Isekai’d Shoggoth

Chapter 40: Conception Of A Tabloid

Chapter 40: Conception Of A Tabloid

"You certainly don't miss any cues." - I grumble as I follow Lily-Anne into the garden. Abraham could not hang around for long, for obvious reasons, so after getting the acknowledgments, we bowed out to give him a few minutes to talk to Edward. Which is stupidly ironic, because in the end, I never got to have a talk with Ed properly. Now I have no idea what to expect from him.

"I should hope not." - she tosses back - "I'm not keen on missing out." She pauses once we are well into the garden. It's pretty abandoned this time of day. Most students are still taking their dinner. She looks around, sighs and promptly goes from self-assured confident princess to nervous girl five harsh words away from bawling. "Oh gods I actually did it, I can't believe I did it!" - she gasps and grabs my waist, pressing close to me. Well... darn. I pat her head.

"I'm guessing you were more worried about how your proposal was to go than you let on, then?" - I quip at her. She shudders and hides her face against my shoulder.

"...I was terrified you'd say no." - she finally offers in a muffled voice. And yeah, I guess she's crying. Or doing her best not to, but not quite managing, anyways. "I was terrified you'd take Ed back and things would get awkward... Then I was terrified you don't want anything to do with us at all...." Darn. That's... a bit more of an attachment than I expected from her. I guess she's really set on it.

"You want me that much?" - I quip at her. It's kinda dumb and blunt, but I honestly don't know what else to tell her. And that's not even minding my own suspicions about her decision being influenced. She groans and baps her fist against my shoulder lightly.

"Yes, gods damn it all." - she demands, looking up on me fiercely - "Do you have any IDEA just how much I hated the fact you were supposed to become Edward's wife? That this decision was made before I even understood the concept of marriage? That this one girl I have ALWAYS wanted was never within the reach? And then suddenly you are! What did you expect, that I would not grab you with everything I have?"

Holy. Fucking. Shit. This was FAR more than I bargained for. I thought Lily-Anne maybe having a recent hero worship style crush. Not a... The hell do I even call this? Unrequited love years in the making? At least I don't have to worry too much about influencing her unduly. She clearly had her own opinions way before I could actually stick my oar into that river. And she's clearly meaning what she said, she's not going to let me go of her own volition. That... simplifies some things and complicates others. But oh well. Que sera sera.

"Very well." - I quip dryly - "Consider yourself a wife, in that case. Ah, my wife, to be exact." I sigh and fluff her hair lightly - "Lily-Anne, look at me." I gently tilt her head back and look her in the eye - "Please understand me right. I think you are a very fine addition to my family. But, I want you to take some time to get used to being a part of a family before you commit to anything you can not take back easily. Consider this a promissory note." And with that, I lean in and kiss her properly. She shudders and squirms, her mind taking a bit of time to catch up with the events, but once she grasps what I am doing, she responds with great enthusiasm. I honestly wouldn't mind continuing, but there is someone gasping behind me!

So I push Lily-Anne back a little and turn to see what is going on. Aaaand I see the trio of most prominent gossip-mongers in the Academy. Nortrop-Bradford triplets. Funny story - both me and Lily-Anne are related to them through our mothers. They're children of my aunt and Lily-Anne's uncle on respective maternal sides. Well... darn. This is going to be all over the Academy in the blink of an eye. And I'm out of sorts, because I should have seen them coming via eyespiders... Which are not present. Because I was too preoccupied with my thoughts and forgot to spin them up. Bollocks.

"Sooo... before you spread this all over the Academy, it might behoove you to know that I've had my engagement switched from Edward to Lily-Anne by mutual agreement." - I tell them, and Lily-Anne groans, punching my shoulder again.

"Does low key actually mean anything to you?" - she grumbles.

"Sure does, honey, but we've been caught red-lipped, as it were. Might as well make sure they know the real deal. I'd rather not have someone come up and try to slap my face on Edward's behalf, you know?" - I tell her - "I mean, I will punt them into next week for trying, but this would be annoying."

The trio (Who are, much to my morbid fascination, named DeeDee, MeeMee and LeeLee...) exchange glances, then DeeDee, who is their usual spokeswoman as a group, ventures - "Perhaps... you would spare us some time to, ah... settle our curiosity, in that case? There is a very interesting new shop at the bazaar that sells all sorts of sweets. Would you be perhaps amenable to visit the place? Our treat."

Actually, you know what? Let's go for it. Releasing information on my terms is definitely preferable to a leak. "Counteroffer." - I tell them - "You'll pay for yourself, I'll pay for my girls. I need to invite a few more to make the story complete." Ooh, that got them interested.

Lily-Anne elbows me in the side. "What are you doing!?" - she hisses to me - "Even I know they're the biggest gossips in the whole city!"

