I'm a Walking Disaster With My Unwanted Virginity

Chapter 157 - Sometimes The Answer Is Obvious And Yet

Evengeline Rodwich was the fourth official daughter of Count Melheim. Though the other official daughters were supposedly her sisters- she never felt attached to them, apart from one: Kyrstal Rodwich. Besides, the eldest two were already wed off by the time she turned five. 

Krystal was Eve's older sister and loved her dearly, she was the only one who spent enough time with Eve. Eve also loved her but not to that extent- at least she hadn't realized, until that incident. 

Seven years ago, a room had caught fire in the Rodwich house- the room belonged to Krystal and at the time of the fire- she was in there. 

This was impossible on various terms. First, Krystal had special powers and that powers were enough for her to stop the fire, meaning someone probably preplanned this whole thing. 

Eve's mother blamed Marg and seeing so, Eve also blamed her. After all, who else would have the efficiency to light up a single room in this house and only kill one person? And not to mention discretely. 

Eve actually had reasons to blame Marg. One of the reasons was that Krystal always treated Marg harshly. She sometimes even hit Marg. But that wasn't all. Just the day before the incident, Krystal had kicked Marg so bad- Marg actually had a fever that day. Meaning, it wasn't possible for Marg to do this in the first place. 

And Eve herself knew it was unfair to assume that Marg was the one responsible- and yet, she had to blame it on someone and that someone just conveniently ended up being Marg. What started with just accusations, gradually turned to anger and anger turned to hate. And after a certain point Eve couldn't differentiate between her fabricated feelings and actual hate. In fact, she went so deep, most of her feelings were just fake. 

She almost burned Marg and her mother on three occasions- but due to certain reasons, she couldn't. 

But now- after seven years of complicated feelings- she was glad she didn't. Though she wasn't too sure about that either. 

Her sister Krystal loved her and she loved her too. But only after her death did she realize those feelings. With Krystal gone, there was no one left to sing her lullabies: no one fed her, no one dressed her up- no one cared, not Melhiem, not her own mother. 

Though she was the daughter of a count, she didn't have personal maids. Her powers were subpar compared to some of her siblings and her mother was the measly daughter of a knight. The other official siblings had much better standing within the house of Rodwich.

At the end of the day, she wasn't treated that differently from her not-so-official half-siblings. Of course, she didn't have to work and no one demanded that she do so either, like the maids. She wasn't chosen as a tool either. Red hair was seen as a symbol of the devil in that region, meaning people purposefully avoided her, but since her father had a reputation, no one dared to say anything, at least not in front of them.

There were hundreds of days when Eve had to cry herself to sleep.

She would have been fine if things stayed as they were: After all, almost everything was beyond her powers.

But now- after seven years, her fabricated feelings, her heart, felt different. 

She was fine with Marg being happy- after all, though she had hate- she knew her feelings were fake. Maybe she couldn't differentiate her feelings, but she knew none of her feelings were original- hers- anymore. Was she real? She didn't know. 

Instead of making her newly enrolled sister's life hell, she decided to stand in her way as a stepping stone. It'd be good entertainment for her anyway. 

But that's when something happened. 

She met a boy, a boy she thought she could manipulate and maybe have a bit of fun. Her life was really dull- no goals. Maybe this boy would entertain her a little?

It started with teasing and pranks but eventually led her to believe she finally found a friend. Perhaps her lonely days were over. People treated her with care and respect in the academy but everything was fake to her- after all- she was fake. But maybe-

That's where she was mistaken, again. She was called back home, after nearly two years. 

After seventeen years of basically nothing, her father demanded something of her- he demanded that she seduce a certain boy and use him. Bring him into the family. The boy would be the key to their family's dominance. 

She liked the boy, but using her body as a means for that- she was never going to do that. Even if it meant, her death. That was her resolve and she was even willing to kill the boy, the root cause itself: her friend. 

She also understood another truth. It wasn't that her sister had died, no, she committed suicide just to not give in to her father's wish. After all how else would a girl with the power of water, die from a measly fire? 

All this time Eve knew that, but she purposefully avoided the whole thing, but now, now her memories just wouldn't shut up. But to eve, that was weak. 'If I die- I'll die trying.'

