Chapter 1423 - Incoming Changes (2)
Chapter 1423 - Incoming Changes (2)
JoAnna wanted to ask how he found her, but then she realized that it does not matter. Too many people saw her last night, and if he checked the GPS locator, he would see that Sarah, Aiden, Sophia, and Felix were at this location, so without asking anyone, he would figure it out.
Based on his appearance, she can see that he is here for a while.
JoAnna looked at Jeff who is usually standing straight, powerful, projecting an aura of a true leader who can take the throng of his followers to a secure victory, and now he is shrinking in front of her, showing how insecure and vulnerable he is.
JoAnna remembered that she called him a King who has his kingdom where he is an absolute ruler, and she said that she will be his Queen, but now it seems that the King in front of her has lost his kingdom and his purpose to live, and her heart ached to see the man she loves in such a state.
"I'm sorry, Anna…", Bridgette said from the room when she approached the door wrapped in a blanket. "When I went to get water, I saw that Jeff is here, but I didn't know how to tell you. I was concerned that you will get upset again so I was thinking of finding a way to say it, but..."
"Don't worry about it. Take care of your things and meet me down when you are done.", JoAnna said and closed the door.
JoAnna was on the verge of lunging herself at Jeff and hugging him and asking him to take her home, but Bridgette's appearance made her snap out of it and she remembered how that will not solve anything.
She is upset and there is a reason, but part of JoAnna is upset at herself because she allowed them to reach to this point. Should Jeff be the only one punished for this?
JoAnna wondered if things would be different if she didn't blindly trust that Jeff will see what is bothering her and that he will fix things on his own. And there was a time when she believed that the things which are bothering her don't matter, and she should not stir up a fuss about it; Jeff is a busy man, and she should not allow them to bicker about trivial things during those limited times when he can focus only on her, because it's not worth arguing about it.
Over time, those trivial things added up and now JoAnna has difficulty remembering the good times she shared with Jeff. She knows that there are plenty of wonderful moments shared between the two of them, but this incident with Vera brought out all the other women and many other things which made JoAnna displeased and it all overshadowed her happy memories, leaving a longing for the vague feelings of happiness she can't remember.
JoAnna looked at Jeff and she was not sure what to say or ask. So, she decided not to say anything. She moved down the hallway, and Jeff followed her silently, closely behind her.
About five steps later, JoAnna stopped. She turned to Jeff and asked: "Why are you following me?"
Jeff felt that his heart is bleeding at the sight of JoAnna who is treating him like a stranger. He knew that it will be hard, but he didn't think that it will be this hard.
He took in a shaky breath and responded: "I want to talk to you."
JoAnna gestured to Jeff to go ahead and talk.
Jeff opened his mouth, and there were so many things on his mind, but the only words which came out were: "I am sorry."
JoAnna wanted to say that apologies will not fix anything. They had so many trials which instead of bringing them together, made them drift apart. But she couldn't make herself say much without breaking down, so she only asked: "For?"
Jeff struggled to inhale. He felt as if there are needles in his lungs, and every breath he takes is causing him immeasurable pain. But he forced himself to talk, because he had a feeling that if he misses this chance to speak, he might not get another one.
"For everything. For getting lost in my work and taking your love for granted because you didn't complain. For acting like all those women don't exist just because I don't care about them. For pushing my lifestyle on you and not questioning if you are accepting it because you really want it or just because you are doing it for my sake."
Jeff made a step toward JoAnna and reached to hold her hand, but she stepped back to avoid him.
Jeff lowered his head and continued: "You are brilliant, and I know that you deserve so much better than me, and you deserve so much more than what I gave you so far. I am selfish, I always was… And I still am in my desire for you to give me another chance."
His dark eyes stirred with emotions while looking at JoAnna's blue ones. "Please, Anna… Without you, I am not a man. Without you, I am no different than a machine. And for a very long time, I was confident that I am a machine, until I've met you. You made me aware that I have a heart and feelings and the fact that I lost sight of the most important person in my life is causing me unbearable pain. Please, allow me to fix it."
JoAnna felt like the hallway is running out of oxygen. Why is it so difficult to breathe? She took a deep breath and asked: "How will you fix it?"
"I feel that I've taken one year of your life. In return, I will give you mine."
JoAnna didn't understand what he means by giving her a year. But she didn't like the deadline. "A year? What happens after that?"
"I hope that by then we learn enough about each other so that we can compromise and find a solution that works for both of us." He glanced at her belly before correcting himself: "For all four of us."
"What do you mean by giving me a year?"
"For one year, I will abandon everything and focus only on you.", he said resolutely.
JoAnna was not sure if she heard him right. Or maybe he is not aware of what he is saying. "What about the company? The White family?"
Jeff shook his head. "I don't know, and I don't care. Between my dad and Aiden, they can take care of it. Or maybe Steve and Sophia can do it. Or it can all fall apart. I only care to stay by your side."
JoAnna frowned. How can he dump the work on others and expect that it will fix anything? "I don't want you to abandon everything and stay by my side for a year or for a month or for any amount of time."
Jeff expected this. JoAnna always allowed him to do his thing while putting herself second, and his mistake was that he went along with it. Not anymore. "I know. But I do. I want to show you that I am sorry, and I was wrong. I neglected you and that is the biggest mistake of my life, because you are the most important person in my life. Nothing makes sense without you. I only hope that you will give me a chance to prove that. If abandoning everything will not work, tell me what will. I am ready to do anything."
"Jeff, you know that I love you. But I am not ready to forgive you."
Jeff nodded. "I will wait until you are. And in the meantime, I will prove to you that forgiving me is not a mistake."
"What if I am never ready?"
Jeff looked at JoAnna and his chin trembled. The thought that she will never forgive him, hit him like a thunderbolt. His legs went weak and he fell on his knees with a loud thump. "I will wait as long as it takes. And if it never happens… so be it."
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