Loving Madeline

Chapter 102 - My Heart Bleeds

Hunter's POV

I can hear my wife walking towards me since it is now so quiet inside our home. I am still sitting on the stool while my head is resting on my arms over the bar counter, And I know she was trying her best to carefully tread on the floor so she will not make any noise. I want to take her into my arms and tell her she doesn't need to worry about anything because we can overcome this trial together, but who I am to tell her that everything will be okay between us when I know things will never be the same again. I couldn't promise Madeline that I can't hurt her along the way while I am trying my best to find a solution to this mess. I don't want to decide for us yet because I need to see Rebecca first, and I know my feelings for my ex-fiancee are still there, but how can I inform Rebecca that I am already married? 

"Hunter! Please go back to bed." I hear Madeline's voice as she gets closer to me, and when I felt her soft fingers rubbed my shoulder, I want to pull her closer to me, but I pretended that I fall asleep because there is no way I am going to show Madeline I am having a hard time. She knows I am tough, I should not have cried in front of her a while ago, but when she told me about Rebecca being alive, I couldn't stop myself from crying because I felt so happy that she didn't die, but I cried harder when I realized I am going to hurt Madeline more.

I felt my wife stroked my back, and then she stop calling my name when she thought I was sleeping. I heard her walk around the bar, and I can tell she cleaned up my mess. And I hope she is careful with her feet because there are so many broken pieces of glass on the floor. After all, I didn't only shatter one bottle of whisky but three after I talked with Calixto. And it feels like every bottle that I broke, the sadness that I felt lessen until I also pulled out two bottles of cognac because I want to drink more to forget everything, even for a while, but I ended crushing them too. I don't want my wife to tidy up my mess because I can clean up the place later, but she is already doing it, and I felt guilty.

It feels like forever before I notice that she already left, and when I raised my head, I can no longer find Madeline, and the whole place looked spotless. I sighed and stood up from the stool, and I walked to the living room. I lay down on the couch, and as I closed my eyes, I can't stop thinking about the coming morning, and I can't contain the uneasiness that I felt.

I am startled when I opened up my eyes that I found Calixto standing beside the couch. He was watching me like I am a piece displayed at an auction.

"You almost give me a heart attack, Calixto. How did you get in?" I asked.

"Madeline opened the main door for me." He said, and I can't stop the hammering on my chest as I heard my wife's name, and I felt glad she is not around.

"I guess your wife didn't sleep last night because I can see her eyebags, and she looked haggard too, just like you, and I think you should take a bath now because you smelled alcohol. And if you want to impress your first love, you should look good in front of Rebecca today." He said, and it was late for him to realize Madeline got inside the living room wearing a midnight blue mini dress that hugged her body perfectly. Even without sleep, she still looked stunning, but I can see the hurt that registered on her face after she heard Cal's voice, but she masked her expression by smiling at me, and my heart skipped a beat. She looks like an angel, and I felt so bad that I am making her so unhappy right now.

"I already prepared breakfast, and you have to take a shower now if you want us to leave early, Hunter." She said, sounding so calm, and it is making me crazy. I nodded my head at her without saying anything, and I left Cal with her. And I can see the horrified looked on his face as he realized what he had done. I know he is fond of Maddie, and he doesn't intend to hurt her.

I climb the stairs with heavy steps, and I take a shower quickly and choose to wear a t-shirt and jeans, Maddie's favorite. For how many times she complimented me, I looked hotter and younger wearing simple clothes. I want to make my wife feel better, and I hope Calixto is comforting her right now. I get my wallet and get out of our room. I can feel the heaviness of my heart as I walk to the dining hall. And my steps faltered when I heard Madeline's voice, and she was talking with Cal, and I don't want to eavesdrop, but I can't stop myself from getting closer to hear what my wife is about to say.

"It is okay, Calixto; I want to come with you today." She said.

"Madeline, I know how much you love your husband, and you are like a daughter to me, and same with Hunter, he is also like a son to me, and it hurts me now that you are both in pain. When I first meet you at your aunt's house, I was hoping Hunter will fall for you, and when it finally happened, I was the first one who felt like jumping on my feet because I want him to forget his past. And what is happening right now is unbelievable, but I am not saying I want Rebecca gone forever. It was just the timing was not right, and why it has to be you?" Calixto declared.

"I wish it all happened before Hunter meets you. I hope someone finds out the truth before you came into his life. So, you would not have experienced this kind of pain, and your peaceful world would never have been so chaotic. And I hate to think that destiny is messing up with your life." Calixto said.

"Cal, thank you so much for your concern about me. I wouldn't lie to you. I am hurting right now, but what I have been through is nothing compared to Rebecca. She suffered a lot, and my heart was aching for her. I never regretted that I met my husband. Hunter is the best thing that ever happened in my life, and even though what I had with him was borrowed time, I love Hunter, but I don't want to be greedy, and I know I can't live my life happily knowing Rebecca was out there who needed my husband's help and care. I know I am Hunter's wife, and I want to fight for my right, but deep inside my heart, I know how much he loves her, Cal." Madeline said, and I curled my fists on my side because I want to release my frustrations, and I want to comfort her, but what she had said was all true.

"I knew Hunter was in love with Rebecca. That is why he can never let go of her things, and I learned he kept her stuff for so many years. It wasn't my intention to find that place full of Rebecca's memorabilia, it pierced my heart, but I understand that I came second to his life. Rebecca was his first love, and deep in my heart, I know I can never take her place. Besides, I love him so much, and I want to help him stop blaming himself for Rebecca's fake death. I want to help him, Calixto, in any way I can." She added.

I don't know what to do anymore. I don't have the heart to face Madeline because I hate that I am making her miserable, but they are both waiting for me, and when they both fell silent, I took my chance to get inside the dining room, trying to hide my real feelings. I masked my confusion and pain by wearing the old face of Hunter Divenson. I am good with hiding my genuine emotions, I can look cold and distant to anyone, and it is better to be this way than give Madeline false hope. 

I can feel Madeline tensed up when I get inside the room, and the moment she looked at my face, I hate myself that I am doing this to her, and even Cal stopped talking the entire duration of our meal. 

"Madeline, I don't want you to come with us, but I know I need you to introduce me to the in-charge of the facility." I said, and she raised her head, and the moment our eyes meet, I can see her pain and anguish, and I can feel my own heart bleeds as I watched my wife in pain. But I tried to hide my affection towards her because I can't guarantee if I can protect her from this mess. I know deep inside she will get hurt, and I better start to distance myself from her so she can be ready. Both of us need to brace ourselves for the outcome of today's episode. I love Madeline, and I wish she will hold on to our love for each other, and I am only doing this to protect her.

"Of course, I understand." She replied softly, and I can see her hands are shaking as she tried to mask her pain. We get out of the house, and I can tell Cal wants to reprimand me, but he can't do it in Madeline's presence. We were silent as I drive the car, and I can't stop myself from stealing glances at Maddie in the rearview mirror of the vehicle, but she keeps her head down, and I want to see her lovely face, but the situation I am in made me feel like a total jerk. Calixto keeps glancing at my face, and I felt glad he settled himself on the front seat because it would be hard on my part to drive my car while Madeline is sitting beside me. I know I can't stop myself from inhaling her sweet scent, and I am sure she will drive me nuts. 

The moment we arrived at the gate of the mental care homes, I can't stop the racing of my heart, and I was hoping things will be better for the three of us even though I know I am going to hurt both of them.. Most of all, I know whatever decision I will make today, I will get hurt in the end, and I can't stop thinking about my father for making my life so fucked up and miserable.