re my Empress.’

When they first met, Fabian only said that word and said nothing for a long time.

Evelyn’s heart throbbed at his magnificent dark eyes, but she could not speak to him easily. Because before her husband, he was an emperor. It was the courtesy of the imperial family.

‘I hope the Empress will fulfill her duty to honor Imperial rights’

Fabian’s low – pitched voice sounded cold. Evelyn then vaguely felt that she couldn’t get any closer to this man.

Fabian always had an invisible line. At the age of 16, he ascended to the throne, which threatened anyone and possessed an inviolable dignity.

‘Ha..Ha..’

Even when Evelyn lost her baby for the first time, he just let it go.

‘I’m sorry.’

When Evelyn had shed tears, Fabian said nothing but words that would go against the royal etiquette.

‘It can’t be helped. I won’t burden the Empress any more.’

The second time she lost her child, Fabian didn’t come to Evelyn’s bed. There was no disappointment because there was no expectation. Nonetheless, the Empress, whose hope for her husband had disappeared, soon became an abandoned empress.

If she failed to fulfill her duties as an empress, she would lose her rights as an imperial member. Only then did Evelyn know what “marriage” meant and fully understood what Fabian had said.

‘Your Majesty, it hurts so much. I can’t fill the place where I lost my child. It hurts so much that I want to die.’

Evelyn begged Fabian in her nightmares every night. He was the Supreme Emperor. He said that no one on this continent was greater than him. And he reigned only as an emperor, even to his only wife.

So, Evelyn hoped, her wish would be granted. What she wished for was just a little happiness as a woman. But, it was a wish that only he could give.

‘I don’t want to be sick anymore. I’m so scared. I don’t want to live like this.’

The most frightening thing was a reality that was more horrific than a nightmare.

After she had lost her child twice in vain. Evelyn, who never hated anyone, began to hate the world. Then all her lingering feelings about Fabian disappeared.

It was rather easy if she could regard him as just an emperor. The couple, who had no links, cooled down quickly.

‘Empress’

Fabian always called Evelyn that way. It was a call to the *’coffin’ that Evelyn was wearing. Evelyn gradually forgot her name.

‘I will quit the Empress.’

Evelyn’s life, which had withered shortly after the age of thirty, returned back to her twenty for some reason. The decision made by her regret was very simple.

She realized that she had to quit the Empress to live as Evelyn because she saw there was no future with Fabian.

‘If you really want it.’

Fabian didn’t refuse. The parting was too easy. It was stupidly simple when she recalled the pain she had been through. It was such a sad night.

‘But, why?’

But unlike in her past memory, Fabian, in her dream, asked Evelyn a question. He turned to Evelyn. His black eyes were fixed at her. The scent of the Golden Wood tree spread sweetly whenever the wind blew.

‘Why are you trying to leave me?’

She knew that it was a dream. But Fabian’s appearance was so vivid. Evelyn took a step forward. Fabian’s moonlit face was as beautiful as she remembered it.

‘Am I a man who can only give you a pain?’

Fabian’s low-pitched voice sounded indifferent.

‘Is it a horrible fate to marry me?’

His black eyes were filled with grief. It was a strange figure of a man that she once loved.

‘Evelyn.’

In her dream, Fabian called her name.

‘No, I am…….’

With difficulty, he reached out his hand. Evelyn just stared at it in silence. She couldn’t articulate what he had to say in her dream. She couldn’t think of any kind of answer.

‘I wanted you to ·······.’

The wind blew hard and clouded what Fabian said. Again, the sweet scent of the golden tree had spread. Her view was gradually darkened. It was time for her to wake up from her dream.

Only

“Ha……..·”

Evelyn was able to lift her heavy eyelids with a cold sweat. A heavy breath was coming out of her lips. She felt a change of body she had never experienced before. Even though it was her first time, her instincts had already known this change.

“Mo…mother ······.”

It was a night before the end of summer.

“I think the child is going to be born.”

****

(T/N : *coffin in here means Evelyn feel like she’s buried inside “empress” body)