Loving Madeline

Chapter 105 - I Am Not Okay

Madeline's POV

"I am pleased to meet you, Mr. Divenson; at last, I finally have the chance to see you in person, and no wonder why the patient can't forget you. You are indeed so handsome." Mindy said after I introduced my husband to her, and I still can feel Hunter's anger towards his dad, but he couldn't control the blush that crept on his face after Mindy complimented him, and indeed he looked so hot right now wearing his jeans and a white t-shirt. I always want to look at him wearing ordinary clothes. And seeing him so gorgeous and adorable makes me feel so sad because I know I will miss him terribly.

"Hmm, I know Madeline is your wife, and since she told you about Rebecca, I can tell you are the luckiest man in the entire universe for having her as your wife because not all dare to do such a thing," Mindy said while she looked at my husband, and then she turned her attention towards me.

"I salute you, Madeline. You are indeed selfless and courageous." Mindy said, and she looked at me with tenderness in her eyes, while I can see the concern beneath her beautiful smile.

"I care about Rebecca since she had been here for how many years, and I can tell she has a big chance of recovering, especially if she will constantly see you, Hunter. Ever since she was accepted here, she always asks about you, when are you going to visit her. It broke my heart that I can't bring you to her because, as you can see, your father brought her here, and he donated a large amount of money, and at first I thought Rebecca was only obsessed with you, because Clark told me, she ruined your life." Mindy said, and I can see how Hunter controlled his anger by curling his fists on his side.

"I didn't know you were Rebecca's fiance, and thanks to Madeline, she told me all about it, and I know you have to make a decision, Mr. Divenson," Mindy said, but I know Lucinda told her everything, but we can't drag her name into this, or their lives could be in danger.

"I want to meet her first before I can make any decision, but I want to know if I can get her out of here." My husband declared as he looked at Mindy intently.

"Of course, we only need to process some papers since Rebecca stopped being violent years ago; she acts so typical most of the time, but every time she remembers you, she will cry, and sometimes she can't contain her tantrum. If she only takes her medications on time, I am sure in no time, she will get better, and I am confident her fast recovery will be possible now that you are here, Hunter. And I think it would be appropriate if you will tell her later on that your child died since she thought your son is still alive." Mindy said, and I can tell how it hurts Hunter remembering his son.

"You have to understand that if you help Rebecca to recover, you need to make some sacrifices, including your relationship with your wife," Mindy said.

"Rebecca also thought that she was married to you, and if possible, you need to pretend you are her husband first since you can't tell her yet that you are married to Madeline because it will worsen her condition," Mindy explained. I feel the pain in my heart, and even though Mindy already told me about the scenario, it still hurt me hearing it now with Hunter, and I avoid watching Hunter's face because I am afraid of what I am going to see.

"So, it means if you plan on taking Rebecca home, you should know the consequences of all this, we all want to help her, but I don't want Madeline to suffer," Mindy said, and I looked at her and gave her my fake sweetest smile.

"Mindy, I already brought my husband here, so I am willing to do whatever it takes because I want to help her too, and I know she was important in Hunter's life before I came into his life. And I think it would be ridiculous if I say no, now that we are here. We are on this together, and I am willing to take it no matter how painful it is for me." I declared, and I felt my husband took my hand, and I turn my head to look at him. God, it feels like my heart is cut into half as I looked at his sad face.

"Madeline, are you sure about this? I can't promise you that I will not be hurting you along the process of helping Rebecca, and right now that I know everything, I just can't run away and forget about her because she needed my help, and I owe her a lot. And I have to ask forgiveness to her that I doubted her love for me. And I can't just abandon Rebecca, knowing my father did this all to her, she deserved to be free and to have a normal life, but my father ruined her life. She could have lived happily if he was not only a monster. He was so greedy for money, and I hope one day he will realize what he had done to me, to all of us who suffered because of his selfishness." Hunter said as he caressed my face.

"But one thing I want to ask you, I hope you will stay with me. I know it would be too much to ask you. I don't know what to do, Madeline, but the truth is, I don't want to hurt you because that is the last thing I want to do with you, I love you, and you know that, but I don't want you to hate me, Maddie." Hunter said, and I can feel his anguish through his voice.

"Hunter, I made this choice because I love you, and whatever decision you are going to make, I want you to know I will never make you responsible for my heartache and pain. And if ever I will stay away from you, it doesn't mean I will stop loving you, but while I can still endure it, I will stay with you whatever it takes," I answered, and he pulled me closer to him, and he hugged me tightly.