And yet, she was sad, her eyes leaked, her body burned. The pent-up emotions finally leaked. She wanted to run away, she wanted to kill everything- though neither was possible, and she knew that. 

She went back to the academy. Some days passed. 

But then- then she saw her sister with the boy and she understood, even if she tried, there was no point. Again, she was too late to learn about things that mattered. She was late in the game of life. 

She only understood that she loved her sister after her absence. In the same way, she understood that this boy- the same boy she was willing to kill, wasn't someone she could kill or even think of killing. Whenever she did, her chest felt weird and tightened. 

It was probably jealously. After all, she didn't even know the boy, so love was ridiculous, right?

Those were her thoughts and she herself knew it was pointless to think about all that. 

Most of Eve's feelings were false and fabricated. So in order to confirm her feelings- her real feelings- she tried various things. 

She tried to get away from the boy, she tried to get close to the boy, and she tried to make the boy sad, and then happy and ultimately monitor and record her feelings and her thoughts every day. She was very thorough. 

When she got close to the boy, her heart would race, when she got far from the boy, her heart would feel weird and she'd feel sad. When the boy was happy, the boy laughed, she found herself smiling- and no it wasn't fake. But when the boy was sad, it was almost as though her heart was being crushed every second. 

After a week of trial and error, she'd compiled her written thoughts. 

That's when she realized, it wasn't jealousy. 'I love him.'

For the first time ever, her feelings were real. They weren't fabricated- these were her feelings! And she could confirm, she really did love him. 

But what would knowing, get her?

She was too late and the boy's- Helio's heart belonged to someone else: her sister Marg. 

Marg was more beautiful than her- at least she believed that- after all, all her life she'd heard bad things about her fiery red hair and how her appearance was not appealing at all. 

She wasn't in the same class as her sister, and she didn't have amazing powers like her either. 

There was no way she could compete.

So, slowly, she distanced herself from them. Maybe she couldn't be happy, but she a least wanted the boy to be. 

But then one day, her father showed up in the academy. 

As fate had it, even Helio showed up. They talked. 

Helio saw Eve as a friend. It hurt Eve to such an extent that she froze. She already knew that- she already prepared herself, and yet- she couldn't bear the pain.

And on that day, she was yet again abandoned. 

Her mind was made up. 

But nothing went according to plan, it never did. 

Some days passed and with loads of courage, she challenged her father. She was probably going to die and she knew her dreams would never come true either, but- she didn't want to give up. Perhaps even these feelings were false, but- she wanted them to be real. 

It was a grueling fight and somehow she survived. She herself couldn't believe that. But now she'd not just lost her home, she also lost her pride and the boy she loved. 

The thoughts did run wild in her mind. 'If I can't have him I won't let her-'

But then she realized what would that make of the boy? What would he feel?

The idea of the boy suffering didn't sit well with her. It was fine that she was suffering but- if the boy also suffered- it'd be unbearable. And there wouldn't be any point to that. 

So- she made up her mind. And she finally understood- maybe her sister's choice wasn't weakness after all. Maybe her sister felt the same on that day, she felt today?

'But I'm not giving up.' 

She'd lost everything, so it was time for a new beginning. 

***

Selene was going on a date today. 

This was her last year in this academy and so far, life wasn't so bad. 

She had two lives; one, the academy life where she was free to do everything, and two- her nightlife- the life she despised, and yet, there was no denying that she enjoyed that life. 

She knew she stood no chance but- she didn't care. She always believed in living in the moment. The future? The past? Those didn't matter. The present was enough. 

Maybe Helio won't belong to her, maybe he won't look at her the same way he'd look at that girl, but she wanted to make it clear to Helio, she was also a woman and she wasn't giving up just because a flat teleporting girl showed up. 

She put on her lipstick, secured her purse, and wore a nice dress, a bit daring on the back. 

She had no fashion sense and never did make up-but that still wasn't enough to stop her today. Her mind was made up and she had a smile. 

She was about to do stuff and she was going to go all out, it didn't matter if she got rejected either. 'You'll be mine tonight.. Even if it's only just for the night.'