I pet her head gently. "Lily-Anne, the cat is out of the bag." - I tell her - "I can not make them forget what they saw. But by providing them with the actual story on what is going on, we can at least assure there won't be much in the way of absolutely ludicrous. People want to know things, not talking to them simply makes them complete the missing parts from their own imagination, for good or for bad. Usually, for ridiculous."

"Also, when we know the whole story, we don't need to hurry to tell everyone. We can take our time dishing it." - MeeMee offers coyly - "When it's a rumor, you have to pass it on while it's hot, because tomorrow it will be something else. But when you really know a thing in advance? You can take your sweet time with it and dish it out little by little. Why, just what we heard right now from Alyssa is enough fodder to attract three whole parties. One to tell the engagement is broken, one to say princess is engaged, and one to reveal the new engagement. And if we know all the details and like the person we're talking about... And we do like you, little cousin, mind you... Well, then we can have people talking about you juuuust right until you actually hold your ceremony."

___

I end up leaving Lily-Anne with the trio as a "collateral" as I collect the rest of my harem and... actually just my harem. Selene is not in her room, and Rafiqa demurs from attending. She has her hands on a huge tome dedicated to histories of the Champagne and Kraut, and I have a feeling she's not at the point where she would care for a break, so I don't insist.

Taking a walk into the city is one thing. Taking a walk as a group of eight turns out to be something... else. Arriving to the shop (And of course, it was my shop. Figures.), we occupy two of the tables and push them together to form one big place to sit around at. Figuring out who wants what takes a bit of time (and the trio don very curious expressions when they hear Bridgit confidently state what she wants).

"Alright." - DeeDee takes the reins of conversation once the tea is brought in - "Given the present company, I suddenly feel like a certain rumor needs to be confirmed. So, Alyssa. Is that true that you are collecting a harem?"

"Yep. And before you ask, yes. I've taken the advantage of outing to take my harem out all at once." - I smirk at her, and I'm treated to three shocked faces and a bit of elbowing and snickering from my own girls - "In the interests of scrupulous honesty, Roxolane here...." I pause to gently ruffle her hair, prompting her to duck her head and smile sheepishly - "Is not yet sure if she wants to join or not. She has good reasons for hesitating."

Moon Unit pipes up - "So what exactly happened? You said there was something new about Lily-Anne, but never explained what."

"Ah. Well, we had a bit of conversation with high highness regarding my situation with Edward." - I begin - "Lily-Anne invited herself to conversation to offer an alternative. Basically, my engagement to Edward is called off by mutual agreement. Instead, I am now engaged to Lily-Anne. King Abraham had acknowledged that Lily-Anne's engagement is to join a harem. So... consider all of us engaged as of now. Actual officiating ceremonies will be held later. Much later. I intend to finish the conquest and solidify a rule over a domain before transitioning the engagement into marriage." I pause, and chuckle - "Now, I imagine there are questions to be answered. Ask, but no pestering."

LeeLee comes to her senses first. "What are you conquering?" - she asks curiously.

"Thousand Isles." - I tell her simply, and watch three jaws fall open again.

"It was YOU!?" - DeeDee demands incredulously - "You cursed the Sultanate!?"

"Ayep. Also stole a girl from Sultan's seraglio, while at it." - I tease back, and Roxolane ducks again. She... calms down once I lean over and give her a hug.

"..." - ok, I think I made the trio speechless. AAAnd now they're all demanding details and... oh jeez, how do they make so much clamor? It takes a while to explain everything to their satisfaction. On the plus side - now I'm entirely, completely, unequivocally legit harem mistress and can take out my girls on any and all sorts of dates without worrying about any public misunderstandings. On the minus - everyone is going to bother me for confirmations. Mental note - give father a call and tell him about everything. He'll be very puzzled otherwise. I wonder what's mother's take on this.

"You do realize there's going to be legends about you just from this, right?" - DeeDee quips eventually - "I... just... holy moly. You have a pretty insane life, you know? Goodness, it will take us a year to properly disseminate all this."

"Have you considered writing tabloid?" - I suggest to them half-seriously - "Between the three of you, you have it covered, I'd think."

"What's a tabloid?" - oh dear. They latch into the idea. Of course, once I explain the concept of newspaper, every girl sits up and pays attention. Trio objects that hand-writing so many copies is impossible. I counter with the concept of a printing press. The next thing I know, I am saddled with a request to develop and produce a printing press for the newspaper that the trio will organize. Fine. Whatever. Printing was a thing that I had to introduce anyways, and those three will be keeping the press smoking hot. Should popularize the concept of printing pretty darn quick.

MeeMee snaps her fingers - "So many new things, but one mystery remains!"

"Do tell." - I retort - "What mystery is still there?"

"Why, the mystery of who owns this shop. The reason why we came here in the first place." - MeeMee explains gleefully - "You wouldn't know, by any chance?"

I snicker as my whole harem facepalms as one. "Of course I know." - I tell her - "It's mine."