"Thank you, Madeline." He said, and when he released me from his arms, I can see Mindy wiping her tears, and I can't stop my tears from falling on my cheeks, and I quickly wiped them away because I don't want my husband to see me in tears. After all, I am sure it will make him feel worse.

"Are you ready now, Mr. Divenson?" Mindy asked, and I saw my husband stiffened.

"Yes, I think we should see Rebecca right now." He answered, and he stood up from his chair. And I realized why fate has to play tricks with us and why I need to suffer this way. I grew up fatherless, and at an early age, I witnessed how my mom succumbs to her death because of the terminal illness that she suffered, and since then, I worked hard to help my aunt pay off our debts, but it wasn't enough. Calixto forced me to come with him, and he brought me to the Divenson mansion to marry his boss because my aunt made me a token to Hunter Divenson as debt repayment. 

Then, the most beautiful thing happens when I fall in love with Hunter. It feels wonderful to be in love with him even though I know I could never win his love. By the time he married me, I was the happiest woman alive. And when my husband fell for me, I realized I am so lucky to have him in my life. But right now, it feels like I am walking in a land mine. Whatever would be Hunter's decision today, I know I will suffer the consequences, but I walked beside him in going to Rebecca's room even though my heart is screaming I should not go with him.

Cal meets us outside Mindy's office, and he came with us in going to Rebecca's room. I can tell Hunter is so nervous right now, and I am sure he wants to get over this, but I know deep in my heart he is also excited to meet Rebecca. The beautiful garden and the flowers didn't make my sadness gone, and as I take my heavy steps, I am taking my courage, and I need to be strong in front of Hunter and Mindy. I told them I made this choice, but deep inside, I am hurting like hell. I can't stop the rapid beating of my heart, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cal staring at me. I stifled a laugh when he staggers on the ground.

"Cal, you should watch where you are going." I didn't know Hunter is still watchful that he noticed Cal almost stumble on the ground.

"Sorry, Mr. Divenson, " Cal responded, and if only it had been a different circumstance, maybe I would have laughed out loud with Cal's clumsiness, but my heart is aching right now that I couldn't even laugh or smile. We stopped in front of Rebecca's room and wait for Mindy's signal if it is okay to get inside.

"Rebecca! Rebecca, can we come in?" Mindy softly asked.

"Is Maddie with you?" Rebecca answered, and I couldn't contain the guilt that I felt. She wants to be friends with me without knowing I married the man she loves.

"Yes, and there are more who wants to see you." Mindy replied.

"I only like Maddie to come inside because we are friends, and there are a lot of things I want to share with her. I don't like to see anyone, Mindy, except you are bringing my husband." She declared. And I can't contain the shaking of my entire frame, and I can also tell Hunter's hands are trembling.

"I think we should get inside now." Mindy said as she looked at us, and she walked ahead of us while I was following behind Hunter, and Cal was coming after me. Rebecca is wearing a blue dress, and her head is down. And when she noticed our presence, she slowly raised her head, and the happiness I saw in her face the moment she looked at my husband was priceless.

"Hunter! You came!" She exclaimed, and her tears are pouring down on her beautiful face, and even though the scar on her face is long, it makes her look more attractive, and she ran towards Hunter, and he remained footed on the floor, and I can tell he is still unable to believe that Rebecca is alive. He opened his arms wide for her, and when she kissed Hunter on the lips, I almost fainted on the ground when I saw my husband kissed her with longing and affection, and I realized I would never be okay. I thought I made the right decision, but I was so wrong. It feels like my heart leaped out from my chest when I saw my husband kissed her back. 

I couldn't take it anymore. I ran outside from Rebecca's room while Cal calls my name, but I never looked back, and I ran as fast as I can. And when I passed the guardhouse, I can see the looked of surprise on the guard's face, and I stopped and asked him to open the gate for me. I felt so relieved that a bus came after I reached the bus stop, and I realized I didn't bring any card with me, and I felt so thankful when one of the staff from the mental care homes paid the fare for me. 

I texted Calixto that I am sorry that I need to go back to the city since I need to go to the University to submit some report. I lied, but I need to walk away, or I don't know what will happen to me if I remain standing there watching the reunion of my husband and his first love. I couldn't stop myself from crying as the bus driver moves away from the place, and I know I should never leave Hunter, but the excruciating pain that I feel was too much for me to handle.. I know it wasn't Hunter's fault, but still, I want to flee and hide from them forever.