I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

Chapter 99

Savior A II

As I had declared to Noh Do-hwa, from that day on, I began behaving like a complete jerk.

I kicked fairies for no reason and bullied shop clerks. Whenever I had the chance, I spread rumors about others.

I even started a series on SG Net called [Luxury Series Enjoyed in the Apocalypse], where I insulted all the awakeners on the Korean Peninsula. At first, I did it anonymously. But I subtly hinted that the posts were from "ZERO_SUGAR."

-Anonymous: Breaking news! Evidence that ZERO_SUGAR = LuxuryKing.jpg

-ZERO_SUGAR: Oh no, I've been found out.

Finally, I pretended that my identity had been unintentionally revealed, completing the charade.

I smiled with satisfaction.

Anyone could now call me a jerk without hesitation...!

"...?"

Sim Ah-ryeon, an expert in this field, glanced at the monitor beside me.

"If it were me, I wouldn't just hint at the same identity anonymously. I'd change IPs constantly while praising and commenting on LuxuryKing. Of course, I'd manipulate the upvotes..."

"...!"

"The pinnacle of socializing is when your posts, no matter how trivial, dominate the popular list on the board with a flood of upvotes..."

"...!"

"Yes. You need to create a signature nonsensical post that's uniquely yours. The Luxury series is too well-made to be considered nonsense... It even provides vicarious satisfaction. That's not good. It has to be utterly useless nonsense, so everyone knows it's just manipulated upvotes. Try beatboxing, singing, or posting consistently about something nobody cares about..."

"...!"

??????? (Three people walking together must have at least one teacher among them).

Indeed, I learned from Sim Ah-ryeon and transformed into a perfect jerk in the apocalypse.

-OldManGoryeo: ZERO_SUGAR << If you like this bastard, upvote lolol

?OldManGoryeo: Starting with me lmao

?Anonymous: Just upvoted, you bastard

?Anonymous: Just upvoted, you bastard

OldManGoryeo's social circle (surprisingly, a group of followers who revered Sim Ah-ryeon as a named figure on SG Net) began supporting.

If there are those who like you, there must be those who dislike you to maintain balance in the world. Normal SG Net users started to hate me.

-[Samcheon]WitchJudge: What's up with ZERO_SUGAR lately? Is he crazy?

-LiteraryGirl: Fuck, why is half of the popular posts just socializing bullshit? SG Net is ruined. I'm leaving.

?Anonymous: See you tomorrow!

-dolLHoUse: Oppa...

-[National Road Management Corps] Officer: It's not pleasant to see a few people who are nothing but a handful disturbing the whole board.

-CookingQueen: Interesting.

The result was perfect.

Now, it was time for those infected with Savior Narrative Syndrome to come to their senses??

-[Baekwha] SixthGrader: Upvoted hehehe

That moment never came.

When Cheon Yo-hwa, the absolute leader of Baekwha Girls' High, pressed the upvote button, hundreds of Baekwha guild members automatically followed suit.

[Mr. Undertaker, I am not very interested in SG Net activities.]

[But sensing your desire to become a named figure, I have captured and exposed the personal information of four awakeners who tried to slander you.]

[Please continue your activities without worry.]

Why?

I turned to Cheon Yo-hwa, who was evolving from a koala to a sloth, and asked.

"Yo-hwa. Isn't my behavior jerk-like?"

"Huh? No. You must have hurt your brain while overexerting yourself to save us. Don't worry, teacher! Even if the whole world criticizes you, I never will!"

"......"

"We'll take care of you forever!"

My pupils trembled. Responsibility? Forever? Students taking care of their teacher? It felt like one of those gacha games before the apocalypse.

The tragedy didn't end there.

"Undertaker! Did you hear?"

Dang Seo-rin burst into my hideout.

"What?"

"Sorry! For not recognizing it sooner...!"

Suddenly, Dang Seo-rin, like a character from a hot-blooded youth drama, ran over and hugged me tightly.

I was flustered. Dang Seo-rin was not one for physical affection.

"Not recognizing what? Suddenly, what...?"

"They said you hurt your brain dealing with anomalies! And that you were infected with a mental anomaly called Attention-Seeker Syndrome...! Why don't you ever care about yourself and only think of others?"

"...Shit."

"Oh my! Even Anger Management Disorder. I'm sorry, Undertaker. Am I too late? Don't worry. Even if you burn the whole world, I'll always be on your side..."

I was screwed.

