Isekai’d Shoggoth

Chapter 10: Royal Commission, Get! (I Accidentally Telephone)

Chapter 10: Royal Commission, Get! (I Accidentally Telephone)

"Since lord Ambercrombe had been an offending party and offered no wager, it is up to lady Gillespie to determine what his penance should be." - the king announces, back in the audience hall. The ponce is back, though his face is still grey and his mouth is still twitching each time he accidentally looks in my direction. He looks like a baby who's been spanked for the first time ever. Maybe that's actually so, in his case. His pants, at least, are replaced with dry pair.

"I will be satisfied with an oath not to approach me." - I offer back blandly. King's brow raises.

"An oath not to approach you?" - he repeats, his expression confused. Oh dear. I think I am going to invent a restraining order today.

"Your highness, as we had witnessed, lord Ambercrombe is willing to claim falsitudes to secure gains. As such, I would be a fool to extend any trust to him for the second time." - I offer as an explanation - "Therefore, I ask that lord Ambercrombe swears an oath in front of king and witnesses that he will not speak to me first, nor seek my company, knowledge or business forevermore. So long as I'm spared of his further attention, I deem the matter to be sufficiently closed. And should he violate the oath, well then I ask that he be stripped of nobility for that affront."

King chews on his lip thoughtfully. "The stripping of nobility is a heavy punishment..." - he begins thoughtfully - "But appropriate for an oathbreaker. But what do you mean by business?"

"Any and all endeavors, your highness. Making sugar, for example? It's business. Laying down roads? It's business. Importing steel? Business. Anything that involves profit, be it profit for the hold or profit for the person, is business." - I explain, catching the ponce wince and shiver at the mention of sugar. Roads fail to evoke much of reaction, but he flinches again as the steel is mentioned. Superficial idiot.

"Very well!" - Abraham booms authoritatively - "Lord Ambercrombe, you are hereby ordered by your sovereign to give an oath that you shall not speak to, nor seek company, profit or wisdom of lady Gillespie forevermore. Should you break this oath, then you shall be commoner henceforth."

A little bit of bargainous and self-important braying from Ambercrombe later, the oath is given (through clenched teeth) and ponce vacates the premises with haste. Back to... sugar?

Abraham sits down heavily and rests his head on his hand briefly. "Let me guess, he volunteered to escort you solely so that he could learn the secret of sugar, isn't it so?" - he offers wearily - "Fools, at times I feel I'm surrounded by fools. Lord Gillespie, lady Gillespie, why aren't you in the capital more often? I could use the intelligent company."

Father chuckles - "Many pardons, your highness, but only a fool would abandon his domain to fend for itself for long." He and king exchange commiserating looks. Apparently, the problem of eminently stupid nobles is neither unknown, nor overlooked. Note to self - look into developing communication means. It's a long way to phone via technology, but maybe I can kludge something together with magic... And technology... And... Hm... Hmmm... Actually... That looks pretty promising... The law of contagion should make this... Hm... Yes...

And apparently, I drifted off enough during a royal audience to conjure several metal plates and start enchanting them right in front of everyone. Which, apparently bemused the king so much he talked shop with father for almost an hour watching me tinker. GAH. Embarrassing.

On the other hand, magical phone prototype, get.

"....An enchantment of communication?" - Abraham frowns, his brow furrowed as he considers a palm-sized slab of copper on his hand. Other is examined by father on the other side of the hall. There is an obvious button on either. Dad presses the button and says something into his part. His voice comes out of the piece held by the king, loud and clear - "Testing, testing! Your highness, do you hear me?" Abraham fumbles with the button, before retorting - "Hear you well! Come on back."

"Lady Gillespie, I shall commission ten pairs of this enchantment for the good of the kingdom. Cost and materials are of no object." - he proclaims immediately, after finding out that conjured pairing will vanish soon, but an enchantment placed upon a physically existent slab of metal will last for as long as metal does. Which, is both true and misleading, because the enchantment eats metal for fuel. If I were to take slates of copper of ten by four by one centimeter, it would half itself within a year of non-stop use. Or couple hundred years in dormant mode waiting for incoming. The basic of enchantment is a piece of copper within that I essentially quantum-split. It exists in both places in the same time, so being subjected to vibrations from one location causes reciprocal vibrations in the other. Quantum Entanglement Comms, get. Is that how rolling a natural twenty on artificing attempt feels like?

