Little Miss Witch: Revenge of the Tainted Angel

Chapter 199 - Not To Become A Demon (1)

"None of us expected her to go so soon. Chuntao, why do you hurt yourself like this?" Shen Zichen questioned her. He'd never thought that Li Chuntao was having thoughts like this. 

Li Chuntao lowered her head refusing to meet his gaze. How could she explain this to him? It was only because of Ying that she had him back in her life. If anything, she wished that she and Shen Zichen had reconciled under different circumstances; one which didn't involve her twin sister's death. 

She didn't think she deserved the happiness she had right now, not when those people who caused Ying's death were still around. 

"Do I even deserve all of this?" She covered her face with both hands and sobbed. 

Shen Zichen then realized that because Li Chuntao was the surviving twin, her guilt stemmed from the fact that she continued to live while her twin had passed on. Li Chuntao felt guilty for being alive. 

According to some studies, the loss of a twin could hurt longer and more intensely than the loss of nearly anyone else. When one twin dies, the remaining one often experiences profound survivor's guilt. They also experience problems with other intimate relationships. 

Today was one example, it was the Li twins' birthday, and instead of celebrating and being happy, Li Chuntao was still mourning for her deceased twin sister. She had no reason to celebrate because Ying wasn't here with her to share this special day anymore. 

"I don't deserve any of this," she told him. How could she be happy knowing her sister had suffered? 

Shen Zichen sighed and leaned his back on the bench with an annoyed expression on his face. He was trying to understand where she was coming from, but it was also difficult for him to see her acting like this. 

"So you mean to say that we should be miserable for the rest of our lives? That's not a life to have, Chuntao. That's certainly not a life your sister would wish for you to live." 

Li Chuntao wiped her tears dry. What she knew was, her husband was right. She knew it herself, yet there was still a part of her that yearns to be with her sister, to join her family in the afterlife, but that would surely leave Shen Zichen devastated. 

"You're not benefitting from her death, Chuntao." Shen Zichen's fingers ran over her wavy locks. "Neither am I, but I too wish that she's still here with us more than anything." 

Li Chuntao glanced at his face, seeing that he was also quivering from sadness at the thought of Ying's death. A pang of guilt hit her hard as she realized how self-centered she was. 

"I'm sorry. I should have known better than to blame myself." She shut her eyes and buried her face into his chest. "I'm sorry, Zichen." 

"I understand that you miss her, but please stop thinking like that." Shen Zichen pressed a gentle kiss on her temple, glad that she'd stopped shivering in his arms. It pained him to see her like this. 

Li Chuntao was as close to him as she could be. His familiar scent calming her nerves. She could feel the steady heartbeat on his chest, reminding her that she wasn't alone in this. Shen Zichen had been with her since Ying's death and she realized that it was ridiculous of her to think that she and he didn't deserve to be happy. 

She felt his lips claiming hers in a sweet kiss, his tongue running along her bottom lips to seek access into her mouth. Her mouth opened to accept him, a moan rumbling at the back of her throat as he tasted her, her tongue sliding over his after a moment. 

When Li Chuntao finally calmed down, Shen Zichen stood up and offered a hand for her to take.

"Let's go back inside. The birthday girl shouldn't be gone for too long, right?" He told her. 

The viciousness in Li Chuntao's eyes returned. It was time to proceed with the next step of her plan. 

When they came back inside, the guests were busy conversing with each other, enjoying the food and drinks being served by the waiters. Shen Zichen and Li Chuntao spotted Shen Yi and Lu Xinyi in the crowd and greeted them. 

Li Chuntao sheepishly smiled at her mother-in-law and apologized for not being around when they arrived. 

"What are you saying, dear? I know it's hard for you to be here." Madam Shen patted Li Chuntao's cheek before taking her hand in hers, leading her away from the boys. "Now let's go somewhere they can't bother us," she winked at Li Chuntao and laughed at her husband's annoyed face. 

They went to the other side of the mansion, where a huge pond was located. There was a bridge that connected their side to the other, which also allowed them to watch the koi fishes from above the pond. 

"Are you feeling better now? Zichen said you've been under the weather these days." Madam Shen asked her while she took pictures of the koi fishes that swarmed beneath them as soon as Li Chuntao dropped some fish pellets on the surface of the pond. 

"Sorry to make you worry, Mom. I'm just tired lately." Li Chuntao sighed and dusted away the crumbs that stuck on her hand.

"Ah, then I'm relieved to know that you're fine. You don't know how worried Zichen has been lately." The older woman laughed. She checked the photos she'd taken before putting her phone back into her purse. 

"Anyway, are you still looking for the person who harmed your sister?" 

Madam Shen's question caught Li Chuntao off guard. She wasn't sure how much Madam Shen knew and she wasn't comfortable discussing her plans with her. 

"We've already found a lead. Everything would be fine soon, Mom." She refused to reveal the identity of the culprits, although that didn't mean Madam Shen was oblivious to what was happening to her and Zichen. 

Li Chuntao still wasn't used to calling her mother-in-law like that, but she supposed it was because, for years, she never had one and the person who gave her the maternal love she needed was her Auntie Yue. 

"Do you know how fortunate you are, Chuntao?" Madam Shen started. "Living happier than those people who hurt you and Ying is actually the best revenge." She paused as if pondering her next words. 

"I'll be honest with you. I'm worried about you and Zhichen. I know how revenge can put a strain in a relationship. I don't want you to become a monster like those people after you avenge your sister's death." 

Of course, Li Chuntao knew what her mother-in-law meant, but she couldn't help it. She couldn't sleep peacefully at night, knowing that the person who murdered her twin sister was out there, free from retributions. She was also aware that her anger and revenge could slowly affect her marriage with Shen Zichen. 

"Do you understand, Chuntao? You are a married woman now. Please don't act recklessly. I don't want to see you or Zichen getting hurt again." Madam Shen's eyes conveyed the unspoken words about Li Zirui's death, something Li Chuntao wasn't ready to discuss yet with their families. 

"I know, Mom. Please don't worry. I will never become a demon like those people." Li Chuntao promised Madam Shen.. She started to wonder how far she would go for her revenge.