"Wait, Dang Seo-rin. That's a misunderstanding. Who fed you that fake news?"

"Huh? The constellations told me?"

"...That's a lie. Think logically. Who's more trustworthy, me or the constellations?"

"Huh? Of course, the constellations."

"...Actually, constellations don't exist. It's all a masquerade controlled by one person."

"Oh."

Dang Seo-rin's eyes softened. She stood on tiptoes and patted my forehead.

"I see. Yes, yes. You're right. The constellations are all lies... Don't worry. You don't need to worry about anything..."

This is insane.

A chill ran down my spine. Cheon Yo-hwa and the Saintess, and Dang Seo-rin were among the strongest awakeners on the Korean Peninsula.

It was no exaggeration to say that half of Korea's power had fallen to the anomaly since all three were simultaneously infected with Savior Narrative Syndrome.

With the other half, including me and Noh Do-hwa, we held another emergency meeting.

"Chief, we're screwed."

"Crazy..."

Noh Do-hwa sighed and then opened her eyes wide.

"No, wait. Isn't it just you who's screwed? I have no problems..."

"Hey."

"Think logically, Undertaker. What harm does this anomaly bring to us? It's just that some powerful awakeners are mentally dependent on you, but wasn't that already the case? Does anyone die? Is there any material damage? Do I get tired? No. The more I think about it, the more I feel like I can just sit this out..."

"If you get infected too, you'll cling to me and cry, 'You were indeed the savior of the world...'"

"Fuck..."

"You know I have [Complete Memory], right? I swear here and now, if you don't help me, I will someday hone my artistic skills to a hyper-realistic level, like a photograph."

"Artistic skills...?"

"Yes. I will draw you clinging to me in excruciating detail. The title will be [Noh Do-hwa Worships the Savior]. I'll post the high-definition picture on SG Net, forever. In every run."

"What the fuck is this crazy bastard talking about...?"

Bang! Bang! Bang!

The conference room door shook violently. Despite being designed to withstand a nuclear explosion, voices beyond the steel door were clearly heard.

-Teacher! Open the door!

-Hyung! Are you there, hyung! I made all your posts popular using my admin privileges!

-Oh, what to do... The guild leader seems scared to come out. She's so hurt, mentally collapsed... From the start, the sacrifice was too much for one person to handle...

-Oppa. It's Ha-yul. Sorry. I should have realized when you asked me to install an unbreakable security system from outside. Regret, deep regret.

-We were wrong, Undertaker. Sorry. So please smile like you used to, okay? Please?

Goosebumps rose.

It was pure terror.

Honestly, in recent centuries, no anomaly had scared me this much. It was more frightening than the Infinite Void.

I muttered seriously.

"Should I kill myself?"

"Oh, that's a great method. I'd love to say hurry up and die, but can you guarantee that Savior Narrative Syndrome won't appear in the next run? Are you going to kill yourself every time this anomaly appears...?"

"That's a cheap shot."

"Come up with a plan. I don't want the current run to be ruined by such a stupid anomaly. Aren't you an anomaly expert...?"

Crash! The steel door shook like a piece of paper.

I spoke urgently.

"Chief, how about this?"

"Go on..."

"Let's pretend that the reason I helped those people was because I had ulterior motives. In other words, I approached them with sinister intentions. If it turns out that what they thought was 'salvation' was actually my selfish desire, the foundation of Savior Syndrome will collapse. What do you think? I just came up with it, but isn't it perfect?"

"Don't do it, you bastard..."

"...?"

"Just don't. Do you want to watch Korea crumble? When I said say anything, I didn't mean spout nonsense, you crazy bastard..."

If this were the 555th run, after meeting Oh Dok-seo and getting into web novels, I could have analyzed the situation more coolly.

...This anomaly, which started with 'Savior Syndrome,' triggered guilt in the people around me by my 'sudden strange actions.'

Especially hiding in Noh Do-hwa's secret bunker was the worst move.

By activating the plot of 'the protagonist with mental wounds shuts themselves away,' the guilt of those around me intensified, and the 'salvation' narrative deteriorated into the 'regret·obsession·ruin' genre.

If I chose 'suicide' here, it would be the worst.

This anomaly might evolve beyond my regression ability into a narrative where 'the protagonist died sacrificing for us,' maxing out the guilt. My life's genre would drift into ruin, creating the worst anomaly I couldn't defeat with regression.

In short, the true nature of this anomaly wasn't 'Savior Syndrome.'

It was a 'cliché'. That was the anomaly's true form.

