Little Miss Witch: Revenge of the Tainted Angel

Chapter 148 - At The Cost Of Her Own Happiness (2)

Li Chuntao was glad that it wasn't raining today and although the sun was hiding behind the thick clouds, at least she wasn't expecting it to rain anytime soon. Getting out of the car, she went ahead and walked into the cemetery where her parents' remains were. Behind her, Su Ling and Yu Lou kept a safe distance away from her to give her space and privacy. 

She walked through a maze-like pathway until she reached the Li family's mausoleum. She placed the basket filled with flowers on one side and started to clean the tombs without waiting for Su Ling and Yu Lou who arrived later. They helped her clean and wiped off the specks of dust around it while Li Chuntao placed new sets of flowers for each tomb. 

Once they were done sprucing up the place, the two stepped out of the mausoleum and decided to wait for her at the car to give her time with her parents. They both respected that Li Chuntao needed time on her own to grieve. 

"Hi, Mommy. Hi, Daddy. I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit you." Li Chuntao slumped on the clear floor facing their gravestones. Her long skirt fanned out around her while the black coat she was donning earlier was placed on her lap. "Ying is now with you, so I know you wouldn't have to worry about her but I…" 

Li Chuntao paused and looked down at her hands. She wasn't proud of what she'd become. She was nothing but a vengeful woman who'd lost the will to live after Ying's death. 

"Sorry, if you have gotten lonely, waiting for me to visit you. I know that seven years are simply too long." 

Li Chuntao wasn't used to this. Ying was the one who taught her how to release her frustrations and worries on their parents but she never thought that it would change anything. However, now, Li Chuntao felt more alone than ever. She had no one to rely on except her Uncle Yuren. 

"So many things happened and I don't know where to start." She sighed and looked around. The place remained the same. She remembered years ago, crying her heart out in front of their graves, holding Ying's hand. Had it really been that long? 

Before she knew it, she was already detailing her life for the past seven years and how she ended up being here, pretending as Ying. She also explained how their Uncle Yuren proposed another bet this time hoping that she would stay permanently with them. 

She left no detail out and spoke in such a way that one would think she was talking to a real, living person at how she added hand gestures and scoffed as she narrated everything. 

"But I can't say I'm really happy now…" she admitted, "I really miss you, Ying. Why did you have to leave me so soon?" 

Tears stung her eyes but she made no effort to stop it from flowing. Since she moved in to Mu Jianyu's place, Li Chuntao guarded her emotions, not letting the man be even a little suspicious of her. She refused to lose in this game of revenge she had personally started. 

"You were taken away from me too soon. I can't even imagine how to continue living without you," she sobbed, letting the tears roll down her cheeks. Three months had passed and yet, she still couldn't accept her sister's death. 

Li Chuntao felt like she was an unlucky person. Not only did she lose her parents at a young age, she also lost her twin sister before she even achieved her dream. What was she supposed to do? Everything that she held dear, she lost. 

"But don't worry about me. Mom, Dad. I'll be fine. The seven long years sure was hell for me but it was nothing I couldn't endure, but to lose Ying? I'm so sorry for failing you. I should have paid more attention to my sister when she needed me the most." She placed both of her hands on her face and sobbed quietly. 

So many regrets but so little opportunity to amend them. Li Chuntao felt like fate was against her, that she wasn't allowed to be happy in this lifetime. 

Li Chuntao allowed herself to cry. She didn't care if her eyes would be red and swollen later but this was the only place she knew she could be true to herself. In the face of her family, she was Li Chuntao, their little iris. 

She tried to remember those happy moments she had shared with them especially when both of her parents were still alive. While she was dubbed at their little iris, Ying was their little star. Ying might be the eldest between them, but Chuntao was healthier and larger when they were born. It was no wonder people around them always mistake her as the elder twin. 

"Ying, I promise you, I'll find the one responsible for your death. I might not be able to send them to accompany you in the afterlife but I'll make sure they would regret crossing paths with you." 

But before that, she must find the lead herself before her Uncle Yuren beat her into it. Since she had decided to migrate for good and never return, she would have to use all her resources to win the bet. 

Li Chuntao pulled herself back on her feet and wiped the tears on her face. Weak as she was, she wouldn't let anyone take advantage of it. Ying might have a heart of gold to forgive, but she didn't. 

She slipped her arms back into her coat and adjusted her collar while her eyes remained fixated to the gravestones where her parents' names were etched. Since Ying's remains had been cremated, it's currently placed in her Uncle Yuren's study for the meantime. 

"Ying, if you've met my little angel there…" Her words trailed off as she thought of the words she kept inside her heart. Aside from her Uncle Yuren, there was no other soul who knew about the child's brief existence. 

 "...would you tell him, I haven't forgotten about him. Tell him, Mommy's doing just fine. Tell him, I love him still, that he's still my little angel." 

Li Chuntao knew that it was impossible but she couldn't think of any other reason why she was having those recurring dreams again. It had been years but she would never forget the little bun she swore to love with all her heart. Their time together might have been too short but it was enough for her to have a strong bond with him. 

This... This was a secret Li Chuntao swore to bury until her last breath. Not even Ying knew about him and she hoped Ying wouldn't hold it against her. Because until now, Li Chuntao hadn't made peace on her past and the hollow space that was left in her heart when the little bun passed away was still left gaping. 

"My little Li Zirui, my little angel, I love you." 

Li Chuntao bid her goodbye, picked up her handbag, and turned to leave but before she reached the exit, she saw Shen Zichen standing there looking at her with a stern expression on his face.