"...Certainly, your highness." - really, what else I could possibly say - "I believe I will need fifteen livres of pure copper, about a livre of powdered lapis lasuli and twenty spans of appropriate wood to set the enchanted plates into. I can't imagine it being pleasant to press copper against the cheek for long. No need for artisans, I did pick up more than enough on smithing and engraving from dwarves."

He peers at me. Father mirrors him. I sigh. "And a gold per pair for work. Don't put too much weight on these, I am already considering a more robust system." - I offer - "It will take a while though. I already know how to connect up to eight pieces into the same conversation, but it will be all or nothing system. If one is spoken to, all seven others will sound off, no way to exclude the specific recipients. These will be half a livre of copper, an once of powdered lapis lasuli, a span of wood and two ecu per receiver. It is immaterial how many clusters you want to create, so long as none are bigger than eight. So if one were to, say, ask for ten receivers, you could have five pairs, or two trios and two pairs, or two quartets and one pair or two quintets... So on and so on. There is no specific difference, save for the fact that clusters have to be decided at the enchanting."

King is clearly mulling it over, but then he waves his hand - "Let us go with the original order of ten pairs, lady Gillespie. I will need to consult with my advisers to decide which offices would benefit best from sharing connection." He seems to be deep in thought, and father offers him a bow - "Well then, with your permissions we shall retire for today, your highness. We are to be found in our manor, should you need us before Alyssa enters Academy."

Abraham straightens up. Groans. Goes to say something, but then reconsiders and switches topic visibly. "Ah, yes. The Academy." - he agrees - "I would wish you best of luck for that, lady Gillespie, but I have a premonition you won't find any scholarly difficulty there. Do know, however, that you have our full royal support, as your new inventions are of great interest and use to us as a nation. Should it be needed, I ask you to call upon me on any matter. I trust your discretion and common sense." He pauses, glances out of the window and blanches - "For now, however, I believe I shall let you retire and enjoy your badly deferred dinner. As well as find mine. Until we meet again."

___

"Alyssa." - father quips as we ride back from the palace in our carriage - "Do you know how many nobles ever earn a royal commission before even entering the Academy?" All I can do for an answer is a shrug. "None. You are literally the first person ever to achieve this." - he continues merrily - "The very idea that someone could be so accomplished before Academy was considered preposterous until now. On one hand, I have to congratulate you. On the other, be on your guard. When you enter the Academy, every single person there will want to be your friend or to have your skin peeled off."

"Speaking of friends." - I toss back - "What's the matter with Edward? I believe I was supposed to meet him at some point, instead he ran off as soon as that irritating duel was over. Is he trying to get out of engagement?"

Sighing, Gerard stroked his beard. He was clearly mulling the answer over. "To be fair, Alyssa, I don't know." - he finally responds - "His highness did not mention anything about engagement at all. It might be because he expects no change there, or it might be because Edward had persuaded him to break it off, but upon seeing our new contributions, his highness decided that Edward's decision was overly hasty. I do agree, though. Prince Edward's behavior towards you was rather rude."

"Honestly speaking? I don't really mind if the engagement is broken off, he is not my type, but... You know. I don't really want to be presented as 'the reason this engagement fell through', it is all on him. I wish he had the testicular fortitude to tell me what the problem is to my face, instead of playing the evasion game." - I grouse, only to hear father burst into confused laughter.

"..Testicular fortitude?... Goodness. Only you could say "have the balls to" and still sound like a scholar." - he finally manages - "For what it is worth, I agree. Still, he just might be having nerves or something equally trivial. You will see a lot of him in the Academy, try and give him a chance to fulfill his obligations? Should that prove to be untenable, however, be sure to notify me as quickly as possible and I will handle the legalities of engagement annulment. Try and make sure you don't end up being accused of something unsavory to make it happen though, alright? Rising against the rightful king is expensive."

Well, heh. Thanks. It was a little awkward, but it is pleasing to know father would consider an open rebellion to save me if needs be. Not that he'll really need to, of course, but the thought really counts.