Genre literature had settled into the cliché of avoiding, twisting, and overturning clichés.

Even my rebellion against the salvation narrative was a cliché, making it a much tougher anomaly to tackle than I initially thought.

Thanks to Noh Do-hwa preventing my suicide, I avoided the worst bad ending.

‘What should I do? Making myself look like a jerk isn't working? But I can't just kill innocent people or commit evil deeds.’

For the record, if I had committed real 'evil deeds' back then, the situation would have worsened with side effects. That's prime material for a ruin genre plot.

‘What should I do...’

Crash!

Finally, the steel door was crushed. Familiar faces reached through the gap.

"Teacher." "Hyung." "Guild leader..." "Oppa." "Undertaker."

Noh Do-hwa was terrified.

"Do something. Anything but the crazy plan you just mentioned..."

"Ah."

In that moment, an inspiration struck my mind like lightning.

It was divine providence.

An act the protagonist of a salvation narrative would never do. Not just that, an act that no work in the world had ever established, thus never considered a cliché.

An act that wouldn't give the impression of 'suddenly becoming a different person' while inherently being unlikable. Something I'd always had as a characteristic.

A strategy like a miracle, and I had only one.

Crack!

The steel door completely crumpled, revealing the exit.

People approached, swaying like a horde of zombies. Indeed, the underground bunker of the National Road Management Corps, the last bastion on the Korean Peninsula, had fallen.

Yet I did not retreat. Like Zhang Fei of Changban, I stood before the salvation zombies.

And I shouted.

"Who wants to talk about [Three Kingdoms] with me!"

Stop.

The salvation zombies hesitated.

"If Wei Yan's plan at Ziwu Valley had been accepted by Zhuge Liang? If Ma Su hadn't climbed the mountain? If Liu Bei hadn't lost the Battle of Yiling?"

"......"

"Was Jiang Wei's Northern Expeditions justified? Was Liu Shan really a foolish ruler? Does anyone here support Cao Cao? The Xuzhou Massacre was an unforgivable crime!"

"......"

Hesitation. Hesitation.

The salvation zombies took steps back from me. My eyes sparkled.

It worked! It really worked!

I shouted even louder and approached the salvation zombies.

"After all, only Shu-Han carries on the true lineage of Han! Wei supporters are psychos, and Cao Cao was just a deranged attention seeker!"

"......"

"Cao Cao killed his father and massacred the people of Xuzhou, but in Wan, he lusted after a widow and caused his son's death! What hypocrisy! This led to the succession of Cao Pi, an unprecedented sociopath, and brought disaster! Cao Cao is the enemy of the world and should be stoned! Dang Seo-rin!"

"W-What?"

"Let's talk about the Three Kingdoms!"

"Uh... sorry. There's a big issue in my guild. That's why I came to see the Chief. But she looks busy. I'll come back later."

"Yo-hwa!"

"Y-Yes?"

"Want to talk about the Three Kingdoms?"

"??Sorry, sunbae! I have a basketball game with the kids soon! I must go!"

"Ha-yul! Seo Gyu! Ah-ryeon! You guys like the Three Kingdoms, right? Let's go to Mount Qi this weekend and see why Ma Su climbed the mountain!"

"Kyaaah!"

Starting with Sim Ah-ryeon's scream, known for its high pitch since the first run, the salvation zombies fled.

The salvation narrative anomaly was defeated.

Only Noh Do-hwa and I remained in the conference room.

"......"

"......"

I turned to Noh Do-hwa.

Noh Do-hwa's expression was indescribable with words.

Despair. Relief. Contempt. Annoyance. Disbelief. Pity. Annoyance. Discomfort.

Only by mastering hyper-realistic painting could I convey the complex emotions Noh Do-hwa directed at me.

"...Chief."

"Yes..."

"Want to talk about the Three Kingdoms?"

Silence.

Noh Do-hwa mumbled.

"...Sure. Whatever."

"..,,,."

"Fine, let's do it..."

Confession: That response hurt more than anything else. The end.

Epilogue.

"??Such things happened in the 126th run, Chief Noh Do-hwa. That's why I bring up the Three Kingdoms whenever I can. It's not because of my old-fashioned taste, but to protect the peace of the Korean Peninsula and the world's safety. As a preventive measure, I bring up the Three Kingdoms. It helps prevent Savior Narrative Syndrome. Do you understand? Will you acknowledge my noble self-sacrifice?"

"Bullshit."

Footnotes:

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